Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Prats of The Week - ASA

Prats of The WeekA wet wind ridden "spring" day, tis time for another "Prats of The Week" Award.

This time it goes to the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) for their daft decision to ban the TV advert for Premier Inns, in which Lenny Henry parodies "The Shining", from kids' TV.

For why did they ban it?

A staggering 8 people, with nothing better to do in their lives, complained about the advert on the grounds that some kids might be frightened.

Gosh, wouldn't that also mean the banning of many other TV programmes eg Dr Who?

ASA said:

"We also considered that, because young children would not understand the ad's reference to The Shining, they would be unlikely to appreciate the comic context in which the menacing Lenny appeared, and could find him threatening."

Premier Inn are actually rather baffled as to why an advert for their hotel rooms was even being shown on kids' TV.

ASA, well deserving Prats of The Week!

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Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Oh Mr Porter


It never ceases to amaze me how jobsworths blindly follow rules when they can see that a common sense solution, that would save time and trouble for all, would be to ignore the rules under certain circumstances.

Donatella Coppini, who suffers from a spinal condition which means she has to use sticks to walk, found this to her cost recently when she was rushed to Southend A&E with back pains.

Ms Coppini arrived in the hospital car park with her partner, and asked staff if they could help her move the 200 yards into the hospital.

Unfortunately health and safety regulations meant that the staff they asked said no. Ms Coppini was told to ring 999 and summon an ambulance.

Read that bit again...they were in a hospital car park, and were talking to hospital staff.

Seemingly this is standard procedure!

It just sounds daft to me.

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Monday, March 29, 2010

Prats of The Week - Sainsburys

Prats of The WeekTis a grey and damp Monday morning.

Tis time methinks to award my prestigious, and internationally renowned, "Prats of The Week" Award.

My thanks to a loyal reader who wishes to nominate Sainsburys, Forest Hill.

For why?

Well, he was looking through a recent receipt from the branch only to see that he is required to have an age check done for "non-alcoholic" lager.

Editor's note: He has profusely apologised to me and all the loyal readers of Nanny Knows Best for purchasing such a product, and says it will never happen again:)

Anyhoo, as he notes, the idea of asking for proof of age to buy a non alcoholic brew seems to be counter intuitive (most especially given Nanny's hatred of booze).

Sainsburys Forest Hill, well deserving Prats of The Week!

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Friday, March 26, 2010

Power Corrupts - HMRC



HMRC are to be given powers to secretly open people's private mail.

Read more here HMRC Is Shite.

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Oh So Swedish

A Dream of Sweden
Sorry folks, this is a shameless advert on behalf of my partner Eva.

She is setting up a modest Swedish arts and handicrafts business, details of which can be found on her website www.ohsoswedish.com.

If anyone is in the Brighton area this Saturday or Sunday, she will be attending the Brighton Marina Market where she will have a stall selling Swedish arts and handicrafts (some of her own creation), including Swedish Easter Twigs.

Advert ends

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Thursday, March 25, 2010

Physician Heal Thyself

Healing Hands
Oh dear, I see that a bunch of doctors have decided to have a go at smokers again.

The Royal College of Physicians (RCP), using Nanny's "child centric" policy as the excuse, wants smoking to be banned in all cars as well as in public places where young people congregate.

RCP claims that passive smoking results in 300,000 extra child visits to GPs in the UK every year, for problems such as asthma and bacterial meningitis.

Irrespective of whether a child is anywhere near a smoker or not, the RCP wants also to ban anyone smoking in a vehicle (even if only the smoker is present).

The RCP wants children to be protected from not just "passive smoke", but also the sight of adults smoking.

Parks, outdoor swimming pools and school gate areas would also be on the banned areas list.

Sad to see that doctors are so keen to interfere in the private lives of others, given that the medical profession is more than prone to abuse its bodies (obesity, booze, fags and other narcotics) more than other sectors of the community.

