Nanny Bans Carols

Poor old Carol, what did she do to annoy Nanny?

Banned left right and centre!

Yes folks, the old jokes are always the best!

Anyhoo, children in the choir from Arthur Bugler County Junior School in Stanford-le-Hope Essex were a tad disappointed recently. They had practiced hard to perform some carols at the Corringham Winter Festival. However, there was one small fly in their oinkment.

Can you guess what that was?

Yes, that's right, they were to perform carols.

What is wrong with carols?, I hear you ejaculate (can I say ejaculate so close to Christmas?).

Carols my dear readers are religious; the organisers of the festival didn't want anything religious, lest it spoilt the flavour of the festival.

How very petty of the organisers!

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Nanny Bans Brownies

Oh dear, Nanny has set her gimlet eye upon that most harmless of institutions the Brownies. Specifically, Nanny has it in for the girls of the West Herts Guides Division in the Hemel Hempstead area.

For why, what have these girls (age range 5 to teen) done that has so enraged Nanny?

They have sung carols (as they have done for more than 20 years) for pensioners and disabled people at a late night Christmas shopping event at the Marlowes centre in Hemel Hempstead.

All well and good, except Nanny's chums who run the shopping centre have not invited them to perform this year.

For why?

Health and Safety!

Seemingly, despite the fact they have performed there for 20 years, this year it was deemed unsafe because they might block fire escape routes.

An odd decision really, given that everything that Nanny claims she does has a "child centric focus".

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Miserable Bastards

Congratulations to the miserable bastards who run the Victoria Shopping Centre in Ysgol San Sir Llandudno, for displaying some remarkably mean Nanny tendencies and banning some school children from singing Christmas carols because they were too loud.

Whilst the media work themselves up into a frenzy about another country getting uppity over the name of a certain teddy bear, we should look to our own laurels wrt intolerance and bloody minded busybodiness.

Anyhoo, the school kids had been given permission to sing in the shopping centre and indeed were accompanied by their schoolteacher and parents.

That of course did not stop the miserable gits who run some of the shops there from complaining that the singing was too loud.

At this point the shopping centre security staff asked them to stop, after which the police then turned up as well!

How farking ridiculous is that?

The furore that this absurd incident caused has needless to say brought about abject signs of contrition from the centre manager, Sue Nash, who has now admitted/realised that the intervention of security staff was "a mistake" and said the pupils would be allowed to return this weekend.

Ian Jones, headmaster, said:

"They were a small group singing Christmas

carols to raise money,

and they were singing beautifully.

After a bit, a security guard came over

and said we had only meant to be singing

for one hour, and could we please stop.

I just said no, because I knew we were

allowed to sing between 11am and 3pm.

He said he had complaints from tenants

that we were too loud and asked us to stop.

I just asked how he proposed to stop children singing.

In the end, he said we would have to stop

or he would call the police.

A member of the public came over and

said she thought the singing was fantastic."

A Police Support Officer then attended the scene and asked the pupils to turn down the backing music on the CD player, and sing more quietly.

Mr Jones said:

"I couldn't believe what they were saying.

Some of the parents were incredulous."

Whilst, on the face of it, this may seem to be a storm in a teacup it does illustrate a number of issues wrt the Nanny state and the effect that it has on people:

• Intolerance of those who act outwith the norm, in this case kids singing where singing is not normally performed



• Intolerance of individuality and public performance (remember folks, Nanny wants public performers to have licences)



• Lack of common sense being applied by individuals and organisations (couldn't the shopkeepers have put up with it for an hour or so? Couldn't the security guard have kept his nose out of this? etc)



• The use of the state, and organs of the state, to settle personal disputes and pursue private vendettas (why on earth call the police?)

All in all this incident is an excellent example of the worst traits of Nanny Britain.

Nanny Bans Bells

Tis soon the season to be miserable, and rest assured that Nanny is well up to speed in ensuring that as many people as possible are inconvenienced this Christmas by her anti Christmas nonsense.

Callington Town Band in Cornwall, a registered charity, have found out to their cost that they can't play Jingle Bells in their Christmas shows unless they pay for a licence.

The reason?

The song has no religious content.

