Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.
Showing posts with label cat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cat. Show all posts

Thursday, January 11, 2018

Meanwhile In Texas..Cat Cafes Are Deemed Racist!


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Exactly How Stupid Are people?



Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, December 05, 2012

Nanny's Cat Cam



Beware Nanny's secret new CCTV, cunningly disguised as a cat!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Prats of The Week - Applied Language Solutions

My oh my, it has seemed like a gazillion years since I last awarded one of my prestigious, and internationally renowned, Prats of The Week Awards.

Thus, without any further ado, I congratulate Applied Language Solutions for winning this week's award!

For why?

Just ask a cat called Masha, who has been registered to work as a court interpreter.
Solicitors Journal reports that an investigation by the BBC into Applied Language Solutions (ALS), which has a contract with the MoJ to provide interpreting services to courts in England and Wales, identified a number of cases where interpreters were not asked for criminal record checks.

UMMM!!

I thought that in Nanny's Britain everyone had to have a CRB, even if they wished to just say hello to their neighbours?
As if that were not bad enough, step forward Masha.

The owner of Masha, the projects director of Talk Russian UK Neil McCafferty, said that he registered Masha with ALS:
We signed her up for the rare cat language.

We were absolutely staggered to start receiving emails from the company suggesting we take Masha the cat for a language assessment.”
One might ask why it is that Nanny's MoJ works with ALS, the MoJ passed the buck:
It is (Ken says: shouldn't there be a "the" here?) contractor’s responsibility to make sure that they meet this requirement.

We keep this and other contractual matters under scrutiny.”
Data released by the MoJ in May showed that from 30 January to 30 April 2012, ALS provided an interpreter in 81% of the cases where the courts requested one (the target being 98%). There were 2,232 complaints during the period, almost half caused by interpreters not attending court.

A spokeswoman for ALS said:
"If ALS finds interpreters without the appropriate information it will remove them from the register until this information is obtained.
If the BBC is aware of any interpreters working without the necessary information and is prepared to provide specifics, ALS will investigate and suspend or remove such interpreters, if appropriate."
Sorry Masha, it looks like you are out of a job there!

Applied Language Solutions, well deserving Prats of The Week!
Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, April 07, 2011

Pussycat



Well done the four fire crews (consisting of five engines and 20 men) from Leiston, Bungay, Felixstowe and Bury St Edmunds who were dispatched to deal with an incident in Roberts Road, Leiston, on Monday.

The incident big a cat stuck on a roof.

The cat was rescued.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Where's Wookie?


My sympathies to Mike Harding of Bedford, who lost his cat "Wookie" last year.

As any pet owner would do, Mr Harding did his best to try to find Wookie by putting up missing cat posters (on trees, lampposts and parking meters).

Unfortunately for Mr Harding he fell foul of his local council's environmental officer, who threatened him with a £1K fine (Ker Farking Ching!) unless the posters were removed by Christams Eve.

For why?

Mr Harding, in the eyes of Nanny, committed two "crimes":

1 The posters can be constituted as "litter" and unauthorised "advertising", ie Nanny wanted a fee.

2 Mr Harding used nails to affix some of the posters to trees. Nanny was very upset about the trees being "pierced" in this fashion, and decreed that the trees would die if pierced thusly! This is of course bollocks, as trees tend to live far longer than humans despite being bashed about in all manner of unpleasant ways.

Mr Harding rushed around and removed his posters by 3AM Christmas Eve.

Wookie is still, I believe, missing:(

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Sunday, December 19, 2010

The Joy of Cat Litter II



I see, rather surprisingly, that the weather forecasts were pretty accurate wrt the snow and ice that had been predicted.

Fair enough!

Given the fact that there has been sufficient and well publicised warnings about the snow I assume that Nanny (eg councils, the Highways Agency etc) and "quasi state" bodies (eg Network Rail, BAA, BA, train companies etc) were ready for it, and have responded professionally and efficiently ensuring that our transport system continues to function during the snow.

What's that you say?

Really, the transport system has ground to a halt again?

Surely not?

Surely these bodies were prepared and ready this time?

Funny that isn't it, the state and "quasi state" bodies are always rather good at telling us how to live our lives (eg "don't travel", "check your flight details before leaving home", "no liquids", "check in at least two hours before departure" etc) and are more than happy to rob us blind (eg taxes, train fares etc) in return for providing us with "services" that fail?

Rather a one way "relationship" isn't it?

Looks like I will be using a lot of cat litter over the coming days!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Pink Pussies

CatA question for all my loyal readers out there in cyber space.

What do you think of pink pussies?

Personally I am not a huge fan of them myself, but apparently some people are.

I ask because I was reading the story of "Oi! Kitty", a white cat dyed pink (using safe non toxic food colouring) by its owner.

Oi! Kitty was found by some bloke coming back from the pub recently, and handed into the RSPCA.

The owner, having seen the publicity, was relieved that her missing pink pussy had been spotted and asked for it to be returned.

The RSPCA have duly done so.

However, they could not resist being a tad "Nannying", they popped round to give some "advice" as to how to treat pussies (even though no crime, harm, or mistreatment had been done to Oi! Kitty).

Now I am a great lover of pussies and other wee beasties, and fully support the work that the RSPCA does (indeed our own little pussy "Rosie" was adopted from an RSPCA cat shelter). However, given that no harm was done to Oi! Kitty (aside from it being hugely embarrassed, when socialising with its cat chums, at being dyed pink), was a "Nannytype" lecture really needed?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Hip Hip Hooray Ken's Flying Back Today

Rosie
Rosie (our cat) being given the good news that I am coming back from Beijing today.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Playing With Your Pussy

Playing With Your PussyNanny is very concerned that we play with our pussies in the correct way, and provide them with stimulation.

As such The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (Defra) has issued a 26 page document on pussy welfare.

Here we are facing the worst recession in decades and Nanny wastes time, money and resources on telling people how to play with their pussies.

Has the world gone mad?

The document warns:

"It is your responsibility to read the complete Code of Practice to fully understand your cat's welfare needs and what the law requires you to do."

It goes on to say that owners must provide their pets with a "suitable place to live" including "somewhere suitable to go to the toilet". It also advises providing a separate litter tray for each cat.

"Cats need opportunities to climb and jump, such as a simple 'platform' type bed or safe access to shelves and the tops of cupboards.

Cats that are not very tame, such as some farm cats, may prefer to live outdoors in more basic shelter but you still need to look after them
."

It tells owners to "watch your cat closely for signs of stress or changes in behaviour".

"You should ensure that your cat has enough mental stimulation from you and from its environment to avoid boredom and frustration.

It is your responsibility to provide opportunities for your cat to satisfy all of its behavioural needs, such as play and companionship
."

As a pussy lover myself of many years' standing I would suggest that pussies are more than adept at making their own entertainment eg; sleeping, eating, running their owners' lives and chasing mice.

How is it that Nanny now feels the need to intervene in pussy issues?


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Monday, May 26, 2008

Taking The Puss

Taking The Puss
Our "respected" local councils are up to no good again, as Joy Tracey from Denton found to her cost recently.

Joy recently found a stray ginger cat, who she called Copper, and tried to reunite him with his owners.

Having visited local cat homes and advertising in the local paper, to no avail, she decided to put posters up on lampposts.

Can you guess what happened next?

Yes, that's right, two "council patrollers" from the town hall's neighbourhood task force left messages on her phone ordering her to take them down.

She said:

"They said I had to go round and take them all down or face a heavy fine.

It makes me feel angry. If it was a scruffy poster I wouldn't mind, but it's been really neatly done. I just want to get this poor cat home. I'd had no response and he's such a loving cat.
"

Under Nanny's rules anyone who wants to put posters on lampposts must apply in writing to council highways engineers for permission, at least 28 days in advance.

Fair enough for fly posters etc. However, surely a little bit of commonsense could have been exercised here and the "approval" granted "after the fact"?

Unfortunately, Nanny does not possess commonsense.

A spokesman for Tameside council said:

"We understand the distress when pets go missing.

However we have to reflect and act upon community concerns such as flyposting
."

Ugh!

The old "following orders" excuse!

Purrfectly Purrposterous!

FYI, all the fuss did have one good outcome; Copper's owners read about it, and were reunited with him.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Happy Lunar New Year

Happy Lunar New Year
The team at Nanny Knows Best would like to take this opportunity to wish you a Happy Lunar New Year.

A Rat Year is a time of hard work, activity, and renewal. This is a good year to begin a new job, get married, launch a product or make a fresh start.

The Rat year is a year of plenty, bringing opportunity and good prospects. It will be marked by speculation and fluctuations in the prices of commodities and the stock market; the world economy in general will boom.

Business will be on the upswing, fortunes can be made and it will be an easy time to accumulate wealth.

However, this is also the time to make long-term investment plans as the bonanza the year of the Rat brings will serve to see us through the bleak years that may follow.

All ventures begun at this time will be successful, if one prepares well.

Have it large!

Ken

Be warned, the following video features a cat smoking a cigarette.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Thought Crimes

Thought Crimes
Can one commit a crime, merely by thinking about it?

The Catholic Church would have us believe that we will be condemned to ever lasting hell for "thought crimes", even though we never act on our thought and carry out our "criminal/immoral impulse" in reality.

However, Nanny intends to go one stage further than Holy Mother Church; she intends to lock people up in this life for their thought crimes, or rather for their perceived thought crimes.

I think it fair to say that we in Britain produce more than our fair share of people with, how shall I put it?, unusual and challenging personalities. In short, we are a nation of individualistic, strong willed eccentrics.

Now, Nanny doesn't like this; because such people are very difficult to control and to break. Hence the fact that we have always taken a stand against foreign aggression, even when the odds have been heavily stacked against us.

Nanny has decided to try to use the medical profession to identify people who, because of their "unusual personalities", may commit a crime in the future (even though they have yet to commit a crime). Once these people have been identified, Nanny would of course lock them up for our own, and their, "protection" for an indefinite period of time.

Nice eh?

Sounds all a bit too similar to other past dictatorships doesn't it?

The question is, what constitutes an "odd personality"?

Could, for example, the elderly lady who keeps 20 cats be considered to be odd?

No?

What if she was also leading a campaign against the council tax?

Maybe she needs to be locked up, because she is a threat?

Get my point?

Were the doctors to obey Nanny, and report patients with "unusual" personalities, it would be a breach of their ethics.

The doctors face a dilemma they will be damned if they do, and damned if they don't. Quite how a doctor can predict from someone's unusual behaviour that he or she is a future criminal is beyond me.

However, instead of blaming the police and the Home Secretary Nanny will in future be able to blame the doctors for the rise in the crime rate.

It's a real winner!

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Nanny Bans Postman Pat

Nanny Bans Postman Pat
"Postman Pat
Postman Pat
Postman Pat and his black and white cat
..."

All together now.. "Postman Pat..."

Sing you bastards!

Sing!


That is the jolly tune that I sing along to everytime I watch Postman Pat on the TV...sad individual aren't I?

Unfortunately, the good people of Market Harborough may find themselves locked up for such harmless pursuits.

Why?

Nanny has banned Postman Pat.

What? I hear you ejaculate (yes I can say ejaculate!).

Yes...Nanny has decided that Postman Pat, or rather a reasonable facsimile of him, is just too dangerous for the good people of Market Harborough to enjoy. Therefore, she has banned him.

A Postman Pat musical ride for kids is to be removed from outside a store in the St Mary's Place shopping precinct, because it's too dangerous.

The owners of St Mary's Place, who are evidently chums of Nanny, are worried that shoppers will walk into it.

Now call me pedantic..

You're pedantic Ken!

However, there are thousands of these rides (airplanes, cars, Postman Pat etc) outside thousands of shops throughout the country.

Precisely how many thousands of people walk into them, and injure themselves, on a daily basis?

Errrrmmm...none I would guess!

I would also add a small fact to the oinkment, as it were, (I know Nanny hates facts) namely that the 30p ride has been in the precinct for six years and no one has mutilated themselves by walking into it during that time.

Local businesswoman Sheryl Granger is mounting a stern resistance to Nanny, and is refusing to remove Postman Pat.

Quote:

"You would have to be blind to walk into it

it poses no more danger than a bollard.

Thousands of children have ridden it

and even more people have walked by it

without a single complaint or injury
."

A spokesman for St Mary's Place said it was targeting "material outside shop boundaries with health and safety implications."

Bollocks!

The people who cite health and safety issues have no more knowledge of the law/facts than Postman Pat's pussy (can I say pussy?), Jess. They live in fear of being held responsible for everything they do, and seek to avoid that responsibility by hiding behind a non existent "health and safety issue".

People like that should not be given positions of responsibility.

Regrettably many such people do in fact hold positions, where they have power over others, most notably in local councils.

Postman Pat theme tune

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Lunartic House

Lunartic HouseThose of you unfamiliar with the joys of Croydon; its fine architecture, beautiful central thoroughfares (such as Dingwall Road) and popular/thriving shopping centres (such as Centrale, which has an occupancy rate of less then 50%) should take a look at my special site dedicated to Croydon www.croydoniscrap.com.

Oddly enough, whenever I write to the council about the decaying infrastructure of Croydon they never answer; even the local "dead cat in tree" rags have stopped mentioning the site.

I wonder why?

Anyhoo, in addition to the joys that I describe in full technicolour detail on that site, Croydon hosts the Home Office's main immigration centre at Lunar House ("affectionately" known as Lunartic House by us locals).

As we all know Nanny takes pride in her work to integrate various religions, races and creeds under one unifying concept of Britishness. Therefore it was with great pride, as a Croydon resident, that I read about Nanny employing a leading member of an extremist Islamic group in Lunartic House.

Abid Javaid is a "senior executive officer" in the IT department at the Immigration and Nationality Directorate (in Lunartic House), this processes asylum and visa applications.

In addition to his role in helping people become British, Javaid is also an activist in the fundamentalist Islamic group Hizb-ut Tahrir. This "organ" does not believe in democracy, but instead wants a worldwide Islamic state under Shariah law.

Is it British to be anti democratic?

Blairy Poppins asked for the group, which calls for Jews to be murdered, to be banned last year.

Patrick Mercer, Tory party Homeland Security spokesman, has noted that the position that Javid holds is a tad sensitive.

Quote:

"I am amazed that this man has managed to infiltrate

such a sensitive government department.

I find it deeply worrying.

This is an insidious and dangerous organisation

that is clearly trying to worm its way into as many

government organisations as possible.

In August 2005, the Prime Minister said that these people should be banned.

Now, less than 18 months later, they are,

to all intents and purposes, legal.

This is a clandestine organisation

which seeks to infiltrate wherever it can.

This is further proof, if any were needed,

that both the IND and the Home Office are unfit for purpose
."

Lunartic House has in the past offered a premium service to migrants if they agreed to perform sexual favours.

That's the spirit guys!

Hundreds of thousands of claims for visas and asylum are stacked in cardboard boxes, and the IND has been accused of losing track of applicants.

In other words it is a shite organisation, and symbolic of the failure of Nanny and her minions to run anything remotely resembling a piss up in a brewery.

A Home Office spokesman helpfully said:

"Home Office civil servants are expected to abide

by Home Office rules governing their conduct.

They are also subject to the Civil Service code
."

Now you know why it is called Lunartic House!

By the way, if there is anyone from the media reading this who wants to help me kick Croydon council up the backside; I would be very grateful if you could do a piece on my Croydon website.

Friday, November 10, 2006

The Firework Code

The Firework CodeAs you all know, we have recently celebrated Guy Fawkes night here in Nanny's Britain. Despite Nanny's attempts to stamp this out, it still seems to be going strong (even if some have to resort to "virtual bonfires", because of health and safety concerns).

However, as much as I am anti Nanny, I must raise an official complaint about a shortcoming in the "Firework Code". This is a simple list of do's and don'ts that try to help people avoid injury when using fireworks eg:

"Don't throw fireworks"

Regrettably Nanny has failed, this year, to make the list suitably "idiot proof". It seems that a 22 year old man had to be carted off to hospital for severe burns.

Why?

He was at a fireworks party in Sunderland, dropped his trousers and attempted to launch a rocket from his own backside!

Seemingly the rocket (a Black Cat Thunderbolt Rocket) got stuck, as it were, and then exploded "in situ"...er..so to speak.

The man is suffering from, unsurprisingly, burnt arse syndrome.

He will make a full recovery.

So there you go folks, Nanny let herself down this year by not including the following in the Firework Code:

"Do not attempt to launch rockets from your own arse"

That being said, no matter how many rules and regulations you have you will never be able to fully protect the moronic and stupid from themselves.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Nanny's Special Movies

Nanny's Special MoviesDear Friends,

I have been labouring many hours to bring you an exciting new enhancement to this site.

Ooohhh!

As you may be aware, Nanny is not a new phenomenon in the UK; in fact, she has been "knocking around" for quite sometime now. One of her favourite mediums for imparting her wisdom to the huddled masses is that of film and TV.

Over the decades Nanny has produced quite a number of "information" films, covering such diverse subjects as; atomic power, Suez, avoiding coughs, how to cross the road and helping young girls get jobs.

I have put together a magnificent library of these films, for your viewing pleasure; simply scroll down the menu bar, on the right hand side of this site, and look for "Nanny's Information Films".

There, if you click on the links, you will be able to watch these fine movies in the comfort of your own homes and offices.

The library of films is in date order, the earliest going back to 1947 the latest being this year. In the library you will be able to view such classics as; Donald Pleasance telling children not to play near water, Charley the cat (one of Bagpuss's relatives) warning children not to talk to strangers, Dave "Darth Vader" Prowse telling you how to cross the road and useful advice on what to do if an atom bomb goes off near your home!

Put your feet up, download and enjoy this veritable smorgasbord of Nanny at her best.

Please tell the world about this site.

Ken

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Nanny Bans Cartoon Smoking II

Nanny Bans Cartoon Smoking IIFollowing on from my mail to Ofcom concerning the banning of cartoon smoking, I received a reply from them yesterday.

Read between the lines of the "carefully crafted" bureaucratic non response to my mail and, although they claim to have had nothing to do with the ban, you will see that they did pressure Turner to edit their cartoon collection.

Here is a copy of their mail to me, and my response; this is not yet over.....

If Ofcom, as you claim, took no part in Turner's decision; why were Ofcom involved in the first place?

Kind regards

Ken Frost

http://www.nannyknowsbest.com


From: "OCCbroadcast"
Subject: Ofcom Broadcast Complaints Bulletin 67. Tom & Jerry
Date: Fri, 25 Aug 2006 15:26:53 +0100

Thank you for contacting Ofcom. You have raised concerns about media coverage of our report on Tom and Jerry. Perhaps it would be helpful if we explained the actual position.

In Ofcom's broadcast bulletin 67, we published a report on action taken by Turner, the licensee for Boomerang, following its receipt of a viewer complaint about scenes of smoking in Tom and Jerry sent via Ofcom.

You should be aware that Ofcom has taken no regulatory action in this matter and has not banned images of smoking in Tom and Jerry or in any cartoon or in fact any programme.

Independently of Ofcom, Turner decided to conduct an extensive internal review of the Tom & Jerry archive library to reassess the volume and context of smoking in these cartoons. The licensee has subsequently decided to edit any scenes or references in the series where smoking appeared to be condoned, acceptable, glamorised or where it might encourage imitation.

We are not aware of evidence from research in the UK that shows a direct correlation

between children who see smoking on television with a greater propensity to take up smoking. (However, broadcasters and Ofcom are required to protect those under eighteen and that protection is particularly important where the youngest children are concerned.) Research published in September 2005 by Ofcom indicates that broadcasters are very aware and responsible in the way they include smoking pre-watershed. It is important however that there is editorial justification when smoking is featured in such series.

We noted in the report that "Stylised and comic actions in cartoons are not intrinsically a concern in themselves - including violence and other activity which in a different context would be unacceptable. However it depends on treatment and context. We recognise that these are historic cartoons, most of them having been produced in the 40s, 50s and 60s at a time when smoking was more generally accepted. Depictions of smoking may not be problematic given the context, but broadcasters need to make a judgement about the extent to which they believe a particular scene may or may not genuinely influence children. We note that in Tom and Jerry, smoking usually appears in a stylised manner and is frequently not condoned."

On this occasion, Turner decided to adopt a precautionary approach. As this resolved the complainant's issue, there was no need for Ofcom to look into the matter further. The full report is below.

Yours sincerely

:: Broadcast Support Team

Tel: 020 7981 3040

Fax: 020 7981 3334

Email: OCCbroadcast@ofcom.org.uk

:: Ofcom
Riverside House
2a Southwark Bridge Road
London SE1 9HA
020 7981 3000

www.ofcom.org.uk

Ofcom broadcast bulletin 67 21 August 2006

Tom & Jerry Boomerang, various dates 2006


Introduction

In two separate cartoons Texas Tom and Tennis Chumps there were scenes involving smoking. In Texas Tom, Tom tried to impress a female cat by rolling a 'rollup' cigarette, lighting it and smoking it with just one hand. In Tennis Chumps, Tom's opponent in a match was seen smoking a large cigar. One viewer complained that these scenes of smoking were not appropriate in a cartoon aimed at children.

Response

Following receipt of the complaint, Turner, the licensee for Boomerang, conducted an extensive internal review of the Tom & Jerry library to reassess the volume and context of smoking in these cartoons. The licensee has subsequently proposed editing any scenes or references in the series where smoking appeared to be condoned, acceptable, glamorised or where it might encourage imitation (for example where, in Texas Tom, Tom tries to impress by smoking). Turner believed however, that editing out all references to smoking, where such references neither glamorised nor condoned, might adversely affect the value of the animation.

Decision

Rule 1.10 of Ofcom's Broadcasting Code states: The use of illegal drugs, the abuse of drugs, smoking, solvent abuse and the misuse of alcohol:

* must not be featured in programmes made primarily for children unless there is strong editorial justification;

* must generally be avoided and in any case must not be condoned, encouraged or glamorised in other programmes broadcast before the watershed, or when children are particularly likely to be listening, unless there is editorial justification;

* must not be condoned, encouraged or glamorised in other programmes likely to be widely seen or heard by under eighteens unless there is editorial justification.

We are not aware of evidence from research in the UK that shows a direct correlation between children who see smoking on television with a greater propensity to take up smoking. However, broadcasters and Ofcom are required to protect those under eighteen and that protection is particularly important where the youngest children are concerned. There are concerns that smoking on television may normalise smoking. For precautionary reasons Ofcom expects broadcasters to generally avoid smoking in pre-watershed programmes. Research published in September 2005 by Ofcom indicates that broadcasters are very aware and responsible in the way they include smoking pre-watershed.

Boomerang is a channel that attracts a large number of children - 56% of its audience are aged 4-14 years. Although historic cartoons such as these may have been made originally for family audiences they are now primarily viewed by children, including very young children, who may be viewing on their own.

Stylised and comic actions in cartoons are not intrinsically a concern in themselves -including violence and other activity which in a different context would be unacceptable. However it depends on treatment and context. We recognise that these are historic cartoons, most of them having been produced in the 40s, 50s and 60s at a time when smoking was more generally accepted. Depictions of smoking may not be problematic given the context, but broadcasters need to make a judgement about the extent to which they believe a particular scene may or may not genuinely influence children. We note that in Tom and Jerry, smoking usually appears in a stylised manner and is frequently not condoned.

However while we appreciate the historic integrity of the animation, the level of editorial justification required for the inclusion of smoking in such cartoons is necessarily high. We will look at all such cases individually.

Given Turner's commitment to adopt a precautionary approach, we welcome its review of archive material and action taken to minimise the possibility of harm.

Resolved

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Nanny Speak

Nanny Speak
Freedom, it seems, is a troublesome concept for Nanny to understand.

Lat year Universities UK issued a guide on dealing with hate crimes and intolerance on campus. It advised vice-chancellors of the following:

"Proportionate interference with the lecturer's right to freedom of expression is permissible where necessary to protect the rights and freedoms of others".

In other words, if Nanny doesn't like what you say she will stop you saying it!

That is wrong!

Nanny's minions in the University of Leeds are currently using this rule to silence one of their lecturers, who has set the cat amongst the pigeons with his views on race and gender.

Today it is a controversial lecturer that they silence, tomorrow it might be you!

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Nanny's Pussy Problems

Nanny's Pussy ProblemsThe sad demise of Humphrey, the Downing Street cat, reminds us of Nanny's trouble with pussies.

I don't know why, but she doesn't seem to like them; you will recall that Blairy banished Humphrey shortly after moving into Downing Street in 1997.

Anyhoo, not content with banning pussies in Downing Street, Nanny has extended her pussy exclusion zone to Orkney.

The good people of the Highland Park distillery on Orkney have for generations (200 years in fact) kept a distillery cat, to keep the mice and rat population down.

The most recent occupant of the important post was Barley, who was sadly knocked over the other week. Up until now the distillery would have replaced Barley with a new mouser. Unfortunately Nanny's dreaded pussy police, the Health and Safety executive, have put their big noses into what is not any of their business.

Nanny has banned the distillery from employing anymore cats, seemingly there is a health and safety risk here!

I would make two observations:

1 Surely the threat posed by mice and rats to health and safety is greater than that posed by a cat?

2 The distillery has employed a cat for 200 years, without any ill effects on its customers, why this sudden sense of danger now?

Under Nanny we have become a nation of pussies!