Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.
Showing posts with label christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label christmas. Show all posts

Thursday, November 02, 2023

M&S Kowtows To The Mob



 

Back in August M&S filmed their Christmas advert.

Within it there is a scene where red, white and green Christmas paper hats are on fire in the fireplace.

M&S posted an image of that on Instagram yesterday by way of generating some PR around their Christmas campaign.

Unfortunately for them they forgot that some people are utter morons, step forward the cretinous mob who decided that red and green paper hats were in fact representative of the Palestinian flag.

Factoids for the cretinous mob:

1 red and green are the traditional colours of Christmas

2 The Italian, and Hungarian flags also contain red white and green (were M&S disrespecting them too?)

The mob duly bayed for blood and M&S, foolishly, gave in and deleted their Instagram post (whilst still running the TV ad) and issued a grovelling apology.

M&S have clearly not understood the basic law of mobs; they are akin to rabid dogs, if you try to be nice to them, they will bite you!


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Wednesday, December 21, 2022

Nanny's Christmas Message

 


Don't travel!

Don't have an accident!

Don't get ill!

Remember folks, your taxes pay for a non functioning state sector.


www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

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Friday, December 18, 2020

Tin Hats Everyone!


www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Monday, November 30, 2020

Gather Ye Round Your Fire Pits - SAGE Stuffs Christmas


 

Nanny and her acolytes from SAGE are determined to add a bit of No! No! No! to the season of goodwill.

Not content with banning board games (lest we start licking the playing pieces and succumb to Covid), Nanny and SAGE have put together a wee list of rules for the festive season (see above).

I would venture to observe that not every home has a fire pit (or garden!), nor the space required for placing another table in the dining area (even if there is another table spare).

I wonder if the boffins who come up with these rules, have grasped the fact that not everyone in the UK is middle class and lives in Islington?

That aside, I note with a degree of astonishment that Nanny wants Granny placed near an open window. Now whilst this might lessen her chances of going down with Covid, it most assuredly guarantees that she will go down with pneumonia.

However, if she then dies from the pneumonia you can rest assured that her death certificate will cite Covid as being the cause of death!

I have said it before, and will say it again, SAGE can get stuffed!

 

 

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

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Friday, November 20, 2020

Christmas Gatherings in London - and Not a Sign of Dick!


 Metropolitan Police Commissioner Dame Cressida Dick has told LBC she has "no interest in interrupting family Christmas dinners" and said "the police have lots of other things to be doing" https://t.co/TcLkicqRJq


www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Wednesday, November 18, 2020

Plant a Tree For Christmas and Sit Under It - Stuff SAGE!

 

Professor Gabriel Scally, of "Independent" Sage (aka Communist SAGE, a group set up to destabilise government Covid policy - not that it needs much destabilising!) has come up with a terrific wheeze for Christmas.

Can you guess what this is children?

Yes, that's right, he wants us to plant Christmas trees in our gardens; and sit under them on Christmas day in order to exchange gifts etc in a "Covid free" environment.

Two "wee" problems with this:

1 It's mid winter!

2 Many people don't have gardens.

Scally and "Independent" SAGE can stuff their advice exactly where you would expect to put SAGE at Christmas time!


www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Tuesday, December 24, 2019

Merry Christmas



Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Monday, December 24, 2018

Merry Christmas



Have it large this Christmas!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Friday, December 22, 2017

Merry Christmas!


I would like to wish you all a very Merry Christmas, and urge you to ignore Nanny's advice and warnings.

Have it large this Christmas and Bah Humbug to Nanny!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Dick Wit


'Tis the season to be offended.

Now that Christmas is almost upon us, and our sideboards etc are groaning under the weight of nuts, booze, figs and other things let us not forget those who choose to be offended by panto.

Despite the fact that panto has always been a tad risque, what with double entendres and women dressing as men and men as women, some people still manage to be surprised at being offended by what they see.

Such is the case for a production of Dick Whittington starring John Barrowman and the Krankies at the Manchester Opera House. Seemingly the gestures, repeated references to "Dick" and other issues offended panto goer Natalie Wood. A full report can be found in the Manchester Evening News.

Suffice to say calls to ban the panto will be ignored.

Those of you who are easily offended should probably not go to the panto, lest you take offence at Dick's wit.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Merry Greggsmas - Jesus Becomes Sausage Roll


Oh dear, Greggs the bakers has managed to offend a few people with its Christmas Advent Calendar.

The baby Jesus in the crib has been replaced with a pork sausage roll, thus managing to offend Christians and Jews (Jesus was Jewish).

However, Metro noted that there were a flurry of pastry related puns, such as ‘Jesus Crust, our savoury’ and ‘Away in Pret A Manger’.

Hey ho, and we aren't even in December yet!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Friday, December 23, 2016

Merry Christmas


Given FIFA's recent disgraceful fining of our leagues for wearing poppies, if you still have your old poppy please put it in an envelope and post it without a stamp or your details to

FIFA
Strasse 20
PO BOX 8044
Zurich
Switzerland

they have to pay the postage!

On that note I would like to take this opportunity to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a peaceful 2017.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, December 07, 2016

What's In Santa's Magic Sack?


Oh dear, be careful what you pull out of Santa's sack this Christmas everyone!

Parents in Pill were in for a rude surprise on Saturday when they discovered that some of the goodies given to their children by the local Santa in a Salvation Army hall were distinctly adult-themed.





Salvation Army Officer Nicholas Ward lis quoted by the Bristol Post:
"It has come to our attention that some children received inappropriate toys from Father Christmas at tonight's 'Santa's Grotto'.

We are very sorry for this and will take this issue up with the Christmas Lights committee, who provide the toys for Father Christmas to distribute.

That said, we would like to thank Santa for his time and for all the families who shared in our Winter Wonderland.

We hope you had a good night and please accept our apologies for any offence these toys might have caused you and your children."
For a pleasant change, people took this cock up with good humour and didn't play the "won't someone think of the children?" card!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Santa Is Dead!


Kudos to the the authors of a paper in the Lancet Psychiatry for winning my coveted Prats of The Week Award.

Step forward Psychologist Professor Christopher Boyle and social scientist Dr Kathy McKay, who have told parents to stop pretending Father Christmas is real in case the "lie" damages relations with their children.

Seemingly spinning stories about Santa risks undermining a child's trust and is morally suspect. Additionally, the duo go on to condemn the idea of a "terrifying" North Pole intelligence agency which judges children to be nice or naughty.

They are quoted by the Telegraph:
"If they (parents) are capable of lying about something so special and magical, can they be relied upon to continue as the guardians of wisdom and truth?"
Good grief!

Parents have been making up BS stories since the world began (eg religion, the boogeyman, fairy tales, Santa, the Easter Bunny etc), yet mankind has managed to survive.

It occurs to me that the daily dose of reality on TV, that kids are exposed to (eg Eastenders rapes/murders, body parts on the news and the behaviour of politicians etc), is a far greater threat to their sanity!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

A Very Merry 1950's Christmas


In view of the desire of some to take Britain back to the "jolly" days of the 1950's, via the petition to ban Boxing Day shopping, here are a few additional "non essential" services that should also be shut:

- Pubs and bars
- Hotels, restaurants, cafes and takeaways
- Theatres and cinemas
- Concerts
- Boxing Day hunts
- Financial advisers 
- TV and radio (or should I say wireless?)
- The internet (non essential parts of it)
- Mobile phone services (landlines work perfectly well for emergencies)
- Taxi/bus services (trains never seem to run then anyway!)
- Flights etc

If you want to shut shops, because they are non essential, then you should also shut the above!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Monday, November 14, 2016

Close All Shops On Boxing Day!


A Change.org petition demanding that all shops be closed on Boxing Day, set up by Ian Lapworth, claims "we managed 30 or 40 years ago" and should "forget making money for one day" and "concentrate on making more memories with the ones we love".
"Whilst not everyone may see Christmas as a religious holiday, it should be respected as such, and retail workers given some decent family time to relax and enjoy the festivities like everyone else."
Whilst I appreciate that some people in the UK wish to live in the 1950's, I have a number of observations wrt this petition:

1 We are not living in the 1950's.

2 Shopping on Boxing Day is not compulsory.

3 Many people (eg doctors, nurses, firemen, TV bods, etc etc) work over the seasonal period.

4 Not everyone is a Christian or, for that matter, believes in god.

5 If you want to spend Christmas with your family and not shop, then good luck to you. However, it's not for you to dictate to others what they can/cannot do over this period.


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, December 24, 2015

Merry Christmas


Merry Christmas everyone, and a Peaceful and Happy New Year!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Rationing In The Nanny State


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Nanny Argues With Herself Over Health and Safety


The final Lido Nights Christmas charity show, scheduled to be performed in the Saltdean Lido, billed as the “last ever” has been cancelled.


Why?

Health and Safety!

Except that the show had been organised since June, and the outgoing trustees of the Lido claim that all licences, insurances and safety certificates are in place.

Former trustee Ethel Trigg is quoted by Brighton and Hove News:
Before we handed over the building to the new trustees we had our own Risk Assessment carried out in the presence of Brighton and Hove City Council, and everything was up to standard. The new trustees individual Risk Assessment must obviously be contradictory to ours.

Organiser Chris Mr Nieto says he offered to pay for any extra insurance, and believes that any health and safety issues raised by the new trustees, such as contractors’ equipment left by fire exits, can easily be overcome.

However,  new chair Cathy Gallagher said:
We have also been reviewing health and safety matters and carrying out a risk assessment.

There has been an urgency about this as we were being asked to confirm that  the a Lido Night event scheduled for 28 November 2015 would be supported by the trustees.

Unfortunately in the short time available to us we were not able to recommend the event proceed based on the information available to us.

We realise that there will be a disappointment for all of those who were looking forward to the event and we are really sorry about that, but we hope you will understand that health and safety has to be our main priority at any event, no matter what the cause or beneficiary.

As trustees it is fair to say we are risk averse as we consider we have a duty of care to all visitors to the community centre.”
It sounds to me as though the new trustees don't trust the old trustees, wrt their health and safety review, and are using "lack of time" as an excuse to avoid making any effort to go ahead.

Is it any wonder that those of us who live and function in the real world don't respect health and safety "experts"?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Merry Christmas



Have it large this Christmas everyone!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries