Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Playing With Your Pussy

Playing With Your PussyNanny is very concerned that we play with our pussies in the correct way, and provide them with stimulation.

As such The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (Defra) has issued a 26 page document on pussy welfare.

Here we are facing the worst recession in decades and Nanny wastes time, money and resources on telling people how to play with their pussies.

Has the world gone mad?

The document warns:

"It is your responsibility to read the complete Code of Practice to fully understand your cat's welfare needs and what the law requires you to do."

It goes on to say that owners must provide their pets with a "suitable place to live" including "somewhere suitable to go to the toilet". It also advises providing a separate litter tray for each cat.

"Cats need opportunities to climb and jump, such as a simple 'platform' type bed or safe access to shelves and the tops of cupboards.

Cats that are not very tame, such as some farm cats, may prefer to live outdoors in more basic shelter but you still need to look after them
."

It tells owners to "watch your cat closely for signs of stress or changes in behaviour".

"You should ensure that your cat has enough mental stimulation from you and from its environment to avoid boredom and frustration.

It is your responsibility to provide opportunities for your cat to satisfy all of its behavioural needs, such as play and companionship
."

As a pussy lover myself of many years' standing I would suggest that pussies are more than adept at making their own entertainment eg; sleeping, eating, running their owners' lives and chasing mice.

How is it that Nanny now feels the need to intervene in pussy issues?


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8 comments:

  1. Is there any area of our lives that Nanny feels she doesn't need to interfere in?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lord of Atlantis11:56 AM

    The answer to your question, Tonk, alas as I'm sure you are aware, is 'no, not one!'

    I too am a pussy lover, Ken, and have been for many years. I find this crap both insulting and patronising. No cat lover needs to be told these things, as they will be doing them anyway. As for those b******s who illtreat their pets, does Nanny seriously think they'll take any notice of this nonsense? I bet they are quaking in their shoes!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Tonk.4:15 PM

    Are we now seeing the result of the millions of pounds the so called animal welfare lobby have given to Labour?

    I would have thought Mr Hilary Benn had far more serious things to concern himself with than this.
    Perhaps he will now recruit a new breed of Town Hall Taliban enforcement officer, each armed with scales and tape measures to see if the cat or dog is too fat or too thin.....And let me guess, will there be a fine attached?....Kerching....All together now...You've got to pick a pocket or two boys....No wonder the world is laughing at us!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. And should Puss fail to show up one night, remember to be sure to be careful about using lights for any search - *Less Light*

    Oh yes, and if you make tea for the rescuers please do it properly -
    *Return of the Tea Lady*

    ReplyDelete
  5. Grant7:30 PM

    Hmm.

    Many years ago the cat belonging to our next door neighbours adopted us for an easier life because they, despite their very caring nature, stimulated perhaps too much playfulness for the creature's sensibilities. Co-incidentally we both moved house at about the same time, staying within the village, but they moved further from the roiginal location than we did. Also they stayed with some friends for a while between houses. So the cat was notionally, living with us. To be more precise it would appear regular as clockwork at 8pm to be fed but otherwise spent its time in the old territory about 1/4 of a mile away across a few gardens.

    When they finally moved into their new house in the centre of the village the roads were a disruptive barrier. SO the cat promptly adopted an elderly couple that lived around the corner from her new home and spent her remaining years mostly with them.

    Very domesticated for a farm cat.

    Also pampered.

    So I find it encouraging that DEFRA, et al, feel the need to point out that animals should not be pampered into obesity and idleness but should be made to 'work' for their rewards, thus reducing them to the same level of dependency as humans in their relationship with Nanny.

    Further I would suggest that if one is to keep animals as pets, surely unethical in terms of the animal rights and greenhouse gas emissions, it would be bset to keep large ones, or small pack of them, so that at some point in the not too distant future their pelts could be turned into some sort of wearable memorial that one keep for the rest of one's natural life and at the same time ward off the cold we will experience when our energy systems collapse around us as or 'government' considers more important things like keeping pussies entertained. (Will they bring back Prescott I wonder?)

    Polar bear coat anyone?


    Grant

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous7:04 AM

    Being a labour voter, the idea of allowing my pet to go to the toilet is news to me. I hadn't thought of it before.

    Previously I'd stuffed a cork up my cat's bum to avoid the mess it was creating.

    But now, thanks to this new advice, I've taken the cork out of my cat's bum and I now let it poo on my bath towel and wee on my telly.

    I'd like to have some guidelines on how to walk across the beach without accidentally running into the sea and drowning too, because I seem to do that quite often as well.

    All these guidelines are welcome to us labour voters, as we are all truly hard of thinking.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous7:45 AM

    What you didn't mention, Ken, was the punishment if prosecuted - a fine of up to £20,000 or imprisonment. Better let a few more murderers out early, then, although my guess is they'll go for the fine...

    I'm having problems trying to provide stimulation for my budgie. I take Tweetie for a drive on a Sunday afternoon but his flying around inside the car is a bit distracting. Do you think that DEFRA might have an 'agony aunt' for people like me?

    Jay

    ReplyDelete
  8. My partner and I have been owned for the past twelve years by our adorable cat who came to us as a kitten [with his brother, who sadly died when ten months old after an accident].

    The rule book is written by our cat and reads "So long as you never shout at me or move in a threatening or sudden matter" - which we never do - "you can do whatever you want, including cleaning my teeth daily and tickling my tummy endlessly. And when I say so, OPEN THAT BLOODY DOOR!"

    ReplyDelete