There's nothing like getting on the wrong side of Nanny for giving you a black mark for life in her "naughty book".
That is at least what Michael Reeves, of Swansea, discovered to his cost the other week, when he was given a criminal record for life.
He put a scrap of paper in a bin bag meant for bottles and cans!
Mr Reeves holds the dubious distinction of being Britain's first recycling martyr, after Nanny's criminal justice system fined him £200 for disobeying rules about sorting his rubbish.
As if to add insult to injury, Mr Reeves had actually volunteered to take part in the recycling scheme launched by Nanny's chums on Swansea Council.
Clearly Mr Reeves does not know the old army motto:
"Never volunteer for anything!"
Seemingly one scrap of junk mail found its way into a bag designated for other rubbish. Nanny's council workers, being the ever efficient spies that Nanny has employed them to be, found his name and address on it and prosecuted him.
Mr Reeves said:
"I now have a criminal record
and it will weigh me down like a millstone.
I will have to explain myself every time I apply for a new job.
And if I want to go to the United States
I will have to apply for a special entry visa."
Aside from the absurd over reaction by Nanny, in giving Mr Reeves a criminal record, it seems that the case took an unprecedented amount of time and resources to bring Mr Reeves to book.
No less than five, yes five, court hearings!
Mr Reeves spoke bitterly of his "interaction" with Nanny:
"Not satisfied with a false accusation of mixing up my rubbish,
they tried to throw in an additional charge
of leaving the bags out on the wrong day.
Looked at in one way it is a hilarious tale of barmy bureaucracy
but I found it no laughing matter."
Nanny is a vindictive old crone.
The Taxpayers' Alliance accused Nanny's local authorities of using the environment as an excuse to collect extra revenue.
Director James Frayne said:
"This is a joke.
The Green movement in Britain is in danger of being hijacked by tax-hungry politicians.
People will soon start to associate going green with going broke."
Mr Reeves actually denied ever putting the letter in the bag. There were no witnesses nor camera footage of him doing so, but magistrates still found him guilty.
Clearly a case of guilty until proven innocent!
"I am not a violent man or a drunkard.
I have not held up a bank.
I have not committed fraud.
But when I allowed a single piece of junk mail to appear in the wrong sort of recycling bag
I found myself committing a crime.
It was not me who put the letter in the recycling bag.
It was not even my bag.
Yet the presence of my address amid the cans and bottles
was enough for the court to find me guilty.
I have always been happy to do my bit for the environment
but I couldn't care less now."
Mr Reeves said that his first mistake was to put his rubbish out a day early, but only because he was going on holiday the next day. He was given a warning by Nanny that he could face legal action.
I guess that the crime rate in Swansea, eg muggings, assaults, drunkenness etc is at an all time low. That is surely the only reason as to why Nanny would waste so much time and resources on pursuing one man, for such an absurd alleged crime, in this vindictive fashion?