The Bare Faced Cheek of Gnomes

My sympathies to Lauren Perry, a keen gardener living in Wistatston, who has been ordered by Cheshire East council to remove two garden gnomes from outside his house.

For why?

They are baring their backsides to passersby and risk distracting motorists. 

Mr Perry got a stern letter from officials claiming the gnomes could cause a "distraction" to motorists as they light up at night, and warning they would cause an accident.

They told Mr Perry to clear the offending items within seven days or workman would be called out to remove them - and bill him for the cost.

The letter, from Cheshire East Council senior highways officer Andrea Bickerton, is quoted by the Telegraph:

"It has been brought to our attention that several ornamental displays and items have been placed on the highway verge in Wistaston.

I am sure that your intentions are meant to be humorous and light-hearted. Unfortunately, not everyone shares the same sentiment.

You are required to therefore remove them at your earliest opportunity. If you fail to remove them, the Council will remove them and recover from you the expense of doing so."

The question is, who the hell reported the gnomes to Nanny?

Mr Perry said:

"I feel very disappointed. My daughter bought them for Father's Day as a bit of fun as she knows I like a laugh. These things are in discount stores in their hundreds on shelves.

How can they be classed as offensive? I put them up two weeks ago - no one ever approached me to complain or ask for them to be removed. The next thing I know, this heavy-handed letter arrives.

I've worked with others for four years to turn a piece of land which had been left overgrown, covered in broken bottles and bricks, into a more attractive area. It's all been self-funded as we were turned down for funding by the parish council.

We even bought the sign that says 'Wonderful Wistaston' - now I feel like replacing it with one that says 'Miserable Wistaston'.

All we've tried to do over the past four years is improve the area where we live - and it's all been self-funded. I could get many more volunteers if I wanted, the support on the whole in the village has been tremendous.

But not from the parish council. There are certain people who have lived in communities for many years who don't like newcomers, regardless of their experience.

We placed a nice colourful bench on the land, and it was ripped up a few weeks later for no reason! 

We've put it back since, and concreted it in."

A Cheshire East Council spokesman said:

"While we do not wish to spoil people's fun, there is a safety issue here as such objects could easily cause a distraction to motorists and other road users, leading to an accident.

We received a complaint about these ornaments which, while seemingly harmless, are designed to attract attention and light up at night.

Therefore, we have to take steps to have them removed in the interests of road safety and the safety of pedestrians."

A very sad individual with too much time on his/her hands must have reported it. Such individuals are Nanny's eyes and ears!

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