Educashun - Getting Dumber Generation By Generation

According to research in Iceland, people are becoming dumber.

As per the Guardian the research from deCODE, a genetics firm in Reykjavik, finds that groups of genes that predispose people to spend more years in education became a little rarer in the country from 1910 to 1975.

The scientists used a database of more than 100,000 Icelanders to see how dozens of gene variants that affect educational attainment appeared in the population over time. They found a shallow decline over the 65 year period, implying a downturn in the natural inclination to rack up qualifications.

But the genes involved in education affected fertility too. Those who carried more “education genes” tended to have fewer children than others. This led the scientists to propose that the genes had become rarer in the population because, for all their qualifications, better educated people had contributed less than others to the Icelandic gene pool.

Now whether this is true or not, the effects of environment/educational systems also play a very large part in people's ambitons and ability/desire to learn.

However, the sad fact in the Britain is that ambition, competiton (academic/sports) and the desire to better oneself have all but been erradicted by Nanny.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Bonny Babies

My thanks to a loyal reader who pointed me to an absurd piece of Nanny nonsense going on in Devizes, where the organisers of the annual carnival have decided to ban the Bonny Baby contest.

For why?

Carnival organisers are worried that it is unfair to the babies who are not selected as being "bonny".

Ermm how would a baby know that?

Also, if the parents don't wish to enter their babies then they don't have to, it's not compulsory!

Good news though, in the face of "political correctness gone mad" local mothers have launched their own unofficial bonny baby contest which will, according to the Mail, take place four days before the carnival.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny's Race To The Bottom

As loyal readers are only too aware, Nanny has the misguided view that children must never experience failure. In her warped view, the experience of failure will cause the children untold "damage" and "heartache".

Nanny is of course talking out of her posterior on this issue (as she does on so many other issues).

Failure, and learning to cope with failure, is an essential part of a child's development; it is necessary in order for the child to develop into a mature well rounded adult, with sense of self responsibility, capable of handling life's knocks.

Aside from trying to eliminate the concept of competition and winners/losers in school sports, Nanny has also tried to dumb down the exam system in order to pretend to herself and the hapless examinees that she has created a generation of academic intellectuals.

The reality, as is only too evident, is that she has created a nation of intellectual pygmies; unable to perform even the most basic of tasks in the adult world, and who need to be placed on remedial courses in order to be able to function in real jobs.

I am pleased to say that the Education Select Committee has also come to the same conclusion. It notes that the current system of exams and exam boards has created “perverse incentives” in which multiple examiners strip content out of syllabuses, stage training seminars for teachers and sell textbooks packed with exam tips to help schools inflate their overall scores.

The Telegraph reported that Graham Stuart, the committee’s chairman, said that politicians and exam boards had been in “denial” over a drop in standards in recent years, despite a notable decline in public confidence.

Mr Stuart said:

“The public have lost confidence in exam standards and this needs to be put right. We’ve got to stop the dumbing down of the courses young people sit and stop exam boards competing on how ‘accessible’ their syllabuses are.”

Nanny's system has, perversely, created competition between schools and exam boards; sadly it is a competition in a "race to the bottom" (as per a quote in the report).

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Sport Is "Too Competitive"

I see that a survey, carried out by the Institute of Sport at Loughborough University for the Women's Sport and Fitness Foundation (WSFF), highlighted that 45% of the girls questioned said that sport at school was "too competitive" and that 48% said being sweaty was "not feminine".

This is rather ironic, given that way back in the "bad old days" girls were not encouraged/allowed to play football, rugby etc.

I wonder if anyone has told Roedean that girls don't want to sweat or compete?

Now, in theory, what Nanny should do under these circumstances (in order to encourage more girls to participate in physical exercise) is to try to ensure that schools offer a greater variety of activities that will benefit and appeal to both males and females.

