Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Friday, April 28, 2017

Nanny Bans Whooping


I appreciate that some students do not have the brains that they were allegedly gifted with. However, even this piece of student fuckwittery has surprised me.

The Telegraph reports that students who whoop, cheer and clap should face “consequences” because they are excluding deaf people, delegates at the National Union of Students conference said.

Audience members were repeatedly warned that they must cease whooping to express support for a speaker, because it has a “serious impact” on the accessibility of the conference.

Delegates at the NUS annual conference in Brighton were encouraged to use “jazz hands” instead of clapping - where students wave their hands in the air - as this is deemed a more inclusive form of expression.

Estelle Hart, an NUS elections committee member who was chairing a session on Thursday, told students: “No whooping, it does have a serious impact on some delegates ability to access conference.”

For good measure Shelly Asquith, the NUS vice president for welfare, returned to the theme, telling delegates: “We’ve had a number of requests that people stop whooping”.

The Durham University student union proposed a motion at the conference that would see clapping and whooping banned at all future NUS events.

Two points:

1 Surely talking/speaking also "excludes" deaf people. Shall we ban that as well?

2 Jazz hands cannot be seen by the visually impaired, that should be banned too.

God help us is this is the quality of the generation destined to takeover in the coming years!


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Thursday, April 27, 2017

Eat More Cheese


Contrary to Nanny's current advice, and reminiscent of her advice some decades ago, it is now deemed good for you to eat more cheese.

The Telegraph reports that eating cheese could stop you from developing liver cancer and boost liver health, according to new research.

The study, from Texas A&M University, found that aged cheeses such as brie and cheddar have the potential of boosting life expectancy by up to 25 per cent.

This is because these cheeses contain a compound called 'spermidine', though to prevent liver fibrosis and 'hepatocellular carcinoma', the most common type of liver cancer.

I dare say in a few years time, scientists will discover that smoking is in fact good for you (as they believed in the 17th century).

Cheesus!

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Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Nanny's Genital Inspectors


UKIP has said schools should check girls from ‘high risk’ groups once a year and after they have been on holiday.

The party wrote in their Integration Agenda:
"Implement school-based medical checks on girls from groups at high risk of suffering FGM. These should take place annually and whenever they return from trips overseas."
FFS!

Such "inspections" would constitute abuse!

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Monday, April 24, 2017

Happy Speeding Fine Day!

Happy speeding fine day folks!

The BBC reports that today speeding fines have gone up.

Under new guidelines, fines for drivers caught doing 51mph in a 30mph zone or 101mph on a motorway will start from 150% of weekly income, rather than the previous level of 100%.
The Sentencing Council said it wanted a "clear increase in penalty" as the seriousness of offending increases.

The new Band C fines will allow the worst offenders to face fines of between 125 and 175% of their weekly income - with the starting point for magistrates in most cases set at 150%.

The maximum fine, however, remains the same, meaning a speeding driver cannot be fined more than £1,000 unless the offence takes place on a motorway, where the limit is £2,500.

A nice little earner for Nanny!

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Friday, April 21, 2017

Coming Soon - A Meat Tax!


According to some person writing in the Guardian:
"..the challenge is to persuade people in wealthy countries to eat less meat. That might seem a tall order, but governments have successfully persuaded people to quit smoking through a combination of public information, regulation and taxation."
Factoid alert, people still smoke!

Seemingly the rates should be 40% on beef and 8.5% on chicken according to one group of meat tax warriors, but another wants 40% on chicken and 28% on beef!

You couldn't make this up!

FFS, can't these people just crawl back to where they came from, and leave the rest of us in peace?

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Thursday, April 20, 2017

The Cyber-Men Are Coming!



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Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Meat Free Mondays at The BBC


My sympathy to Auntie's staff in Salford who have been recently banned from eating meat in the staff canteen on Mondays.

The Mail recently reported that BBC employees are fuming after their staff canteen banned meat from its menu on Mondays - with workers accusing the corporation of 'forcing its agenda' on them.

An internal message revealed 'meat free Mondays' will be introduced at the BBC North staff restaurant in Quay House in MediaCity, Salford.

The intranet memo says the change has been introduced for environmental and health reasons.

Ridiculous!

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Thursday, April 13, 2017

Baby Beer


It's never too early to teach kids to drink!

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Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Cars Are Murder Machines


My sympathies to the good people of Sweden (a country I once happily lived and worked in for a number of years) for the recent terror attack.

Whilst I appreciate that security and accessibility etc need to be addressed after such incidents, I am somewhat disturbed by the reaction from reputable columnist, Eva Franchell, writing for a large Swedish newspaper, Aftonbladet.

ZeroHedge have provided a summary of what she wrote:
"she calls “effective murder machines” — that Franchell says “must simply be removed from city centres and places where people gather, if people are to be protected in future”.

Vehicles are “easy to steal, and so nothing has been able to stop their advance”.
I concur that some action should be taken to reduce the risk in certain areas of similar attacks, eg anti ramming bollards protecting pedestrian only areas. I also am in favour of parts of cities being made pedestrian only, if nothing else it would reduce the noise and pollution and make city centres more pleasant areas to be in.

However, an all out ban simply isn't practical.

Meanwhile Karolina Skog, a Swedish politician who has been Minister for the Environment since 25 May 2016, went overboard:
“Cars are driven largely by men so by giving a lot of space to cars; we’re giving a lot of space to men — at the expense of women,”
Yes we need to review security arrangements, but hysterical responses such as this do no one any favours!
 

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Tuesday, April 11, 2017

A Dignified Death

The Guardian reports that a man has been granted his dying wish of a cigarette and a glass of white wine by staff at a hospital in Denmark.

According to a post on the hospital’s Facebook page, Carsten Flemming Hansen, 75, was found to be terminally ill after he was admitted to hospital with an aortic aneurysm and internal bleeding.
Predicting it would be a matter of hours or days before Hansen died, the hospital decided not to operate and instead granted the patient a “dignified” death.

The nurses at Aarhus University hospital decided to defy regulations that stipulated no smoking on the hospital’s grounds and wheeled Hansen out on to a balcony where he smoked a Green LA cigarette and drank a glass of cold white wine while watching the sunset with his family.

In its Facebook post, the hospital said the nurses in Hansen’s ward and his family agreed that in this situation, his last wishes were more important than treatment, prevention and smoking rules.

I wonder if British Nanny would do the same?

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Wednesday, April 05, 2017

Posh Crisps Cause Cancer


Seemingly posh crisps could cause cause cancer, a study by government-backed scientists has found, as they contain high levels of acrylamide, a known carcinogen.

The Telegraph reports that tests conducted by Fera Science on behalf of campaign group Changing Markets, found t he highest levels of the chemical were found in Tyrells "Sweet Potato Lightly Salted" crisps, which contained more than three times the recommended amount, according to European food standards.

According to EU benchmarks crisps should not contain more than 750 milligrams per kilogram of acrylamide. Despite this Tyrells "Sweet Potato Lightly Salted" crisps contain 2486 milligrams per kilogram.

The research also found Morrisons' "Cheese and Onion Popped Potato Snacks" and Aldi's premium brand "Passions Barbeque Flavour Popped Potato Chips" contained twice as much acrylamide than the recommended level.

Given we are leaving the EU, we can safely ignore their health warnings.

Failing that, if you are worried, simply resort to eating cheap crisps.

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Tuesday, April 04, 2017

Nanny Hates Cadbury's Great Easter Egg Hunt


Oh dear Nanny, Theresa May and Nanny's Church of England have got their collective knickers in a twist of Cadbury's Easter Egg hunt on National Trust properties.

Nanny is upset that the word "Easter" has been dropped from the event.

All very nice and twee, except that it hasn't been dropped. As you can see from the screen shots from Cadbury's website, the word "Easter" is mentioned several times even in the farking URL!







Maybe Nanny should get her facts right first, and focus on more pressing matters!

Oh, and by the way, eggs at Eater come from an Anglo Saxon legend which tells how the Saxon goddess Eostre found a wounded bird and transformed it into a hare, so that it could survive the Winter. The hare found it could lay eggs, so it decorated these each Spring and left them as offering to the goddess.

Easter was a pagan festival stolen by the christians!


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Monday, April 03, 2017

Booze Helps The Heart


My thanks to a loyal reader who pointed me to an article in RT about the benefits of booze.

Researchers at the University of Cambridge and University College London analysed data from almost 2 million people in the UK, and found that those who do not drink at all, or who drink heavy doses, are more likely to be affected by seven types of heart condition – including strokes and heart attacks – than moderate drinkers.

A biological reason for the findings, which were published in the British Medical Journal (BMJ), could be that alcohol reduces inflammation in people who drink moderately, while also boosting their ‘good’ cholesterol levels.

Drinks all round!

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Thursday, March 30, 2017

Oxford's New Portraits


Oxford University is revealing the identities of more than 20 people whose portraits will be put on display to try to "promote greater diversity".

It wants to redress the balance from the university's walls being lined with pictures of "dead white males" by adding more women and ethnic minorities.

Nothing wrong with that, and all perfectly laudable. However, couldn't they have found an ex alumni a little more inspiring than Esther Rantzen?

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Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Exactly How Stupid Are people?



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Wednesday, March 22, 2017

How To Beat Nanny's One Glass a Day Rule



Kudos to Jam Raquion, who lives in Ilocos Norte in the Philippines, who has stuck two fingers up to Nanny wrt Nanny's rules on drinking:
"That moment when your parents or doctor tell you to only drink a glass of soda, or wine, or beer, or any other booze a day, so you get a glass that could actually satisfy your needs."
Sorted!

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Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Nanny Hates Hot Chocolate


I see that the interfering busybodies from CASH (Consensus Action on Salt and Health) have found another food source, allegedly loaded with salt, to whine about.

This time it turns out that a mug of hot chocolate can have more salt than a packet of ready salted crisps, according to CASH.

Seemingly Galaxy Ultimate Marshmallow Hot Chocolate powder had just over 0.6g of salt per 25g serving - or 2.5g per 100g - more than the 0.15g per 100g target.

Mars Chocolate, quite rightly pointed out that the drink was an "indulgent treat". However, as the BBC notes, but Public Health England (jumping on the CASH coattails) said more work was needed.

A standard 32.5g packet of Walkers Ready Salted Crisps contains 0.46g of salt.

All very well. However, as I have noted many times before, if you are healthy, drink a good amount of liquid and are not sedentary your body will excrete any excess salt via sweat and urine.

That aside, simply add extra sugar to counteract the salt!

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Monday, March 20, 2017

What a Load of Shite!


My thanks to a loyal reader who sent me a link to this Twitter account End St Patrick's Day:
"The official twitter account for the coordinated effort to end St. Patrick's Day are raise awareness of the fact that it is a holiday based in white pride."
 What a load of shite!

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Health and Safety Training


How would you rescue this "gentleman" without risking splashback?

Proof, if ever it was needed, that we are dumbing down hour by hour!


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Thursday, March 16, 2017

Watch Out, There's A Thieving Git About!


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Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Big Brother's Vibrator


You have doubtless heard about the CIA tapping into Samsung TVs to spy on people, now it seems it is not just technically sophisticated gadgets such as TVs that are used to spy on you, but even the humble vibrator!

We-Vibe products (sex toys controlled via a smartphone app) have been spying on users, and sending data back to the product manufacturers.

The Telegraph reports that Canadian firm Standard Innovation, has agreed to pay C$4 million (£2.4 million) to members of the public who bought and used its We-Vibe products.

The firm, it was discovered, had been collecting data via the app, recording when customers had been using the sex toys, as well as information about the intensity of the vibration settings used. The data was collected without customers having been notified.

The court filing, made on behalf of two anonymous female We-Vibe users, said:
Unbeknownst to its customers … (Standard Innovation) designed We-Connect to collect and record highly intimate and sensitive data regarding consumers’ personal We-Vibe use, including the date and time of each use and the selected vibration settings, and transmit such usage data — along with the users’ personal email address — to its servers in Canada.
You have been warned!

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Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Stick and Flick Shit


Dog owners should adopt a "stick and flick" method instead of using shit bags, according to advice from the Forestry Commission.

Discarded plastic dog waste bags are an eyesore, the organisation says, and the best approach should a pet foul on a footpath is to find a stick and flick it into the undergrowth.

The guidance was highlighted by Conservative MP Anne Main.

Now this is all very well and good, so long as Nanny can now advise as to what constitutes the "countryside", lest Nanny's greedy councils start fining dog walkers for not bagging it!

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Monday, March 13, 2017

Losing Our Minds - Heseltine Nails It!


Those who look for offence in the words and deeds of others have had a wee field day courtesy of Lord Heseltine, and his comment about Theresa May having a "man-sized" job.

He quite rightly calls these people out for what they are (mad), as per the Telegraph:
"I think, if I may say so, I think we are losing our minds if we really think that in the most serious issue facing this country, a slip of an 83-year-old about using a phrase which everybody would have been using a few years ago is simply of anybody's interest."
If only these people had something useful to do with their lives, instead of looking for offence!

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Thursday, March 09, 2017

Prats of The Week - Cardiff Metropolitan University

Kudos to Cardiff Metropolitan University for winning Prats of The Week for their Orwellian diktat banning phrases such as “right-hand man” and “gentleman’s agreement” in favour of more inclusive, gender neutral language. 

Cardiff Metropolitan University’s revised code of practice states more appropriate terms should be used where possible, adding that students should not allow their “cultural background” to affect their choice of words on campus.

“Forefathers”, “mankind” and “sportsmanship” are also on the list of 34 words and phrases to be avoided as part of efforts to “embrace cultural diversity” by the university.

The Independent lists the banned phrases:

Cardiff Metropolitan University's Guide to Inclusive Language:

Term – Suggested alternative
"Best man for the job" – Best person for the job
"Businessman/woman" –  Businessperson, manager, executive
"Chairman/woman" – Chair, chairperson, convenor, head
"Charwoman, cleaning lady" – Cleaner
"Craftsman/woman" – Craftsperson, craft worker
"Delivery man" – Delivery clerk, courier
"Dear Sirs" – Dear Sir/Madam (or Madam/Sir)
"Fireman" – Fire-fighter
"Forefathers" – Ancestors, forebears
"Foreman/woman" – Supervisor, head juror
"Gentleman’s agreement" – Unwritten agreement, agreement based on trust
"Girls" (for adults) – Women
"Headmaster/mistress" – Head teacher
"Housewife" – Shopper, consumer, homemaker (depends on context)
"Layman" – Lay person
"Man" or "mankind" – Humanity, humankind, human race, people
"Man" (verb) eg man the desk – Operate, staff, work at
"Man in the street", "common man" – Average/ordinary/typical citizen/person – but is there such a person?
"Man-hour" – Work-hour, labour time
"Man-made" – Artificial, manufactured, synthetic
"Manpower" – Human resources, labour force, staff, personnel, workers, workforce
"Miss/Mrs" – Ms unless a specific preference has been stated – though its common not to use titles at all these days
"Policeman/woman" – Police Officer
"Right-hand man" – Chief assistant
"Salesman/girl/woman" – Sales assistant/agent/clerk/representative/staff/worker
"Spokesman/woman" – Spokesperson, representative
"Sportsmanship" – Fairmess, good humour, sense of fair play
"Steward/ess" – Airline staff, flight attendant, cabin crew
"Tax man" – Tax officer/inspector
"Waitress" – Waiter, server
"Woman doctor" (or feminine forms of nouns eg actress, poetess) – Doctor (actor, poet etc)
"Working man", "working mother/wife" – Wage-earner/taxpayer/worker
"Workman" – Worker/operative/trades person
"Workmanlike" – Efficient/proficient/skillful/thorough

Good to see the "university" focusing on what is really important!

Cardiff Metropolitan University, well deserving Prats of The Week!

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Wednesday, March 08, 2017

The Brexit Blog



Just to give you all a heads up, I have added another site to my collection - "The Brexit Blog" covering news and comment on the Brexit process, as Britain leaves the EU.

I suspect it will run and run!

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Tuesday, March 07, 2017

Queen Breaches Health and Safety Rules




An elderly woman riding a horse, without wearing a helmet!

What would nanny say?

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Monday, March 06, 2017

Nanny's Rural Road - The Dartford Crossing



Funny how this "misclassification" caused it to be excluded from pollution assessments!

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Thursday, March 02, 2017

Nanny's Nice Little Earner - Bus Lane CCTV


As loyal readers know, Nanny is strapped for cash. As such she is always looking for ways to tap her minions for more money.

One such mechanism is that of bus lane cameras being used to fine motorists.

The Telegraph reports that Nanny's bus lane cameras in England took 31m from motorists in 2015-16, fining almost 4,000 motorists per day.

The most lucrative camera in the country makes £6,000 every day.

The worst 10 cameras for catching drivers are centred in Newcastle-upon-Tyne, Manchester and London.
England's most lucrative bus lane is on the northbound section of John Dobson Street. It is based in Newcastle-upon-Tyne, a council that made over £1m from bus lane fines in 2015/16.

A nice little earner!

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Wednesday, March 01, 2017

Stop This Kind of Thing!


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Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Prats of The Week - Geoplace

Kudos to Geoplace (a local government quango that oversees the official database of addresses used by councils and emergency services) for winning my prestigious Prats of The Week Award.

For why have they been thusly honoured?

Geoplace have told councils that streets should no longer be named after local heroes - including fallen soldiers - in case they are later linked to "inappropriate activities".

