The Tax Gluttons

Nanny has a rather Calvinistic streak, she disapproves of wealth; rather she disapproves of others who are wealthy, and constantly seeks ways to denude these people of their money.

One of Nanny’s friends, Paul Goggins the Prisons Minister, has come up with a real “doozy” of a plan for redistributing wealth.

He has proposed that wealthy people, convicted of non imprisonable crimes, should pay more in fines for the same offence than those with less money.

Nanny Goggins says, and I quote, that this new system would make fines “fairer”.

Nanny’s new criminal tariff includes the following:

• The maximum fine for an offence like failing to stop after an accident would triple to £15,000



• The maximum fine in a magistrates' court will rise to £15,000 for an adult, from £1,000 to £3,000 for offenders aged 14-17 and from £250 to £750 for under 14s

In order to ensure that the Treasury gets as much money as possible from this new stealth tax, Nanny Goggins is also changing the rules on imprisonment.

Nanny has stuffed the prisons so full of people, even though she says that crime is falling, that she has decided that no more people can in fact be sent to prison.

Therefore, in future, judges have been asked not to send so many people to jail when they are sentencing.

This is excellent news for Nanny and “Smiler” Brown, as it means that they can fine them instead!