Blairy ASBO's Brown

Blairy Poppins is so pleased with the "success" of ASBO's, that she has decided to ASBO her nuisance neighbour Gordon Smiler Brown.

Blairy is really fed up with Smiler's constant attempts to hog the headlines.

We all know that, as far as Blairy is concerned, she bestrides the world like a colossus; and is less than happy to have Smiler muscling in making pronouncements on world poverty, Tsunamis or indeed co-operate with authors who write less than flattering accounts of life in the Number 10 Bunker.

Therefore, Blairy has applied for an ASBO to be placed on Smiler; forbidding him to be anywhere near Blairy during important meetings, and media events.

The first such meeting where Smiler will be ASBO'ed is the Davos World Economic Forum, which Blairy will attend on 27 January; Smiler is forbidden from attending.

Who said that ASBO's were just for the impoverished underclass?