Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Wednesday, August 12, 2020

PHE Continues To Be Utter Shite!

PHE tweet their stats that have been officially suspended, they are taking the piss.

For the record, ONS shows less than 20 deaths per day!


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Tuesday, August 11, 2020

Why Does The BBC Continue To Report PHE Incorrect Figures?


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Monday, August 10, 2020

BBC Hunting Doggers!


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John Redwood Nails It!


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Thursday, August 06, 2020

Thousands of PHE Covid Deaths Were Fake - Yet The BBC Still Reports Them


It seems that the review into PHE's shambolic and useless misreporting of covid deaths will see the light of day on Friday.

It is expected that thousands of covid deaths are to be removed from the statistics, as these people didn't die from covid.

Ironically, despite the fact that PHE's stats have been proven to be wrong, the BBC continues to use them as the basis for its "news" reports!
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Tuesday, August 04, 2020

Brighton Council Hates Tourists!

 
The Entrance To Brighton Marina
As Brighton's Green council attempts to destroy local businesses by abolishing tourism and turning Brighton into one giant cycle lane that goes nowhere, they will soon find this policy has a cost when the seafront businesses go on rent strike!


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Monday, August 03, 2020

Meanwhile In Brixton.....


In the event that Forever Friends (the new black shirts) get their reparations for not being slaves, from people who were not slave owners, I will be hot footing it to the Italian and Swedish embassies to demand reparations for what they did to my ancestors back in the days of the Roman Empire and Viking raids!

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Friday, July 31, 2020

Nanny Bans JK Rowling


An advertising poster reading “I love JK Rowling” at Waverley, Edinburgh’s main railway station , has been removed for being too “political” and potentially offensive.

Network Rail confirmed that the digital advertisement had been taken down because it breached its policy by promoting a political viewpoint.

Expressing an opinion these days is frowned upon!


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Thursday, July 30, 2020

Wednesday, July 29, 2020

Henry Dimblely's Egregious Loathing of Percy Pig


Restaurateur Henry Dimbleby (who by happenstance is now in charge of the very Orwellian sounding National Food Strategy) has, for reasons best known to himself, something of a "bugbear" about Percy Pigs (sweets).

He finds it "egregious" that food products such as Percy Pigs claim to be natural etc etc. Thus he has decided to become the nation's Fussbucket in Chief.

The Guardian quotes him:

I just think that is not right. I think that is genuinely misleading

One of the most egregious sins of the modern food industry is its habit of clothing itself, and its products, in false virtue … ‘No artificial colours or artificial flavourings’ trills the packaging for Percy Pig, the ‘soft gums made with fruit juice’… How many parents take the time to check the ingredients list? If they did, they might (assuming they know how ingredient lists work) be agog to find that the three largest ingredients by weight are glucose syrup, sugar and glucose-fructose-syrup."

Well that's lovely, but the ingredients are printed clearly on the product, and until Nanny actually starts wiping our arse for us maybe we should let people make their own decisions eh?

It's a sweet, they are not meant to be nutritious!


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Tuesday, July 28, 2020

PHE Is Utter Shite and Should Be Ignored


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IRONY KLAXON - Jamie Oliver Tells Us We Are Fat


Lose a few pounds yourself laddie, before lecturing the rest of us!

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Monday, July 27, 2020

The NHS Has Become The State Religion


It's all very well "protecting" the NHS, but the NHS is meant to protect the patients not the other way around.

This will end in tears!

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Thursday, July 23, 2020

Being Born White Is Racist

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Wednesday, July 22, 2020

Advice To Nanny Re Knife Awareness Courses


Don't allow attendees to bring knives to the courses!

A young offender stabbed another teenager to death at Hillingdon Council's offices while on a knife awareness course, a court has heard.

The 17-year-old, who cannot be named for legal reasons, knifed Hakim Sillah, 18, twice in the chest in a "rapid sequence of infliction" at Hillingdon Civic Centre, in Uxbridge, last November.

Michelle Nelson QC, prosecuting, said: "There is a cruel irony in this case that Hakim Sillah was stabbed while he was attending a weapons awareness training course.

"The course was for young offenders, those aged under 18 with a previous offence related to weapons."

Ms Nelson said that all participants had been risk assessed before the session, which was run by the Youth Offending Teams (YOTS), and that "those classified as high risk were precluded from attending".

"Both the young men must have been risk assessed, but the sad reality is that both attended that course carrying knives," she said.

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Tuesday, July 21, 2020

Monday, July 20, 2020

Humans Not as Susceptible To Serious Covid Infection as Nanny Would Have Us Believe


As per the BBC no less:

"Several studies have shown that people infected with Covid-19 tend to have T cells that can target the virus, regardless of whether they have experienced symptoms. So far, so normal. But scientists have also recently discovered that some people can test negative for antibodies against Covid-19 and positive for T cells that can identify the virus. This has led to suspicions that some level of immunity against the disease might be twice as common as was previously thought.

Most bizarrely of all, when researchers tested blood samples taken years before the pandemic started, they found T cells which were specifically tailored to detect proteins on the surface of Covid-19. This suggests that some people already had a pre-existing degree of resistance against the virus before it ever infected a human. And it appears to be surprisingly prevalent: 40-60% of unexposed individuals had these cells."


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Friday, July 17, 2020

Good Riddance To PHE!


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Nanny Censors Guy Gibson's Dog's Headstone

 
Sanitising the past to suit the present will end in tears!

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Wednesday, July 15, 2020

PHE Data is Unreliable

As loyal readers know, PHE has featured on this site before.

The article above notes that the data provided by PHE is not reliable and, as such, ONS data should be used.

As and when Covid has been brought under some form of control, it is likely that PHE will be dealt with one way or another.

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Monday, July 13, 2020

If at First You Don't Succeed, Fail, Fail and Fail Again!

They failed the first time, and will fail the second time!

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Wednesday, July 08, 2020

Nanny Abandons The Rule of Law

 
Why have they apologised?

The police state that the car (with darkened windows) was going the wrong way and refused to stop.

Surely, on the assumption that the police are not lying, that was sufficient to warrant being pulled over?

Apparently not!

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Tuesday, July 07, 2020

Twats!


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Monday, July 06, 2020

Shock, Horror, Probe - No Weekend Carnage!


Contrary to what certain sections of the media had been hoping and hyping for, the reopening of the pubs this weekend didn't result in carnage.

Which rather goes to show that the media are not serving this country well!

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Friday, July 03, 2020

Law and Order


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Wednesday, July 01, 2020

Those That Ignore Their History Are Often Run Over By It

Methinks that The Premier League would have been wise to look to football's own past before kowtowing to a political movement, viz the England Team in 1938:

"We didn't know that Hitler was a National Socialist!"


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Tuesday, June 30, 2020

Nanny Bans The Emperor Constantine


The future of the statue of Roman Emperor Constantine, outside York Minster, is being "looked at" following complaints and the Archbishop of Canterbury’s call for a review of statues.

For why?

The Roman Empire had slaves!

On that basis I assume the British government will be lodging a claim for reparations from the Italian government, given that some of our citizens were made slaves 2,000 years ago?


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Monday, June 29, 2020

L'Oreal Bans Whiteness


As per AFP:
"The L'Oreal Group has decided to remove the words white/whitening, fair/fairness, light/lightening from all its skin evening products."

Question for L'Oreal:

Given that you have banned the above mentioned words, what exactly will you tell your customers the product does?

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Friday, June 26, 2020

How To Stop Crime In Ipswich!


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Thursday, June 25, 2020

Cambridge Supports Free Speech - So Long as You Say What It Wants You To Say

I pity any young person contemplating going into a lifetime of debt for a university education.

Universities that dictate what you may or may not think/say are not worth a penny of your debt!

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Wednesday, June 24, 2020

Show Some Guts!

