Cycle Helmets Are Bollocks

I am gemused to see that not only are cycle helmets ridiculous to look at and a licence to print money for the those who make them but, seemingly, they are useless as well.

Henry Marsh, a leading neurosurgeon, who works at St George’s Hospital in Tooting has claimed that cyclists who wear helmets are wasting their time.

It seems that many of his patients who have been involved in bike accidents have been wearing helmets that were ‘too flimsy’ to be beneficial.

Who would have thought that wearing a device resembling a tortoise shell made of papier mache would be so utterly useless?
 

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The Rise of The Machines

My thanks to a loyal reader who alerted me to a story about Nanny's chums from Thatcham (an industry funded research centre) that is seeking government support for a scheme to encourage motorists to buy cars with auto-emergency braking systems.

Thatcham's ‘Stop the Crash' campaign wants the Treasury to introduce and fund a £500 incentive for those choosing to buy new cars with AEB fitted.

Seemingly, as per Post, cars equipped with autonomous emergency braking have 18% fewer third party injury claims. An incentive to encourage drivers to buy cars with anti-crash technology would save 60 lives and result in 760 fewer serious casualties, in just three years, according to research by Thatcham.

That is all very nice if the systems work, and if the drivers of cars fitted with these devices don't become lapse in their driving as they become seduced by the "comfort" of thinking that the car will save them from stupid and dangerous driving.

The simple fact is to rely on the car, and complex computer systems, will take away the driver's need to be alert/vigilant and will add to the risks of accidents happening.

Additionally, were drivers not to tailgate or drive recklessly in fog and dangerous conditions in the first place such devices should not be required.

Handing over responsibility for driving to a machine is a risk in itself.

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The Rule Book

My thanks to a loyal reader who alerted me to story about Alan Chittock, an employee of Southend Central railway station, who leapt on to the track to help rescue a disabled woman whose wheelchair rolled onto the line.

Mr Chittock and three others jumped onto the line whilst other staff tried to alert signallers; they managed to save her before the other train arrived.

Now, as is the case with incidents of this nature, the rail operator (c2c) is conducting a formal investigation in order to identify exactly what happened and to try to see if there are any lessons that can be learned.

Sadly, this being an exercise by the "rule book", Mr Chittock has been suspended pending the outcome of the investigation.

Whilst the Mail fulminates that this is an injustice, its ire and that of Bob Crowe (never shy of wading into something if it will aid his political and personal ambitions) should be temporarily placed in stasis.

When accidents happen, investigations need to be carried out in order to determine the facts; it would be irresponsible of c2c not to conduct a thorough investigation. As to whether they handled the suspension of Mr Chittock with sensitivity or not it is not clear.

That being said, if the facts are as stated by Mr Chittock then after the investigation is concluded he deserves to be fully reinstated and awarded a commendation for acting as a human being not a robot.

Rule books are there for guidance, sometimes human instinct should be allowed to override the rules.


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Horsing Around

My thanks to a loyal reader who recently pointed me in the direction of a daft piece of Nanny nonsense concerning horses, Hi-Vis jackets worn by the horse rider and the words "POLITE" of "PLEASE" emblazoned across the Hi-Vis apparel.

Concerned about the number of accidents on the roads involving horses and cars etc, the British Horse Society has encouraged people to wear Hi-Vis jackets with the words "POLITE" or "PLEASE" to encourage drivers to give them some consideration etc.

Unfortunately some of the designs worn also includes a reflective blue and silver border.

Step forward the Association of Chief Police Officers, which has written to the British Horse Society warning them that the design too closely resembles the design of clothing worn by mounted policemen.

Assistant chief constable Ron Hanson, the association’s head of mounted policing, is quoted by the Mail:

"Anyone possessing these products is at risk of breaking the law, namely section 90 of the Police Act 1996.

Over recent months a number of examples of high visibility equine apparel have been brought to my attention. 

These articles have caused concern to the police on the grounds individuals wearing them are likely to be mistaken for a police officer."

I can see his point. However, unless the non police riders deliberately attempt to pass themselves off as police officers, is this not a case of an over reaction?

On the other hand, the wording and chequered borders seem somewhat unnecessary; how hard is it not to see a horse and rider in Hi-Vis?

I suspect that where accidents occur, this is either down to lousy driving or lousy horsemanship. The addition of the words "PLEASE" or "POLITE" will not make the slightest difference to such lousy driving/horsemanship.

There is of course a greater irony here, the original design was approved of by Met police commander Bob Broadhurst, the ACPO spokesman on mounted policing (my thanks to a loyal reader for pointing this out).

He is quoted by the Evening Standard as saying that the law would not be breached “provided there is no deliberate attempt to impersonate police” and added that even if the public were mistaken, the sight of people in high-visibility clothing would offer “reassurance”.

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The Dangers of Chests

My thanks to the good people of IKEA for their "clear", "easy to follow" and risk averse instructions booklet showing me how to assemble a chest of drawers.

I was particularly grateful for the pictogram warning that advised me against using the completed chest of drawers as a staircase/ladder (by pulling the drawers out to form a staircase).

Good risk averse advice indeed!

However, why on earth would I want to use the chest of drawers as a staircase/ladder in the first place?

Oh, and if anyone is wondering, I didn't complete a risk assessment before assembling the product and, owing to the absence of a hammer, used a log of wood to bang in the nails.

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Nanny Bans Accidents

I am gemused to see that the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents (RoSPA) has come out with the "startling" conclusion that if there were less accidents then there would be less injuries/deaths.

The BBC reports that RoSPA found that up to the age of 60, accidents were the leading cause of preventable years of life lost, accounting for 23% of the total.

That might, at a pinch, be true (although, as loyal readers know, Nanny tends to use very dodgy "research" to support her own views). However, it is a simple fact of the human condition that people are careless and that sometimes shit happens; ie accidents do happen.

This isn't deterring the CEO of RoSPA, Tom Mullarkey, who said that there is a "moral obligation" to prevent people dying before their time.

"Before their time"?

What does that actually mean?

Who determines what my time, or your time is?

Mr Mullarkey went on to say:

"We all know about diseases and the resources that are pumped into preventing the deaths they cause.

But if only a fraction of that resource was used to prevent accidents we would not be faced, as we are today, with an accident epidemic that's wiping out people in their prime."

I don't doubt Mr Mullarkey's good intentions but he seems to have slipped into hyperbole here, I see little hard evidence of vast swathes of the population being "wiped out" by accidents.

Factoid: Official figures show accidents account for just 2% of deaths in England and Wales - far behind cancer, and heart and respiratory disease.

Methinks his hyperbole, and today's PR about accidents, has something to do with the name of his organisation.

Accidents happen, that's a fact of life!

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Health and Safety Madness

As a country we have allowed ourselves to kowtow so much to Nanny's fear of risk that we now even allow people to drown, lest we flout a health and safety edict.

An ongoing hearing at Portsmouth Coroners’ Court has heard how in March 2011 Simon Burgess drowned in a 3ft deep lake in Gosport, when a policeman and a paramedic were ordered not to try to rescue him.

Mr Burgess was allowed to float face face down as emergency crews watched.

Seemingly health and safety rules stopped them going in to try to save him.

According to a doctor, Mr Burgess’s life might have been saved (a slim chance) had he been removed from the water quickly.

To the credit of both the police constable and the ambulance worker who arrived at the scene they both volunteered to go in to rescue him. However, they were firmly ordered by fire station watch manager, and by the police control room not to do so (the rationale being that it was assumed that Mr Burgess was already dead).

The inquest heard that there was a 28 minute delay before Mr Burgess was pulled from the water after the first phone call was made.

As a country we have gone raving mad under Nanny's rule!

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The Dangers of Football

Football, as Septic Bladder and various superinjunction wielding players know, can be ruinous wrt one's personal reputation.

Sadly, Tom Clarke (15) recently found this out as well.

Tom was recently having a kickabout with his cousin in his garden in Chalgrove.

Can you guess what happened next?

Yes, that's right, the ball went through a neighbour's greenhouse.

Being a teenager, Tom legged it.

