Countdown To The Great War

-	-	-	-
DAYS	HRS	MINS	SECS

Nanny Hates Fags - Nanny Bans Outside Smoking

As we all know, Nanny hates fags (despite making gazillions every year from the tax she puts on them). As such she has done her level best to stop us from smoking in buildings and cars.

However, banning us from smoking inside is simply not good enough, Nanny also wants to ban us from smoking outside.

Step forward Barbacoa in Crosby, which becomes that first restaurant/bar in the UK to ban smoking in their outdoor beer garden.

For why?

It seems that some customers have been deterred by the fact that the outdoor space has become an 'al fresco smoking lounge.'

Barbacoa owner Gordon Tartt is quoted by the Mirror:

“Customers were complaining that the outside of the restaurant was becoming an al fresco smoking lounge so we’ve created a place where people can eat and drink in a smoke free environment.

During the fine weather people want to go outside but many were turned off by the huddle of smokers. It’s already proving extremely popular and we’re delighted to receive the very first Fresh Air award.”

Melody Holt, tobacco control manager at the Roy Castle Lung Cancer Foundation, said:

“This is the first smoke free beer garden that we’re aware of and we would encourage other establishments to follow their lead.

We believe it’s really important that when people step outside for fresh air, that’s what they should get rather than clouds of smoke. The dangers of passive smoking are well-known.”

I like fresh air too, therefore please can Nanny ban people from driving cars, lorries and flying planes?

No!??

I thought not!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny's New Dog Shit Law

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Hates Fags - Jack Wilshere Apologies For Having a Fag

I find Nanny's hatred of fags to be absurd and stifling in the extreme.

It now transpires that the incorruptible beautiful game has been tarnished, in Nanny's eyes, by the fact that Arsenal and England player Jack Wilshere was seen smoking whilst on holiday in a hot tub in Vegas.

FFS!

So what!

Sadly, for reasons that I don't understand, Wilshere has apologised.

Why????

He is quoted by Sky Sports News:

“I made a mistake then, and I made a mistake again – people make mistakes. 

I’m young and I’ll learn from it. 

I realise the consequences it has and the effect it has on the kids growing up. 

I’ve got kids myself, and I don’t want them to grow up thinking that their dad smokes and that it’s OK for footballers to smoke, because it’s not. 

It’s unacceptable. I’ll accept the consequences and move on.”

Absurd, he has nothing to apologise for!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Bring Back Bowing!

I am gemused to see that Nanny is so worried about the potential transference of germs, via handshakes, that she wants us to greet each other in a less physical manner.

Scientists at Aberystwyth University have shown that a shake transfers more bacteria than other forms of hand-on-hand action. That I would have said is rather obvious, given the sweatiness and filthiness of the part of the body being grasped.

The boffins have therefore advised that, especially during flu and Ebola season, we bump fists instead.

Not wishing to be outdone, Public Health England wants us to return to the Victorian-age of bowing or curtsying.

I'm all for it, the avoidance of sweaty handshakes and worst of all faux European cheek to cheek kissing is surely a good thing!

Therefore, in future, whenever I enter a room I suggest that you all genuflect.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Hates Fags - Plain Packaging Encourages People To Smoke

As loyal readers know, Nanny hates fags.

This is rather ironic given that she makes a fortune from taxing them, but hey hoh who are we to judge Nanny's reasoning?

Anyhoo, one of her favourite ideas to lessen people's usage of the demon weed is to introduce plain paper packing. Apparently we are so excited by the stimulating packaging designs, that we are tempted to smoke.

Quite!

Ignoring the poor logic of Nanny's reasoning,  Australia Nanny has already introduced plain packaging.

How's it going then downunder?

Well, as expected, not too well. For you see dear readers plain paper packs are easy to counterfeit.

Can you guess what happened children?

Yes, that's right, there has been an explosion of counterfeit fags hitting the streets.

Channel Seven News note that the policy has boosted counterfeiting and smuggling by about 40 percent.

Seizures of illicit sticks is up from 82 million in 2012 to 200 million last year. Local Police Officer Rodney Smith said that no one could be sure what the counterfeit cigarettes contained, although in laboratory tests they are regularly found to contain chemicals that are not allowed to be added by legitimate manufacturers.

In fact Aussie media is full of stories reporting that smoking is up after plain packaging was introduced 18 months ago.

Great diea Nanny, well done!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Screen Five Year Olds For Coordination Problems

It seems that as a result of certain issues, eg the reduction in time spent playing outside and crap parenting, large numbers of children nowadays apparently have lousy physical coordination (eg they cannot sit still, stand upright or hold a pencil).

Sally Goddard Blythe, director of the Institute for Neuro-Physiological Psychology in Chester, said that all infants should be given physical checks at the age of five, because large numbers of children with basic developmental problems were “slipping through the net”.

Fair enough, maybe.

However, once a problem has been identified what exactly will Nanny do to correct it?

Is this not an issue that the parents should be addressing?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

You Are A Fat Bastard!

Oh dear Nanny really can't stop from interfering in our lives, yet again she is fretting that we are a nation of fat bastards.

Thus Nanny intends to issue fat bastard warnings on till receipts, as and when we buy products that she doesn't approve of.

The plans are currently being developed by Nanny's chums from Public Health England, which apparently works on ways to improve the nation’s health and deal with inequalities. Errmm, I thought we have an NHS that is meant to deal with health matters, why do we need a quango doubtless subsidised by the taxpayer?

Duncan Selbie, the Public Health England’s chief executive, said the warnings on till receipts were a way of using behavioural techniques to nudge people towards choosing more healthy eating outcomes.

He is quoted by the Telegraph:

“We need to find four or five big corporates that are relevant to people – so Sainsbury’s, Tesco, Lidl have millions of people on their databases – to reach people.

So let’s say I went to Tesco on Sunday and I got a till receipt and it said I bought various things, and it said you’ve saved £2.21. I think Sainsbury’s do the same thing.”

Selbie said that Public Health England was considering giving supermarkets its algorithms or mathematical codes for working out sugar and fat content in people's shopping baskets.

“What if we gave Sainsbury’s the algorithms that they could personalise to their customer database, so they give their customer base advice about how they could improve their health?

It doesn’t have to cost customers anything more, but it may help them make choices that are better for their health.”

Doubtless Nanny will start accessing the supermarkets' databases in order to "help" her design these algorithms.

I have a simple message for Nanny:

Fuck Off!

We are fed up with you sticking your nose into our lives.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries