Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Nanny Bans Hunting

Nanny Bans HuntingNanny is spitting blood today, her best chum David “trial without jury” Blunkett was forced to resign yesterday. This has left Nanny feeling a little exposed.

Dear old David, you will recall, has been the “master brain” behind some of Nanny’s favourite new laws:

-Religious Hatred


-Civil Contingencies


-ID cards

In fact you name it, and Mr “trial without jury” has had his finger in it; so to speak.

Now Nanny has lost her chum, all because of a little fuss over an affair and a few fast tracked visas. Nanny is beside herself; she thought that her friends could only be pushed out if she wished it so.

You see, Nanny had begun to feel that she was invulnerable:

  • She has neutered the “opposition” parties; they no longer register with the public, and now do exactly what she wants them to do.

    Indeed the Tory party came out in support of Blunkett’s’ ID card scheme, but a few days ago. I would conjecture that had they opposed it, with Blunkett’s departure, they might have had a chance to defeat it under the new Home Secretary. Unfortunately, because they came out in favour of it, they no longer have that opportunity.

    I would imagine that they are feeling pretty stupid today!

  • She disregards parliament, by communicating directly with her “charges” via the media

  • She manipulates independent reports, into Nanny “cock ups”, by setting the parameters of the investigation so narrow that the report ignores the real issues

  • She rules by diktat, ignoring the advice of her colleagues

  • She is destroying the constitution; by allowing her “well respected and competent” chum Lord Falconer to do to the constitution, what he did for the Dome

  • She bribes the electorate, by kidding them that they are fully employed; in fact, as over 20% of Britain’s population now work for Nanny, they are in reality on State benefits
Yet, despite all of this, her chum was still forced from office.

How was this possible?

Surely she had all the angles covered?

I am afraid not Nanny, there is still one last vestige of resistance to your will; the media (aside from the BBC). They pushed Blunkett out; not our proactive “opposition” parties, nor Blunkett’s conscience.

Therefore, since her friends are being stalked like “game” by the media, Nanny will be introducing a second anti hunting bill. She will do to the media, what she has done to fox hunting.

In future the following will be offences, punishable by imprisonment:
  • It will be an offence for more than two members of the media to congregate together in any public place

  • Nanny’s friends are now officially designated a protected species

  • It will be an offence for members of the media to stalk, hunt or track the movements of Nanny’s friends

  • It will be an offence for members of the media to talk to others, or indeed communicate with others, about the movements or activities of Nanny’s friends

  • Those found to be keeping “packs of the media”, who have breached the above rules, will have their media packs put down
You see, Ladies and Gentlemen, Nanny will not tolerate any form of resistance to her rule. Now with the above rules in place, and no effective “opposition” in parliament, Nanny will continue to do exactly what she wants to do.


  1. Ken, I really love your blog, but it'd be nice if you put more links in so that it's easier to tell when you're serious and when you're satirising.

  2. Anonymous4:31 PM

    Nanny is feeling a bit better now, as her second best friend has taken over from Plonker - sorry, Blunkett - and has said that he intends to follow exactly the same line with lots of nice new laws which will give Nanny lots more power.

    Plus ca change, c'est la meme chose!

  3. Mike,

    I am being serious, but in a satirical manner!


  4.'re telling us that Nanny actually IS enacting new laws to keep people from uncovering corruption etc?

  5. Mike,

    Think of me as the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come.

    I am showing you the shadows of the future. This future is not set in stone, it may be altered.

    However, if my warnings are not heeded; then in one year's time, all that I have predicted will come to pass.


  6. Tell me, oh spirit! How may this calamity be turned from the unhappy world?!

  7. To avoid disaster you must:

    1 Spread the word about NKB

    2 Vote Nanny and her friends out of office

  8. The first is already underway. I've linked to you on my blogroll and often link to your articles.

    The second...well, if we ever have the chance for a General Election, I'll be there raring to get the buggers out.

    In your opinion, who'd be the best to take their place?

  9. See if the Tories wake up.

    If not, then vote tactical; whoever can defeat Nanny then becomes the candidate of choice.

    Just my view of course!