One of the dangers of living in the Nanny Sate for so long, is the fact that we start to behave like Nanny and begin to feel her fear of risk; psychiatrists call this phenomenon "transference".
In other words, we become Nanny!
Much like the collision of two vast celestial bodies, we are privileged to witness two events which are happening simultaneously. These events, according to the media and other organisations seeking some form of credibility (the Tories, Liberals, Vets, and police), pose an enormous threat to Britain; in fact, were you to believe the shrill hysteria of the media and related bodies, we face the very end of civilisation as we know it.
What has caused our normally sober, and "professional", media to work themselves up into such hysteria?
None other than the "two horses of the apocalypse"; avian flu and extended licensing laws.
Were you to believe the lurid headlines plastered across the media; a large percentage of the British population will be wiped out by avian flu, brought to this country on the wings of migratory geese, the remainder will be murdered by a drink fuelled mob debauched by 24 hour drinking and excessive imbibing of Bacardi Breezers.
I am sorry, but I for one am unmoved by the scare stories irresponsibly pumped out by the media and latched on to by organisations with their own political agenda.
With respect to avian flu, the majority of our farmed birds are in fact not free range (hence the risk of a major uncontrolled outbreak is lessened). Additionally, even if every single bird in the UK were to become infected, the flu virus would still be harmless to humans until it mutated.
In the event of a mutation and an outbreak of human "bird flu", quarantine measures will be put in place; and we as a nation will have to put up with a few months of inconvenience.
We will though, survive it.
With regard to extended opening hours, I can do no better than refer you to my earlier article on the subject "Drinking Hysteria".
My message to our "professional" media and those others who seek to gain political and economic advantage, by needlessly scaring the general public about the "two horsemen of the apocolypse", is that you should be thoroughly ashamed of yourselves.
Nanny spends every minute of her life trying to scare us, we don't need you doing her job for her as well.
My message to those of you who have been frightened by this media frenzy is simple:
"Get a grip"!
Enjoy the Bank Holiday sunshine.