Now at this stage, were people behaving in a reasonably "human" way one would have assumed that at some stage an angry neighbour would have appeared at the front door demanding an apology and restitution etc.

This of course is Nanny Britain and therefore, for reasons that are not clear (it could be that there is ongoing friction between the neighbours), the neighbour reported it to the police.

One therefore might assume that a friendly copper would have turned up and "had a word", thus defusing the situation.

Errmmm...no, not quite!

Can you guess what happened next?

Yes, that's right, a police patrol car, two officers and the Thames Valley police helicopter (complete with thermal imaging cameras) were dispatched.

Unsurprisingly, with all these resources, officers did manage to track Tom down.

What did they then do?

Tick him off, have a word with his dad?

No, they told Tom that the incident had been recorded as criminal damage and could be revealed to future employers carrying out record checks.

Errmm, am I being terribly soft here, is this not an overreaction to a simple accident?

It never happened like this when Dennis The Menace trashed his neighbour's greenhouse!

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Potty!

Phillip Darnton, chief executive of Cycling England, an agency funded by the Department for Transport (DfT) to promote cycling, recently came up with a particularly "potty" idea.

He wants changes made to road rules that would make the driver of the most powerful vehicle involved in a collision automatically liable for insurance and compensation in civil law.

Therefore if a car hit a cyclist, the presumption of blame would fall on the driver, while a cyclist would automatically be blamed if they knocked down a pedestrian.

All very well, if the fault lies with the driver of the "most powerful vehicle". However, what about cases where the cyclist or pedestrian is clearly at fault?

There are more than one or two cyclists who happily ride down one way streets the wrong way, or jump red lights. Not to mention certain idiotic pedestrians who jump out into the road on the assumption that a car or cycle can stop within a nano second.

This scheme, were it ever to be adopted, would provide a charter for every insurance scam merchant in the country.

Quite potty!

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Nanny's Insurance Scam

You know how Nanny's local councils are always putting the mockers on events and activities organised by their local residents, by insisting that insurance cover (to the value of at least £5M) is purchased?

Well here is a wee irony for you.

As and when someone has the temerity to claim against council insurance, the council won't pay up.

Such was the case for Mark Jones of Normacot, who having left his car on Hamilton Road on 19 December found that it had been hit by a bin lorry which had skidded on the ice.

Mr Jones duly made a claim of £2K for damage done to his vehicle, but was surprised to find out that the council's insurers (Zurich) refused to pay up.

For why?

Because the road was icy!

A council spokesman said:

"We are sorry to hear of this accident but our insurers have not accepted the claim.

This is because there was no negligence on the part of our driver who was driving very slowly, carefully and cautiously in icy conditions."

So there you have it, insurance companies used by local councils will not pay up where they determine that the person who caused the accident was being careful.

Isn't that the definition of an accident, ie a cock up that is no one's fault?

In other words they won't pay when there is an accident!

Isn't that what insurance is meant to cover?

As I have said before, insurance companies are screwing local councils (ie the local tax payers) right up the posterior, because they see them as a soft touch; and the local councils are bending over and taking it without any fuss.

Truly a rip off, perpetrated on the long suffering local taxpayer by the councils and the insurance companies!

FYI, the insurance companies are next in line for the toxic contagion that has hit the banking sector. Then all the dodgy practices of our "safe/reliable" insurance companies (these being the same companies to sold endowment polices) will come out in the open, like pus from a scab.

You heard it here first!

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The Doormat Inspectors

This story has rather struck a chord with me, as a very similar thing happened in our apartment block.

Stanley Samuels, a resident of Brookshill Gate in Harrow, recently received a letter from his management company telling him to get rid of his doormat because it was a trip hazard.

In fact all the residents of Brookshill Gate received written notification from HML Hawksworth saying that they are no longer allowed to have front doormats, as they are seen to be a trip hazard.

Mr Samuels said:

"They hand delivered letters to all of us, they said that if we have got a mat they will throw it away.

I thought it was ridiculous but rather than my mat being thrown away, I've brought mine inside.

When visitors come to stay, I just want to them to be able to wipe their feet and not make my carpet dirty.

The whole world has gone mad if you think about it, all the things we used to be able to do we are not allowed to anymore.

I've lived here for three years and no one has tripped over a mat, or broken their leg or anything.

The law with the mats is part of health and safety rules which applies to flats like these, but it appears the law is wrong.

How many people have fallen over their mats in a mad rush to get out?"

The 18-flat complex is home to residents of all ages.

The letter said:

"Following a recent health and safety site inspection it has been bought to our attention that you have a doormat in the communal parts of the building.

Please can you remove the doormat as this is a breach of health and safety regulations.

Please be advised that if the doormat is not removed we will have no choice but to remove the doormat in due course."

As you can see, Nanny was even threatening to steal the mat if her orders are not obeyed. She can't do that!

The reason that this strikes a chord with me is that exactly the same thing happened in our apartment block last year. Nanny's rules require that there is a health and safety inspection by "experts" (third parties who have set themselves up to make easy money from Nanny's rules).

Our "expert" produced a weighty report that contained many photos of "dangerous" mats, a firedoor propped open (to allow painting to be done that day) etc. We were told to have our mats removed.

Here's where it gets good...I am on the board (now chairman) of our management company...ahah!.

The "expert" was duly told to fark off, and that any attempt to remove my mat would be met with lethal force!

We have of course ignored the doormat inspector's report.

Interestingly, a few months after his visit, it was discovered that in one block the fire alarm system could not be heard on the upper floor, the emergency lighting didn't work and that outer wall studding was loose thus presenting a genuine risk of things falling off the building.

Our doormat inspector (who allegedly was here to provide us with a health and safety report) found none of those genuine risks.

The truth is that many of the so called "experts" who claim to offer health and safety advice/reports are nothing more than amateur scam merchants, feeding off Nanny's ill thought out health and safety legislation.

There are genuine experts who do provide a very necessary and useful service, unfortunately thanks to the actions of the scam merchants the public now regard all such members of that profession with contempt and ridicule.

Nanny is making a complete fool of herself, and deserves to be held in the highest possible contempt.

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Binmens' Bears Banned

Ah, the sweet smell of schadenfreude (a new fragrance from the House of Frost).

Having read a number of stories about binmen who won't remove rubbish because the bins were up steps, or too heavy or contained cabbage stalks, or goodness knows what; it is refreshing to see that the binmen are now getting a taste of their own medicine from the Health and Safety Gestapo at Haringey Council in North London.

It seems that those little teddy bears, that you see attached to dustbin lorries, are deemed by Nanny's Health and Safety Gestapo to be a health and safety issue.

No, not a health and safety issue to the teddy bears and not to the binmen; but to children, who may be tempted to rush over and nick the bear.

"Officials", I always laugh when I see that word (it usually means some jobsworth in a quasi junior bureaucratic role, not anyone with any real role in life), claim that a child could be injured running out into the road to grab a toy.

The binmen are upset, and say that the ban is "ludicrous". They will fight the ban, even if it means going on strike.

Quell surprise!

Doug Taylor, general manager of Haringey Enterprise, is standing firm and has issued a written edict:

"Quite why adults would wish to decorate their vehicles this way is frankly beyond me.

These items could attract children who may run into the road and suffer injury. On the grounds of health and safety and presenting a professional image of our company, I want all such decorations disposed of with immediate effect."

National organiser of the GMB Onion, sorry I mean Union, Justin Bowden said:

"I've never heard of this happening before. It's absolutely crackers and completely unjustified. These managers have taken leave of their senses. It's just ludicrous.

Collecting refuse is a dirty, mundane and repetitive business. The lads like a mascot because it brightens up their day and gives the wagon a little bit of individuality. It's become a tradition over the years and I don't think my members will take too kindly to being told to drop it."

Ah the threat of two fingers, where have I seen that before?

Oh yes, my previous article!

One dustman said:

"There are lots of ways an accident could happen on the round but a child jumping in front of the truck to grab a teddy definitely isn't one of them.

The bosses would be better off concentrating on real health and safety issues such as the weight of rubbish we have to lift and avoiding getting knocked down by impatient motorists."

