As you all know, we have recently celebrated Guy Fawkes night here in Nanny's Britain. Despite Nanny's attempts to stamp this out, it still seems to be going strong (even if some have to resort to "virtual bonfires", because of health and safety concerns).
However, as much as I am anti Nanny, I must raise an official complaint about a shortcoming in the "Firework Code". This is a simple list of do's and don'ts that try to help people avoid injury when using fireworks eg:
"Don't throw fireworks"
Regrettably Nanny has failed, this year, to make the list suitably "idiot proof". It seems that a 22 year old man had to be carted off to hospital for severe burns.
He was at a fireworks party in Sunderland, dropped his trousers and attempted to launch a rocket from his own backside!
Seemingly the rocket (a Black Cat Thunderbolt Rocket) got stuck, as it were, and then exploded "in situ"...er..so to speak.
The man is suffering from, unsurprisingly, burnt arse syndrome.
He will make a full recovery.
So there you go folks, Nanny let herself down this year by not including the following in the Firework Code:
"Do not attempt to launch rockets from your own arse"
That being said, no matter how many rules and regulations you have you will never be able to fully protect the moronic and stupid from themselves.