However, because Nanny is skint, Nanny will opt for the easiest worst case option; namely removing the sweat and competitiveness from the current sports available, in order to create a "one size fits all" sports curriculum.

Guaranteed to fail!

Personally speaking I loathed PE and sports of most kinds, and did my best to avoid them. Yet, here I am fit, healthy and not obese!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Utter Knobheads - The Central Wales Football Association

Oh dear oh dear, when will Nanny ever learn that competition and the ability to deal with failing and losing are essential elements in a child's education?

You only have to look at what happens to people who were cosseted from failure as kids to realise the damage that this does to them as adults, they end up becoming contestants (who are all "winners") on The Apprentice!

Anyhoo, Russell Hughes-Pickering and Dilwyn Roberts-Young, who give up hours of their time to coach the Aberystwyth and District Junior Football League a junior football league, discovered to their cost that Nanny does not like competition.

Both men were disciplined and ordered to step down for 12 months following a complaint.

What was their crime?

They were accused of breaching the Central Wales Football Association’s regulations, which ban under-11s from taking part in competitive matches. For reasons best known to Nanny, she has decreed that teams belonging to the league must play each other on a friendly basis, with no league table or points being recorded.

Unfortunately the two men organised a knockout competition. Needless to say, some sad git (clearly with nothing better to do in his/her life) complained.

Not only have they been suspended, but they must also pay a £75 fine, £50 costs and £50 for not being represented at the disciplinary hearing.

Ker Farking Ching!

By not allowing children to compete and experience failure/losing, Nanny is denying them the ability to grow, learn and develop into mature self responsible adults (isn't that a form of child abuse?).

The Central Wales Football Association, utter knobheads!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Spleeeling

Oh dear, Nanny is worried about the dangers that educashun might instill a sense of failure in children.

How so?

Surely educashun instills confidence?

Ah, how naive we all are for thinking that!

For you see dear readers, when you teach a child something like spelling what happens if he/she makes a mistake?

In my day I would be made to write the offending word out several times, until I got it right.

Now we live in more enlightened times, Nanny tells us that learning to spell and making mistakes in spelling will give rise to a sense of failure.

I am grateful to Nanny for pointing this out, now that I have reached a ripe and productive middle age I now realise that in fact (because I made spelling mistakes...and still do) I am in fact a failure.

Anyhoo, if you think that I am making this all up think, I would like to direct you Whitminster Endowed Church of England Primary School, near Stroud.

Headmistress Debbie Marklove recently decreed that pupils will not be given lists of words to learn by rote as homework.

For why?

There is a risk that children will feel a "sense of failure" if, having learned the words at home, they were unable to spell them at school the next day.

She has even written to the parents to tell them about the change:

"You will notice that the children will not be given spelling lists to learn over the week and then be tested in class.

We have taken the decision to stop spellings as homework as it is felt that although children may learn them perfectly at home they are often unable to use them in their daily written work.

Also many children find this activity unnecessarily distressing.

The spelling patterns will continue to be taught explicitly in the classroom and assessed as part of the normal marking by the teacher."

Errmmm...how would she have been abel to rite that lettter if she coodent spell proper?

Surely no one would have been able to understand it?

Mrs Marklove went on to dig her own grave by saying:

"If children are given spellings to learn and get five out of five when practising with mum and dad and then only get one out of five the next day at school, it can give them a sense of failure.

I've heard comments in the playground from children asking each other what they got and, where this can be a positive thing when they get five out of five, it can also impound failure."

A small piece of advice for Nanny's teechers, competition is good as it encourages pupils to stretch themselves.

Learning to compete, and fail, is vital in order to be able to interact and succeed in the adult world. Those adults who as children have never tasted failure, and have not picked themselves up afterwards, are usually immature spoilt individuals who cannot cope in the adult world.

Nanny is stunting children's growth by not stretching them in this way.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Sacks

Oh dear, Nanny's drive to eliminate competition (winning and losing) from our lives took a sinister new twist recently.

On the pretext of our old "friend" health and safety, Nanny's chums at John F Kennedy Primary School (I didn't know he was British?) banned children from taking part in sack and three-legged races at their school sports day.

Seemingly Nanny is worried that they may hurt themselves.

Twats!

Simon Woolley, head of education at Beamish in County Durham, said:

"We looked at a three-legged race and a sack race but what we want to do is minimise the risk to the children.

We had to assess which of the activities were liable to cause a risk. We thought we would be better to do hopping and running instead because there was less chance of them falling over."

Earth to Woolley...children fall over; it's called growing up you prat!

I fell over lots of times, scabbed my knees then took great joy in picking the scabs off...I am now approaching 46 and still have the use of all of my organs (yes indeed!).

Nothing got infected, fell off or got permanently damaged despite numerous falling overs and scab pickings...why only the other day at Embankment I slipped on the wet floor arse over tit, and bruised/grazed my legs and other parts...yet, I recovered fine (I didn't sue either).

What is the matter with these knobheads?

Why do they deny children the pleasures and activities that they so freely participated in decades ago?

This is not the way to prepare children for adulthood.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Competition

In the real world we have to face up to the fact that there are others competing for the same things (material, social, jobs, power, ego related etc) that we are; it's called life.

Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose.

We learnt to compete, and deal with failure, when we were young.

We were lucky!

In Nanny's world competition is bad, as that means there are losers. Therefore she has banned competition.

Children under the age of eight have been banned by the Football Association from playing in football leagues and cups, as there are fears that they are under too much pressure from competitive parents.

The new rules stipulate that matches can still be played, but that the results must be kept private and no league tables can be compiled.

Additionally children should not compete in knockout tournaments where there are trophies or medals.

This idea is complete bollocks!

How else will they learn how to deal with success and failure?

How do you play football non competitively?

Failure is character building.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Hiding Behind Nanny's Petticoats

There is one thing worse than Nanny...

Really? I hear you ejaculate (can I say ejaculate here?)

Yes, there really is one thing worse than Nanny!

What's that then Ken?

People, or organisations, who hide behind Nanny's petticoats and use her policies/warped ideas to further their own commercial/political ends.

Ladies and Gentleman...a roll on the drums please...



Presenting...

Tesco!

Their crime?

They have recently publicly demanded that Nanny introduce new laws to ban the sale of cut-price alcohol.

Tesco claims that this is in response to the public concern over the level of drink-fuelled crime and disorder.

Tesco claim that legislation is required to "ensure responsible pricing on alcohol".

Now the more intelligent amongst you may well ask, why doesn't Tesco simply put their prices up?

Oh dear oh dear, how little you understand the dilemma that Tesco finds itself in.

You see, if it were to do that people would simply shop elsewhere; and we couldn't have that now, could we?

You see, what Tesco actually wants to do is to use Nanny to pass laws that will enable it and its rivals to fix the prices (to the detriment of the consumers) which is of course illegal at the moment.

Sir Terry Leahy, Tesco's chief executive, has already been pushing Gordown Brown to discuss measures, including price controls, to tackle anti-social and under-age drinking.

In case you have forgotten, despite these "valiant" claims to be a "responsible" corporate citizen and "concerned" about cheap booze, Tesco has been happily selling cans of lager for less than the price of bottled water (mind you that says more about the extortionate price of water - real consumer rip off - than the price of booze).

Lucy Neville-Rolfe, an executive director at Tesco, recently said:

"We accept that we have a role to play in addressing the problem of anti-social drinking.

Competition law prevents businesses discussing anything to do with price with each other and imposes severe penalties for breaches.

The only safe solution is for the Government to initiate and lead those discussions and to bring forward legislative proposals which Tesco and others in our industry can support.

Such proposals would have to apply to all retailers of alcohol otherwise they would be ineffective, as those looking for cheap alcohol would simply shop with lower-priced operators not covered by the legislation, undermining our business and achieving nothing."

Bollocks!

It's a price fixing scheme from start to finish, designed to stifle competition (most notably the smaller corner shops).

It is unpleasant to see a commercial organisation hiding behind Nanny's petticoats in this manner, organisations should not support/encourage restrictive state practices to further their own commercial ends. This can lead us all down a very unpleasant road indeed.

Tesco should be reminded that other organisations, who in the past supported "assertive" state control, have some very ugly history that they have had to hang their heads in shame over - eg Krupp.

Nanny Bans Balloons

Give me strength!

I have read about some stupid things that Nanny has done over the past few years, but this one ranks pretty high on the knobhead scale; especially as it has been perpetrated by Tesco.

It seems that Nanny's lickspittles in Tesco have got a phobia over balloons, or rather the latex that the balloons are made from.

In Tesco's view, the balloons present a clear and present danger to the health and safety (pass the sick bag) of children.

As such, Tesco have banned Barney Baloney (a clown) from using balloons in his in store act.

Barney Baloney twists them into animal shapes and then hands them to children. Tesco Crossgagtes Centre will have none of that, and have told him to stick to his; magic, puppets, juggling and an emu costume to keep the children amused.

Barney has not had much luck recently, as he has also had to abandon his bubble-making machine.

For why?

Seemingly there is a health and safety risk of children slipping on the floor, and our good old blood sucking chums in the insurance industry have refused him public liability insurance.

There you have it again, public liability insurance being used as the weapon of choice by Nanny as she stamps out every little pleasure that we have.

Back to the balloon issue, a Tesco spokesman said:

"This is a health and safety issue

(the sound that you hear is me retching!)

We have banned balloons because latex

is used in the manufacture of them and this

can trigger an allergic reaction in some children.

We always have the welfare of children at heart."

What a load of old bollocks, if they really had the welfare of children at heart they wouldn't sell half the sugar laden shit that is so temptingly placed at child's eye level near the checkout.

This is just another example of corporate cowardice, whereby instead of using common sense the easiest option has been chosen; namely banning something.

Precisely how many children have died in the last year or so from touching balloons?

Are we now breeding such a feeble bunch of sprogs that they really cannot touch or eat anything?

Exposing these weaklings to the things that they claim harm them will do them a power of good.

On the subject of Tesco, well I suggest that you boycott them and shop elsewhere.

Feel free to drop them a note via these links:

-investor.relations@uk.tesco.com
-customer.service@tesco.co.uk
-Competition Commission

Who Ate All The Pies?

Hello folks, I have dragged myself away from the mince pies and assorted Christmas goodies to bring you this sorry tale of Nannyism that landed on my desk a wee while ago.

Nanny has stuck her interfering nose into the noble art of pie eating. The organisers of Wigan's prestigious pie eating contest have been seduced by Nanny's dark side, and changed the rules.

First prize has always gone to the contestant who could eat the most meat and potato pies in three minutes.

However, the title of World Pie Eating Champion will now be awarded to the person who can eat a single pie in the shortest time.

Pah!

I spit upon such nonsense.

This debasement of the noble art of pie eating is in response to Nanny's incessant whining about the number of calories that we all consume.

As if this were not enough, to add insult to injury, vegetarians will be allowed to eat non meat pies.

What is the world coming to?

Dave Smyth, who won the first contest in 1992 when he ate four pies in three minutes, thinks that this is bollocks.

Quote:

"This contest has always been about savouring as many pies as possible

over a three minute period,

not sprinting through a few mouthfuls of a single pie.

They've taken things too far this year.

Pies are supposed to be meat and potato

and anything else just isn't normal.

I intend to lobby the organising committee

and I'm not going to rest until I've got answers."

Each pie weighs 12oz and contains about 400 calories.

Organiser Tony Callaghan said:

"I realise it may be controversial,

but this is the way forward for pie-eating at this level.

It will make for an exciting sporting spectacle,

whilst also doffing its cap to Government guidelines on obesity.

We have also bowed to relentless pressure from the Vegetarian Society

and agreed to introduce a vegetarian option,

although vegetarian pie-eaters in the competition

will be allowed to eat a slightly smaller version

because of its rather more glutinous content."

FYI, Hitler was a vegetarian.

In honour of this noble art I am off to consume another mince pie!

Educashun

It is nice to know that Nanny's educashun system, so prized in presenting us with 100% pass rates, is now recognised by those in higher education as producing illiterates.

It seems that British students are struggling to win places at university because of competition from European applicants, who have "better English".

Malcolm Grant, the provost of University College London, said that the reputation of higher education in Britain made it a beacon for highly qualified English-speaking students from across Europe, including those from the European Union's new member states.

Speaking at a seminar organised by the think-tank Politeia, Professor Grant said admission tutors were offering places to highly motivated French, German and east European students.

Quote:

"Often, people who have studied a foreign language formally are better at it."

To make matters worse, EU students must repay the £3,000 a year top-up fees when their annual earnings exceed £15,000. However, Nanny has not yet worked out how to keep tabs on their salaries.

Doh!

The Naked Civil Servant

Ever wondered why Nanny needs to employ over 7 million trolls in her public sector empire?

Simple, they're all shagging and fighting each other!

It turns out that Nanny's minions in the Rural Payments Agency (RPA) Newcastle have been caught indulging in rumpy pumpy in toilets, during office hours (who does that remind you of?), and of wandering around naked.

One person has already been sacked, and officials have begun an investigation.

Aside from the obvious, what I find most alarming about this is that these morons allowed themselves to be caught on CCTV. What does this say about the quality of intellect of the people that Nanny hires to work for her (oh sorry I mean us...we do of course pay these people's wages!)?

Seemingly, staff have been caught leaping naked from filing cabinets, having sex in office toilets, holding break-dancing competitions during working hours and fighting in a reception area.

The RPA claim that their mission is to:

"be a customer focused organisation delivering high quality services,

including processing payments and receipts,

conducting inspections and recording animal identification,

to government and the rural community."

Er, quite!

Much like most other people in Nanny's ever growing empire, they don't give a toss for the public (ie the people who pay their wages). This attitude comes from the very top.

Maybe, given the seemingly endemic "take the piss" culture in the public sector, I have been too hard on the Smooth Talking Bar Steward?

Seemingly he was, after all, only following normal custom and practice within the public sector.

Nanny Saves The Dragon

Quite how daft Nanny makes herself look at times never ceases to amaze me. Although St George's Day was back in April, this particular Nanny St George's Day story only surfaced recently.

Angie Sayer, landlady of the New Inn in Wedmore Somerset, got into a spot of bother with Nanny's Dragon protection squad.

Her crime?

On St George's Day she held an archery competition, in which she used the Welsh flag as the target.

The Welsh flag has a dragon at the centre, and the logic being that since St George killed the dragon a spot of dragon hunting on St George's Day would be a good idea.

Mrs Sayer was forgetting one thing, Nanny's ever watchful Dragon Protection Squad were in the area. Seemingly one of Angie's dafter patrons thought that it would be "amusing" to report the matter to the police, for a "laugh".

Anyhoo, Nanny's police force decided that this competition constituted an incitement to commit racial hater and paid Angie a visit.

She was interviewed for two hours by Nanny's thought police, who concluded that they would not be taking any further action.

No matter, the damage is done; the fear of the State paying "visit" to "discuss" thought crimes has now been well and truly planted in those connected with this story, and anyone who has read about it.

I wonder if this is the sort of "community action against yobbery" that John Reid had in mind?

Nanny's Man of Straw

Nanny's man of Straw, Jack, waded into the "cartoon debate" on Friday; by attacking the European papers who printed the offending cartoons.

He said:

"I believe that the republication of these cartoons has been unnecessary, it has been insensitive, it has been disrespectful and it has been wrong.

There are taboos in every religion. We have to be very careful about showing the proper respect in this situation."

A cynic might suggest that his concerns about causing offence may be down to the fact there is a large Muslim community in his constituency.

There are several points that the man of Straw should remember:

1 The cartoons were published by Western media organisations in Western countries. The state does not control the media in the West.

2 We, and the rest of Europe, are not Muslim nations.

3 Muslim media organisations regularly print anti Semitic cartoons.

4 The placards being brandished by the radicals in the London demonstrations called for a repeat of 7/7, that is incitement to murder is it not?

Isn't that a crime in this country?

5 The Western media regularly pillories other religions, which no doubt annoys/offends some of the more fundamental followers of those religions, why should Islam be a sacred cow?

6 The cartoons are now easily accessible on line, does that mean that all ISP's and net based companies are also going to be subject to this campaign of abuse and intimidation?

7 The cartoons were also published in Lebanon.

8 Many in the West may well object to the offensive and derogatory use of the word "infidel" by some Muslims to describe "non believers", yet they do not take to the streets and riot.

9 An Iranian newspaper has launched a competition for cartoonists to submit cartoons about the Holocaust. However, I doubt that (as immature and as pathetic as the competition may be) there will be mass protests by non Muslims in the streets or that the Iranian Embassies in Europe will be attacked.

10 In 2001 an episode of South Park featured an animated all singing, all dancing Mohammed. Why were there no large scale protests then?

11 Whilst it is reasonable to believe that there are piles of British, American and Israeli flags ready to burn in the Middle East; I find it unlikely that there is a such a ready stock of Danish and Norwegian flags.

The fact that the protesters have managed to lay their hands on such a large number of flags, indicates that the "protests" are being co-ordinated and orchestrated by "higher" authorities.

Nanny Bans Bristols

Nanny has had another attack of Orwellian correctness.

Her friends in Wyre Forest Council are concerned that the English language contains words that do not really please them.

As such, much like a jumped up third world failing dictator, they have decided to ban these "offensive" words.

What are the words that the good people of Wyre Forest are no longer allowed to speak?

-Ship shape

-Bristol fashion

-Nitty gritty

It seems that, according to the Orwellian thought police, these may refer to the slave trade. Needless to say, they have got it wrong, see below.

To be fair to the morons at Wyre Forest Council, this is not entirely of their own doing.

You see they hired consultants, yes that's right they spent your money on consultants, to tell them what words are no longer de rigueur.

By the way, if you want to hire these Orwellian thought police you can contact them at Aldridge Training Solutions. I have tried to find a website for this oragnisation, but cannot. I would be grateful if someone can provide contact details for publication on this site.

Money well spent I think, don't you?

Needless to say the good people of Bristol are well pissed off at the slur on their good name.

The city's Lord Mayor, Peter Abraham, said he had always understood the term referred to the standard of sailors and ships in the city and pre-dated links with slavery.

Mr Abraham said:

"I have used the phrase for 60 years and my family has there is no way it can be regarded as politically incorrect."

Bristol historian Gerry Brooke said:

"These councillors have certainly got the wrong end of the stick. Bristol was a very difficult port to work in before its floating harbour was built".

Adding:

"The term comes because vessels built and loaded in the city were always first class."

Disregarding the facts, the 15 council members who attended the council's equality and diversity meeting were instructed to stand by the ruling.

Nice to see they are keeping an open mind!

Wyre Forest councillor Ken Stokes, when interviewed by the press, said the terms were now taboo has even apologised for repeating the phrase "nitty gritty" over the phone.

What a prat!

There is still some common sense in the council. Councillor June Salter said:

"The political correctness is getting pathetic. I am not racist and I don't need to be told how not to be a racist, which is why I didn't attend."

I for one am getting mighty fed up with the morons running this country.

It is time to let them know what we think of them.

As such I suggest that we have an informal competition, compose an email that contains all of the above banned phrases; and send it to the good people at Wyre Forest Council.

Here is their email address communications@wyreforestdc.gov.uk

Please copy your email into the comments box, and the best/most original may (if I am in a very good mood) win a T shirt. You must confirm that you have sent it to the council.

The competition will be open for as long as I can be bothered, and any decision as to who wins will be entirely dependent on my mood at the time.

Good luck!

The Thunderer

You may recall the Christmas competition on this site; about the cartoon that appeared in The Times, in December, that bore a striking similarity to this site's logo.

The matter has now been resolved.

After a few emails, back and forth, between myself and that most respected of media organs in which I suggested that maybe they would like to print a story about this site; they responded, very helpfully, by saying that they will not be taking me up on my suggestion.

So much for co-operation between media organisations!

Feel free to write to them telling them that this site deserves some publicity, The Times.

We Have a Winner!

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a winner in the Christmas competition.

Duncan emailed me this morning, with a link to the article that the "Blairy Poppins" cartoon relates to.

Rather bizarrely it was attached to an article about "split caps", published on the 11th of December http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,630-1398674,00.html.

I have written to the Times asking them about their "inspiration" for this cartoon.

In the meantime Duncan, if you can let me know your size and address, a T shirt will be winging its way off to you.

Congratulations!

Ken

Christmas Competition

www.nannyknowsbest.com is pleased to announce that it is holding a special Christmas competition.

A couple of weeks ago I received an email from a visitor, who had seen a cartoon of "Blairy Poppins" (see left). He found it on The Times website at the following address http://images.thetimes.co.uk/TGD/picture/0,,165989,00.jpg

Now the eagle eyed amongst you will notice that it bears a distinct similarity to the logo of this site, even the title "Blairy Poppins" is the same.

What is odd is that I cannot find the article, or story, which the cartoon refers to on the Times website. Additionally, I wrote to the Times asking them about it; they replied that they could not trace it, and that it was not drawn by any of their cartoonists.

A real mystery, don't you think?

Therefore I would like to ask for your assistance in tracing the origin of this cartoon, and the article/story to which it relates.

The first person to correctly identify the source of the cartoon, and the story to which it relates, will win a fantastic Nanny Knows Best T shirt from Nanny's store.

The decision of the judges is final, and any attempt to argue with them will be ignored.

Nanny Bans Nursery Rhymes

Nanny is clearly feeling a little bored with life at the moment; she has commissioned, at great expense to her charges (that’s you and me folks!), a study into violence in nursery rhymes.

The study, carried out by the Bristol Royal Hospital for Children, found that the frequency of nursery rhyme violence was more than 10 times greater than in programmes shown on TV before the watershed.

The study focussed on 25 popular rhymes, including; Humpty Dumpty and Jack and Jill.

The scenes of violence included:

• Humpty Dumpty being hurt in a fall



• Jack and Jill tumbling down a hillside



• Simple Simon being thrown to ground by a cow



• Rock a bye baby crashing to earth, as the cradle falls (wouldn’t that be covered under a manufacturer’s warranty or something?)

The conclusion of the study was that television is not the only source of violent imagery for children.

Nanny will therefore be decreeing that the current nursery rhymes are unsuitable for children, and ban them. She will then issue new, “sanitised”, rhymes that are less harmful to young minds.

As you all know, this site is happy to co-operate with Nanny in any way.

Therefore, I am launching a special competition; whereby visitors to www.nannyknowsbest.com can write their own Nanny style “sanitised” nursery rhymes.

These new “sanitised” rhymes can be based on traditional ones, or be entirely “free form”.

Please submit your entries to me, marking them for the attention of the Rhyme Sanitation Department. The winners will earn the kudos, and “notoriety”, of having their names and creations published on this site.

Good luck!