Nanny Bans Damian Lewis

My sympathy to the current pupils of Acland Burghley school in Tufnell Park who, if some former alumni have their way, will be denied seeing Damian Lewis (who lives locally) launch the school’s 50th anniversary celebrations.

For why?

He went to Eton, and some former have decreed that anyone who went to an "elitist" school must never cross the threshold of Acland Burghley or mix with current pupils!

One former pupil, City University sociology lecturer Rachel Cohen, who attended the school in the 1980s, has set up a petition which has attracted 90 signatures urging the school to change its plans.

Nice to see inverse snobbery is still thriving in Britain!

Snobbery, be it top down or bottom up, is a sure fire way to stifle ambition and to keep everyone in their perceived "social class".


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Traffic Lights and Speed Bumps Are Dangerous

Kudos to The Institute of Economic Affairs, for stating that four in five sets of UK traffic lights should be torn down to reduce travel delays and boost the economy.

Additionally the Institute doesn't think much of speed bumps and bus lanes either.

In its view the proliferation of traffic lights, speed bumps and bus lanes seen in Britain in recent decades is “damaging to the economy”. It estimates that a two-minute delay to every car journey ends up costing the UK economy about £16 billion every year.

Ironically these "safety" measures make the roads more unsafe. The IEA is quoted by the Telegraph:

“Not only is a majority of traffic regulation damaging to the economy, it also has a detrimental effect on road safety and the environment.

Road-users rely on third-hand instructions rather than first-hand judgement about how to adapt to the conditions and proceed safely."

The number of traffic lights in England increased by a quarter since 2000 and some 60,000 speed humps have been installed since they were first introduced in the 1980s, the report says.

These "safety" measures also negatively impact Nanny's totem of the environment, “as drivers brake and accelerate, increasing emissions, noise pollution and harmful health effects”.

Traffic controls are in fact detrimental to road safety because it “subverts our social nature and removes individual responsibility”.

I assume Nanny will ignore the findings of the IEA.
 

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Fried Vegetables Are Good For You

I am gemused to read that, contrary to all previous advice from Nanny, the healthiest way to cook vegetables is to fry them (not boil them).

That, at least, is according to a study conducted by researchers from the University of Granada and published in Food Chemistry magazine.

Frying improves antioxidant capacity and increases the amount of phenolic compounds, which help to prevent conditions such as diabetes and cancer.

The research does note that you should only use olive oil.

However, I say, what's the harm in using lard?

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Nanny's Stress Words

Feeling a bit torschlusspanik this morning? @DrTiffWattSmith’s dictionary of indescribable emotions: pic.twitter.com/NBlAVZcH2T

— BBC Radio 5 live (@bbc5live) January 25, 2016

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Guilty Until Proven Innocent

Commiserations to Tony Kemp, a cab driver, who was suspended for six days from taking children to school after he was seen kissing and hugging two girls outside a school in North Yorkshire.

One small problem with the action taken by Nanny, the girls he was hugging were his own daughters!

The Telegraph reports that North Yorkshire County Council contacted Mr Kemp last Thursday, telling him he was being suspended from the school run with immediate effect.

He was told an allegation had been made against him but he could be given no more details, and he had still not been officially informed or interviewed by Tuesday afternoon.

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North Yorkshire County Council then reinstated Mr Kemp on Tuesday after a formal interview.

Mr Kemp, not unreasonably, does not understand why he was not informed what had been alleged and interviewed as a matter of urgency, which would have allowed him to explain what had happened.

A council spokeswoman said:

"We have followed the Child Protection Procedures. This matter has now been investigated and found to be false." 

How about an apology to Mr Kemp for not interviewing him immediately?

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Advice To The Oxford Union

Given that no man or woman is a saint (once their lives are placed under a microscope) and given that people's views about what is right and wrong changes with time, why don't we pull down every statue ever erected?

For good measure, since Rhodes is so offensive to you, let us also abolish the Rhodes Scholarship.

I assume that those of you who currently benefit from it will be refunding all monies received?

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The Dangers of Terraced Houses

Dear oh dear, what kind of world do we now live in?

As per the BBC:

"A 10-year-old Muslim boy who mistakenly wrote that he lived in a "terrorist house" during an English lesson at school has been investigated by police.

The pupil, who attends a primary school in Lancashire, meant to say he lived in a "terraced house".
The boy was interviewed by Lancashire Police at his home the next day and the family laptop was examined. 

Teachers have been legally obliged to report any suspected extremist behaviour to police since July."

Whilst I appreciate that we need to be, sadly, very vigilant. I do wonder about this particular case:

1 Could the teachers not have asked him first what he meant, before bringing in the police?

2 The standard of spelling/literacy seems to have fallen dramatically since I was a nipper!

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Advice To Cyclists

Know the difference , LMFAO .## Clive .

Posted by Wow , Don't Miss This . on Monday, 11 May 2015

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Nanny's Fat Police On The Prowl

Nanny's fat police have caused some distress to Olivia Lyndsay, an 11 year old, who had the misfortune to be weighed and measured by the fat police (as part of Nanny's National Child Measurement Programme) at her school Trewirgie Junior in Redruth.

Their conclusion was that she exceeded Nanny's BMI, which was then communicated in a letter. This in turn so upset Olivia, that she stopped eating for two days.

Her mother, Amelya (a fitness instructor) is quoted by the Telegraph:

"It is unbelievable how much damage can be done by this programme.

We never eat processed foods as I am always really careful of our diets, having a background in nutrition. 

They never bothered to investigate what my background was, despite staff being aware of what I actually do for a living.

Olivia is now 158cm tall and was one of the tallest children in her year.

After receiving the letter she was so distraught, I had to pull out my notes from university to convince her that she has no problem as she refused to eat anything for two days."

I concur that BMI is bollocks, the best way to determine if you are fat is to measure your gut.

However, that aside, Olivia's upset could have been avoided if her amother had not told her the contents of the letter from the fat police.

You see dear readers, the letter was addressed to Olivia's mum; and as such it was down to her mum whether she told her the results or not!

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Never Drink Alone Again

Nanny has been warning us about the amount that we are allegedly drinking to excess. One cause of "excess" drinking is solitary drinking.

Kudos to Korean scientists who have developed this helpful robot, that will ensure you will never drink alone again!

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Nanny Bans Booze

Nanny has decided that we are drinking far too much, and has therefore decreed that we should only drink 14 units of booze a week.

As per the BBC:

"Men and women should drink no more than 14 units of alcohol a week - the equivalent of six pints of average strength beer or seven glasses of wine - in order to keep their health risks low."

What is the farking point of this decree from on high?

No one will listen to it, and it will be ignored.

On the positive side, the advice only applies to men and women; therefore children can get as shit faced as they want!

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