Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Sunday, July 31, 2016

The Best Flight Safety Demonstration Ever



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Friday, July 29, 2016

Lord Ahmad - Nanny's Merriment Killer


Oh dear oh dear, I had hoped that the Tories were going to one day get over their Nannying fetish, sadly not yet.

Step forward Lord Ahmad (Nanny's aviation minister) who has got his knickers in a twist over people drinking at airports.

He is concerned that between March 2014 and March 2016 442 people were held after air rage incidents, this is a piss pathetic percentage when you consider that 8 million people fly EVERY DAY!.

His solution to this piss pathetic problem?

Stop 24 hour drinking at airports.

He says that he does not want to “kill merriment altogether” but feels that the current regime may not “fit for purpose”.

He wants to “look at” the fact that airport pubs, bars and restaurants can sell alcohol 24 hours a day because they are not subject to licensing laws.

Ironically Graham Stringer, a Labour MP on the Transport select committee, basically said that the idea is bollocks:
My instinct is that there are already rules and if people fancy a drink at the start of their holidays then why shouldn't they have one?
It sounds to me like nannying and I think he's looking for something to do. There are perfectly adequate rules to stop anti-social and drunken behaviour both in airports and on planes."
Here are a few reasons as to why Lord Ahmad is talking bollocks:

1 People such as Ahmad fly business/first class, as such they sit in nice lounges with access to free booze. The rest of the world has to use bars and pay for the booze, why restrict only the "plebs" rights?

2 People are flying 24 hours a day, and their body clocks are generally fucked. Therefore to restrict sales to only certain times of the day makes no sense at all, given that major airports operate 24/7.

3 Bar staff are trained to stop serving people who are clearly well out of their boxes.

4 There are already plenty of rules etc that can stop unruly idiots even boarding a plane.

5 The stats show that it is not a major problem.

6 Air rage is not always alcohol related.

Basically Lord Ahmad should shut up!

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Thursday, July 28, 2016

The Empire Strikes Back - Imperial Tobacco Circumvents Nanny


Kudos to the good people of Imperial Tobacco who have come up with a way of circumventing Australian Nanny's health warnings on fag packet laws.

The solution?

Packs of 20 Peter Stuyvesant cigarettes - manufactured by Imperial - are being sold with a lift out soft pack inside the olive boxes mandated by the Rudd/Gillard Government in 2011.

This means that fag lovers can throw away the cardboard box carrying warnings of cancer, gangrene, blindness and heart disease and instead use a shiny silver pack to carry their fags.

As per Chinchilla News a spokeswoman for Imperial denied the company was breaking the law before adding:
"we are providing a fresher, premium product to consumers."
Now here's a thought, British Nanny wants plain packaging. Why not simply insert a nicely designed colourful inner container into the dowdy Nanny pack, so that fag smokers can show their true allegiance after purchase and throw the Nanny pack away?

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Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Fear of Causing Offence Offends Us All


I see that Fireman Sam has managed to get himself entangled in an alleged religious furore.

The BBC reports that an episode of Fireman Sam, in which one character appears to tread on a page from the Koran, has been withdrawn.

A scene in the children's programme shows a fireman slipping on a pile of papers - and as they fly into the air a page from the Koran is "briefly depicted", production firm Mattel said.

The episode was first broadcast in October 2014 on Channel 5 but the "error" has only recently been spotted.

Mattel apologised and said it did not believe it was done "maliciously".

Channel 5, which broadcasts Fireman Sam, has removed the episode from its streaming website.

Miqdaad Versi, assistant secretary general of the Muslim Council of Britain, tweeted: "I have no idea what went through the producer's minds when they thought this was a good idea #baffled".

He also said he had identified the page from the Koran as "Surah Mulk (67), verses 13-26".

In a statement, Mattel said:
"The page was intended to show illegible text and we deeply regret this error.

We sincerely apologise for any distress or offence it may have caused."

It said it would "no longer be working with the animation studio responsible", and would take "immediate action to remove this episode from circulation".

"We are reviewing our content production procedures to ensure this never happens again.".
Looking at the offending clip, I am at a loss to understand how (unless someone looks frame by frame) a normal viewer could even see this?

How therefore was this first spotted?

In the current scheme of things, given the daily news headlines, why is this making headlines?

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Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Hoist With Nanny's Own Petard


Nanny would have us believe that she is omnipotent, and can "improve" our lives at the click of her heels.

Yet, as is clear from the above, she is also now hog tied by her own rules and regulations.

Will she learn a lesson from this?

No, of course she won't!

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Monday, July 25, 2016

Nanny Bans Latin Abbreviations



Nanny's experts in wordspeak are concerned that some of her subjects are too thick to understand Latin abbreviations that have been used for centuries eg; ie, QED, eg,etc.

Therefore Nanny will ban all Latin abbreviations on all of her official websites ie (oops I can't say that anymore!) those hosted under GOV.UK.

Seemingly the phrases could confuse English speakers who were "under stress or in a hurry".

This of course is bollocks, because Latin is the root of many European languages (especially English) and forms a common bond between these languages.

Nanny would do better on focusing her gimlet eye on reducing the amount of guff she writes, and clarifying her bureaucratic wordspeak!

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Thursday, July 21, 2016

Nanny Orders Everyone To Take Vitamin D Supplements


According to research carried out by the Scientific Advisory Committee on Nutrition (SACN), everyone should consider taking vitamin D supplements in autumn and winter.

Nanny's sets the recommended levels at 10 micrograms of the vitamin a day.

Now a long time ago, before Nanny came along, most people who had normal diets and exposed themselves to the sun were able to ingest enough vitamin D without the need for supplements.

However, the main sources of vitamin D are sunlight, dairy products, eggs etc.

Can you tell me children what the problem with the above list is?

Yes, that's right, Nanny hates all of the above and has lectured us day and night to avoid sunlight, dairy products and eggs.

In other words the current estimates of one in five adults and one in six children in England having low levels of vitamin D are most likely caused by Nanny's advice wrt sunshine and food products!

The solution to living a healthy, happy life is to ignore everything that Nanny tells you.

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Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Nanny's NHS List Cleansing


Here's an interesting news item, it appears that according to the Telegraph NHS England has employed the outsourcing company Capita (aka Crapita and often featured on this site) to begin a process of “list cleansing”.

What is "list cleansing"? I hear you ask.

It is a process whereby those who have not seen their GP for five years will be sent two letters asking them to respond.

If they do not reply saying they still wish to be registered with their doctor, they will be removed from the practice list.

The idea is to find out whether patients no longer require services or have moved house, left the country or died.

Hmmm..an interesting idea, but one that I suspect will end up a complete shambles with the wrong patients being knocked off the lists.

Oh, and it also means that Capita gets its hands on NHS patient details.

What could possibly go wrong?

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Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Pass The Sick Bag Someone!



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Monday, July 18, 2016

Bring Me Sunshine


On the 8th of July, when writing about the alleged oncoming warm weather, I noted:
"I guarantee that whether this comes to fruition or not Nanny will press the red alert "stay indoors, and stay cool" panic button."
Well as sure as eggs Nanny has pressed the panic button.

As per the Telegraph:
"Public Health England  is expected to declare a level 2 heat-health alert, triggered when the Met Office forecasts a 60 per cent or  greater chance of temperatures hitting 30C for at least two days consecutively....

The charity, Age UK, advised older people to stay indoors and to eat more cold foods, mainly salads and fruits, to keep hydrated in the heat."
Seriously, how did the human race survive before Nanny came along?

In the event bodies do not pile up on the streets, I wish you all a happy two days of sunshine and moderately warm weather!

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Friday, July 15, 2016

The Dangers of Pokémon GO - Stupidity Rules



Sigh...

You can't legislate against, nor reason with, stupidity!

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Thursday, July 14, 2016

Pasta Is Slimming


I am more than gemused to discover that, according to studies conducted by Italian scientists, those who eat greater quantities of pasta actually weigh less and have slimmer waists than those who don't.

Writing in the journal Nutrition and Diabetes, they said that high pasta intake was linked to lower BMI and a thinner waist.

Professor Licia Iacoviello, head of the molecular and nutritional epidemiology lab at the Neuromed Institute in Pozzilli, said:
We’re talking about a fundamental component of Italian Mediterranean tradition, and there is no reason to do without it.”
Mind you they are Italians, so they may be a little biased.

Plus Gunter Kuhnle, associate professor in nutrition and health at the University of Reading, said the study relied heavily on trusting that the people taking part had really eaten what they said they had eaten.

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Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Labour's Coup - Nothing New Under The Sun



As per the Huffington Post:
"Jeremy Corbyn celebrated at a rally of hundreds supporters on Tuesday evening, after he was given the automatic right to defend his position as Labour leader without having to be nominated by MPs.
Shadow chancellor John McDonnell used the event to mock the “fucking useless” Labour MPs who had hoped to oust Corbyn.

Mark Serwotka, general secretary of the Public and Commercial Services Union who hosted the rally for hundreds of people in Kentish Town, north London, told Tony Blair “fuck you” and added Neil Kinnock was a “disgrace” to Wales.

David Ward, the general secretary of the Communication Workers’ Union (CWU), said some Labour MPs were “bloody Tories” who should join Theresa May’s new Conservative cabinet.


Matt Wrack, the general  secretary of the Fire Brigades Union (FBU), said former shadow cabinet ministers who had quit Corbyn’s frontbench had shown themselves to want “lying dishonest leaders with no values”."

As Labour tears itself apart, it is worth remembering that there is nothing new under the sun.

Go back to the early 80's, when Labour was infiltrated by Militant, and you will see the same self loathing and hatred between the comrades then.

However, the fundamental issue that we need to remember is this, no matter which party is in power we need an effective opposition that holds the government of the day to account.

Nanny needs to be kept in check, whilst Labour is tearing itself apart Nanny will have a very free ride!

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Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

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Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Meanwhile In The USA...


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Nanny de Vil


I for one welcome our new Nanny de Vil overlord!

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Friday, July 08, 2016

Beware The Spanish Plume


I am gemused to see that, despite the rather dreary summer thus far, our intrepid and generally useless weather forecasters would have us believe a Spanish Plume is heading our way next week.

So what?

The forecasters claim that this will cause a heatwave from mid July to the end of August.

We shall see!

However, I guarantee that whether this comes to fruition or not Nanny will press the red alert "stay indoors, and stay cool" panic button.

Sigh!

We are not children, in the unlikely event the weather becomes a tad "warm" we will cope without Nanny's hectoring!

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Thursday, July 07, 2016

Nanny Bans Booze Purchase - "Dissatisfactory" Tesco!


Nanny has again managed to muddle herself up over her age limits on booze buying.

Nanny's chums from Tesco in Saxmunham decided to ban Angela Saunders (48) from buying some lager.

For why?

Ms Saunders was with her 15 year old daughter.

Ms Saunders is quoted by the Telegraph:
"I'm still in shock. It's completely bonkers. I'm a very loyal customer, but after this I'll never go back.

I felt so humiliated and embarrassed it made me look like I was trying to buy alcohol for my daughter."
Tesco has since apologised and admitted the employee acted incorrectly.

A spokeswoman said:
"We take our 'Think 25' alcohol policy very seriously. However, in this instance the colleague was incorrect in their judgement.

We are sincerely sorry for the dissatisfactory experience Ms Saunders had in store and for any offence caused."
In other words, now that it has become public we admit our mistake!

Oh, and by the way, "dissatisfactory"???

Double plus ungood Tesco!

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Wednesday, July 06, 2016

The Dangers of Smoothies


Nanny's chums from Public Health England (PHE) have now focused their gimlet eyes upon fruit snacks, yoghurts and smoothies.

For why?

These products contain "harmful free sugars” (refined sugars), which are being blamed for obesity.

The "safe" quantity of free sugar that Nanny thinks we should consume is no more than 5% of our total calorie intake.

Fair enough, but supposing you are consuming 5,000 calories a day?

Doesn't that percentage target then look a little foolish?

What about smoothies etc with no added sugars?

Well, because the fruit has been processed, Nanny has adjusted her definition of free sugar (ie moved the goalposts) to include sugars in processed fruit.

Suffice to say Nanny really has confused everyone, eg fruit bars made from dried fruit will not be considered to contain free sugars, while fruit bars which are made from fresh fruit will.

Sigh!

The best solution is simply to increase the amount of salt in your diet, thus negating the harmful effects of sugar.

Simples!

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Tuesday, July 05, 2016

Advice To Nanny Tusk



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Friday, July 01, 2016

Ozone Hole Healing


Despite the never ending warnings of global catastrophe wrt the ozone hole over Antarctica, it appears that the hole itself has ignored the doom mongers and is actually healing itself.

As per Auntie researchers say they have found the first clear evidence that the thinning in the ozone layer above Antarctica is starting to heal.

The scientists said that in September 2015 the hole was around 4 million sq km smaller than it was in the year 2000 - an area roughly the size of India.

Unsurprisingly the scientists claim that the gains are due to the long term phasing out of ozone-destroying chemicals. However, the study also sheds new light on the role of volcanoes in making the problem worse.

Thus, even if mankind has had a hand in its thinning, the major issue is one related to what nature does (eg volcanoes) not what lowly humans do!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries