The "Laughing" Policemen

Oh dear oh dear, it seems that some of Nanny's police officers have suffered a sense of humour failure; as Miranda Skillings, of Brancaster, found to her cost recently.

Brancaster recently held a fete, the tradition of the village being that people put up "humorous" scarecrows around the village in "amusing" places and poses.

Mrs Skillings made 7ft scarecrow that resembled a policeman with a speed gun, she put him up next to roadside post.

Can you guess what happened next children?

Yes, that's right, a policeman arrested the scarecrow for impersonating a police officer and took him to the police station.

Oddly enough the village had received permission from the police to create such an effigy.

Therefore you will be relieved to hear that Mrs Skillings was allowed to take her scarecrow home. However, she has been told to remove the radar gun.

Inspector Dave Buckley of Norfolk Police said:

"Speed radars are used to prevent casualties on our roads. They should not be recreated by the roadside in jest."

I guess there is not much crime in the Norfolk area then?

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Nanny's Child Snatchers

I see that Nanny has resorted to using the full apparatus of the state to enforce her child centric policies, if this report (see below) in the Telegraph of the other day is accurate. I have reproduced it in full as, quite frankly, I initially assumed that they were writing about a third world dictatorship rather than the UK.

- Since when did the state start "sectioning" people for being "overprotective" of their children?

- Why are social workers allowed to behave in the same manner as the Gestapo?

- Why was Mr Jones' wife arrested, and the children snatched by the state?

- Why was the chief magistrate allowed to act as magistrate, given that he was chairman of the trustees of the mental hospital in which Mr Jones was being detained?

- Why is ZaNuLabour still in office?

It is the most sickening story of state abuse of power that I have read for quite sometime, and wonder how long it will be before Nanny uses the powers of the state to start "sectioning" other people for alleged "delusions" (eg that the state is corrupt)?

The Telegraph:

"One of the most disturbing features of life in modern Britain has been the extraordinary powers given to social workers to seize children from their parents, too often – when those powers are abused – supported by the police and family courts. What makes this still more alarming is the legal bar on reporting these episodes, supposedly to protect the children, which again too often works to protect the social workers themselves at the expense of the children.

Details of yet another shocking case, which comes to its climax in a county court in eastern England this week, have recently been placed in the House of Lords Library. This follows a comprehensive investigation carried out on behalf of the family by Lord Monckton of Brenchley, who, as a hereditary peer, does not sit in the Lords, but has passed his dossier both to an active life peer and to this column.

Until six weeks ago, Mr and Mrs Jones, as I must call them under reporting restrictions, lived happily with their three young children, two sons and a daughter, aged under 13. Mr Jones, a business consultant, is related to various European royal families and his brother is a senior Army officer seconded to the UN. If he has one weakness, as he admits, it is to refer to these connections, as he did to the heads of the schools attended by his two older children, saying that he was particularly concerned for their security. He asked that he could be allowed to drive into the school grounds when picking up his daughter, because he did not want to leave her waiting, potentially vulnerable, in the road outside.

The headmistress agreed to this, but, concerned about other children's safety, contacted the local police, who in turn passed on their concerns to social services. The result of this was that, on May 18, when Mr and Mr Jones, accompanied by their younger son, arrived at school to pick up their daughter, they were met by a group of strangers, one as it turned out a female social worker. She asked, without explaining why or who she was, whether he was Mr Jones. When she three times refused to show him any ID, he was seized from behind by two policemen, handcuffed and put under arrest.

He was driven by a policeman to a nearby mental hospital where he was told that, because of "a number of concerns", he was being detained under Section 136 of the Mental Health Act and "sectioned" under S.2 as of "unsound mind". His wife, it turned out, had been similarly arrested, for loudly protesting at the handcuffing of her husband and the forcible seizing from her arms of her young son. The three children had been taken into care by social services.

Mrs Jones was allowed to return to an empty home that evening. Mr Jones was permitted to attend court two days later, to hear the magistrates grant an interim order for the children to remain in the care of social services. Because he was "sectioned", he was not allowed to speak. The chief magistrate, it later emerged, was chairman of the trustees of the mental hospital in which he was being detained.

On May 28, Mr Jones appeared before a mental health tribunal which, after hearing all the facts relating to his case, gave him a complete discharge. He returned home to his wife and immediately contacted his MP, a local MEP, lawyers and others he thought might be able to help, one of whom set in train the investigation by Lord Monckton that led to this story appearing here.

Despite the finding of the tribunal, the social workers have remained determined to hold on to the children, with a view to their care being determined in a county court on Wednesday. The voluminous dossier setting out this extraordinary sequence of events not only includes lengthy statements from Mr and Mrs Jones but copies of detailed statements by the social worker and policewoman most closely involved in the case (along with a good deal more circumstantial evidence).

The only reason offered in these documents for the abduction of the children is Mr Jones's "delusional belief system" that special care should be taken of his children because of their elevated family connections. The only harm done to the children is their very evident unhappiness at being separated from their parents.

It must be hoped that the court this week recognises how grotesquely this tragic case has been blown out of all proportion, and rules that a loving family should immediately be reunited."

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Nanny Bans Parents

Nanny's child centric policy has taken another nasty step forward towards banning parents and adults outright.

In fact, that is exactly what has happened!

Over 270 pupils from four local primaries took part in the East Beds School Sports Partnership Athletics Day at Sandy Upper School in Biggleswade, Bedfordshire last week.

In keeping with such an occasion, Nanny's trolls who ran the event performed a risk assessment.

Can you guess what the risk assessment's findings were children?

Yes, that's right, the risk assessment highlighted the potential risk of paedophiles and kidnappers attending the event.

So what did Nanny decide to do?

You've guessed it, Nanny banned parents from attending the event.

Paul Blunt of the East Bedfordshire School Sports Partnership, which ran the event, said:

"If we let parents into the school they would have been free to roam the grounds.

All unsupervised adults must be kept away from children.

An unsavoury character could have come in and we just can't put the children in the event or the students at the host school at risk like that.

The ultimate fear is that a child is hurt or abducted, and we must take all measures possible to prevent that."

Yes, you did read this bit correctly:

"All unsupervised adults must be kept away from children."

Unsurprisingly a local councillor, Anita Lewis, supported this nasty and odious policy.

"The safety of the children is paramount.

It was decided that following a risk assessment we could not adequately supervise up to 100 plus adults on the school site."

In case you are wondering, Councillor Lewis is a Tory!

I find this ban to be particularly distasteful and odious:

1 Parents should be encouraged to attend such events to show support for their children. Children need the support and encouragement of their parents.

2 How many children have been kidnapped/molested at school sports days?

3 What kind of a message does this send to kids, if we are telling them that their own parents, and friends of their parents, cannot be trusted with them? Instilling such a sense of fear into the children will cause significant psychological damage to the children, and is tantamount to child abuse.

4 Why do we even allow children outside the front door, if the world is such a dangerous place?

Here is councillor Lewis's email address, if you want to discuss this with her:

- anita.lewis@centralbedfordshire.gov.uk

Here is Cameron's as well, for all the good that it will do:

- camerond@parliament.uk

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Happy Independence Day

Happy Independence Day to my American friends.

Party hard and set off lots of dangerous fireworks!

Ken

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Mind Your Own Business

In the halcyon days of yore, pre Nanny (if those days ever really existed), there was a more open and mutually respectful relationship between the police and the public whom they are meant to protect.

Sadly, as Nanny has step by step politicised the police, that relationship has soured somewhat.

An example of this souring is this wee incident that happened recently on the A23 near to Brighton (my residence).

Five police cars and the force helicopter swooped on a red car as it raced down the A23, at speeds thought to exceed the national speed limit.

Motorists saw two patrol cars chasing the red Rover, three more setting up a road block and the police helicopter flying low overhead.

Needless to say, they contacted the local rag.

It turns out that this was a training exercise for Sussex Police.

Fair enough!

However, when the local rag rang up the police to get some background (eg were ordinary drivers put at risk by this etc) here is verbatim (according to the rag) response:

"It is none of The Argus' business and it is none of the business of any member of the public who saw it.

It happens every day of the year and members of the public are always ringing up, if they choose to ring The Argus then that's up to them."

That's the spirit lads!

Funny that, I thought that we paid these people's salaries?

It is also rather amusing that the local force thinks that we should mind our own business, given that their CCTV vans (which patrol Brighton's streets) have the following logo emblazoned across the side:

"Smile, you're on CCTV"

Clearly I have misunderstood the relationship between Nanny's police and society.

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What a Ranker!

The Milky Bars are on me!

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Dig For Victory - Flowers Banned

In Brown's Bankrupt Britain things have hit a new low, and are clearly much worse than I had realised.

Nanny, in the shape of Rogerstone Community Council, has now decreed that only food should be grown on their allotments.

Edith Avery (89 years old) found this out to her cost as, despite having used her allotment for 30 years, the council have told her that they will take away her allotment.

For why?

Finding it now a bit of a struggle to grow vegetables, Mrs Avery has started to grow flowers instead. The council, deeming that we are now facing "war time conditions" (I guess), have forbidden this and want to allocate her allotment space to others who will grow only vegetables.

All well and good, given the enormous demand for allotments (maybe), except for one large fly in Nanny's oinkment. It seems that there are many plots that are completely neglected and untended.

Why not forcibly remove these first?

The council are (as expected) trying to duck out of discussing this, council chairman Andrew Cooksey said he did not want to comment directly, but would be discussing the matter with the clerk.

The clerk, of course, is on holiday!

As ever, Nanny's local councils act without thinking and pick the easiest targets on which to impose their arbitrary rules.

Why shouldn'y Mrs Avery be allowed to grow flowers?

We are not at war are we?

Or is there something Nanny has yet to tell us?

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The Death of ID Cards

Not with a bang, but with a whimper, we see the long painful demise of Nanny's much ridiculed ID cards scheme.

Nanny has now decreed that ID cards will not longer be compulsory. Thus giving would-be urban (locally born) terrorists and criminals an incentive to have one (as only "really honest" people - in Nanny's view - would ever carry one).

Terrorists and criminals aside, the rest of us will of course not bother shelling out the money for these absurd documents, thus rendering the entire concept utter bollocks!

Quite why Nanny does not put this failed, money wasting, scheme out of its misery I don't know.

In case you need reminding, here is why ID cards are bollocks see link:

Why ID Cards Are Bollocks

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Brown's Bankrupt Britain

We're skint!

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Won't Somone Think of The Children? II

I see that Nanny, as child centred as ever, has found another way to ban adults from the adult world so that Nanny's precious children can "roam free" without ever having to mix with adults or obey their rules.

A group of pensioners (over 50's to be precise) from Eye (near Peterborough) have been holding regular coffee mornings each week in their local library for the last 4 years.

So far so good!

Now children, can you guess what happened next?

Yes, that's right Nanny has now banned them from having their coffee mornings.

Can you guess for why?

Health and Safety!

It seems that a toddler group now also uses the library, and Nanny (from Peterborough City Council) has decreed that the health and safety risk of a pensioner (note the coffee mornings are open to all who are over 50) spilling hot coffee on a toddler is just too great.

The toddlers started using the library a few weeks ago, and under Nanny's child centric policies must have priority over all adults. The irony is that the coffee drinking part of the coffee morning is actually over before the toddlers arrive.

The solution is simple, and obvious, ban the children from coming in to the library at the same time as the adults.

Nanny insists that all policy in the country is "child centric", it is high time that Nanny realised that this country should be run for the benefit of the adults not the children.

BTW, this is of course a Tory council!

Here's David Cameron's email to tell him what you think: camerond@parliament.uk

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Heatwave!

Pah!

I see that Nanny has issued one of her regular warnings about something that we need to be afraid of, lest we "risk our health" ignoring her.

This time Nanny is telling parents to keep babies and young children indoors, as our ever "accurate" and "world class" weather forecasters predict that temperatures will rise to the high 20's or beyond.

My gosh, how do people who live in places such as India, Africa and the Med ever cope with temperatures that go way beyond that???

For good measure Nanny also warned people over 75, and people with heart problems, not to go out as well.

Hospitals have been put on standby to deal with sunstroke victims, as the Met Office issued its first ever heatwave warning amid fears that it could become "dangerously" hot and humid.

OK folks, here are a few factoids:

1 High 20's low 30's is not that excessive, try living in eg Africa, India or eg Beijing/Seoul in the summer if you want to experience real heat/humidity.

2 We pay carbon tax, which is allegedly being used to reduce "global warming", let us now get value for money for that tax by enjoying the heat.

3 This is just part of Nanny's "global warming" scare story strategy, designed to justify her raising taxes even more.

4 Why does Nanny not also warn parents about the dangers of taking their kids to hot countries (eg Spain) for their holidays?

5 When have the weather forecasts ever really been that accurate? It is high time forecasters were fined for misleading forecasts, then we would see a change in attitude!

In short, make the most of any sun or heat that comes our way; Nanny Brown's Britain is a pretty damp and miserable place normally.

Remember, we managed to run an Empire in some of the hottest parts of the world with little more than a pith helmet and a bottle of gin. Nanny, had she been around then, would never have even let us board the ferry at Dover.

Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun!

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Drink Exclusion Zones

Now here's a funny thing...did you know that there are over 700 "controlled drinking zones" in the UK?

No, I didn't either until I read this in yesterday's Times.

Nanny is so pleased with her little wheeze, that she is adding to them on an almost daily basis.

The trouble is that these zones don't seem to be sensibly targeted at those who are out of their boxes and causing a nuisance, but instead are targeted at people who are just having a quiet drink in the park or on the beach.

Indeed in some cases, as Dan Travis of Brighton discovered, people are being stopped and asked to dispose of their booze down the drain; even though the cans are unopened and they are walking down the street from the off licence from whence they have purchased them.

Here's where it gets interesting, for me anyway, The Times says that police in Brighton and Hove (where I live) appear to be the most energetic in the country. Their 45 community support officers are making 25 confiscations a week.

Seemingly Brighton has a zero public drinking policy city wide. This is news to me, as I have had on several occasions had a few on the beach and in the park (picnicking peacefully with Eva).

The trouble with our zealous "chums" from Nanny's Brighton zero drinking patrols is that whilst they may be very "brave" and zealous, when targeting non trouble making picnickers etc, they haven't lifted a finger (as far as I can see) against the hardcore piss heads who roam certain streets/areas of Brighton (eg London Road, St James Road and the Level) who are bloody trouble makers and are at times aggressive/threatening.

Why is that then???

As ever with Nanny's rules, she only bothers to implement them against those of us who are law abiding and compliant.

Suffice to say I will continue to drink on Brighton beach and in Brighton's parks etc, and suggest that the rest of you do too.

Why don't we have a day of national public drinking, and reclaim the parks and beaches?

BTW, Brighton is a Tory council. Here is the email address of the council leader, if you want to discuss this policy, Mary.Mears@brighton-hove.gov.uk

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Wheels Come Off Nanny's Pension Schemes

My views on pensions are here, if you want to depress yourselves.

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Prats of The Week - Long Ashton Golf Club

Lawks a Mercy!

More than a wee bit of time has passed since I awarded my world famous and much coveted "Prats of The Week" Award, it is most surely time to dole out another one.

This week it goes to the numpties in charge of the restaurant at Long Ashton Golf Club in Bristol.

For why?

They have sacked Olive Bater, their 83 year old washer up of the past 22 years.

Over the last 22 years (six days a week) Mrs Bater has washed the dishes, estimated at being 3 million pieces in all, at the club without ever taking a single day off sick.

So why have they sacked her?

Can you guess children?

Yes, that's right, health and safety!

Mrs Bater was told that the job posed an "immense" health risk.

Come again?

As Mrs Bater says:

"All I do is put dishes in a dishwasher, where's the health and safety problems in that?"

Secretary of the club, Victoria Rose said:

"There are immense health and safety issues to take into account in such a potentially dangerous environment."

Errmmm...they are what precisely?

There are thousands of kitchens across the country where humans wash (allegedly) the dishes, are these all to be closed because of health and safety?

A cynic might suggest that they dispensed with Mrs Bater because they deemed her to be "too old", of course I am not a cynic.

Wrt "health and safety" rulings such as this, they are invariably used as the catch all excuse by pen pushing bureaucrats afraid of their own shadows. These people are too gutless to take responsibility for anything at all, and seek to use procedures and imaginary "risks" to hide behind when confronted with having to make any form of decisions.

These people infest every aspect of our lives and, for reasons that I cannot understand, have been entrusted with power over us.

People such as these are the ones who should be sacked!

Long Ashton Golf Club, well deserving Prats of The Week.

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