Monday, April 16, 2007
The Health and Safety Gestapo Strike Again
Nanny's much "respected" Health and Safety Gestapo have struck again, blighting the lives of decent people who are just trying to make their lives a little more pleasant.
This time the Gestapo, aided and abetted by Nanny's lackeys in the local council, have called upon the good citizens of Everton in Nottinghamshire.
Seemingly the residents of Everton were about to risk their lives, and maybe the very future of the human race, by performing a life threatening act.
What was this act?
Testing and nuclear device?
Travelling in time?
Opening a crack house?
They were going to plant some flower beds beside a road.
Needless to say Nottinghamshire county council cannot allow such actions to go unchecked.
As I often ask, what the fark is the point of a local council?
Can anyone out there in cyberspace explain why we pay these people to interfere in our lives?
Anyhoo, Nottinghamshire county council have decreed that the flower beds represent a health and safety risk.
Health and safety risks need to be licensed and regulated.
The key word on the above is "licensed", because as we all know that a local council's sole raison d'etre (ooh, a posh phrase for a Monday morning!) is to tax people.
Seemingly when the village's parish council decided to plant flowerbeds by a main road, they didn't realise that they needed a "licence to cultivate".
On top of this "licence to cultivate", the hapless villagers were also told to submit a health and safety questionnaire and a risk assessment.
That was not the end of the nightmare for Everton. Once these had been granted, the plans then had to be approved by Nottinghamshire county council's landscape team.
Afet that the accident investigation department also had to be consulted, just in case the flower beds caused a motoring hazard.
Oh, I almost forgot, even if the good citizens of Everton had succeeded in jumping all of those hurdles they still would have to formally consult the utility companies just in case planting the beds caused them a problem.
Ooh, ooh, sorry there is also public liability insurance to be take into account. The cover for this by the way has to be at least £5M.
Whilst the 770 residents of Everton are a spirited and tenacious group, they recognise when they are defeated and in the end gave up.
Parish councillor Richard Bacon, said:
The expense of doing all this is totally
out of proportion with what we want to do.
We had planned a wooden border with top soil
beneath the hedgerow to make everything look lovely.
But the verge does belong to the council
so we needed permission.
Their response seems totally over the top.
Why do we need a risk assessment?
We've all got gardening skills."
Needless to say the jobsworths in the council don't give a fark.
"There are many health and safety concerns
relating to works on the highway.
The required licence to cultivate helps
to make sure that plants chosen do not reach a height
that will obscure motorists' visibility
and we insist that whoever carries out
the work has public liability insurance."
Who are they to "insist"?
They work for us, don't they?
Not the other way around.
The Nanny state is a blight on people's lives, it saps their individuality and initiative. We are no longer able to act without the "approval" of bureaucratic deadheads, whose own "lust for life" (can I use the word lust on this site?) long since withered on the vine.
A pox upon Nottinghmashire county council and Nanny, the sooner we are rid of them the better.
Feel free to vent your spleens upon Notimghamshire county council, via this link: email@example.com.
Here is a list of Nottinghamshire county councillors, their email addresses are firstname.lastname@example.org, knock yourselves out!