Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Wednesday, October 01, 2014

Stoptober

As Nanny launches yet another tiresome campaign aimed at encouraging us to drink and smoke less, it is with huge irony that the ONS have revised upwards Britain's GDP figures for 2013.

Why is that ironic?

Well, one of the reasons for the upward revision is the fact that (because of EU regulations) GDP must now include figures from illegal/semi illegal activities (eg drugs and prostitution).

The inclusion of these figures added (albeit by way of estimate) another £12.3BN to the British economy.

However, the real irony is that booze contributed only £11BN.

Thus proving the old adage, that the more that you try to ban something the more popular it becomes.

There's irony for you!

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Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Prats of The Week - Sainsburys'


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Monday, September 29, 2014

Nanny Is Mother, Nanny Is Father - The Lunchbox Inspectors

My thanks to a loyal reader who pointed me to an article in the Mirror (the paper that thinks it more newsworthy to entrap a foolish MP into sending a picture of his meat and two veg, than to report on more pressing matters such as the war in the Middle East) about Caen Community Primary School in Devon, which is removing food such as chocolate, crisps and fizzy drinks from pupils' lunchboxes.

For why?

Seemingly the school is acting on advice from the NHS and the Children's Food Trust.

Those lunchboxes that contain "Red" foods (eg colas etc) are confiscated until the end of the day, and the child given a healthy alternative. Those lunchboxes that contain "Amber" foods (eg white bread) give rise to a warning letter sent to parents.

All of this may be perfectly well intentioned, but it rather misses two points:

1 It is not Nanny's role to bring up other people's kids

2 The contents of a lunchbox does not give rise to an obese child, it is the daily diet and exercise regimen of a child that determines the size of that child. Unless Nanny intends to dictate the latter this policy will fail.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin Arrested!


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Friday, September 26, 2014

Nanny's ID Checks


My thanks, and commiserations, to a loyal reader who has had a devil of a time trying to prove his identity.

What was he trying to do?

Fly to Syria?

No!

Obtain a passport?

No!

He was trying to buy a house!

Read on:
"Ken,

I wonder if you can advise on something or at least let your readers know of the stupidity of the current rules on this situation?

As a person who never travels out of the UK and who doesn't drive I have a Provisional Photocard Driving License primarily as a method of proving my age and ID when appropriately challenged.

You can imagine my surprise when I attempt to purchase a property then that they tell me this isn't acceptable ID for my solicitors to do Money Laundering Checks on me to prove I am who I say I am!

I then offered my birth certificate up to my marriage certificate to prove my current identity. They wouldn't accept that either!

I was then told to go away and get a passport or a FULL driving license in order to be able to purchase property in this country.

This has occurred with 2 separate solicitors. Luckily I have now found a local one who is happy to accept my Provisional License Photocard as ID and I should now be able to purchase a property!

It seems the government have tightened Money Laundering Regulations so far and made solicitors so scared that *they* will be held at fault and face potential jail for a fraudulent transaction that many solicitors are willing to refuse clients over something as silly as whether they have passed a driving test or not!

Let alone for someone who doesn't drive, doesn't have a provisional and only has "paper" documents with no photo who'd be even worse off....

For reference I phoned the Money Laundering reporting line (the only number I could find for the 'area' of conduct) and was told they couldn't advise me. I phoned DVLA who say that neither full or provisional licenses are actually valid to use as ID technically but there is no distinction in the controls over the two so if they accept one they should accept the other. I also phoned the SRA who advised me they know of no such issue with Provisional licenses, or of any guidance issued not to accept them for Money Laundering checks!

If you don't drive or travel abroad be prepared to be marginalised more and more in this country! 

Which is mad considering the government want people not to drive or travel so much in the first place!"
Comments are welcome, it seems daft to me!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Eat Ponies


In a splendidly robust piece of advice the Dartmoor Hill Pony Association (DHPA) says the best way to save herds of ponies on the ancient moorland is by creating a "market" for them by eating them.

It follows comments by Princess Anne endorsing eating horses to improve their welfare.

Like it or not, when there is a market for an animal there is usually an incentive to breed it and care for it (until it is slaughtered). Hence the fact we have cows. Were we to stop eating cow/beef and using their milk, cows would die out.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Mars Helps You Work, Rest and Play


Congratulations to India for successfully putting a satellite in orbit around Mars.

This success, at I dare say some expense, leaves me wondering why Nanny sends aid to India each year?

In fact, according to the BBC,  India was the biggest recipient of bilateral aid from the UK, receiving an average of £227M a year in direct financial support over the past three years.

Given that, according to Millipede and co, everything is falling apart here should charity not first begin at home?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Nanny Bans TV


I see Nanny's chums National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE - often featured on this site) have got their knickers in a twist about how fat we are.

Their solution is hardly earth shattering, exercise more by turning off the TV and having TV free days. Oh, and for good measure, cut down on drinks with sugar and takeaways.

Sigh, has Nanny not been saying this many times before?

Why does NICE think that regurgitating the bleeding obvious will make a sea change in people's behaviour.

Oh, I know, they need to justify their existence and the funding that they receive!

Anyhoo, that aside, recommending TV free days is somewhat 1980's. NICE appear to be oblivious to the fact that many people now watch "TV" via their computers and mobile devices. Given that they are so out of touch with how people live in the 21st century, how one earth can they be trusted to give us advice?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries