Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Nanny Bans Napkins

I assume that on reading the above title, you would naturally think that I had imbibed a tad too much of "falling down water".

However, I can confirm that this is not the case.

Nanny's chums in health and safety have cast their beady little eyes on the activities of a Gloucestershire firm of meals on wheels, which provides pensioners' meals.

The hapless company had tried to do a good deed, by providing free of charge paper napkins to their customers. These napkins would have safety information printed on them, such as; warnings about thieves and bogus traders.

However, Nanny is having none of this; only she is allowed to issue safety warnings.

The matter was raised at a meeting of the "crime and disorder reduction partnership", and duly huffed and puffed about.

The conclusion?

Nanny banned the company from issuing napkins.

The rationale?

The old folks might eat them...Obvious really isn't it?

The pensioners it seems were not impressed by this piece of Nanny nonsense; and insisted that they were capable of eating their meals without eating the napkins, or for that matter, the cutlery.

Unfortunately Nanny was having none of this, the napkins it seems were put through a rigorous risk assessment before being unleashed on the public at large.

Oddly enough, and how unsurprising, the napkins passed the risk assessment (no doubt conducted at great cost to the taxpayer); they are now freely available in the public domain.

Maybe this problem could have been avoided if the napkins had been printed with a warning:

DO NOT EAT THE NAPKINS

5 comments:

  1. Anonymous10:16 AM

    How about making civil servants and politicos personably liable for obvious fuck ups due to meddling and empire building? it maght actually make them think about the outcome of their dliberations(unlikly but faintly possable)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous11:20 AM

    I must stop reading this site - I don't think my brain can take any more of this stupidity.

    How on earth did we end up in this mess? How did we let idiots like these napkin freaks get into positions of authority? And what can we do about it?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous1:10 PM

    If Nanny actually banned all foodstuffs that were subject to "health" warnings, we would all be in the park eating grass.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous3:34 PM

    "In the park eating grass"????

    Dearie me NO!!!

    Think of the dangers of skin cancer, the dangers of people eating unsupervised, the danger of the grass not being properly labelled with proper warning labels and food advice, the abundant availability of grass and the potential for obesity.

    Tut tut!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous8:27 PM

    Hmmm, maybe the napkins taste better than the pigswill provided by the lowest bidder for the food contract. According to my parents in Bristol, that's highly possible, as they couldn't stomach the slop more than three days a week.
    It's academic for them now anyway as meals on wheels in the area have been cancelled to save money (presumably for Bristol Council to invest in more essential services like African dance lessons for lesbian travellers or another shipment of speed cameras)
    God help the elderly.

    ReplyDelete