Nanny's Big Brother House

Nanny, as we all know, claims to want to protect us from the evils of the world. She believes that there are many naughty people out there, wishing to do us harm; some cynics might argue that some of these threats are a direct consequence of Nanny’s "foreign adventures".

However, let us not concern ourselves with facts and causalities.

Fearing for our safety, Nanny has put one of her most "trusted" and "capable" friends on the job; dear old Lord Falconer, of The Dome, has been given the task of ensuring that the law protects us from evildoers.

Those of you with a good memory will recall that Lord Falconer of The Dome, single-handedly rescued Nanny from the Dome fiasco; by ensuring that all the blame for the taxpayer being saddled with the cost of this monstrous white elephant, fell upon his broad shoulders.

What a friend Nanny has in Lord F!

Now Lord F is working with Fungus Clarke on Nanny’s brilliant new wheeze, “House Arrest”. This is where people can be placed under house arrest without any form of trial.

Lord F discussed this proposal on Breakfast With Frost (not me, the other one!) by saying:

"That is not internment. That is not a police state. That is a sensible measure..".

However, some people are a little concerned about this “innovation”; likening it to similar practices used by third world dictatorships. Even Nanny’s own attorney-general has warned that the scheme is illegal.

Fear not my friends, Lord F had a plan.

Nanny Knows Best can exclusive reveal that Lord F will be adding a unique feature to the house arrest scheme; to provide “clear blue water” between it and other house arrest methods, used by third world tin pot dictatorships.

British house arrest will mean being incarcerated in the Big Brother House with Jade Goody, John McCririck and Sylvester Stallone’s mum. The house would be shown live on E4, 24 hours a day.



Lord F believes that this "populist measure" will satisfy the "bleeding heart liberals" and provide, via sponsorship, a much needed fillip to government funds.

However, not all are convinced as to the benefits of this new scheme; a spokesman from Amnesty said:

"They shoot horses don’t they?".

What do you think Ladies and Gentlemen?

Are you proud that Britain is adopting a method of imprisonment used by third world dictatorships?