Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Voo Halloo

Voo Halloo!Nanny really loves her ASBO's, in her view they have really improved the quality of life in the UK. Yet, she knows that they are not the total solution to social and criminal problems.

Nanny has been working hard to find the final solution. She feels that she needs something that will not just punish a criminal, and keep him away from decent people, but something that will stop a crime being committed even before the criminal (or potential criminal) has thought of committing that crime.

Ah, if only Nanny had the gift of second sight; she could lock all those nasty people away, who have yet to commit a crime, and at the stroke of a pen zeroise the crime statistics.

An impossible dream?

No, for now we have VOO's!

What the fark is a VOO then Ken?

Well, dear reader, a VOO is a Violent Offender Order designed to be served on people who might commit a violent offence.

Bliary Poppins wants to introduce VOO's, which will be targeted at those whom police believe are likely to commit violence.

They will be aimed not only at people who have a history of violent behaviour, or who have just left prison, but also at those who may not yet have committed an offence.

Brilliant isn't it?

The Home Orifice will publish a plan next month which proposes that potential trouble makers will be banned from certain areas, or mixing with certain people. Police will be alerted when the potential criminal moves house and possibly force him to live in a named hostel, the potential trouble makers' vehicle details will be given to police and curfews imposed on them.

The orders will last for at least two years, with no upper limit. Any breach could lead to up to five years in jail. Ministers believe police will apply for 300 to 450 Voos each year.

Oh this is so brilliant, why has no one ever thought of doing this before?

Well you see folks, there is one small fly in Nanny's oinkment.

Can you see that fly?

Yes, that's right, Nanny doesn't have the gift of second sight!

In order for the police to identify future criminals they will be using rather unscientific, and error prone, key performance indicators (KPI's), viz:

-The person's formative years and upbringing

-"cognitive deficiencies"

-"entrenched pro-criminal or antisocial attitudes"

-"a history of substance abuse or mental health issues"

-The person's domestic situation

-The person's relationship with their partner or family

-"possession of paraphernalia related to violent offending (eg balaclava)"

-"possession of extremist material"

Even better, just like ASBO's, when the police apply for a VOO all they have to do is apply via a magistrate's court, where the threshold for burden of proof is lower than a criminal court.

Brilliant!

I see no flaws whatsoever in this master plan of Nanny's; for if I did, I might be classed as a potential VOO recipient, as this site could be classified as "extremist".

10 comments:

  1. The next step will surely be that VOO people are made to wear distinctive clothing so the "normal" peoples will be able to see and recogonise them and therefore keep well clear.
    Probably this will be a large yellow circular patch on the back of each garment. or even the word YOO and the serial number tatooed on their arms.

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  2. "Oh this is so brilliant, why has no one ever thought of doing this before?"

    I'll give Nanny some credit for this one, it is clever, or perhaps I should say, "maniacally" clever.

    Anyone not permanently bed-ridden is potentially a violent offender. Have you ever been angry enough to want to kill someone? Or at least to fantasize about bashing the person in the head with some substantial object? Come on now, fess up.

    Well, there you go! Who's to say you won't act on those impulses at some point in the future? Why, you're simply a violent incident waiting to happen. It's a wonder you weren't locked up years ago.

    Since we all pretty much qualify for a VOO, Nanny can issue them as she pleases. Let's say you receive a VOO, - unjustly, by your lights - and you object. Aha, Anger Management Problem!

    You've just made Nanny's case for restraining you. And the more you object, the stronger her case becomes.

    Nanny, you're a genius!

    Unfortunately, all the rest of us are actual or potential inmates.

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  3. Given the amount of "boundary creep" most of Nanny's laws seem to be susceptible to in very short periods I would imagine within 5 years a VOO would be mandatory ar Birth and certainly continu throughout childhood for all those except some of the severely disabled who are unable to move of their own volition.

    They would of course continue in adulthood for anyone who drives (murderers in waiting according to some people) or cycles (evidence of potential self harm).

    Pugilism, Rugby and perhaps Football might attract perpetual VOOs.

    The thing is though - Nanny does not really know what to do with such offenders now and tends to leave them loose in the community one way or another. The police already know who they are - or used to. I assume the red tape is not so burdensome as to take that information from them.

    So if the suggestion is 'for real' rather than 'for some other unstated purpose' or 'for a bit of publicity and to hide some other matters on the day of the announcement' one has to wonder about how far down the ideas barrel they are scraping. Maybe the barrel is small and shallow.

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  4. Thought Crime.
    Oi! Tony! No!
    '1984' was a WARNING, not a bloody INSTRUCTION MANUAL.

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  5. This is just a way to get at any-one that this regieme disapproves of,especially now ,with the rising fortunes of the political right wing,and with 11,000 odd eu laws , why every-one is bound to be guilty of something,when will the English people rise up and hang these traitors?

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  6. I wonder if this extremist material will include the qu'ran...

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  7. mitch6:33 PM

    what happened to "presumed innocent"?
    I think blair watched minority report on the flight back and had a vision.what a twat.

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  8. David J Hilton8:28 PM

    And I thought the film 'Minority Report' was a fantasy.

    Errm no - it's the real world and it about to become a dangerous one.

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  9. DocBud11:36 PM

    If "Minority Report" is becoming a reality, let's hope "V for Vendetta" will follow it, preferably without the wanton destruction of some of London's finest, if now defunct, buildings, e.g. Courts of Justice, Parliament. I'd consider the GLA building as being expendable in the fight to re-free the British people.

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  10. David J Hilton8:13 PM

    Well put Doc!

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