Ah the good old days, when Trumpton had a fire service that the world looked up to. No problem was too big or small for the lad's from the fire service to attend to.
Sadly, that was but a fantasy!
Nanny's health and safety Gestapo in Humberside has stuck its interfering nose into the work of the real fire service, and is considering the banning of ladders.
Yes, you did read that correctly...ladders!
Funny that, I thought that it was kind of an occupational hazard for firemen to shin up and down ladders.
Not in Nanny's' world!
You see folks, one of the services that firemen perform is that of installing smoke alarms in people's houses.
I did not know that before this...even I learn new things each day...and I'm a genius (so my Mum says!).
Anyhoo, Nanny's health and safety Gestapo are worried that the firemen might fall off the step ladder when they are installing the fire alarm. Therefore they wish a moveable platform to be used instead.
Now the Humberside Fire and Rescue Service is having to review its policy on step ladders, after Nanny's chums from the Fire Brigades Union pointed out that a 6ft stepladder may contravene the Health and Safety Executive Work at Height Regulations 2005.
Needless to say, the health and safety Gestapo are only too willing to validate their existence, and have agreed to review this.
As one fireman said:
"Where will this end?
Will we still be able to carry a rescued person down a ladder,
or enter a burning building, without the HSA on our back?"
Don't worry, it would be a breach of the health and safety regulations for you to carry the HSE on your back!
Not Blair's Britain: EU's Britain. things will be the same under Cameron.
ReplyDelete(Yet again!) words fail me!
ReplyDeleteSoon, the fireman's kit will consist solely of a blanket. Instructions to rescue people from upstairs windows will merely consist of holding the blanket on all four corners (at spacings to be approved of by the elf n safety) and telling them to "Jump!"
ReplyDeleteIt occurs to me that the H&S people should be encouraged to follow Trumpton into as many burning buildings as possible to assess the safety situation in detail.
ReplyDeletePreferably with the same level of appropriate protective clothing that the Army ar provided with.
Nothing lack a little 'on the job' experience to allow informed improvements to be proposed.
Vis a vis window cleaners - we still have them around my way. Are they working illegally? Am I risking prosecution if I pay them? Or is it still legal to mugged in that way every few weeks?
I think it was Pugh, Pugh, Barney, McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble, Grub. Unless I am missing a finer point of wit
ReplyDeleteThat's right
Deletesee http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2012/feb/20/how-we-made-trumpton
Sorry Grubb
ReplyDeleteAnd Barney McGrew, no comma. I wonder if firemen - sorry, incendiary emergency operatives - could be charged under the Human Rights acts for infringing the human rights of an arsonist to self-expression?
ReplyDeleteBig Al said...
ReplyDelete"I wonder if firemen - sorry, incendiary emergency operatives - could be charged under the Human Rights acts for infringing the human rights of an arsonist to self-expression? "
Surely that could only be the case if they thought he MIGHT be an arsonist and prevented him setting a fire (as per last week's predictive Thought ASBO VOO thing). If the fire is set, ablaze and put out the proof of human right violation would depend on on an interpretation of how much arson was enough arson to satisfy self-expression.
On the other hand I could see Trumpton being charged for the water and maybe having a fine slapped on them for breaking a drought order, if there were any left in force.
And given the amount of water they use there must surely be a drowning risk. Which suggests to me that they should all be equipped with wet suits and aqualungs. Of course that would mean they would need a cooling system as well.
It's probably easier just to let the places burn and simply employ someone afterwards to assess whether it was arson thus satisfying the needs of the insurance companies.
Probably don't need Trumpton at all really ...
"It occurs to me that the H&S people should be encouraged to follow Trumpton into as many burning buildings as possible to assess the safety situation in detail."
ReplyDeleteCan we not simply burn the H&S people at the stake?
Nope. What we have here is obstructive trade unionism, NOT HSE rubbish. "Helath and Safety" (like "Human Rights") is used as a rallying cry NOT by the liberal Nu Labour crew but by the Daily Mail 'educated' idiots who want to moan about the state of the world today. My (government) organisation uses plenty of ladders every day, nice long 'uns too. No problems with Health and Safety, two page risk assessment was written years ago, never an issue.
ReplyDelete'HEALTH AND SAFETY' is not crippling the nation, only the workshy. Firemen ARE allowed to climb ladders. Enough with the ignorant panic already.
The rhyme everybody remembers is the Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grub. Where did that come from ?
ReplyDeleteWell, it was just the rhythm. That was the big bit of choreography that I did, influenced by my wife who was a ballet dancer you see. Pugh and Pugh are twins you must understand - not Hugh, Pugh.