Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Monday, October 31, 2011

Prats of The Week - Shepway District Council

Good morning everyone!

Another week dawns, and what better way to start the week than by awarding another one of my prestigious and internationally renowned "Prats of The Week" Awards.

This week it goes to Shepway District Council.

For why?

For their bizarre decision to install "shouting lampposts".

Eh?

The lampposts (£4K each) are designed to photograph fly tippers (and are located near set of industrial bins behind The Old High Street in Folkestone). In addition, whilst the photo is being taken, the lampposts issue a loud verbal warning about not fly tipping and warning people that the lamppost is taking a picture.

Now the theory behind all of that sounds perfectly fine, if it really does deter fly tippers.

However, there is one small fly in the oinkment here.

For reasons that are pretty obvious to all but those in the council, the lampposts cannot distinguish between fly tippers and anyone else who happens to walk near the vicinity of the bins.

The result being that the lampposts take pictures of everyone, and shout (like a drunk waving a vodka bottle) at all and sundry!

Shepway District Council, well deserving Prats of The Week!




Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Friday, October 28, 2011

Nanny Bans The Second World War



When you do something, you should always do it "large".

That is my motto and, seemingly, Nanny's as well.

What has Nanny gone and done?

Well blinkey, blonkey, blimey she's only gone and banned the Second World War!

Rod Tinson has written a Halloween play which was to be staged at Pendennis Castle in Falmouth. The play featured scenes from different periods in the castle's history (including World War II, when it was a coastal defence position against the threat of German invasion).

Unfortunately for Mr Tinson, he had to get his script approved by English Heritage.

Can you guess what happened next children?

Yes, that's right, they took exception to a number of things and wanted him to make adjustments; eg to the part where a young Jewish character expressed fears about his family in occupied Poland.

For why?

English Heritage were concerned that people would be "offended" by the material, and that it would be "inappropriate" for an English Heritage audience.

Aren't Polish or Jewish people allowed to be part of our heritage then?

The censorship is rather odd really, given that Mr Tinson wrote the play for adults (it was for an adults only evening), many of whom would remember the War or know people who were involved in it.

English Heritage also had other issues:

- any references to sex (including buggary (sic)....their misspelling, not mine)
- swear words, including 'bloody' (a fine English swear word, used in "In Which We Serve")
- references to Poland, Jews and Nazis

Given the number of brave Poles and Jewish people who joined the RAF, RN and Army and the number of Polish war memorials in the UK, I would think that they would be more than "offended" at having references to their country/religion removed from the play.

BTW, the castle is also home to a collection of wartime cartoons of Hitler and Mussolini by illustrator George Butterworth. 
 
Anyhoo, Mr Tinson did what any self respecting writer would do, he told English Heritage to stuff it (not literally) and withdrew his services as a writer.
Good for him!



Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Prats of The Week - Mole Valley District Council

A large roll on the drums ladies and gentlemen, for today I award my prestigious and internationally renowned "Prats of The Week" Award twice...to the same organisation, Mole Valley District Council.



For why I hear you ejaculate (can I say "ejaculate" before 9PM?).

For the following two reasons:

1 Mole Valley District Council is attempting to dictate to people what they may plant in their hanging baskets and floral displays.

You don't believe me?

Read this then on www.olympicsdiary.com

2 My thanks to a loyal reader who tweeted me a link to a site that is campaigning for the Gatwick Aviation Museum.

"Built up, preserved and funded over decades by one gentleman (now elderly) and his team of enthusiastic volunteers and WWII airmen heroes, this Aviation Museum has a unique collection of rare British Aircraft, engines and models from the "golden age" of British aircraft manufacture. It is a national treasure and a perfect example of David Cameron's "Big Society" at work." --- Howard Smith.

Unfortunately for the museum there is one small fly in its oinkment wrt its plans for improvement. 

Can you guess what that is children?

Yes, that's right, Mole Valley District Council!

The museum has been [is] in dispute with Mole Valley District Council concerning planning permission, as despite its co-location with Gatwick Airport, the council has refused permission for a permanent museum site, citing it as being an inappropriate place for an aircraft museum. 

You couldn't make that up could you?

So there we are, Mole Valley District Council well deserving Prats of The Week! 




Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Nanny Bans Leaflets

In July I warned that Nanny was bringing her guns to bear on "leafleteers":

"Nanny's local councils have come up with another wheeze to keep themselves in the luxury to which they have become accustomed. This time they have hit upon the idea of using legislation (the Clean Neighbourhoods and Environment Act 2005) to force people who hand out leaflets in the street to buy licences.

Clever eh?

Now, I know that corporations who hire people to hand out gazillions of leaflets advertising their unwanted products can be deemed to be a nuisance (given that most of these leaflets are thrown into the bin). However, the legislation will also apply to anyone who hands out leaflets, even those who are looking for their lost cat.

Let us not forget that the origins of the "free" press (a scourge of governments throughout the ages) were the Pamphleteers.

Today the modern "Pamphleteers" are the small-scale organisations eg; Women's Institutes, comedy clubs, student societies and political campaigners. These organisations (eg if operating in Basildon) are forced to pay £350 to hand out leaflets on a Saturday, those who operate in Wolverhampton are being charged £262 per distributor.

Approximately 45 local authorities in England now insist that people have to buy a licence to hand out leaflets.

The councils claim that this is a litter related issue.

Errmmm..if people throw the leaflets on the street then surely it is for them to be fined, not the pamphleteer?

The reality in fact is that it is a great way to make money, and to restrict the freedom of speech of their hard pressed citizens.

Ker Farking Ching!

Councils are the enemies of the people
."

Following on from that, The Manifesto Club have stated that in certain towns (including that bastion of liberty and wonderfully louche behaviour, Brighton - my home town:)) have banned unlicensed leaflets altogether:

"It has become almost impossible to hand out leaflets in many town and city centres. Local councils including Brighton, Leicester and Leeds have introduced leafleting zones, within which you have to pay a fee (and often wear a badge) if you want to flyer. 

These rules have been catastrophic for grassroots organisations, including village halls, comedy clubs and nightclubs, who rely on leafleting to inform local people about their events."

As I have stated many times (repeating the same message with the depressing inevitability of an unloved season) councils are the enemies of the people!



Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Prats of The Week - Councils

Ooh err missus!

Tis time methinks to award another of my prestigious, and internationally renowned, "Prats of The Week" Awards.

This week it goes to our "beloved" and "respected" local councils in general.

For why?

Well my old muckers it seems that, despite the recession and the new age of austerity, councils across the land cannot resist spending bucket loads of our hard earned cash on worthless shite.

A Freedom of Information request has brought to light oodles of daft expenditures (is that English?) eg:

- Hillingdon paid RADA £2,700 to give a Cabinet Member "executive coaching" sessions
- Lewisham spent £300 on a "using social media" day for one person
- Kensington and Chelsea and Brent spent money (at "no cost" to the taxpayer) on in-house Blackberry courses for councillors
 - Ealing sent someone to Chichester for a "Fruit and Vegetables in Public Gardens" conference
 - Kingston-upon-Thames spent money on an internally-run "key fob training seminar"
 - Richmond sent someone to Cardiff for a training course on sex licensing establishments etc

I dare say that were we and the councils earning bucketloads of cash (and a portion of that bucketload was put away for a rainy day) then spending money on such courses etc may be beneficial (or at least harmless) in a growing economy. However, we are in a recession and during the times of plenty Broon and his chums in the councils never put anything away for today's rainy day.


Therefore I would conclude that councils simply do not get it wrt the financial state that we are in.


Councils are the enemies of the people, and well deserving Pats of The Week!




Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Monday, October 24, 2011

Booze Matters - Drink Breaks



I see that Nanny, or rather one of Nanny's chums, has got on a high horse again over Nanny's pet subject of how much we drink.

This time The Royal College of Physicians (RCP) has muddied Nanny's advice about what constitutes "safe drinking", by saying that the current advice by Nanny (21 units for men and 14 for women) implies that it is safe for people to have alcohol every day of the week.


Seemingly "experts" from the RCP now say that people should in fact take a "booze holiday" (no, not to Benidorm), and abstain from booze for 2-3 days a week.

Yawn!!

You can bet your bottom dollar that the "experts" do not want you to drink all your allowance in one go either:)

Anyhoo, to further add to people's misery, the "experts" also say that elderly people should drink less than the recommended daily allowance.

For why?

Because it damages them.

Surely, by the time one is in one's 70's/80's it matters not one jot if one cuts one's life expectancy by a few months by drinking, rather than living to a miserable incapacitated and boring old age?

These limits are bollocks; as every individual has a different capacity, body mass, food intake, general level of health, lifestyle etc etc.
 
One size does not fit all, and "experts" should stop trying to use the "one size" argument as an excuse for imposing their lifestyle views on the rest of us.




Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Europe Is Fucked!

Here is a little light reading for you as you digest your Sunday roast.

Read Europe Is Fucked!



Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Friday, October 21, 2011

Prats of The Week - Bolton Council

Congratulations to Bolton Council for winning this week's "Prats of The Week" Award.

For why have they won this fine award?

The council is spending more than £100K on texting congratulations to people who recycle properly.

The texts will include 'positive messages' and 'interesting recycling facts'.

For Fark's Sake!

Why bother?

Recycled waste tends to end up in land fills in third world countries anyway!

Bolton council, well deserving "Prats of The Week"!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Nanny Bans Humiliation



I see that Nanny is sticking her unwanted nose into sporting matters again.

This time the focus of her gimlet eye is Telford Junior Football League.

Nanny is worried that publication of the football results will embarrass the players.

Can you guess what she has done to stop the embarrassment?

Yes, that's right, Nanny now only records games in the Telford Junior League as either 1-0 wins or 1-1 draws.

Those in charge of the league claim that the new policy is in line with Football Association guidelines.

Oddly enough the FA says that this is bollocks, and that there is no such rule.

To add to the stupidity, the league will (next season) stop recording results for under-11 teams altogether.

Children need to learn about winning and losing from an early age. By engaging in this form of pc nonsense, the Junior League are in effect retarding the children from being able to learn to handle failure and the occasional snipe from rivals.

Is this denial of the right to learn from failure not in itself a form of child abuse?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Knobheads of The Year - Cambridgeshire County Council



Congratulations to Cambridgeshire County Council for voting themselves "Knobheads of The Year".

How did they achieve this magnificent award?

Simples!

Despite protests outside Shire Hall, Cambridgeshire County councillors voted themselves a 25% pay rise.

What??

Even though we are in the middle of a recession, and facing years of austerity?

How could they possibly be so insensitive, arrogant and selfish?

Simples!

According to a review panel councillors were ‘undervalued’, on their existing allowances, and a rise to £9,500 was needed to allow ‘local democracy to prosper’.

Pass the sick bag someone!

Council Leader Nick Clarke does very nicely out of the deal. His pay rises from £29,246 to £38,000.

Remember folks, the more money councillors get the more "local democracy prospers!"

Councils are the enemies of the people, and Cambridgeshire County Council are Knobheads of The Year!

BTW, they are Tories!



Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Oh So Swedish - A Shameless Advert



A shameless advert for Eva (my partner's) website "Oh So Swedish" at www.ohsoswedish.com

The above is one of her new hand printed T shirts, this one of a Mustang (modelled by me!), produced by her sister in Sweden.

Go on folks, you know you are itching to buy something:)



Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Prats of the Week - Saffron Walden Council

Kudos to Saffron Waldon Council for winning this week's "Prats of The Week" Award.

For why have they won the award?

For reasons best known the council and its workers, they recently decided to paint a disabled parking bay around a lamppost in Saffron Walden.

The council then moved the bay away from the lamppost.

Fair enough?

Well no, the new location then blocked some access steps.

The solution?

The correct solution is in fact to make the bay one foot smaller, so that the steps are not blocked.

Has the council done this?

No!

The council's solution is to move the bay back to the lamppost, and then to move the lamppost.

Saffron Walden Council, well deserving Prats of The Week!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Monday, October 17, 2011

Eat More!


I was gemused to read that there is yet more advice from some "experts" over how much people can "safely" eat.
 
In 1991 the Committee on the Medical Aspects of Food Policy (COMA) set out that the average man should be eating 2,550 calories daily, and the average woman 1,940.

However, after lengthy consultation, these limits have been raised by 55 calories for men and 139 calories for women.

Hoozah!

It seems that the old figures were based on "limited available evidence".

Errrmm..doesn't that mean that the old figures were in fact guesses?

In fact, I would go so far as to say that the "experts" who are so fond of telling us how much we can "safely" eat are talking bollocks.

For why?

Well, my loyal readers with long memories may well recall that in May this year I wrote the following:

"scientific research (carried out by the Scientific Advisory Committee on Nutrition) indicates that these limits (wrt calories) are too low. Men can in fact eat 2900 calories and women 2320."

So, which "experts" do you believe?

I suggest that we all ignore the "experts" and simply follow the old maxim "a little of what you fancy, does you good".



Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Friday, October 14, 2011

Pussycat Doll's DNA Database



I see that our pussycat loving Home Secretary, Theresa May, is in disagreement with the Joint Committee on Human Rights (JCHR) over DNA stored by the police.

Pussycat May wants the police to be able to store indefinitely the DNA of adults convicted/cautioned, whilst those charged but later cleared (ie "not guilty" in the eyes of the law) would have their DNA stored for up to five years. Plus, in the event of a "perceived" threat to national security, DNA could also be stored by the police.

JCHR are of the view that this would create “a significant risk of incompatibility with the right to a private life’’. It would also create a broad catch-all discretion for police to authorise the retention of material indefinitely for reasons of national security.