 
Boris is right, seaside towns whose economies are based on tourism need to "show some guts" and reopen in line with the government plan.

Brighton, for reasons best known to itself, is doing its best to put people off from coming there (eg its iconic Madeira Drive on the seafront remains closed to traffic). However, other seaside towns (eg Eastbourne) are champing at the bit to open.

Like it or not Covid isn't going away, and we will have to learn to live with it. It will reinfect people, just as flu and colds reinfect people. The severity of infection will depend on a number of factors including, but not limited to:

- viral load
- age
- health
- obesity etc etc

It's here to stay!

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Tuesday, June 23, 2020

Independence Day - One Metre Plus #StayOneMetrePlus


It would seem that Independence Day (4th of July) is set to the day when pubs, restaurants etc will be allowed to reopen using the one metre plus rule.

Let us see how the "plus" part of that equation works out in practice....

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Friday, June 19, 2020

Virtue Signalling Never Ends Well!


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Nanny To Ban Swing Low


Nanny's pandering to the woke classes continues apace.

The RFU are expected to call on fans to drop Swing Low, Sweet Chariot as their unofficial anthem because of its associations with slavery.

The anthem, a 19th-century African-American slave song, is the subject of a review by the Rugby Football Union. First sung at Twickenham in 1987 for Martin Offiah — a black player nicknamed “Chariots” — it has become essential at England matches.

The RFU is expected to discourage supporters from singing it.

The RFU, like others who have had knee jerk reactions, need to take a sharp intake of breath and stop acting like scared sheep.

Step forward Trevor Philips with some intelligent comments on this nonsense
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Thursday, June 18, 2020

In Rhodes We Trust - #DefundTheRhodesScholarship


As loyal readers know, the subject of the statue of Rhodes has featured on this site a few years ago. At the time the campaign to remove the statue was being fronted by someone who was in receipt of a Rhodes Scholarship.

Students don't get this hypocrisy thing!

Anyhoo, fast forward a few years and it seems that the Baizuo have had a pyrrhic victory with their campaign to have the statue of Rhodes taken down from Oriel College Oxford.

The college governors have voted to take it down, eventually, once planning procedures etc have been dealt with.

Given that anything associated with Rhodes, in the minds of the Baizuo, is now verboten I assume that they will now be moving heaven and earth to defund the Rhodes Scholarship and the Mandela Rhodes Foundation.

For the benefit of the Baizuo, who may not be as well educated as they think they are:

The Rhodes Scholarship is the oldest (first awarded in 1902) and perhaps most prestigious international scholarship programme, enabling outstanding young people from around the world to study at the University of Oxford.

The Mandela Rhodes Foundation is one of Nelson Mandela’s three official legacy organisations, founded in 2003 in partnership with the Rhodes Trust. They find, fund, and empower young Africans who aspire towards the kind of leadership Mr Mandela embodied: leaders who can bridge historic divides and who use their talents for the betterment of their societies and the African continent.

They do this by providing a postgraduate scholarship for young leaders to study in South Africa, an experience which is accompanied by a residential Leadership Development Programme.
"We believe that leadership begins with inner transformation, and our Programmes are built on our founding principles of reconciliation, education, entrepreneurship and leadership."
Given that the Baizuo don't seem to believe in Mandela's methodology, I assume that they will be demanding that the Rhodes Scholarship is eliminated from Oxford?

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Wednesday, June 17, 2020

Coco Pops and Rice Krispies are Racist


Former Labour MP Fiona Onasanya said she had written to cereal giant Kellogg to ask why chocolate-flavoured Coco Pops are represented by a monkey while Rice Krispies are marketed using “three white boys”.

The former Peterborough MP caused Coco Pops to trend on Twitter on Monday evening after she revealed she had emailed Kellogg’s UK office asking for an explanation on the branding.

Ms Onasanya – who was removed from office last May after she was convicted of perverting the course of justice over a speeding ticket – tweeted:

So I was wondering why Rice Krispies have three white boys representing the brand and Coco Pops have a monkey?”

She forget to mention the leprechaun on the box of lucky charms!


Sigh!


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Tuesday, June 16, 2020

Educashun - Oxford University's Patronising Attitude

It seems to me that aside from being remarkably patronising and insulting, Oxford is in danger of provoking students to ask for their money back.

After all, what is the point of getting yourself into a lifetime of debt, for a degree that is worth FA?

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Monday, June 15, 2020

I've Never Met Churchill...Oh Dear Oh Dear!


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Friday, June 12, 2020

Don't Mention The War - Ever! #DefundTheBBC


The list of stupid things that Auntie has banned grows ever longer, as today the "Germans" episode of Fawlty Towers has been pulled from UKTV (owned by Auntie) because Auntie likes to virtue signal.

Unsurprisingly most people, including John Cleese, think that this is stupid.

Well, Auntie is stupid and will be defunded!

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Thursday, June 11, 2020

Do Not Feed The Mob!


Another day, another list of things banned because people are afraid of the mob.

Today Netflix, in another pathetic act of virtue signalling, has pulled The Mighty Boosh and The League of Gentlemen from its streaming service.

Whilst Bournemouth Christchurch and Poole Council has removed the statue of Robert Baden-Powell (the founder of the scouts) from Poole Quay on the advice of the police. It seems he is on the Baizuo's little hate list.

As an aside, Colston has been fished out of the harbour in Bristol and the council will now dither as to what to do with it.

Sadly, for the moment, councils and certain kneeling politicians are running scared of the mob and the Baizuo; preferring instead to kowtow to them and drooling and drivelling that they care, rather than face them down.

I would remind you that the more you feed the mob, the more ravenous it becomes. One day, when it has gorged on everything else, it will come for you!

Anyhoo, Baizuo such as Odent (a museum curator) who tweeted instructions as to how to deface statues has had a merry old time enjoying her brief nanosecond of fame.



However, as distasteful as this kowtowing is it will not be a permanent feature of this country's response to the Baizuo and the mob. They are day by day revealing their true nature, and the decent people of Britain now see them for what they truly are - intolerant bigots, who will only be satisfied when their opinions and views are coming out of our mouths.

Have a care though, the Baizuo are currently basking in the sunshine of false hope; but for them the night is coming, then they will have a far better appreciation of the hopelessness of their situation and what the majority of people actually think of them.

Odent is already feeling the night's dark embrace, as she is now under police investigation and has gone awol on social media. Thus it will be for the rest of the Baizuo and the mob, come the night they will be kettled, identified, photographed and inconvenienced until they tweet their frustrations on social media. Alas, for them, to no avail as no one will be listening.

As Orwell said:
The most effective way to destroy people is to deny and obliterate their own understanding of their history.”

DO NOT FEED THE MOB!

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Wednesday, June 10, 2020

Auntie Bans Little Britain - #DefundTheBBC


In a bizarre twist in the ongoing purge of all things offensive in Britain, Auntie has decided to ban and eradicate from history (ie you can no longer stream past episodes) Little Britain.

Apparently, it is offensive to the Woke classes and the banning of it allows Auntie to virtue signal to the world.

All very well and nice, except for the fact

-it was written and performed this century,
-attracted audiences of over 10 million and
-won numerous awards.

By banning it, Auntie has sent the message to her own viewers (and licence fee payers) that they are offensive.

Oh, and I'm pretty sure that at the time of production and transmission Auntie must have been well aware that it was offensive, given that it targeted more or less every type of person who lives in Britain. It seems rather odd that Nanny has taken a year or so to work that one out!

However, you can still watch it on Youtube and other parts of the net, so the ban is all but useless; but that is in effect what virtue signalling is!

Now that she has banned it, I wonder what other shows from the archives she will exhume and throw on the Woke bonfire?

Never mind, Auntie won't be around for much longer, she will be put out of her misery soon enough!


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Tuesday, June 09, 2020

Nanny Khan's Statue Diversity Inspector


Nanny Khan, spurred on by the mob, has decided that the statues, plaques and other assorted memorials in London may not be woke enough to fit in with his target support base.

As such he has decreed that statues, murals, street art and street names will all be reviewed by the new Commission for Diversity in the Public Realm who will also consider what should be celebrated before making recommendations.

In other words, those statues etc that he doesn't like he will have removed.

Good luck with that then.

What Khan will learn, to his cost, is that you should never feed the mob. Feeding it will make it ever more hungry, and one day it will eat him!

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Friday, June 05, 2020

Household Cavalry Berated For Cleaning Graffiti

The mouthy female (who is under the impression that "All Cops Are Bastards") has been identified and, unsurprisingly, has "disappeared" from social media.

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Thursday, June 04, 2020

Spanish Nanny's Masterclass In Covid-19 Statistical Manipulation


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Wednesday, June 03, 2020

Stunning and Brave - NOT!

Who would have thought that trout lips were the way to happiness and mental well being?

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Tuesday, June 02, 2020

Jobs Galore - But We Don't Know What or Where


Directors (various opportunities across Government)

Cabinet Office

Apply before 11:55 pm on Sunday 14th June 2020

 

Reference number

53706

Salary

£100,000
(Circa salary)

Grade

SCS Pay Band 2

Contract type

Permanent
Fixed Term
Secondment

Length of employment

To be confirmed at a later stage following completion of the selection process

Business area

Other

Type of role

Analytical
Operational Delivery
Policy
Project Delivery

Working pattern

Flexible working, Full-time, Homeworking, Job share, Part-time

Number of posts

10

Location

East Midlands, Eastern, London, North East, North West, South East, South West, West Midlands, Yorkshire and the Humber

About the job

Summary

It’s a very rare organisation that can point to its mission as the defining leadership challenge of a generation. With the impact of COVID-19 being felt in every area of public life, the Civil Service in England can do just that.

The unprecedented scale and complexity of this fluid challenge are bringing together leaders from all over Government, and we’re now looking to add to them with the highest calibre professionals.

Whether your experience is from inside or outside of the Civil Service, what’s on offer is a career-defining experience. Your inspirational leadership qualities, fresh perspectives and ability to work on a multitude of emerging priorities will be hugely influential in shaping the Government’s response to the pandemic.

We have Director opportunities across multiple departments, including the Department for Business, Energy & Industrial Strategy (BEIS), the Department for Health & Social Care (DHSC), the Department for Transport (DfT) and the Ministry of Housing, Communities and Local Government (MHCLG). These organisations have very substantial budgets, complex cross-cutting programmes and a nationwide remit you simply won’t find anywhere else.

We’re looking for significant experience of engaging at executive and board levels, excellent relationship and influencing skills across organisatons, and the ability to work creatively at very fast pace. You’ll need to see ambiguity as an opportunity for innovation and be motivated by the chance to help guide the nation through complicated and uncertain times.

In return, you can look forward to an impressive package including valuable Civil Service pension, generous annual leave and much more.

"At this stage we are unable to say specifically where successful candidates may be posted but roles are likely to be available in a range of departments."

In the old days I would have taken this to be an advert for The Service.

However, we are not  in the old days any more.

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Monday, June 01, 2020

Define "Safe"

There is no such thing as "safe", merely varying degrees of risk measured against the costs of doing or not doing something.

We all have a different view as to what is "safe" and different risk appetites, like it or not the country will move forward at a pace that is too fast for some but too slow for others.

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Friday, May 29, 2020

Thursday, May 21, 2020

Auntie's Noble Gesture

 
I have asked Auntie the following:

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Wednesday, May 20, 2020

The Virtual University of Cambridge

It would seem that those who expect to have a full and fruitful university education had better avoid Cambridge, as it has set out measures for the full 2020-21 academic year, announcing that it will move all “face-to-face lectures” online for the duration. The institution added that it was “likely” social distancing would continue to be required.

The university said lectures would continue virtually until summer 2021, while it may be possible for smaller teaching groups to take place in person if it “conforms to social-distancing requirements”.

Given that primary schools (aside from those held by rebel councils) are going back next month, and secondary schools will be going back in Autumn, it beggars belief that one of Britain's leading universities (founded in 1209)  feels that it is not up to the logistical challenge of managing to hold lectures in a socially distant fashion.

Were I a student of the above body, I would demand a hefty discount on my fees!


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Tuesday, May 19, 2020

Trump Gives WHO a Public Kicking

 
That is why it is my duty, as President of the United States, to inform you that, if the World Health Organization does not commit to major substantive improvements within the next 30 days, I will make my temporary freeze of United States funding to the World Health Organization permanent and reconsider our membership in the organization.

Trump has just given the WHO a public kicking, as to whether the USA will really leave WHO remains to be seen.

However, loyal readers know that the WHO has featured here on this site on more than one occasion, eg when it appointed Mugabe as goodwill ambassador. As such, I have every sympathy with Trump's views about the organisation!

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Monday, May 18, 2020

South African Nanny Bans Booze and Fags


For reasons best known to herself, South African Nanny has instituted prohibition, and banned booze and fags during the Covid-19 lockdown.

Aside from having a detrimental effect on people's stress levels (fags and booze, like it or not, help people get through stressful situations), the totally expected effect of bootlegging and the rise of criminality (criminal gangs supplying booze and fags) has occurred.

Pound to penny those in the South African government who ordered this absurd prohibition are happily boozing and smoking their way through lockdown!

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Friday, May 15, 2020

Boris Declares War on Fat


I see that Boris's brush with death, and a look at the Covid death statistics, has convinced him and the government that obesity is one the prime causes of a Covid death.

As such, he appears to want go hell for leather with an anti obesity campaign.

I am not a doctor, but I dare say obesity may well have a part to play in the deaths. As to whether an anti obesity campaign and "sin" taxes will make the slightest difference, I have my doubts.

Nanny has been lecturing us for years about our ever expanding guts, with little or no success.

I suspect this will be a fruitless war that will achieve very little.

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Thursday, May 14, 2020

Brighton Jetty Continues To Be Blocked For Health and Safety - #JettyGate


Loyal readers may recall that in January I wrote the following:
"A jetty over Brighton Queen’s Park pond is set to open in March – almost a year late following health and safety delays.

The jetty was built in 2019 after park visitors were asked to choose how to spend money contributed by local developers – either to rework its quiet garden to open it up and deter drug users, or to create a dipping platform.

The platform project was chosen and the jetty was completed to the original designs by May – but a surprise inspection by the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents meant it has remained fenced off ever since."
A few weeks later the barriers were then unceremoniously thrown into the pond, and access to the jetty was restored. Then a fortnight ago I saw that the barriers had been re-erected, and restored to their position in front of the jetty blocking access. Two days later they were moved allowing access.

Great, common sense prevailed!

Sadly not, for this morning I see that one of the "safety" barriers has again been re-erected, and placed in front of the jetty blocking access (before and after pictures above).

Just to remind you, this jetty was meant to open in March 2019!


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Wednesday, May 13, 2020

Anti Smokers Talk Bollocks


The headline is in itself utter bollocks, as is the concept of raising the price of fags.

As studies have noted, those who smoke seemingly reduce the risk of dying of Covid-19.

I have no idea why though!

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Monday, May 11, 2020

#StayAlert - Take Responsibility




Phase two requires people (apart from Ian Blackford) to

- Exercise common sense.

- Take responsibility.

- Act like adults.

Like it or not, until a vaccine is found, this disease isn't going anywhere and all that can be done (as has been done) is to "flatten the curve" and ensure the NHS isn't overwhelmed at any point in time.

The mortality rate is not yet clear, but appears to range between 2% - 0.1%. This will give rise to a UK toll of between 1M - 54K assuming an 80% infection rate.


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