Greetings loyal readers, midway between the pig out of Christmas and the alcoholic oblivion of New Year, I am paying a brief visit online to warn you that Nanny has been busy this festive period.
Barrow Borough Council have decreed that the age old tradition of throwing boiled sweets at pantomime audiences is a health and safety risk, and have ordered actors to use marshmallows.
Pantomime, for those not familiar with the British tradition, is where parents take their children to watch the principal "boy" (an attractive young woman dressed as a man in thigh length leather boots) kiss the leading lady and the "dame" (a middle aged man dressed in an outrageous female costume) make some very risque camp jokes.
That dear readers is why so many Brits have sexual hang ups!
Anyhoo, for good measure aside from banning boiled sweets being thrown into the audience of Aladdin, Nanny has also forbidden the squirting of water into the auditorium and the flash of fireworks and puff of smoke when Aladdin's genie appears.
What a bunch of knobheads!
Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.
Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.
Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.
Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts