Nanny Bans Clock Winding

I think one's only reaction when reading this piece of Nanny nonsense is to ejaculate (no, I didn't mean like that!)...the phrase...

"For Fark's Sake!"

It seems that the health and safety Gestapo have been up to their old tricks again, this time focusing their efforts on the Old Town Hall clock in Torquay.

Despite being ticking away merrily for the last 145 years or so, the clock is now deemed to be a health and safety hazard to those who wind it up.

Therefore Nanny has banned the winding of the clock.

The clock has been wound every week by a volunteer since 1862.

However, following a council "risk assessment" (whenever I hear that phrase I instinctively reach for my revolver) the 60ft clock tower was deemed unsafe and closed.

As said...

For Fark's Sake!

Nanny On The Cross

Nanny, as we all know, is very worried about causing religious offence.

She is keen to pass a bill that would outlaw any form of "religious hatred", needless to say precisely what constitutes "religious hatred" has yet to be defined.

As with everything that Nanny does, details are left to fate and to bureaucrats to decide.

In the spirit of her new found "religious zeal", Nanny has been getting rather worked up over the offence that the crucifix may cause to non Christians.

After all, we are a Christian country, it is very wrong of us to expect others to tolerate our beliefs and practices.

Nanny's chums in Torbay Council have decided that the display of a five foot crucifix in their crematorium is offensive, and therefore have decided to remove it.

It has also announced that the chapel would in future be known as the ceremony hall.

Alan Faulkner, Torbay Council's executive member for Environmental Services, said:

"We live in a diverse, multi-faith society and many people have no specific beliefs at all. The facility at Torquay Crematorium is a ceremony hall, it is not a chapel."

Mr Faulkner said that crematorium staff had received a number of requests to have the cross removed, even though this posed a danger to staff; who had to climb a ladder to take it down.

Ah ha!

Nanny had to break Health and Safety rules to remove the cross, maybe she will get sued?

Faulkner added:

"While I am a Christian, I fully support this decision as I recognise we have a duty as a council to cater for everyone. It is not our intention to offend or upset anyone by removing the cross from the wall."

Needless to say, Nanny has offended a large number of people.

However, as you may have already gathered, Nanny doesn't give a monkeys!