The band will have to pay £21 each for seven temporary licences to cover their Christmas programme because Nanny, in the form of the local licensing authority, says so.

Nanny's chums in Caradon District Council's licensing department told the band it would fall foul of the Licensing Act 2003, if it played anything other than religious based carols during its seven Christmas concerts.

The council says that a temporary entertainment notice was needed every time entertainment was provided in venues without public licences.

Now common sense surely dictates that a sensible way around this could be found, eg the fee is waived or the seven concerts are counted as one.

After all, the Licensing Act was meant to cover nightclubs and commercial operations rather than charitable Christmas concerts.

However, in Nanny's Britain common sense has been banned. Local councils are experts in not applying common sense, indeed one wonders if their role in life is to in fact deliberately antagonise and suppress the people that they claim they serve?

One other point of course, that stares us in the face like a syphilitic sore, is that of course the good old boys on Caradon District Council will make some money out of charging seven times for the same event.

Funny that isn't?

Cliff McKane, the band chairman, said:

"We were aghast when we received the letter

telling us that we had to have a license

unless we played on private property.

It was amazing."

The band a raises hundreds of pounds for charity each year, this year they are fundraising for the Cornwall Blind Association.

The local MP, Colin Breed, said that the ruling was an unintentional consequence of the licensing operations:

"It's just total nonsense.

We have to get to the question of whether the band are to play Jingle Bells.

Hopefully common sense will prevail.

I'm trying to get a more localised version of the law

hopefully we will resolve it before anyone plays Jingle Bells."

Nice to hear, but he shouldn't have to waste his time (and taxpayer's money) on this bollocks in the first place.

Mr McKane noted that he was confused with the new licensing laws which he says have meant the band need a license if they perform in a church yard, but not a few yards away inside the church building.

"Fines can be as much as £6,000 I've been told.

A lot of district councils are turning a blind eye."

Caradon District Council's licensing officer, Michelle Brooking, stonewalled by hiding behind the law:

"The ruling was brought in by the Licensing Act in 2003."

Can anyone tell what use local councils are?

They seem to be no use to man nor beast.

Their only rationale seems to be to enforce bureaucratic rules on the local electorate as a means of raising money, which is then spent on their salaries and expenses.

Time to abolish local councils methinks!

What say you?

Send an early Christmas message to Caradon District Council via these links:

Twats!

Chief Executive

Leader of The Council

An Inspector Calls

Nanny believes in being "socially and ethnically" inclusive.

A very noble sentiment, so long as those who are included wish to be part of British society.

As such Nanny's chums in Ofsted have appointed Israr Khan (pictured left), a hardline Muslim and headmaster of an Islamic school, to be a school inspector.

Nothing wrong with that, in principle, until you realise that Khan may not be feeling that "inclusive" towards British society. He once caused a furore by denouncing pupils for celebrating Christmas.

Khan delivered his anti Christmas tirade during a concert rehearsal at Washwood Heath Secondary School in Birmingham in 1996 after the choir, including around 40 Muslim youngsters, had sung a number of Christmas songs and carols.

Seemingly he leapt from his seat, yelling:

"Who is your God?

Why are you saying Jesus and Jesus Christ?

God is not your God - it is Allah."

The children in the audience began booing and clapping, and a number of choir members (white and Asian) walked out, some in tears.

Khan, who was a maths teacher at the time, was asked to work from home pending an investigation but there was no disciplinary action.

FYI Washwood Heath school had Rashid Rauf, the airline terror bomb suspect whose extradition is currently being sought from Pakistan, as a pupil there at that time.

Khan left Washwood Heath a year later to found the independent Islamic Hamd House Preparatory School in Small Heath, Birmingham, where he is headmaster.

Earlier this year, he was appointed as a governor of Anderton Park Primary School, in Sparkbrook, Birmingham.

A former Washwood Heath colleague laughed openly when told of Khan's role as an Ofsted inspector.

Quote:

"Given the man's history, it's absolutely astonishing.

It's just the cheek of the man that he's been able to reach that position.

He always was an extremely clever man.

He gave me many insights into the Islamic cause

and their hatred of the US and the Western World.

He had a big support base among some of the Muslim parents.

But there were some very influential,

radical elements at Washwood Heath at that time

and Israr Khan was very close to all that."