Ah, the sweet smell of schadenfreude (a new fragrance from the House of Frost).

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Nanny Bans Bunting

The Health and Safety Gestapo have donned their jackboots again, and recently put the boot into a little piece of harmless village history.

Each year, Hatfield Broad Oak in Essex holds an annual festival and garnishes itself with bunting and brightly coloured flags.

The festival has fundraising events, floral displays, a dog show, a craft fair, a dance and a 10km run and raises about £10,000 a year for local groups and charities.

This year the decorations have had to be abandoned.

Why?

Health and safety!

Nanny's chums in Essex Highways are concerned that the bunting presents a threat to people's health and safety. The festival has been run for decades without any bunting disasters.

Janet Pugh, a member of the festival organising committee, said:

"Every year we've put up bunting across the road in Hatfield Broad Oak, high enough not to interfere with the passing traffic, but last year someone complained about it to Essex Highways.

The bottom line is that Essex Highways said we didn't have a licence.

We filled in application forms for a licence but the red tape involved is so complicated.

All we want to do is put up a little bit of bunting to celebrate our festival week which raises money for the church. It's a few flags for a maximum of 10 days.

They seem to link bunting in with elaborate Christmas lights – if this was Oxford Street you could understand it."

The health and safety rules mean that the festival's organisers would have to use fixed points on buildings using stainless steel eyebolts that have to undergo rigorous wind and stress tolerance testing.

Leigh Trevitt, a parish councillor, said:

"We use common sense when we put up the bunting. Of course we are concerned about safety, but there has never been any accidents. We are talking about a piece of string with flags on it, nothing heavy, it's ludicrous.

Our village is a little piece of old England and if we are not careful we will lose all our rights."

Commonsense does not apply in Nanny's Britain, she banned it!

As Mr Trevitt says, if we are not careful we will lose all our rights.

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The Lost Generation

The most unpleasant aspect of the Nanny state, that afflicts us all, is the creeping sense of fear that now permeates our society; brought about by never ending Nanny campaigns about the dangers of food, fat, smoking, drink, crime, accidents etc and the compliant headline grabbing media that seek to reinforce Nanny's message.

It should therefore come as no surprise to learn that the fear which permeates adult society is being passed on to the next generation, as it is reported that scared parents have banned their children from cycling.

A staggering 81% of parents ban their children from cycling on their own, or allow them to do so only on their street.

Parents are fearful that their children will have an accident (accidents are part of growing up), they also claim that their children lack the confidence and skill to take to the road.

There are two very obvious reasons as to why their kids lack confidence:

1 They are not allowed to learn through error and mistakes, and are picking up their parents' fears.

2 They are not sent to classes designed to teach them how to cycle on the road.

These parents, by their actions, are breeding a nation of scared, overweight, lazy individuals.

Nanny has created a lost generation.

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The New "Superbug"

I see that there is an alleged new "superbug" at large in the community. Seemingly it resides in school playgrounds, parks and other public areas.

Over the last year or so 10 kids have caught this "superbug" from cuts and grazes that they have incurred whilst playing, and regrettably died.

Cue stage left shrill calls for Nanny do to more to stop this.

Prepare yourselves for warnings about the dangers of letting children play in public, and some form of unworkable "deep clean" policy to be announced.

The reality is, we are surrounded by bugs; it is part of growing up to be exposed to them, and to fight them off.

The alleged rise of a "superbug" is most likely the result of:

1 Children not being given jabs and booster jabs for basic bugs, such as tetanus.

2 Children living in ultra clean environments that do not expose them to ordinary bugs, thus reducing the effectiveness of their immune systems.

3 Insufficient use of Dettol and TCP on cuts and grazes immediately after the accident.

The "superbug" is not a threat to children, it's the cotton wool that Nanny and some over protective parents wrap the kids in that is the danger.

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Contemptible and Loathsome

One of the worst aspects of living in the Nanny state is the fact that Nanny's bad habits are adopted by many other people, as they seek to blame others for their own failings or simple bad luck.

