Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Wednesday, December 21, 2022

Nanny's Christmas Message

 


Don't travel!

Don't have an accident!

Don't get ill!

Remember folks, your taxes pay for a non functioning state sector.


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Friday, December 02, 2022

Nanny Admits Lockdowns Were Wrong



Nanny was repeatedly warned that lockdowns would damage the economy, people's mental and physical health and education.

Nanny was repeatedly asked if a cost benefit analysis had been performed.

She ignored all the warnings, and now we are paying the price!


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Tuesday, November 29, 2022

ITV Rewrites History

 

For reasons best know to itself, ITV has decided that the last two world wars were caused by white upper class dinosaurs.

Well the last time I checked, the First World War was caused by the aggression of the Kaiser and the Second was down to Hitler.

Whilst both were white, neither went to Eton and Hitler most certainly was not upper class.


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Monday, November 28, 2022

BBC Hypocrisy Alert


 

Dear old Auntie is getting her knickers in a twist over the zero covid crackdown and protests in China.

Auntie is, quite correctly, reporting on the protests there and the heavy handed treatment by the regime of protesters. Auntie also notes, quite correctly, that the policy of zero covid (and lockdowns) don't work.

How "ironic" is it not that when the UK had its lockdowns, Auntie sought to downplay protests in the UK and criticised those who did protest?


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Monday, November 21, 2022

Virtue Signalling Has Its Limits - England Won't OneLove


 

Evidently Gianni Infantino wasn't as gay as he pretended to be!


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Thursday, November 10, 2022

COPCON27 - Plebs Banned From Flying


 

As you can see, private planes and those who are wealthy/powerful don't damage the environment when they fly.

Only the plebs like us damage the environment, as such we will not be allowed to fly!


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Tuesday, November 08, 2022

SAGE WANKERS!


It was SAGE's bleating for lockdowns that fucked the economy and people's mental health.

Now they would have people freeze this winter.

WANKERS!

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Monday, November 07, 2022

COPCON27


 

The great panjandrum starts today in Egypt, where virtue signalling private plane owners with multiple homes rub shoulders with each other and lecture the rest of us about how we must cut back and send more of our money to eg nuclear armed states (Pakistan).


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Tuesday, October 04, 2022

Nurse Ratched Will Kill You if You Don't Vote The Right Way


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Thursday, September 22, 2022

Nanny Imprisons Tall People


 

This has got to be the daftest edict from Nanny yet!


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Wednesday, September 07, 2022

EU Nanny Flattening Another Curve!


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Friday, September 02, 2022

The BBC's 48 Year Long Climate Change Obsession

 



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Thursday, August 25, 2022

Rishi Finally Gets It!

Pity it has taken him two years to finally agree with what I was saying!



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Thursday, August 18, 2022

Booze Boosts The Economy


 


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Wednesday, August 17, 2022

Covid Nanny is Taking The Piss


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Tuesday, August 16, 2022

The Media Are Scaremongering Bastards


 

Remember folks, as you watch the rain today, it's the "wrong sort of rain" according to our beloved media.

The media will not be happy until they have scared us all to death; whether it is covid, monkey pox, drought, the wrong sort of rain, energy bills etc etc. 

If you want to improve the quality of your lives, stop watching the news and reading the papers!


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Friday, August 12, 2022

Ofgem's Real Priorities!


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Wednesday, August 03, 2022

Genuflections To Be Stopped in Time for Qatar

 


 

There's IRONY for you!


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Monday, August 01, 2022

BBC Rains of The Lionesses' Parade


 

In fairness many people no longer identify with the BBC!


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Thursday, July 28, 2022

Brighton Council In The Shite


 

Despite being a holiday destination, despite next week's Pride (when around 400k people are expected to descend) and despite wanting to host next year's Eurovision, Brighton Council refuse to do anything about the appalling lack of open/functioning public toilets on the seafront.

Many weeks into the summer and the public toilets east of Brighton Pier generally remain closed.

On the occasions when they are open they are filthy, have no toilet paper or soap. Seafront traders and tourists have complained daily to the council, but to no avail (eg see this Facebook group).

The council sits on its hands in the hope that the problem will simply go away of its own accord, and that people will be bored complaining about it. 

The irony is that the council took over responsibility for running the toilets last year, and from then on it was downhill all the way!

As I have noted before, councils are worse than worthless!

Yesterday, 6:08 PM
Yesterday, 6:09 PM
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Friday, July 22, 2022

Nanny's Plot Twist - It's No Big Deal When a 79 Year Old Gets Covid


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Wednesday, July 20, 2022

Always Listen To The Experts!


Thankfully the Goblin of Doom wasn't around in the 70's to save us from the ice age!

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Tuesday, July 12, 2022

Go Green - Go Broke!


 

The religion of net zero will wreck many more economies before people realise it is simply hot air!


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Friday, July 01, 2022

Lazarus Rises From The Dead - Recovered From Man Flu


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Tuesday, June 28, 2022

Welsh Nanny To Ban Tea and Coffee for Under 16s


 

Under 16s in Wales could be banned from buying tea and coffee as part of options being considered by Welsh Nanny in an effort to make young people healthier and stop rising obesity rates.

There are concerns that the rising consumption of high-caffeine energy drinks is affecting students' educations.Now, the Welsh Government has confirmed that the consultation on the proposal to end sales of energy drinks to children also asks whether the plan "should be widened to consider other drinks typically high in caffeine such as tea and coffee". 

I think Welsh Nanny needs to lie down in a dark room with a wet towel over her head!


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Thursday, June 16, 2022

Nanny WHO Bans Monkeypox


 

The corrupt Chinese controlled international fake health organisation (aka WHO) is very worried about Monkeypox.

Not the disease itself, but the name.

Apparently the name is racist, as such they are looking for suggestions for a new one.

Feel free to oblige them!


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Monday, June 13, 2022

Animals Make Better Parents Than Some Humans

 


As per The Times:

"Children are arriving at school unable to say their own names or drink from cups, The Times Education Commission’s final report will reveal this week.

It will call for a kind of “five-a-day” initiative to encourage parents to talk to and play with their children, similar to the healthy eating campaign.

The year-long inquiry into the state of education in the UK, which heard evidence from dozens of experts, publishes its final report on Wednesday. It exposes the inequality within schools and calls for a laser-like focus on education, particularly in the early years.

A head teacher from Nottinghamshire said that her school spent little time on literacy or numeracy in reception because it had to focus on basic care. Some four and five-year-old children joined reception class unable to say their own names and having drunk only from baby bottles. One child was brought to school in a shopping trolley.

She told the commission: “We’ve got about 50 per cent of the children in reception and nursery who are not toilet-trained. We have to employ care workers just to change nappies. We’ve got children who are still drinking from bottles with teats when they start school. They are four years old and their language will include the word ‘bot-bot’, because that’s their communication for ‘Can I have a drink please?’"

A kitten of a few weeks will use a litter tray, wash itself and be able to feed itself!

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Friday, May 27, 2022

Advice To The Bleeding Hearts Media


 

When you want to try to convince your viewer that Nanny is causing abject starvation and poverty, don't interview obese people who wear expensive Fitbits and own the latest mobile phones.


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Tuesday, May 24, 2022

Eat Bananas To Avoid Monkeypox

 


Nanny's hopeless and hapless NHS is getting itself into a tizzy over monkeypox.

 It is advising thusly on its website:

“It may also be possible to catch monkeypox by eating meat from an infected animal that has not been cooked thoroughly, or by touching other products from infected animals (such as animal skin or fur).” 

Hence I suggest you eat more bananas to avoid monkeypox!


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Tuesday, May 10, 2022

Queen's Speech To Kill EU's Cookie Monster?


 

It is expected that the Queen's speech today will finally outline plans to end that most despised of regulations, namely the EU's cookie pop-up banners reminding users that websites will use cookies to store information about them.

The Queen’s speech will contain an explicit promise to end the annoying, time-wasting requirement for cookie box-ticking via the new Data Reform Bill.


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Thursday, April 21, 2022

Lockdowns Prime Suspect re Rise In Childrens' Acute Liver Disease


 

Less social mixing due to two years of covid restrictions may be a factor in an “unusual” and serious outbreak of acute liver disease among young children, scientists believe.

A total of 74 children in the UK, mostly under the age of five, have contracted a version of acute hepatitis which is not linked to normal strains of the disease, while dozens of cases have now been identified in the US, Europe and Israel. Six children in the UK have required liver transplant.

The UK Health Security Agency is expected to announce more cases shortly.

One line of inquiry by experts is a link to adenovirus, a common cold virus which can cause more serious symptoms including gastrointestinal illness in young children.

Cases of adenovirus in children were far lower than normal in 2020 and remained below the average in 2021, and experts believe it is “possible” that the lack of exposure to the virus in infants due to lockdown may have lowered their immunity, meaning they are suffering worse effects now that restrictions are lifted. 

The more you stop people from mixing, the weaker their immune systems become.

Lockdowns have caused more harm than good!


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Tuesday, April 19, 2022

Cornish Councils Yearn for The Past - They Want Masks Back

 


Nanny's chums in Cornwall are yearning for the past, and over the Easter weekend have been advising holidaymakers to wear face coverings or Covid masks, as well as suggesting to continue to social distance.

Meanwhile, in the 21st century, the federal government in the USA said Monday passengers traveling on airplanes and other forms of public transportation won't be required to wear a face mask for now after a federal judge in Florida voided the mandate.

The decision Monday by U.S. District Judge Kathryn Kimball Mizelle in Tampa says the federal mask mandate exceeded the authority of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, which failed to justify the order and didn't follow proper rulemaking procedures.