Once Nanny has banned smoking, on the pretext of "child protection", she will ban drink then fatty foods. After all, these days almost anything that Nanny claims may "harm" children (eg obesity, drinking etc) can be viewed as "child abuse".

Like it or not human beings enjoy abusing their bodies from time time (eg via drinking and smoking), it's how we get through our time on this spinning rock in space without going completely mad.

I would venture to suggest that if doctors are so keen to reduce the number of "wheezing" kids, they may care also to tell the kids' parents to give up their cars (thus reducing the pollution in the atmosphere) and make them walk a bit more.

Better still, why not solve this problem once and for all and ban kids from being around adults?

Problem solved!

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Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Prats of The Week - Teignbridge District Council II

Prats of The WeekThe other week I awarded Teignbridge District Council my coveted, and internationally renowned, "Prats of The Week" Award for their plans to:

"scrap free car parking at its Newton Abbot headquarters.

For why?

They want to charge their staff who own cars made before January 2001, more than staff with newer cars.

For why?

Older cars are evil, because they pollute the atmosphere more.

How much will the charges be?

£1 a day for older cars, 50p a day for newer cars.

Ker farking ching!
"

I must now inform you that a member of the council has written to me, and is very concerned to correct this story.

These were only "plans", following consultation "staff at Teignbridge put forward some alternative ideas about the charges which councillors accepted" (ie furore from the council staff) the "plans" have been changed.

I might point out that my original article did in fact say "it is proposing to scrap free car parking..".

Which it indeed has done.

However, since it seems so important to Teignbridge I won't pick noses on this point.

There will not be a differential charge between new and old cars, all cars will be charged at a rate of 50P a day (except for electric and hybrid cars, which are free).

So that's all right then?

The council is charging its own workers for the right to park in the council car park.

Ker Farking Ching!

I am surprised that the staff have rolled over and taken this.

Maybe, now that we have heard the council's view, the staff would care to comment?

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Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Pussycat Pussycat


Ding dong dell

Pussy didn't kill


There have been some very shouty headlines in the media (paper, TV and radio) over the past few weeks wrt the "legal high" drug Mephedrone (aka "Miaow Miaow").

Despite the fact that the toxicology reports have yet to come in, the media is absolutely one hundred percent certain that the drug was 100% responsible for the recent deaths of a handful of young people.

Dog whistle politicians have also been keen to get in on the "shouting", and have combined with the shouty media to call for a ban on the drug.

The fact that there is strong circumstantial evidence (yet to be confirmed by toxicology tests) that other substances were also being taken by these people with Miaow Miaow is being ignored by the media and the dog whistle politicians.

Nanny hates facts to impede a good "action headline" such as "government bans drug".

The actuality is as follows:

1 Until the toxicology reports are in, no one actually knows what caused the deaths of these people.

2 Ban this drug and the chemists will simply create a similar one with a slightly different chemical structure, that will be legal.

3 Prohibition created a large criminal industry in the USA in the 1920's. Banning drugs, as we currently do, has created a wealthy, powerful, vicious criminal community. Legalise drugs and you chop the legs off this community in one fell swoop.

4 The semi civil war in Mexico over drugs, that is now spilling over into the USA, will eventually force legislators there to legalise drugs in order to cut the legs off the criminal drugs lords who are destroying the country.

5 Leading politicians on both sides of the Atlantic have admitted to, or have almost admitted to, taking a variety on illegal substances. yet they have managed to lead fulfilling, non self destructive lives. How is they seek to maintain a ban on substances that they have taken?

6 Drugs finance terrorist economies, eg Afghanistan. Legalise drugs and the terrorist economy is decapitated.

Liverpool's John Moores University has now incurred the wrath of the shouty media and Nanny by allowing 50 students to take Miaow Miaow as part of an experiment to see the effects.

Needless to say, Nanny (having made up her mind already) has (in the shape of Liberal Democrat MP John Pugh, who represents Southport, Merseyside) branded this to be "highly irresponsible".

How can this man be so certain of his view, if the drug is not tested?

One thing is for certain, the enormous amount of publicity that the media and dog whistle politicians have kicked up over this drug has ensured that an awful lot more people will be trying it this weekend.

Tell people that something is "naughty" or "wrong" and they will want to try it, especially if you threaten to ban it.

Nanny's drug current policy is causing more problems than it is solving.

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Monday, March 22, 2010

Drink Matters!



Tis a Monday morning, and the wheel of life strafes my buttocks with a vengeance. Time to see what nugget of Nannyism I can deride today.

Let me see...oh yes..

Dear oh dear, universities certainly seem to have become somewhat prissy since I was a lad.

The University of Glasgow, once a proud bastion of the drinking classes, has had an attack of Nannyism and suspended a programme on its student radio station Subcity, and removed details of the show from the station's website.

For why?

Well it seems that the last edition of "Party Party" (that might give you a clue as to the subject matter), which was transmitted between 2100 and 2200 GMT on Sunday night the other week, involved a very "lively" discussion about drink.

It seems that the presenters claimed to be drinking a litre of tequila, swore (surely not!) and explicitly discussed sexual activities.

The presenters did manage to promote (once) the "responsible drinking" website Drinkaware. However, they then went on to encourage listeners to drink a shot of spirits for every tune they played.

Yawn!

Been there, seen it, done it!

We (students of Edinburgh) used to play a game watching the Alec Guinness film "Tunes of Glory", everytime someone in the film had a drink (and they did very frequently!) we had to have a shot of whisky.

The university, having completely lost its sense of humour, said that:

"If the contents of this particular programme are found to have breached the station's code, disciplinary action will be taken."

Tim Dye, chair of the Student Radio Association, said:

"Unfortunately when you give creativity and freedom to some people they run off with it."

Sounds to me as though he wants to limit people's freedom?

People are also free to turn off their internet radios if they don't like the show.

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Friday, March 19, 2010

Train Spies



My sympathies to Tom Shaw, a musician with the band the Magic Mushrooms, who had the misfortune to be travelling by South West Trains the other day.

Mr Shaw was writing a list of song titles which his band would play at a forthcoming gig. Included in the list was a band name The Killers and song titles Take Me Out and Cigarettes and Alcohol.

Oooh!!

Can you guess what happened next loyal readers?

Yes, that's right, two members of the train company's security staff approached Mr Shaw and asked him to leave the train at Fareham railway station. In the eyes of "security" Mr Shaw had been behaving "suspiciously".

Once out of the train, Mr Shaw was asked to show them the piece of paper that he had been writing on.

The "security" staff then made Mr Shaw explain song by song what the list was about.

It seems that there was something of a security flap on at the time, thus "justifying" the approach by "security", a number of arrests had been made in the area including a man who had murdered his wife.

A South West Trains spokeswoman gave this remarkably unsettling and worrying quote to MSN:

"We employ a team of highly professional rail community officers who work closely with the British Transport Police in protecting the security of passengers on the rail network. During a routine high-visibility patrol back in early March, they talked with a passenger on the platform at Fareham station.

The team clarified the nature of the individual's business, were satisfied with his explanation and the man went on his way.

We would like to thank the passenger for his co-operation and understanding of the need to be vigilant in the current environment
."

"to be vigilant in the current environment"!!

What the hell is going on in these people's minds?

Is this to be the excuse used by jobsworths and train companies etc for every infringement of our personal freedoms?

I find this to be highly alarming!

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Thursday, March 18, 2010

Role Reversal

PlodI was amused to read a wee while ago that police officers in Cheshire are going to pose as burglars, in a bid to get householders to properly secure their homes.

Operation Golden will see police officers wake people in the middle of the night by trying windows and doors.

Residents who fail the police breaking and entering test will be woken to receive a lecture from officers on what they could have lost.

Oh yes, this will work!

What could possibly go wrong with this "brilliant" scheme???

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Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Currying Favour

PlodMy sympathies to Sal Miah, owner of the Raj Poot restaurant in Crowborough, who tried to do his bit as an honest citizen recently.

You no doubt are aware that politicians and some police are bemoaning the fact that citizens do not stand up for themselves more, when confronted with criminal activity.

These politicians and police argue that we have the right to use reasonable measures to protect ourselves and our property when confronted with criminal behaviour.

OK then!

That is exactly what Mr Miah did when he caught two teenage yobs who broke into his storeroom.

He chased them into a park, and then brought them back to the restaurant while he waited for the police.

While he waited a group of the boys' friends gathered outside the restaurant, which was filled with 50 diners, and started swearing and kicking the door.

Mr Miah went outside to try and talk to them, and with one hand pushed a couple of them away from the door.

Can you guess what happened next loyal readers?

Yes, that's right, when the police arrived they arrested Mr Miah on allegations of assault.

The fact that there were 50 witnesses in the restaurant was ignored by the police, the police attached more credibility to the views of the yobs.

Mr Miah was taken to Uckfield police station where his DNA and fingerprints were taken, and he was held in the cells before being cautioned for assault.

Now, after some media "hoo hah", the police (trying to "curry favour") have apologised to Mr Miah.

His caution for common assault has been revoked. However, as to whether his DNA and fingerprints have been removed from the database is another matter.

Wealden District commander chief inspector Julia Pope said:

"Two incidents at the restaurant, the assault and burglary, were wrongly dealt with in isolation.

They have been reviewed and it is believed that the man arrested had used reasonable force at the time. I have personally apologised to Mr Miah.

It was right for us to investigate the incident but, given all the circumstances, it was incorrect to caution him as he had used reasonable force. I have revoked the caution that was given at the time
."

For good measure Ch Insp Pope added that Sussex Police is "firmly on the side of victims of crime".

That's not how this looks from where I am sitting.

She added:

"Anyone can make a citizen's arrest. Mr Miah did just this and used force in order to protect his property and himself.

It was unfortunate that on this occasion there was misunderstanding and the burglary and the assault were dealt with in isolation.

As a result we did not provide him with the service we would have like to
."

Absolutely pathetic!

There is no way any sensible person would put themselves at risk, by making a citizen's arrest, from either the violence of the criminal or the boneheadedness of the police.

Politicians and police who call for greater citizen involvement should first take a look at the reality on the ground.

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Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Cry Freedom


I am pleased to see that Nick Hogan, the pub landlord from Bolton who was jailed for "fag offences", has been freed 11 days into his six month sentence.

For why?

Bloggers had promoted his cause and raised over £10K, enough to pay off Nanny's fine.

This of course will give Nanny an idea as to how to screw us for even more money. Issue fines to activists, and wait for their supporters to bail them out.

Ker Farking Ching!

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Monday, March 15, 2010

The Dangers of Cheese



I am sad to read the news, but not surprised (in fact more surprised that Nanny hasn't stopped this event before), that the Cooper's Hill annual cheese rolling event has been cancelled.

For why?

Health and safety!

Seemingly Nanny is worried about the number of people that turn up to the event.

Isn't it odd how dictatorships and Nanny both hate people congregating in groups?

Anyhoo, the local police and council didn't like the idea that 15,000 people may turn up (as they did last year), and so the event has been cancelled.

Cheese rolling had, until Nanny came along, been staged at Cooper's Hill for around 400 years.

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Friday, March 12, 2010

Drink Matters!


I see that Nanny is getting rather excised over the amount of booze that "fat" people drink and is pondering reducing the "safe" number of units of booze that she deems to be appropriate for "fat" people to drink.

Her thinking being that "fat" people are already at high risk from liver disease etc, therefore they should not be allowed to drink as much as "norms" lest they increase their risk of illness.

All very well in a dictatorship. However, in theory, we still live in a democracy. Therefore "fat" people can drink as much or as little as they so choose.

I would also note that Nanny's "safe units" are widely regarded as bollocks, because no one human being is the same as another.

Oh and one more small fly in Nanny's oinkment.

A study conducted by the US group Archives of Internal Medicine shows that women can drink and stay slim, according to the study moderate drinkers gain less weight than teetotallers.

Those who drank no alcohol gained the most weight, and there was an inverse relationship between weight gain and alcohol consumption.

Therefore "fat" people (women anyway) should be encouraged to drink more!

QED!

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Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Ker Farking Ching!

Ker Farking Ching!Commiserations to the good ladies of Sawbridgeworth Evening Women's Institute, who recently fell foul of East Hertfordshire Council.

Their crime?

They were handing out flyers for a charity art exhibition.

One of Nanny's "litter wardens" deemed these to be litter, and promptly threatened them with a £80 fine.

Ker Farking Ching!

Seemingly, the warden was of the view it was illegal to hand these flyers out.

Funny that, I thought it was up to the police and courts to decide as to what was legal/illegal.

However, the ladies were in luck for the warden told them they would escape a fine as the warden was in a "good mood".

So, if you are doing something "illegal", if Nanny's enforcer is in a good mood then it is OK?

However, the WI must now obtain a licence from the council to legally hand fliers to passers-by.

Oh, and I should not have called the enforcer a "litter warden". Apparently, the official title is "Area Environmental Inspectors".

Snort!

A very large title, doubtless giving the individuals an inflated sense of their own importance (or is it impotence?).

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Tuesday, March 09, 2010

The Dangers of Health and Safety

No More Heroes
One of the recurring themes, that serves to annoy all those who oppose the Nanny state, is the "health and safety" excuse used by all manner of jobsworths to refuse to do something and used by councils and insurance companies to screw the hapless voters out of ever more cash.

Sadly, aside from the financial and life sapping consequences of the health and safety culture that Nanny has constructed, there are at times real dangers from it that prove to be fatal.

Gabrielle Grady, a five year old girl, was recently trapped for almost two hours in a car that had plunged into the river Avon because health and safety rules prevented police from entering the water to rescue her.

West Mercia police stated that safety regulations barred normal police officers from jumping into rivers to try to save people (although they did enter the water to rescue her brother who had managed to get out of the car). Hence 97 minutes were lost whilst a police dive team were located and transported to the scene (they took 12 minutes, once on site, to rescue Gabrielle).

Gabrielle's funeral was held yesterday.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

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Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

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Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Monday, March 08, 2010

British Gas - Taking The Piss


Good morning my loyal readers, please allow me to regale you with a tale concerning my dear old mum, her boiler and British Gas.

Its a tale and half!

Last week mum's boiler went on the blink. British Gas were duly summoned to fix said boiler, and they did what they could but advised a new one was needed.

Sure enough, as eggs were eggs, the boiler breathed its last on Friday. By happy happenstance British Gas were on hand to provide a quote for a new boiler.

At this stage allow me to inform you that mum lives in a two bedroom apartment, on the 3rd floor of a modern well kept apartment block.

Can you guess how much British gas quoted?

£2K?

No!

£3K?

No!

£4K?

No!

British gas quoted £4700 (gross of their £400 discount), ie net price of £4300.

Does that figure not seem a tad high to you?

The British Gas employee who provided the quote suggested that it was, and that I would be unlikely to take it.

No sh*t!

I duly acquired another quote from a recommended, reputable gas fitter/plumber.

Can you guess what he quoted?

£1675!

Yes, £3K less than the British Gas gross quote.

How can there be such a price differential?

Ah, British Gas explain it thus...health and safety!

You see my loyal readers, British Gas are of the view that in order to install the boiler (and adjust the flu) they will need to erect (there's that word again!) scaffolding.

Health and safety, don't you know!

Quite how attempting to fleece an elderly widowed lady of £4700 makes her feel any more healthy or safer is beyond me.

However, as we know, Nanny Knows Best!

Can you guess which boiler installer we are going to use?

Suffice to say, my advice to all of you out there is to avoid British Gas like the plague.