The edict comes after hundreds of streets, footpaths and plaques named after Jimmy Savile had to be altered when he was exposed as a child abuser.

Nanny's chums in the Local Government Association have defended the decision, arguing it would save taxpayers' money in the future.


The idea is of course utter bollocks, as it would mean that streets can never be named after anyone ever again.

Also, for good measure, councils have also been asked to ban the word “the” from all new place names on the grounds that it  causes confusion and lengthy delays for the emergency services.

Geoplace, well deserving Prats of The Week!

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Monday, February 27, 2017

How To Be Offended By Everything



Make everything about yourself, even when it has nothing to do with you!

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Thursday, February 23, 2017

Lord Carlile Asks Where Fiddler's £1M Went

It seems that I am not alone in asking, as I did yesterday, as to where Fiddler's £1m went. Lord Carlile is also asking the same!

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Ten A Day - Nanny Doubles Down

As loyal readers know, Nanny's "eat five a day" mantra has been widely derided. Not least, because it transpired that the five portion advice was simply plucked from the air.

Anyhoo, taking a leaf from Donald Trump's book and doubling down when a lie/exaggeration is exposed, Nanny's chums from Imperial College have now stated that we should not be eating five a day but ten a day.

Allegedly this will stave off cancer, strokes, heart attacks and early death.

Ten portions are quantified as 800g.

Those of you who want to try this out can achieve Nanny's goal by increasing your intake of chips!

I dare say in a year or so Nanny will be advising us to eat twenty portions.

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Wednesday, February 22, 2017

What Happened To Ronald Fiddler's £1M?

I see that, quite rightly, people are more than a little pissed off that suicide bomber Ronald Fiddler was released from "Gitmo" in 2004 after assurances as to his innocence from Middle East paid "expert" and champion of the EU Tony Blair.

To add salt to the wounds Nanny, at the time, paid Fiddler £1m compensation.

Now the question that needs answering is this, before Fiddler went and blew himself up what did he do with the money?

Did he spend it on fancy clothes, cars, booze?

Unlikely I think.

More probably most, or all of it, went to ISIS.

That being the case, Nanny is guilty of funding terrorism.

Fiddler's financial transactions since the receipt of the money need to be gone through with a fine tooth comb.


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Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Vanuatu Nanny Bans Sugary Food and Drink

My sympathies to the good people of Vanuatu who are about to lose access to "unhealthy" food and drink.

For why?

It seems that local Nanny feels that such items, imported from outside, are responsible for the population's obesity and diabetes "epidemic".

As such foods and drinks deemed evil will be banned from government offices and tourist villas.

One small point, the population of Vanuatu have always had a propensity to be generously proportioned and prone to diabetes, long before imported shit ever hit their shores!

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Monday, February 20, 2017

Appearances Can Be Deceptive



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Friday, February 17, 2017

Nanny Hates Formula Milk

Don't feed your baby formula milk, because if you do Nanny will steal your baby and lie to the family court claiming you gave the baby away!

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Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Restaurant Offers Discount For Well Behaved Kids


The Evening Standard has rather an amusing story about a restaurant in Italy that offers discounts for diners with well behaved kids.


Antonio Ferrari, who owns a restaurant in Padua, said he was fed up of ill-mannered children ruining the atmosphere.

He told the Times he decided to introduce a five per cent discount for “polite children” after witnessing countless instances of kids behaving badly.

He told the paper: “We are not set up for kids we have no crèche, the spaces are tight, bottles can be knocked over and we have a clientele that spends a bit of money to be tranquil while eating well. 

I have seen five-year-olds put their feet on the table and four-year-olds jumping from chair to chair, while parents do nothing. 

“And when I complain the parents tell me 'My children can do what they want'."

Mr Ferrari said he introduced the discount six months ago and in that time has only given it to three families.

It “shows how rare good behaviour is”, he added.

An excellent idea, one that should be copied by restaurants everywhere!

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Thursday, February 09, 2017

Snow Bomb Alert!


Oh dear the mercury drops a wee bit and Nanny, her chums in the various health agencies and the media all hyperventilate about an allegedly oncoming bit of chilly weather.

Apparently, we will all die of hypothermia and a "snow bomb" (whatever that is?) is on its way!

Well I am old enough to remember the "thunder snow" debacle of January, half an hours sleet and that was it!

Just dress warm if you are feeling a tad cold, and have some hot soup!

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Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

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Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries