Those of you unfamiliar with the joys of Croydon; its fine architecture, beautiful central thoroughfares (such as Dingwall Road) and popular/thriving shopping centres (such as Centrale, which has an occupancy rate of less then 50%) should take a look at my special site dedicated to Croydon www.croydoniscrap.com.
Oddly enough, whenever I write to the council about the decaying infrastructure of Croydon they never answer; even the local "dead cat in tree" rags have stopped mentioning the site.
I wonder why?
Anyhoo, in addition to the joys that I describe in full technicolour detail on that site, Croydon hosts the Home Office's main immigration centre at Lunar House ("affectionately" known as Lunartic House by us locals).
As we all know Nanny takes pride in her work to integrate various religions, races and creeds under one unifying concept of Britishness. Therefore it was with great pride, as a Croydon resident, that I read about Nanny employing a leading member of an extremist Islamic group in Lunartic House.
Abid Javaid is a "senior executive officer" in the IT department at the Immigration and Nationality Directorate (in Lunartic House), this processes asylum and visa applications.
In addition to his role in helping people become British, Javaid is also an activist in the fundamentalist Islamic group Hizb-ut Tahrir. This "organ" does not believe in democracy, but instead wants a worldwide Islamic state under Shariah law.
Is it British to be anti democratic?
Blairy Poppins asked for the group, which calls for Jews to be murdered, to be banned last year.
Patrick Mercer, Tory party Homeland Security spokesman, has noted that the position that Javid holds is a tad sensitive.
"I am amazed that this man has managed to infiltrate
such a sensitive government department.
I find it deeply worrying.
This is an insidious and dangerous organisation
that is clearly trying to worm its way into as many
government organisations as possible.
In August 2005, the Prime Minister said that these people should be banned.
Now, less than 18 months later, they are,
to all intents and purposes, legal.
This is a clandestine organisation
which seeks to infiltrate wherever it can.
This is further proof, if any were needed,
that both the IND and the Home Office are unfit for purpose."
Lunartic House has in the past offered a premium service to migrants if they agreed to perform sexual favours.
That's the spirit guys!
Hundreds of thousands of claims for visas and asylum are stacked in cardboard boxes, and the IND has been accused of losing track of applicants.
In other words it is a shite organisation, and symbolic of the failure of Nanny and her minions to run anything remotely resembling a piss up in a brewery.
A Home Office spokesman helpfully said:
"Home Office civil servants are expected to abide
by Home Office rules governing their conduct.
They are also subject to the Civil Service code."
Now you know why it is called Lunartic House!
By the way, if there is anyone from the media reading this who wants to help me kick Croydon council up the backside; I would be very grateful if you could do a piece on my Croydon website.