 Suffice to say, passengers and airline staff were overjoyed!

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Thursday, March 31, 2022

Nanny Bans Staring


Just how the blinking flip will this be enforced then?

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Thursday, March 24, 2022

Nanny To Ban Tulse Hill?


 

Nanny is threatening to rename the south London district of Tulse Hill because of its namesake’s links to the slave trade.

A survey by Lambeth council asked residents their views on the names of streets and the area itself as part of a community listening exercise.

It comes in the wake of Nanny Khan’s pledge to hand Londoners £25,000 to decolonise their areas.

Lambeth has begun a review of the borough and streets including Vassal Road, Holland Grove, Foxley Road and Foxley Square and Lord Holland Lane, The Daily Telegraph reported.

The area’s name is derived from Sir Henry Tulse who was lord mayor of London and he was the descendant of the Tulse family whose wealth come from the slave trade.

Wait 'til they hear that London was named by the Romans (who ran an entire empire with slaves)!

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Tuesday, March 15, 2022

Nanny Decimated The Travel Industry - For Nothing!


 

Nanny is finally withdrawing her absurd travel restrictions.

Whilst this is good news, it should be remembered that these restrictions barely affected the spread of Covid but managed to all but destroy the travel industry.

Paul Charles, chief executive of travel consultancy The PC Agency, said:

The ill thought-through, shambles of government policies created enormous financial and emotional distress for consumers; set back travel firms by years; led to heart attacks and suicides among some distraught employees and directors; and left the UK as a laughing stock on the world stage.

Frankly, ministers achieved nothing apart from crippling the travel and tourism sector, and reducing our aviation sector to a shadow of its former self.

As ever when Nanny interferes with people's lives, she makes things worse!


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Wednesday, March 09, 2022

Nanny Sturgeon Apologises To Witches From the 16th Century


 

Nicola Sturgeon has offered a formal apology to people accused of witchcraft between the 16th and 18th centuries, many of whom were executed.

I am sure they are delighted!

 
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Tuesday, March 01, 2022

Fake SAGE Opines on The Ukraine War


 

Is it any wonder that Putin thinks that the West is a pushover?


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Wednesday, February 23, 2022

Nanny Displays a Rare Degree of Common Sense


 

Nanny, in a rare display of common sense, is considering plans for a minimum entry requirement for university. Students without English and maths GCSEs, or two grade Es at A-level, would not be able to attend university in England.

Suffice to say universities are bleating that this caps aspirations and is bad for individuals, the economy and society.

The universities are wrong, if you do not have a basic grasp of the "three Rs" how the hell can you cope and prosper (academically and intellectually) in university?


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Tuesday, February 22, 2022

Nanny Axes Covid Restrictions

"We are moving away from legal compulsion to personal responsibility."

 
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Thursday, February 17, 2022

Richard Kelly Nails It!


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Wednesday, February 16, 2022

Nanny's Non Jobs in The NHS - Your Taxes Pay for This!


 


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Monday, February 14, 2022

Everything is Racist - Allegedly!

 


On today's list of things that are racist, courtesy of Labour and The Guardian, please add:

1 Utility bills, and

2 The NHS

Shall we abolish them then?


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Friday, February 11, 2022

Auntie Loves Perspex!


 

Totally useless, and totally pathetic!

This sums the BBC up!


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Thursday, February 10, 2022

Nanny To Remove Remaining COVID Restrictions

 

Nanny Johnson has announced that all remaining COVID restrictions will be removed by 24 February.

This is a necessary and welcome step forward, as we cannot live forever under restrictions that provide zero benefit but negatively impact the economy and people's mental health.

This announcement also has the added benefit of winding up all the right people!

 


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Tuesday, February 08, 2022

Nanny Has Never Heard of VPN


 

Nanny will decree that all websites that display pornography will have to comply with Nanny's new content moderation legislation. 

It won’t just be user-generated content platforms like Twitter and Facebook that will have to comply with a new legal duty of care, commercial porn sites will also have to take action (such as using age verification technology) to stop children from accessing explicit material.

Factoid: VPN will negate the effectiveness of these checks.


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Monday, February 07, 2022

Everything Causes Heart Attacks - Apparently!

This, ladies and gentlemen, is why no one listens to health "experts" and the media!


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Friday, February 04, 2022

Advice To Wee Nippy


 

Don't saw the bottoms off classroom doors, simply open them.

That will save time and money!

You're welcome!


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Tuesday, January 25, 2022

Knob Throwing Cancelled Due To Size Issues

 


A "knob-throwing" contest has been cancelled because it has become too popular to run, it has been announced.

Held in Cattistock, the Dorset Knob Throwing event, which runs alongside The Frome Valley Food Festival, had been set to go ahead on 1 May.

The event sees people hurl the county's traditional knob biscuits down a field.

Organisers said due to the 2019 event attracting over 8,000 people, it had "reached such a size that it cannot be run by a small village committee."

Size matters!


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