Earlier this year, Anderton Park, received an Ofsted report which branded its teaching and its achievements as inadequate.

An Ofsted spokesman said:

"Israr Khan was appointed as an additional inspector

via a highly competitive recruitment and selection process.

He has undergone all the relevant security checks."

Nanny should remember that inclusion works both ways.

Nanny Bans Carols II

Here is an update on yesterday's carol singing protest outside of parliament.

About 100 singers turned up last night to test the new Serious Organised Crime and Police Act, by singing in Parliament Square.

The law bans demonstrating without police permission within a half-mile "exclusion zone".

No singers were arrested.

Nanny had decided to treat it as a carol service, not a demonstration.

Ah Ha!

However, as also noted yesterday, as this was a planned event that means it breached the licensing act.

Nanny certainly likes to cause confusion doesn't she?

On the subject of carols, I understand that police in Greenwich have asked that people perform citizens arrests on carol singers who try to collect money.

Greenwich police say that residents who feel intimidated by carol singers should perform a citizen's arrest on them, because they are breaking the law.

Police released a statement saying that anyone carol singing on a doorstep, without a charity box or a permit, is "begging".

The statement also asks residents to "detain such children", and then call the police.

That will work won't it?

You try "detaining" a group of 15 year olds!

The Reverend Elaine Cranmer from St Luke's Vicarage Eltham, said:

"It seems a bit over the top to me. It sounds like using a sledgehammer to crack open a nut.

I'm aware some people feel intimidated but carol singing has become a traditional part of Christmas."

Marie Hunt, who runs the Deptford 2nd North Brownie and Guide group, said that she has stopped taking her children carol singing because of the "petty rules".

Quote:

"It has gone too far now. The police are like Scrooge, they are just spoiling Christmas for the children.

When I was younger we used to go out all the time on our own but nowadays, the kids can't do it. They don't know where they stand.

It is political correctness gone mad."

The Greenwich police statement said:

"Please remember that anyone (but usually children) who rings your doorbell or knocks and then starts singing carols,

but have no official charity collection box or permit,

are simply begging.

Begging by children under 16 is an offence under Section 4 of the Children and Young Persons Act 1933.

Anyone can detain such children and then you can call the police."

The law also states the parents or guardian of the singing child will be prosecuted.

Nanny truly has entered into the Christmas spirit!

Nanny Bans Carols

Nanny bans Carols and Susans and Alices etc..Ha! Ha!

Only Nanny's twisted little mind could have come up with something as daft as this.

It seems that carol singers have found themselves tied up by Nanny's new licensing laws.

Under the Licensing Act, which came into force last month and allows pubs to extend their opening hours, carollers do not need a licence if they just sing.

However, as with all of Nanny's rules there is a catch, if the carol singers make arrangements beforehand to sing in a particular place, they then have to apply in writing for a "temporary event notice" from their local council.

Can you believe this load of old bollocks?

Even I, who have run this site for over a year, have some difficulty in believing how stupid Nanny is being in this particular case.

Needless to say, Nanny's ever "popular" local councils have added to the confusion by interpretating the act in different ways.

In North Wales a carol service was originally cancelled when the supermarket, where it was to be staged, said that it needed a licence. However, it was then put back on again when the local council said the requirement under the new law was "nonsense".

However, a large event in Norfolk last weekend had to be called off at the last minute; after Nanny's unhelpful "jobsworth" trolls in the local authority ruled that it could not go ahead without a temporary event notice.

Churches Together, a group that organises inter-denominational carol singing and Christmas services, said:

"It has been suggested that the legislation needs 'testing' through prosecution of so-called test cases".

70 singers from local churches were to sing last Saturday outside Budgens in Poringland. However, it had to be cancelled because of confusion over the licensing requirements.

Nanny's trolls in South Norfolk district council said that a licence was needed, but that it was too late to apply.

Look you prats, all you do is turn a blind eye to the singing and don't prosecute.

Or are you too stupid and thick headed to do that?

I assume the latter.

The sad fact is that Nanny continues to hold power because she is supported by "jobsworth" cretins in local authorities, and other state organs, who are getting a power kick out of enforcing daft laws.

Seven million people now work for Nanny, no wonder she has so much power!

Suffice to say Nanny is an ass!

However, there are some people who are prepared to stand up to Nanny. I am pleased to note that today a group of people will test this stupid law, and indeed test another one of Nanny's nasty and iniquitous laws.

Carol singers are to defy a ban on unauthorised protests around Parliament.

The group will test Nanny's new Serious Organised Crime and Police Act, by singing in Parliament Square from 1800 GMT today.

Nanny has stated that demonstrating without police permission an arrestable offence near Parliament.

Singers will include long-term anti-war protester Brian Haw and Maya Evans, the first protester to be convicted.

Mr Haw is the one protester exempt from the ban, due to a Home Office drafting error. He successfully argued in the High Court that as his 4 year vigil pre-dated the law, therefore he did not have to apply for authorisation to continue.

However, he will of course be breaching the Licensing Act..OOOHH!

Since the Serious Crime Act came into force in August, several people have been arrested and other protesters have been warned off.

Peace campaigner Ms Evans was the first to be convicted under the Act, after reading out the names of soldiers killed in Iraq at the Cenotaph.

Mr Haw will lead the Lord's Prayer at the service on Wednesday, joined by others including former British ambassador to Uzbekistan, Craig Murray, and a 7 July bombings survivor.

A spokesman for the carol singers, Tim Ireland, said:

"We believe that the public has the right to gather in a public place and sing Christmas carols. The police may see things differently, we shall see."

I bet Nanny tries to use the Licensing Act to get them.

I wish all who attend this event, it is planned to continue for as long as Nanny doesn't intervene, the very best of luck.

Nanny Bans Carols

Christmas is coming,

The goose is getting fat,

Nanny needs a spanking,

There's no doubt about that

It seems that for Nanny, Christmas is becoming just too Christian these days.

Her chums in the Home Office are threatening to withdraw funding for a memorial carol service for the victims of crime, because it is "too Christian".

The service has been held at St Martin-in-the-Fields in Trafalgar Square, for the last 11 years. It was set up to help grieving relatives of homicide.

However, Nanny's gnomes in the Home Office have threatened that they will withdraw funding unless the service tones down its Christian content.

Whatever happened to a good old fashioned commercial Christmas eh?

A Christmas Carol

Nanny and her friends have not been asleep during the festive season. One of her friends, the Very Reverend John Lewis Dean of Llandaff Cathedral in Cardiff, has decided that the carol "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" is offensive to women.

As such, he has decreed that the words be changed to the rather catchy "God Rest Ye Merry People" instead.

He decreed that this version be sung on Christmas day.

Those of you who have time to spare, between the mince pies and cold turkey, may like to submit your own versions of Christmas carols that would be suitable for singing to Nanny.

There is no prize, other than the kudos of seeing your name and carol appear on this site.

Nanny's Special Christmas

Further to my recent post about Nanny banning religion (Nanny Bans Religion), as she attempted to abolish the word “Saint” from the name of a school in Islington, it seems that she has taken another goosestep on the way to a religious free state.

Nanny’s lackeys, in Mantle Community Arts, have acceded to her wishes with regard to quashing religious symbolism.

Coalville, in Leicestershire, was to have held its traditional Christmas lantern procession for 600 children.

To quote Mantle’s own words:

“The effect of so many lanterns brought together is magical. We aim for this project to foster a sense of community celebration, creativity and enchantment, bringing children and adults together to celebrate themselves, their artwork and their community..."

The £16K cost of this procession was to have been funded by Nanny’s National Lottery.

However, Nanny’s sycophants in Mantle Community Arts have decided that the event might be used by rebel elements in the clergy to sing carols and preach gospels. Nanny regards these as revolutionary songs and actions, which must be quashed.

Therefore, in true nanny logic, the Christmas parade will be moved to January; thereby avoiding any attempt, by the revolutionary elements in the clergy, to use the event for their evil religious purposes.

However, the good people of Coalville need not despair; Nanny will be providing them with an extra special Christmas tree this year, to brighten their dark soulless nights.

Please feel free to tell Mantle Community Arts what you think of their attempt to crush Christmas, by writing to them here: mantlearts@btclick.com