Here is, in my view, a text book example of how Nanny is negatively impacting the behaviour of people living in this country.

Mr and Mrs Boardman (in their eighties) who live in Lincolnshire called paramedics last year when Mrs Boardman, who has heart trouble, fell ill.

When one of the ambulance workers (a technician) went to collect a stretcher from the ambulance, he fell over in the Boardmans' driveway.

Can you guess what is happening now?

Yes, that's right, this person (I have thought of using various fine Anglo Saxon words to describe him, but am containing myself) now wants to sue them.

The Boardmans have received a letter from his solicitors saying that he is seeking damages for personal injury.

The East Midlands Ambulance Service appear to be washing their hands of the matter, and claim that he is pursuing the matter in his own right. This implies that his work insurance policy does not cover this claim, which in itself speaks volumes about the credibility of the claim in the first place (ignoring the fact that he is trying to claim off the Boardmans).

Unsurprisingly neither the technician nor his solicitors were available for comment, too shame faced I would imagine.

However, the letter from his solicitor to the Boardmans says that the technician fell when the couple's security light flickered out.

Needless to say this disgraceful and contemptible claim is causing the Boardmans a lot of stress. Jim Boardman said:

"I think it's morally wrong.

There are other side issues to be considered... people could be reluctant to call the public services and it brings into disrepute an organisation which I've got the greatest admiration for."

Now, if you didn't think that this was bad enough, read what Unison (The Public Sector union) has to say on the matter!

Carol Brown from Unison said:

"I can't comment on this specific case because I don't know if this worker is one of our members but if our members are injured during work then of course the union would support them.

I can understand people finding it hard to believe but of course if someone is injured during work then somebody has got to take liability."

Read this bit again:

"If someone is injured during work then somebody has got to take liability."

BOLLOCKS!

No they don't!

This is the very essence of Nanny in her worst form.

Accidents happen; sometimes because of negligence, sometimes because of people's own stupidity and sometimes because of sheer bad luck.

Using accidents as an excuse to screw people for money is contemptible.

The union are loathsome scumbags for condoning this kind of morally reprehensible behaviour.

Are we now to assume that all emergency services will first have to conduct a risk assessment of a caller and their home, before they will attend an incident or emergency?

Mark my words, that is where this is leading.

Needless to say, the Boardmans say they are now reluctant to call the emergency services.

Nanny has destroyed our society!

The Lights Are Going Out All Over Britain

Nanny's chums, in her "beloved" local councils, are forever looking for ways to save money.

Nothing wrong with that, except that:

1 Our council tax bills just keep rising, irrespective of "savings"

2 One major cost, defined benefit pensions for all council staff, is never touched

Anyhoo, Nanny's local councils have come up with a jolly wheeze to save some money; they are going to start turning off street lamps.

Needless to say, Nanny is also keen to emphasise the "green" "benefits" of this "initiative".

How funny that "green" is the new mantra of our lords and masters in the councils. Do not fall for that, it is merely a good excuse for them to brow beat us and impose more rules, regulations and taxes.

Councils in certain parts of the country are experimenting with turning off some street lights, the trials are ad hoc - each is doing it differently.

• Buckinghamshire has selected sites that are "low-risk" and has added solar road studs, extra signs and road markings.



• Gloucestershire County Council will be turning off 36% of its lighting part-time, but not on main traffic routes or areas of high crime.



• Essex is carrying out "part-night lighting" trials in Maldon District and in Uttlesford.

Nanny may need to be reminded of a little piece of history; gas street lights were first introduced to the UK in 1807, in response to people's fears about safety and the need to actually see where they were going.

When the blackouts were in place (1914/18 and 1939/45) the level of crime (robberies, rapes, assaults etc) and accidents skyrocketed.

Would Nanny and her chums in the councils care to tell us why, in 2008, things are going to be different if we are put back to blackout conditions?

The Police Superintendents' Association thinks that the idea is bollocks, and says that good street lighting deters crime and reduces accidents.

To paraphrase Sir Edward Gray, on the eve of the First World War:

"The lights are going out all over Britain, they may not be lit again in my lifetime."

Look what happened to the country as a result of that disaster!

A Fishy Tale

Something fishy is going on in the ENGLISH Channel (I am a firm believer in annoying the Europhiles by emphasising the "English" part of the name), and it's all down to Nanny's love affair with the cod.

Nanny and her acolytes (celeb chefs and green campaigners) have been telling us for a very long time that the cod was in danger; as such, strict quotas have been introduced to prevent over fishing.

Fair enough.

The trouble is, when Nanny introduces a rule she doesn't apply it with any form of common sense.

As such, hundreds of kilos of dead cod (caught by fishermen seeking other fish) have to be thrown back into the ENGLISH Channel in order to keep within Nanny's rules.

The fish are caught by accident by fishermen seeking Dover sole and other fish etc etc, the cod die after catching their gills in the nets and are then thrown back into the water.

ENGLISH Channel fishermen are also well pissed off that their cod quota is less than one tenth of the French quota, which is more than 70% of the total. French fishermen can land 3,377 tons of cod a year while British fishermen are limited to 366 tons.

There you have it folks, Nanny sticks up for cod and the French but not for her own people.

Elf 'n Safety

Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat (if Nanny hasn't put him on a diet) etc.

As we move inexorably towards the season of festive fun and frolics, Nanny's Elf 'n Safety Gestapo are on the march again.

This time they have put their size ten jackboots into Santa's sleigh. Nanny is worried that Santa may fall off his sleigh, which travels at a mind boggling 5 mph, and have ordered him to belt up.

Recall the halcyon days when a man with a red flag had to walk in front of a car, lest it run someone over?

Nanny brings those memories flooding back with her prissy attitude to Santa's sleigh.

Anyhoo, Santa's visits to Halesowen West Midlands have been organised by Halesowen and Rowley Regis Rotary Club every year for 20 years. Unfortunately our old friends in the money grasping world of insurance almost put paid to Santa emptying his sack (can I say that here?), when they issued an edict saying he must wear a seat belt and upped the premiums accordingly.

Fortunately a modification to his sleigh was made, a harness was added.

Rotary president Barry Wheeler was not that impressed with the Elf 'n Safety knobheads.

Quote:

"We have done the sleigh round the towns

for something like 18 to 20 years.

Every year we have made sure Santa gets to

go through the town and wave to the children.

But this year we found out we actually

needed a much more wide-ranging insurance

policy for Santa riding on the sleigh

because of health and safety rules.

It would have run into a four-figure sum

which we just couldn't afford to pay.

We pay for the Santa sleigh visits out

of the club funds,

not from the collections we do.

But even club funds couldn't run

to the huge amount the insurance wanted.

It just seemed ridiculous, especially

because he doesn't actually ride on

the sleigh that often.

The sleigh is towed from place to place

by a Land Rover. Santa only usually gets

on once we get to the place of choice

and then the sleigh is towed at a rather

stately 5mph.

He would be more likely to injure himself

getting in and out of the sleigh than

actually falling out of it."

Insurance companies are getting away with murder these days, thanks to Nanny's zero risk policies and people's greed and desire to sue for the slightest accident/bit of bad luck.

Break a Leg

I am not the only person who believes that the Health and Safety Gestapo have gone too far in their campaign to wrap us in cotton wool, and thus exert control over us.

No less a person than Tom Mullarkey, head of the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents, has said that health and safety "extremists" are preventing children from leading a healthy and robust lifestyle.

Mullarkey waded into the "small-minded bureaucrats" by saying that they were guilty of undermining genuine health and safety work.

Quote:

"But people have this perception of 'elf and safety'

as something that restricts your life,

rather than helping you to live fully and successfully.

Our argument is that a skinned knee or a twisted ankle

in a challenging and exciting play environment

is not just acceptable, it is a positive necessity.

We need to prepare children for a complex,

dangerous world in which healthy, robust activity

is more a national need than ever before.

We think people should climb mountains,

and sail boats - we are trying to help them in a practical way."

Exactly!

Unfortunately the small minded bureaucrats who run the health and safety Gestapo will not listen. They need to be dealt with with a firm hand, once and for all.