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Bingo Halls In Decline, Stats Show

The traditional bingo hall of old, which entertained so many of us, young or old, could be a thing of the past much sooner than anyone thought, with figures revealing a big decline in halls and attendance. On the other hand, online bingo sites have seen a major incline in users.

According to official government statistics published in the Daily Mail, the number of bingo halls in the UK has fallen from 650 in 1997 to only 460 this year, representing a drop of 29 per cent. In contrast to this, the prevalence of casinos on the high street is on an upswing, having risen by 27 per cent over the same period of time to stand at 140.

One bingo hall to suffer and be shut down is Walkers Bingo Club in Wednesbury. This veteran venue has been serving its community's bingo needs for more than 30 years but will no longer open its gates.

There have been several reasons quoted for this decline. According to inside sources, the smoking ban had a major effect driving many players to stay at home and pursue online bingo on the internet. These websites offer patrons a complete experience including many types of bingo games, live chats and various types of free scratch cards or instant games.

The increased competition from the web with better offers and jackpots has swept away more potential players than ever before. It has become very common to see TV advertising for online bingo sites which has contributed to the increase in public awareness, even among the older generation who are not well acquainted with using computers.

Saturday, March 06, 2010

Prats of The Week - Teignbridge District Council

Prats of The WeekMethinks it is time to award another of my prestigious and internationally renowned "Prats of The Week" Awards.

This week it goes to Teignbridge District Council.

For why?

It is proposing to scrap free car parking at its Newton Abbot headquarters.

For why?

They want to charge their staff who own cars made before January 2001, more than staff with newer cars.

For why?

Older cars are evil, because they pollute the atmosphere more.

How much will the charges be?

£1 a day for older cars, 50p a day for newer cars.

Ker farking ching!

Teignbridge District Council, well deserving "Prats of The Week".

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Friday, March 05, 2010

Bin Brother - Spies R Us

Bin Brother
Be warned that Nanny's councils are continuing to fit their rubbish bins with sensors.

Big Brother Watch claims that there are now 2.6 million households with "tagged" bins.

Nanny claims that these chips are innocent, and that they help her monitor waste disposal etc.

However, the reality is that once conditions are right, Nanny will start to use the information collected to charge us for our waste.

Do remember my loyal readers, the primary aim of the state is to seek funding in order to survive and grow.

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Lawyers Cancel School Trip II

LawyersThose loyal readers with long memories, not addled by Nanny's banned substances of booze and fags etc, may recall that back in January I wrote about the rather sad story of a school trip to an outdoor activity centre in Craggan in the Cairngorms being cancelled because the mother of a disabled girl objected to it.

Yesterday one of the other parents (who by happenstance I knew at university), who has a child at the school, posted an update on the article:

"Hullo Ken

An update from a parent of a child at the school.

Highland Council have now created a trip to another outdoor centre but the mother of the disabled child has removed her child from the school in protest. The mother claims NO child should be allowed to enjoy ANY activity her severely disabled child cannot take part in. That is NOT the law and is unfair, in that it would restrict options for able bodied children.

The action of Highland Council in giving way is very odd. We have not had an explanation of why the council felt it had "no alternative" but to cancel the trip. I have requested details (under Freedom of Information rules) of which clause in the Disability Discrimination Act was not complied with or which section of the Council's "Trip Planning Guide" was not followed.

I suspect that the "guidance" was not fully followed so they felt nervous. I have suggested that such guidance "gold plates" the DDA and makes it easier to challenge a trip.
"

How on earth does removing the girl from the school "in protest" help this child in anyway shape or form?

I am at a total loss to understand the rationale behind this woman's actions.

It is a very sad story, and one that reflects quite how dysfunctional our society has become under the weight of legislation and climate of fear generated by the Nanny state.

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Thursday, March 04, 2010

Nanny Wants Thicker Chips


Well now, here is a Nanny scheme that in theory I could almost buy into.

Nanny's chumps (sorry, chums) in the Food Standards Agency (FSA) are concerned that thin chips absorb more fat than thick chips.

As such they are campaigning for chunkier chips to be produced.

In theory this is an excellent idea, the thin reconstituted "potato type" reheated shite (aka "fries"), offered by certain fast food chains and "restaurants", are an abomination and have zero taste/sensuality in the mouth.

Factoid: contrary to what some would have you believe frying chips in dripping or lard is better for you, because vegetable oils contains trans fats.

I am all for a return to the more traditional thick cut chip, as served by our traditional chippie.

However, as with all of Nanny's schemes, there is a fly in her oinkment.

Can you guess where the FSA intends to start rolling out her "thick cut chip" scheme?

Yes, that's right, chip shops!

The FSA will run pilot schemes in Cambridgeshire, Greater Manchester and Northern Ireland. Officials will visit 80 chip shops to examine how much fat is in their chips and offer advice.

Message to Nanny, chip shops already serve thick cut chips and cook them fresh (ie they are not injected with fat and then reheated).

Nanny should be visiting those outlets that serve "fries" not chips.

A remarkable waste of time and money.

Oh, and by the way, I have never forgiven the EU for banning newspaper as a means of wrapping my chips!

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Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Nanny Bans Nose Blowing II



Ah today is a good news day my loyal readers.

Do you remember, back in the gloomy month of January, that I wrote about Michael Mancini and police cuntstable "Shiny Buttons" (who once recently issued a £50 fixed penalty to a man who accidentally dropped a £10 note in the street) who booked him for blowing his nose whilst his car was out of gear with the handbrake on?

Well, guess what?

A spokesman for the Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service said last week:

"After further enquiry and careful consideration of all the facts and circumstances of this case, the procurator fiscal has decided that no further action is required."

In other words, Nanny and her PC "Shiny Buttons" were forced to back down.

Hoorah!

Let us crack open something and party like it is 1999!

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Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Nanny Hates Fags



My sympathies to Nick Hogan, a former pub landlord from Chorley, who is the first person in the UK to be jailed after flouting the smoking ban.

Mr Hogan was sentenced to six months in prison, for failing to pay fines for smoking ban breaches at his two Bolton pubs. He was found guilty of breaching the smoking ban in January 2008 at the Swan and the Barristers pubs he ran.

On the day the ban came into force he organised a "mass light-up" in the two pubs.

He was fined £3,000 and ordered to pay £7,136 in costs.

Following the conviction, Mr Hogan lost his job and was unable to keep up with the £125 a week fine payments.

He was jailed last Friday by magistrates in Bolton.

There is now a fund being raised to pay off the fine.

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Monday, March 01, 2010

A Nation of Paedophiles - No Family Photos


My sympathies to Kevin Geraghty-Shewan, who fell foul of Nanny's Paedofinder General the other day.

Mr Geraghty-Shewan was shopping with his wife and 4 year old son, Ben, at the Bridges Shopping Centre Sunderland. Mr Geraghty-Shewan paid for Ben to ride on a children's train ride outside one of the stores and, at the suggestion of his wife, took a photo of Ben on the ride.

Can you guess what happened next loyal readers?

Yes, that's right, Nanny's Paedofinder General (in the shape of a security guard) appeared and told him that he must not take photos because he might be a paedophile.

The security guard went on to say that Mr Geraghty-Shewan could not prove that he was Ben's father and that "there is a real problem with paedophiles", he then threatened to call the manager.

A few minutes later, as if by magic, a policeman apprehended Mr Geraghty-Shewan and told him that a complaint had been made a about a man fitting Geraghty-Shewan's description taking photos of children.

The policeman then asked what Mr Geraghty-Shewan was doing in Sunderland, asked for his name and address and told him he had the right to delete his pictures.

Then, for good measure, he threatened Mr Geraghty-Shewan with arrest for breach of the peace.

Quite what effect all of this must have had on Ben is anyone's guess. Nanny, of course, doesn't give a damn about that though.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

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Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries