Another Monday has appeared on the horizon, with all the depressing inevitability of an unloved season. As such it is time for my prestigious "Prats of The Week" Award.This week it goes to Nanny's chums in the Northamptonshire Police.
It seems that they are prepared to spend time, money and effort on investigating Basil Brush (a children's TV puppet, that has been entertaining generations of kids and their parents since the sixties).
Basil's crime?
Racism!
It seems that one of his shows featured a gypsy selling pegs and heather.
Needless to say, this provoked outrage amongst some members of the gypsy community, and at least two of them complained to the Northamptonshire force.
The police, clearly having solved all of the reported crime in Northamptonshire, having nothing better to do are therefore investigating the matter.
The programme features Basil's friend, Mr Stephen, falling under a gypsy spell which makes him attractive to women.
Dame Rosie Fortune, who lives above them, tries to sell Basil pegs and heather – but he turns her down.
She then offers to tell Basil's fortune, but he says:
"I went to a fortune teller once and he said I was going on a long journey."
Mr Stephen then asks him what happened, to which Basil replies:
"He stole my wallet and I had to walk all the way home."
Boom Boom!
The irony is that this episode was first shown on the BBC six years ago, and has been repeated eight times since. It is also available on DVD "Basil Unleashed".
Best rush out and buy it now, before the police ban it.
Seemingly the force are studying the video for evidence of the racism.
Joseph Jones, vice chairman of the Southern England Romany Gypsy and Irish Traveller Network, said:
"This sort of thing happens quite regularly and we are fed up with making complaints about stereotypical comments about us in words that we find racist or offensive.
Racist abuse of black people is quite rightly no longer deemed acceptable, but when a comedian makes a joke on TV about pikeys or gippos, there's no comeback.
Travellers have historically sold heather and pegs, but they don't do it anymore for a living. It could be that someone thought this was a kind of stereotyping."
When I was a student at Edinburgh University I was referred to on more than one occasion (in a jocular manner) as an "English bastard", yet I didn't go running to the police.
Why should I?
Had I done so, the police would quite rightly have pointed out that they had better things to do with their time.
Northamptonshire police, well deserving "Prats of The Week".
Once nanny has passed the legislation outlawing hunting, she will do her utmost to ensure that the letter of the law is followed.