Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Friday, July 29, 2016

Lord Ahmad - Nanny's Merriment Killer


Oh dear oh dear, I had hoped that the Tories were going to one day get over their Nannying fetish, sadly not yet.

Step forward Lord Ahmad (Nanny's aviation minister) who has got his knickers in a twist over people drinking at airports.

He is concerned that between March 2014 and March 2016 442 people were held after air rage incidents, this is a piss pathetic percentage when you consider that 8 million people fly EVERY DAY!.

His solution to this piss pathetic problem?

Stop 24 hour drinking at airports.

He says that he does not want to “kill merriment altogether” but feels that the current regime may not “fit for purpose”.

He wants to “look at” the fact that airport pubs, bars and restaurants can sell alcohol 24 hours a day because they are not subject to licensing laws.

Ironically Graham Stringer, a Labour MP on the Transport select committee, basically said that the idea is bollocks:
My instinct is that there are already rules and if people fancy a drink at the start of their holidays then why shouldn't they have one?
It sounds to me like nannying and I think he's looking for something to do. There are perfectly adequate rules to stop anti-social and drunken behaviour both in airports and on planes."
Here are a few reasons as to why Lord Ahmad is talking bollocks:

1 People such as Ahmad fly business/first class, as such they sit in nice lounges with access to free booze. The rest of the world has to use bars and pay for the booze, why restrict only the "plebs" rights?

2 People are flying 24 hours a day, and their body clocks are generally fucked. Therefore to restrict sales to only certain times of the day makes no sense at all, given that major airports operate 24/7.

3 Bar staff are trained to stop serving people who are clearly well out of their boxes.

4 There are already plenty of rules etc that can stop unruly idiots even boarding a plane.

5 The stats show that it is not a major problem.

6 Air rage is not always alcohol related.

Basically Lord Ahmad should shut up!

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Thursday, July 28, 2016

The Empire Strikes Back - Imperial Tobacco Circumvents Nanny


Kudos to the good people of Imperial Tobacco who have come up with a way of circumventing Australian Nanny's health warnings on fag packet laws.

The solution?

Packs of 20 Peter Stuyvesant cigarettes - manufactured by Imperial - are being sold with a lift out soft pack inside the olive boxes mandated by the Rudd/Gillard Government in 2011.

This means that fag lovers can throw away the cardboard box carrying warnings of cancer, gangrene, blindness and heart disease and instead use a shiny silver pack to carry their fags.

As per Chinchilla News a spokeswoman for Imperial denied the company was breaking the law before adding:
"we are providing a fresher, premium product to consumers."
Now here's a thought, British Nanny wants plain packaging. Why not simply insert a nicely designed colourful inner container into the dowdy Nanny pack, so that fag smokers can show their true allegiance after purchase and throw the Nanny pack away?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

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Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Fear of Causing Offence Offends Us All


I see that Fireman Sam has managed to get himself entangled in an alleged religious furore.

The BBC reports that an episode of Fireman Sam, in which one character appears to tread on a page from the Koran, has been withdrawn.

A scene in the children's programme shows a fireman slipping on a pile of papers - and as they fly into the air a page from the Koran is "briefly depicted", production firm Mattel said.

The episode was first broadcast in October 2014 on Channel 5 but the "error" has only recently been spotted.

Mattel apologised and said it did not believe it was done "maliciously".

Channel 5, which broadcasts Fireman Sam, has removed the episode from its streaming website.

Miqdaad Versi, assistant secretary general of the Muslim Council of Britain, tweeted: "I have no idea what went through the producer's minds when they thought this was a good idea #baffled".

He also said he had identified the page from the Koran as "Surah Mulk (67), verses 13-26".

In a statement, Mattel said:
"The page was intended to show illegible text and we deeply regret this error.

We sincerely apologise for any distress or offence it may have caused."

It said it would "no longer be working with the animation studio responsible", and would take "immediate action to remove this episode from circulation".

"We are reviewing our content production procedures to ensure this never happens again.".
Looking at the offending clip, I am at a loss to understand how (unless someone looks frame by frame) a normal viewer could even see this?

How therefore was this first spotted?

In the current scheme of things, given the daily news headlines, why is this making headlines?

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Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

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Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Hoist With Nanny's Own Petard


Nanny would have us believe that she is omnipotent, and can "improve" our lives at the click of her heels.

Yet, as is clear from the above, she is also now hog tied by her own rules and regulations.

Will she learn a lesson from this?

No, of course she won't!

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Monday, July 25, 2016

Nanny Bans Latin Abbreviations



Nanny's experts in wordspeak are concerned that some of her subjects are too thick to understand Latin abbreviations that have been used for centuries eg; ie, QED, eg,etc.

Therefore Nanny will ban all Latin abbreviations on all of her official websites ie (oops I can't say that anymore!) those hosted under GOV.UK.

Seemingly the phrases could confuse English speakers who were "under stress or in a hurry".

This of course is bollocks, because Latin is the root of many European languages (especially English) and forms a common bond between these languages.

Nanny would do better on focusing her gimlet eye on reducing the amount of guff she writes, and clarifying her bureaucratic wordspeak!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Nanny Orders Everyone To Take Vitamin D Supplements


According to research carried out by the Scientific Advisory Committee on Nutrition (SACN), everyone should consider taking vitamin D supplements in autumn and winter.

Nanny's sets the recommended levels at 10 micrograms of the vitamin a day.

Now a long time ago, before Nanny came along, most people who had normal diets and exposed themselves to the sun were able to ingest enough vitamin D without the need for supplements.

However, the main sources of vitamin D are sunlight, dairy products, eggs etc.

Can you tell me children what the problem with the above list is?

Yes, that's right, Nanny hates all of the above and has lectured us day and night to avoid sunlight, dairy products and eggs.

In other words the current estimates of one in five adults and one in six children in England having low levels of vitamin D are most likely caused by Nanny's advice wrt sunshine and food products!

The solution to living a healthy, happy life is to ignore everything that Nanny tells you.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries