Tis a grey and chilly Monday morning, still some hours to go before the first tincture of the day. Thus it is time to award my prestigious and internationally renowned "Prats of The Week" Award.
This week the judging panel were unanimous in their decision and can state, unequivocally and without any hesitation, that the award should go to Network Rail.
For why? I hear you ejaculate.
Aside from the obvious reason that our rail network is a shambles; Network Rail have ordered workers from Miller Construction, currently engaged on the Union Square mall (Aberdeen), to down tools.
The workers were, by all accounts, wearing the wrong colour of hard hats. They were wearing white, when in fact they should be blue.
Part of the construction is nearby a rail line from Aberdeen station, and Network Rail insist that white hats should be worn by people working near rail lines who have track safety certificates. Workers without the certificate should wear blue ones.
All very well, but at the end of the day a hard hat is a hard hat. Its purpose is to protect the wearer's bonce from injury; whether it is blue or white is irrelevant.
Even Nanny's Health and Safety Executive confirmed that there was no legislation relating to the colour of safety helmets.
A spokesman said:
"We don't care if they are blue, white or even pink as long as they meet safety requirements and people don't get brained when something falls on them."
One worker put it more bluntly:
"It is a load of bloody nonsense over nothing and it has been holding up our work."
Network Rail well deserving Prats of The Week.
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