A gloomy, grey Monday morning; what more appropriate time to award my prestigious "Prats of The Week" Award?
This week's award to goes to my "respected" and "admired" local council of Croydon.
Croydon Council are fond of proclaiming how environmentally aware they are. To be fair to them, all government orifices and commercial enterprises seem to have jumped on the environmental bandwagon.
Anyhoo, down in Croydon the council have issued an edict banning residents from walking to one of the borough's main environmental waste disposal centres, in Factory Lane. Instead of walking, the residents of Croydon are expected to turn up in their cars and wait for ages in long queue to get in, to dispose of their waste in an environmentally friendly manner.
Can you see the contradiction here Ladies and Gentlemen?
Even those who live just yards away from Factory Lane are not allowed to walk there, they are forced to drive in.
Paul Langton, a resident of Croydon, recently tried to dump his waste and on seeing that the car queue was a third of a mile long decided to walk. Here is what happened next, in Mr Langton's own words:
"The man who greeted us was quite adamant
that we would not be allowed to recycle anything
unless we drove in.
I tried to make him comprehend the reason we were recycling
in the first place and how driving would defeat the object
but we weren't allowed in."
Croydon Council needless to say, have an excuse.
Can you guess what that is?
Yes, that's right...health and farking safety (pass the sick bag someone).
Seemingly people on foot and in cars present a clear and present danger to each other.
"This is particularly important at Factory Lane where,
in addition to residents' domestic vehicles,
there is regular traffic of heavy goods vehicles passing
in the area that pedestrians would have to use.
The ruling also helps prevent the dumping by traders
of industrial and commercial waste that should access
the facilities only via the weighbridge."
The astute amongst you will realise that the last part of the does not make any sense, as presumably traders would most definitely arrive by car, as they would have so much waste to dispose of.
Residents think that this is a load of old bollocks.
Why not build an access for pedestrians?
Why can't the recycling bins be positioned away from the main vehicle entrance?
Croydon Council, well deserving Prats of The Week.
Feel free to drop them a note via this link firstname.lastname@example.org