Nanny has had another attack of Orwellian correctness.
Her friends in Wyre Forest Council are concerned that the English language contains words that do not really please them.
As such, much like a jumped up third world failing dictator, they have decided to ban these "offensive" words.
What are the words that the good people of Wyre Forest are no longer allowed to speak?
It seems that, according to the Orwellian thought police, these may refer to the slave trade. Needless to say, they have got it wrong, see below.
To be fair to the morons at Wyre Forest Council, this is not entirely of their own doing.
You see they hired consultants, yes that's right they spent your money on consultants, to tell them what words are no longer de rigueur.
By the way, if you want to hire these Orwellian thought police you can contact them at Aldridge Training Solutions. I have tried to find a website for this oragnisation, but cannot. I would be grateful if someone can provide contact details for publication on this site.
Money well spent I think, don't you?
Needless to say the good people of Bristol are well pissed off at the slur on their good name.
The city's Lord Mayor, Peter Abraham, said he had always understood the term referred to the standard of sailors and ships in the city and pre-dated links with slavery.
Mr Abraham said:
"I have used the phrase for 60 years and my family has there is no way it can be regarded as politically incorrect."
Bristol historian Gerry Brooke said:
"These councillors have certainly got the wrong end of the stick. Bristol was a very difficult port to work in before its floating harbour was built".
"The term comes because vessels built and loaded in the city were always first class."
Disregarding the facts, the 15 council members who attended the council's equality and diversity meeting were instructed to stand by the ruling.
Nice to see they are keeping an open mind!
Wyre Forest councillor Ken Stokes, when interviewed by the press, said the terms were now taboo has even apologised for repeating the phrase "nitty gritty" over the phone.
What a prat!
There is still some common sense in the council. Councillor June Salter said:
"The political correctness is getting pathetic. I am not racist and I don't need to be told how not to be a racist, which is why I didn't attend."
I for one am getting mighty fed up with the morons running this country.
It is time to let them know what we think of them.
As such I suggest that we have an informal competition, compose an email that contains all of the above banned phrases; and send it to the good people at Wyre Forest Council.
Here is their email address email@example.com
Please copy your email into the comments box, and the best/most original may (if I am in a very good mood) win a T shirt. You must confirm that you have sent it to the council.
The competition will be open for as long as I can be bothered, and any decision as to who wins will be entirely dependent on my mood at the time.