Plod

Congratulations to Nanny's state police force, for once again demonstrating how effectively (I am sorry, I meant to say "ineffectively") they prioritise their work.

Derbyshire police, who I believe we have featured on this site before, have clearly solved all their mainstream criminal investigations (eg assault, muggings and robbery); as they have found the time and resources to arrest a grandmother, for stealing a £60 football which landed in her back garden.

Angela Hickling, 56, from Heanor, was arrested on suspicion of theft over the lost ball.

It seems that her neighbour Christopher Salisbury reported her to the police, when he claimed that his sons had kicked the ball into her garden and she refused to return it.

Mrs Hickling told the BBC police arrived at her home in August, and she told officers she had looked for the ball but could not find it.

The police then took time to search her home!

Can you believe this?????

It's a football for fark's sake!!!!

She was then taken into custody, where she underwent a 15 minute interview and had her fingerprints and DNA sample taken.

I assume that Derbyshire has no other crime whatsoever then????

Needless to say, the Crown Prosecution Service has said it is not pursuing the case.

Derbyshire Police said that the complaint, by Mrs Hickling and her husband John, was being investigated and until that inquiry had been completed they would not comment further.

Well done lads.

Happy St George's Day

Happy St George's Day folks!

In keeping with Nanny's strict rules, Nanny hates the English, St George's Day is not a holiday in England.

Sometimes she even tries to ban people celebrating it privately. This year a St George's Day parade in Ilkeston has been cancelled, after organisers claimed they were told to pay £20,000 for a police presence.

Richard Dawson, of Ilkeston St George's Day Association, said that he had been forced to cancel the event as the bill would have taken money from good causes.

Derbyshire Police counter claim that they had no problem with the daytime parade, but claimed that there were security problems involving a "Right-wing element" during the evening entertainment last year.

They also disputed the cost figure quoted by Mr Dawson:

"The total cost that would have been put to him

in terms of policing would be no more than £2,500,

which would pay for six officers for an eight-hour period."

A spokesman for Erewash council said that Mr Dawson's 2006 event breached a temporary licence, and led to complaints from residents.

"The event last year went over the set time limit."

The above story indicates that there are some "differences of opinion" as to the facts on this one. I would be grateful if anyone can post some details on the above, so that we can see a clearer picture.

However, here are a few reasons to be proud to be English:

1 We gave the world the English language, the language of choice for international business discussions.

2 We gave the world parliamentary democracy.

3 We were the first country in the modern world to abolish slavery.

4 We gave the world America (no smart arsed comments please:)).

5 We gave the world cricket and football.

Please feel free to add to the list.

Happy St George's Day!

Prat of The Week

It has been a while since I have awarded my prestigious "Prat of The Week Award", and therefore high time that I did.

Therefore, with a shrill blast on the trumpet, this week's Prat of The Week Award goes to...

The Chief Constable of Derbyshire, David Coleman.

Why?

He refused, earlier this month, to publish photos of two wanted murderers Jason Croft and Michael Nixon. Coleman claimed that the killers posed 'no risk' to locals, and the the force said that it had to consider the Human Rights Act and data protection laws when asked to publish 'wanted' photographs of the two men.

As the media were quick to note, this caring attitude to people is in contrast to Coleman's attitude towards speeding drivers. One hapless victim of Coleman's anti speeding clampdown was a 62 year old, who was jailed after being caught doing 38mph in a 30mph zone.

Jimmy Leckey, the father of 19 year old bludgeoned to death by Nixon in 1995, said that Coleman and his force needed to 'sort their priorities out'. He also noted that the police had not bothered to contact him to say his son's killer was on the run, even though he might be the victim of a revenge attack.

Mr Leckey said:

"This is madness, totally ridiculous.

The police should be out there catching

dangerous criminals rather than chasing motorists.

And to suggest they had to consider Nixon's

human rights is unbelievable.

He is a convicted murderer.

What about my human rights and my son's human rights?"

Nixon and Croft had absconded from Sudbury open prison in Derbyshire two months ago, and the police were asked to provide photos. However, Derbyshire police force said that there was 'no proper policing purpose' in releasing pictures and claimed the men posed no risk to Derbyshire residents because they were thought to have left the county.

So that's alright then?

Even Lord Forkbender, Lord Chancellor, stated that Coleman's refusal was 'absolute nonsense'.

Happily, some police forces are not so daft.

Greater Manchester Police instead released the photos of the two men together, with an appeal for information.

My congratulations to them.

Shami Chakrabarti, director of Liberty, also thought that Coleman's decision was bollocks.

Quote:

"Nothing in the Human Rights Act prevents publishing pictures

to capture a fugitive on the contrary,

the rights of potential victims may create an obligation to do so."

A well deserved award this week, methinks!

Blunkett's Bonkers

Oh dear, it seems that the pressure of living up to Nanny’s expectations is beginning to get to one of her lackey’s.

Her dear friend, David “trial without jury” Blunkett seems to be on the verge of a political nervous breakdown and a career implosion.

Need I remind you, that this is the man who claims to value the probity of the law above all else; yet, if the accusations in the press are to be believed, he seems to have taken leave of his senses and has used his office for the benefit of his mistress (Mrs Quinn, not Nanny) rather than for the benefit of the public.

Among the accusations, flying around this weekend, are reports that during his affair with Spectator publisher Kimberly Quinn he:

• Used his position to help Mrs Quinn's former nanny (another Nanny, good grief they are everywhere!) to obtain permission to live in Britain.



• Shared confidential information with her, advising her to tell her parents to avoid a US airport hours before a security scare and telling her in advance about a police raid in Manchester



• Ordered a policeman to stand guard outside her Mayfair home during a May Day anti-capitalist demonstration



• Gave her a first-class rail ticket assigned to him for his work as an MP, and used his government chauffeur to drive her to meet him at his Derbyshire home



• Put pressure on the US Embassy to issue a temporary passport for her son in 2003
  Took her to Spain for a wedding accompanied by four bodyguards and a driver paid for by the taxpayer

As if to pour salt into his own wounds, clearly a man of great moral backbone, he is also seeking to use his own laws to prove the paternity of Mrs Quinn’s two children (a toddler, and her yet to be born child). Mrs Quinn insists that they are her husband’s; however, Blunkett knows best and believes that they are in fact his.

This will get very ugly, and Nanny is going to be highly embarrased.

The question is, do you believe that a man who has clearly taken leave of his senses should be making the law up as he goes along?

As ever with Nanny, it is a case of do as I say not do as I do!

Never mind David, Nanny will kiss it better!