Given that Pussycat May hates the Human Rights Act, I assume that she will ignore the committee's opinion.

Databases, when mismanaged by the state, are dangerous beasts.


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Mashable Awards 2011

Please feel free to nominate me for the Mashable Awards 2011

Thanks

Ken


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny's Joyless Christmas



Tis soon the season to be merry (even if the economy is tanking, various countries around the world are squaring up to each other and several large European banks may well fall over).

As such, it should come as no surprise at all to anyone who regularly follows this site to learn that Nanny is doing her best to put the kibosh on any possible merriment.

Nanny has decided that a newly recorded Christmas special of Thomas The Tank Engine (created by the Rev W Awdry) should omit any reference to Christmas

The new episode "Keeping Up With James" (where the trains compete to carry Christmas presents) has all mentions of Christmas removed, instead the phrase "the winter holidays" is used along with other "cheery" expressions such as "holiday tree".

For fark's sake!

Irrespective of whether you are a Christian, Atheist, Muslim or worshipper of green men from Mars, we all know that there is a festival/celebration called "Christmas" (just as we know about Eid, Hanukkah etc etc). It is completely daft to try to expunge references to something (ie the celebration, rather than the event that the celebration is referring to) that is a fact.

Hit Entertainment, which is behind the show, claims that references to Christmas were removed because the DVD on which it featured was designed to be sold all the year round. 
Well that is complete bollocks for a start!
Have these people never sat down to watch the BBC in the height of Summer, only to be confronted with end to end repeats of the Christmas episodes of the Two Ronnies and Morecambe and Wise show etc?

What about the song and movie "White Christmas", those didn't do so badly did they?
All in all it is a bollocks idea!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

The Hair of The Dog

I never cease to be amazed at how deranged our local councils are. Yet even I am more than gobsmacked by what Nottingham City Council did to Roy Wyre last week.

Mr Wyre was walking his dog Spencer, and for reasons best known to Mr Wyre he was wearing a hi viz vest.

One of Nanny's Community Protection Officers (whatever that means) took exception to a non council human wearing the symbol of the state, and decided to ask Mr Wyre why he was wearing it etc.

Having finished discussing the hi viz jacket the CPO then fined Mr Wyre £75.

For why?

For  dropping dog fur (he was brushing Spencer) in a public place!

Ker Farking Ching!

Understandably this outrageous fine received some negative publicity, and Nottingham Council have now cancelled it and apologised to Mr Wyre for being utter knobheads!

Councils are the enemies of the people!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Knobheads - Braehead Shopping Centre



Congratulations to the Braehead shopping centre for winning my prestigious "Knobheads" award.

For why?

Just ask  Chris White who was on a shopping trip there and tried to take a photo of his 4 year old daughter.

A security guard told him it was illegal to take pictures in the centre, and a spokesperson for Braehead said it wanted to "maintain a safe and enjoyable environment" for shoppers.

It seems that the shopping centre was trying to invoke the Terrorism Act.

When Mr White protested that the pictures were solely of his daughter, and that he had already posted a couple to his Facebook page, the police were called.

They pointed out to Mr White that there were signs saying "no photographs", and allegedly threatened to take away Mr White's phone.


Mr White has now launched a Facebook campaign to boycott the shopping centre, feel free to pop over to the campaign page.

Oddly enough, since the fuss became public, Capital Shopping Centres Group PLC (who own the centre) have confirmed that they will be changing the photography policy at the 11 directly owned centres and that at the other 3 centres, which are owned in partnership with other companies, they will be discussing with their partners the policy change and recommending that it be adopted.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Monday, October 10, 2011

Euro Nanny In Denial



Another week and, despite what the EU bureaucrats might have us believe, the financial situation in Europe continues to deteriorate (Dexia's exposure is 180% of Belgium's GDP www.loanbuster.net).

However, despite the fast approaching EU meltdown, it is "reassuring" to know that Euro Nanny is focusing on the "important" issues.

What issues?

Why toy balloons and Christmas crackers of course!

A new EU directive on toy safety bans a number of traditional crackers fillers, because they are deemed to be "unsafe".

On banned list are such items as:

- Party blowers,
- Magnetic fishing games,
- Toy lipsticks,
- Whistles etc.

Additionally, children under eight are not allowed to blow up balloons without supervision.

Pass  the sickbag someone!

You really would think that Euro Nanny has more pressing things to fuss over!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Friday, October 07, 2011

Oh So Swedish



Here is a shameless plug for my girlfriend's (Eva) newly update website www.ohsoswedish.com (a veritable cornucopia of Swedish arts and crafts etc)

Please drop in, have a look around and make her day and buy something.

Thanks

Ken

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Sauce



We all like a bit of sauce, don't we missus?

I know I do..snut snut snut!

Therefore imagine my dismay when I read of the sad tale of Simon Hood (aged 27), who was recently planning to hold a barbecue in his garden.

Off he jolly well toddled to his local Tesco in Chineham, to buy a bottle of Jack Daniel's original Barbecue Sauce (containing a mere 1% of spirit).

A simple task I hear you ejaculate (can I say "ejaculate" before 9PM?).

Sadly no, for you see the Tesco was staffed by a jobsworth.

On presenting the bottle of sauce at the checkout, Mr Hood was asked to produce his id (note he was 27 years old, and therefore doesn't need to produce any id even if he were buying 100% surgical spirit).

Oddly enough Mr Hood had not brought with him any proof of age (why should he?), and the cashier refused to serve him.

Mr Hood sans sauce then complained to Tesco Customer Services, another jobsworth working there wrote back 4 days later:

"I can understand how annoying that must have been for you. I can only apologise for this happening.

However, we do have to ask for ID for any produce that contains alcohol, no matter the quantity of the alcohol in the product."

Bollocks!

No supermarket "has to ask for id" if someone looks over 18.

This is complete bullshit!

Boycott Tesco!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

The Euro Crisis

Re the current Euro crisis, and rumours spread by Eurocrats and a certain leading London based financial newspaper (which relies on advertising revenue from banks) about plans to save the Euro and European banks:

Learn this,
Repeat this, and
Retweet this:

THERE IS NO PLAN!! 

Read more on www.loanbuster.net 

 Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, October 06, 2011

Nanny's Fat Tax

Following on from Denmark's crazy decision to tax "fat" food, I see that British Nanny intends to try to do the same.

David Cameron (no offence to the man, but he ain't exactly skinny) has said that Nanny will consider introducing a "fat tax" to tackle Britain's growing obesity levels.

Humph!!

Physician heal thyself!

Apparently, obesity is now more serious than fags and booze!
 
What have I always said on this site?
 
First they will hit the smokers, then the drinkers..now they are coming for the food eaters!
 
You were warned!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Nanny Bans Burns


I am gemused to see that Nanny has got her knickers in a right old state over the tongue in cheek marketing campaign by a travel comparison website, dealchecker.co.uk.

Nanny's chums in the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) were less than pleased with dealchecker's July email campaign "earn with your burn".

Their advert included pictures of sunburned or sunbathing people, and offered a prize of a free holiday for two for sunburn pictures. Pictures were invited to be sent to "likealobster@dealchecker.co.uk".

ASA got terribly huffy, and said that the competition "could be seen to trivialise sunburn".

Oddly enough, there were prizes of suncream for the winner and runners-up. Additionally, during the six-week competition period it featured numerous blog posts on sun safety, regularly tweeted sun care tips etc.


Despite this some members of the public, clearly who were annoyed about the wet summer, complained to ASA about it.

ASA said:

"We... considered that the promotion could encourage recipients to get sunburnt in order to be able to enter the competition, and concluded that the competition was irresponsible."

The competition is not allowed to appear again in its current form, and the website has removed all the relevant content.

However, I will wager that the ensuing free media publicity over ASA's decision has done dealchecker nothing but good!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, October 04, 2011

Speed


I am gemused to see the all too predictable reaction from the anti speed lobby, to government plans to increase the speed limit on motorways from 70mph to 80mph.

Seemingly, if the anti speed lobby is to be believed, when this happens we will enter a nightmare world of carnage, death and mutilation on Britain's motorways.

OK, here in simple terms is why the anti speed lobby are wrong:

1 It's not speed per se that kills, it's bad driving.

2 People die and are injured in accidents on the road, even when the car is travelling at under 30mph.

3 So long as there is good visibility, a safe road surface, a safe distance between cars, alert drivers, roadworthy cars etc then the speed of the car is pretty well immaterial to its ability to stop safely in the event of an oncoming visible hazard.

It's not speed that kills, it's bad driving!

So enough of this nonsense, and let people drive on the motorways unfettered by speed restrictions (in times of clement weather and good visibility).

Prosecute those who tailgate.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Monday, October 03, 2011

Hypocrites


Congratulations to the Health and Safety Executive for wanging (can I say "wanging" before 9PM?) up a £6M credit card bill (covered by us the taxpayers).

So far so bad....

However, my jaw dropped a tad southwards when I see that some of the £6M was spent on stuff that the Health and Safety guys always tell us is dangerous eg fireworks, sun bed equipment, beauty products and tattoo ink.

Maybe they were testing these products?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries