Tea Time

Nanny's special little organ, Envirowise (funded by the Department for Environment Food and Rural Affairs) has got a bee in its bonnet about water being wasted.

A good point!

Gazillions of gallons of water are wasted each year in this country, because our water companies (eg Thames Water) are not upgrading leaking Victorian water mains with sufficient speed.

Therefore one would assume that Envirowise is calling upon the water companies to upgrade the system with due haste.

Ermmm....not quite!

Envirowise is calling on businesses to appoint tea monitors to make sure people do not waste water.

It wants companies to use teapots instead of making individual cups of tea, and hopes to re-introduce tea urns to the workplace.

It has issued an edict:

"Appoint a tea task force or tea monitor to make sure all your office hot drink-making facilities are as efficient as they could be. Only boil the water you use - this will avoid water and energy being wasted."

They add that employees should use a teapot when making a round of hot drinks as this "allows you to measure the correct amount of water you will need, and often tastes nicer than making tea in the cup".

I humbly submit that a greater saving of resources could be made if Envirowise were to be abolished.

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Playing With Your Pussy

Nanny is very concerned that we play with our pussies in the correct way, and provide them with stimulation.

As such The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (Defra) has issued a 26 page document on pussy welfare.

Here we are facing the worst recession in decades and Nanny wastes time, money and resources on telling people how to play with their pussies.

Has the world gone mad?

The document warns:

"It is your responsibility to read the complete Code of Practice to fully understand your cat's welfare needs and what the law requires you to do."

It goes on to say that owners must provide their pets with a "suitable place to live" including "somewhere suitable to go to the toilet". It also advises providing a separate litter tray for each cat.

"Cats need opportunities to climb and jump, such as a simple 'platform' type bed or safe access to shelves and the tops of cupboards.

Cats that are not very tame, such as some farm cats, may prefer to live outdoors in more basic shelter but you still need to look after them."

It tells owners to "watch your cat closely for signs of stress or changes in behaviour".

"You should ensure that your cat has enough mental stimulation from you and from its environment to avoid boredom and frustration.

It is your responsibility to provide opportunities for your cat to satisfy all of its behavioural needs, such as play and companionship."

As a pussy lover myself of many years' standing I would suggest that pussies are more than adept at making their own entertainment eg; sleeping, eating, running their owners' lives and chasing mice.

How is it that Nanny now feels the need to intervene in pussy issues?


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