Nanny Never Checked To See if Masks in Schools are Harmful

 

Nanny's policy of requiring secondary school pupils to wear masks is, as anyone with some common-sense knows, harmful.

Aside from the hygiene issues, there are educational problems (pupils and teachers need to see facial expressions in order to properly communicate and learn) and psychological ones (pupils have been observed to be downcast and subdued).

It transpires that Nanny never took a risk assessment of the pros and cons of mandating masks for schools, instead she allowed the teaching unions to bully her into enforcing the measure.

"..instead of a scientific evaluation of the policy, the Department for Education (DfE) conducted a series of surveys to garner views among teachers...”

 
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Nanny Bans Raleigh, Nelson and Drake

 

Howden Junior School, in East Yorkshire, has ditched the house names of Sir Walter Raleigh, Admiral Nelson and Francis Drake and the school's student council has voted on the following replacements:

-Greta Thunberg 

-Marcus Rashford

-Amanda Gorman

-Malala Yousafzai.

The school can call its houses what it likes. However, what is rather telling is the headmaster's comment about the pupils' knowledge of the banned historical figures.

As per The Mail:

"The headteacher goes on to explain that the school had no 'tangible reason' to keep the historical names and that none of the pupils knew who they were as they were not part of the curriculum."

Maybe this shouldn't come as too much of a surprise given that in the last Ofsted inspection, the school was given a "requires improvement" rating:

“Provision for history (...) especially requires improvement”

 
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Back To School - Nanny Bans Covid Jokes

 

My sympathies to the poor little sods returning to school in the the coming days.

Not only do they face the stress of returning to an environment that they haven't seen since March, they will also face the transference of their parents' and teachers' own stresses and anxieties.

Case in point as reported by ITV, where kids risk being excluded for “malicious coughing” or making “inappropriate” jokes about the coronavirus pandemic, some schools have warned.

The new behavioural guidelines have been issued to parents as many schools prepare to welcome children back into their classrooms in England this week.

The Ark Alexandra Academy in Hastings, east Sussex, has set out a list of “coronavirus red lines” which will result in fixed-term exclusions for pupils should they be breached.

These include “deliberate or malicious” coughs or sneezes, “humorous, inappropriate comments or statements” related to Covid-19 and “purposeful physical contact with any other person”.

In a letter to parents in August, Jerome Scafe, network associate principal, said: 

“Any student that needs to have a fixed-term exclusion during the pandemic, will not return to main circulation until a risk assessment and we can be assured that the student will adhere to all our expectations.”

Good luck kids, you'll need it!

 

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Nanny Bans Entrepreneur

Commiserations to Oliver Cooper, who fell foul of Nanny's chums at Dixon's Unity Academy in Leeds.

He bought a £1.60 tub of Johnson's child hand wash from a Tesco store, as he waited for the school bus, before charging his fellow students 50p a pop to use it.

The enterprise earned him a £7.40 profit, however, he was subsequently sent home for breaching school rules.

Oliver now faces a day in isolation followed by a two-hour detention, which he branded a 'ridiculous' punishment.
 

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Nanny Bans "It"

Commiserations to the pupils at Rudyard Kipling Primary School, Woodingdean, were reportedly told they could no longer touch each other while playing at break time.

It has left children feeling “bored” at break times, while some parents say it will turn their children into “snowflakes” because they are being mollycoddled.

The Argus reports that a letter sent home to parents by the headteacher Joanne Smith said it follows concerns about “play fighting and rough play” that were “causing some children to get upset”.

She said games such as “it” and “team it” had “escalated” and said a new “gentle hands” rule was in place at the school.

It included teaching children “lots of new games” that follow the gentle rule.

Whilst Mrs Smith has told parents it does not mean children cannot touch each other, parents say their children were told not to touch one another.


A letter from Mrs Smith to parents states:

“To clarify, ‘Gentle Hands’ does not mean ‘no touching’. The children are of course allowed to hold hands or play clapping games with a friend should they wish to.

Gentle Hands simply means playing games outside that do not need to be physical.

This will ensure the playground is a happy, safe and calm place where everyone can enjoy their lunchtime running around and getting the exercise we know is important to them.”

I take it rugby etc is banned at this school?

A non scientific observation/query raises its head, as schools seek to cover kids in cotton wool and ban contact sports, "it" etc how is it that the levels of street violence appears to be escalating?

Could it be that by banning these games Nanny is breeding a generation of kids/teens who can't cope with reality, or control their emotions, and resort to hysterical violence when reality bites?

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Nanny To Ban Watches In Exams

Watches are now so sophisticated, that Nanny feels that all watches should be banned from exam halls to discourage cheating. Thus says an inquiry into the extent of malpractice in exams taken by pupils across the UK.

Smart watches, connected to the internet, are already banned from use by students taking public exams.


The review, commissioned by exam boards, says it is becoming difficult to distinguish between hi-tech and traditional watches.

Review chairman Sir John Dunford called for a "blanket ban" on watches.

In my day, the best you could do was write some answers on your wrist, or stuff a piece of paper into your tie (programmable calculators had been banned).

It is a fair point, but I cannot help to feel that if a child successfully manages to cheat (without being detected) then that child is destined for high political office or a senior executive role!

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Calories Banned In Maths Test Lest It Trigger People

It seems that in maths tests examiners must be careful not to mention calories in any questions, lest the hapless exam sitters are "triggered".

EdExcel exam board has said that students can complain if they felt “triggered” by a calorie-counting question. 

The Telegraph reports that pupils protested that a maths GCSE question about how many calories a woman had consumed for breakfast was distressing for anyone who has struggled with an eating disorder.

One student, a recovering anorexic, told how she was so upset by the question that she had to leave the exam hall in a panic.

The question said:

“There are 84 calories in 100g of banana. There are 87 calories in 100g of yogurt. Priti has 60g of banana and 150g of yogurt for breakfast. Work out the total number of calories in this breakfast”.

I pity these people, if they are triggered so easily in a school maths test, how the hell will they cope in the real world?

Their schools and parents are letting them down if they don't prepare them better for reality!

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PHE Want To Ban Cars From Schools

Nanny's quango, Public Health England, wants to ban cars from near schools.

Paul Cosford, the medical director of Public Health England, told the Times it should be socially unacceptable to leave a car running near school gates.

The comments came as PHE published a series of recommendations on how the government can improve air quality.

PHE said 28,000 to 36,000 deaths a year in the UK could be attributed to long-term exposure to air pollution.

All very well, but how does PHE intend to enforce such a rule?

More council enforcement officers and fines I assume?

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Ban Puddings - Serve Quinoa and Spinach

From page 3 of the Sunday Times. She sounds like enough of a crank to be invited to Downing Street to set food policy. pic.twitter.com/J369RXNJ2n

— Christopher Snowdon (@cjsnowdon) June 17, 2018

I pity the poor kids who end up with quinoa and spinach in their lunchbox.

My mum would pack me banana sarnies, cup cakes and home-made crisps.

On the subject of puddings, well clearly if someone is overweight then eating a pudding is not going to help them. However, puddings have been served in school canteens since time began; yet it is only in the last decade, or so, have kids become corpulent.

Methinks it's not the puddings which should be blamed for the outbreak of corpulence!

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Nanny To Weigh and Measure Schoolkids

Nanny at Number 10's Policy Unit is currently studying proposals whereby schools would be judged on how well they help their pupils to lose weight as part of the government’s national obesity strategy.

Schools across England would be required to weigh and measure their pupils every year. Those identified as obese would receive intensive and funded support to lose weight, including free gym classes and home visits.

Our country is being turned into Nazi Germany!

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Bright Pupils Do Better Than Less Bright Pupils!

Academics at Durham University have conducted a study that concludes that grammar schools perform no better than non-selective state schools, once their pupils' higher ability and wealth is taken into account.

I will let you ponder that for a minute or so, before I say what I think.

Seemingly the "apparent success" of these wholly selective schools was down to their brighter and more advantaged pupils.

Well, think about that, of course those pupils who are brighter and more motivated will do better!

The BBC reports that the research, based on the detailed results of nearly 550,000 pupils, suggests once the ability and social background of pupils is taken into account, grammar schools are no more or less effective than other schools.

The research not only looked at the social backgrounds of grammar pupils, but also:

• rates of chronic poverty
• ethnicity
• home language
• special educational needs
• age in the year group

The findings suggest England's grammars take only a tiny proportion of pupils who are, or have been, eligible for free school meals.

Let me make a small, but important point, no one human being is identical to another in terms of ability, intellect, skills etc etc. Streaming of pupils (whether in public, grammar or state schools) is necessary in order to ensure that all can achieve their best.

Classes of mixed ability pupils fail, because if the teachers focus on the brightest then the slower pupils will be left behind, and if the teachers focus on the slowest then the brighter pupils will become bored and disruptive.

Streaming is necessary to give all pupils a chance to achieve their best!

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Don't Touch The Snow!

Headteacher Ges Smith at Jo Richardson Community School in east London has banned his pupils from touching snow.
.
He said the new rule has been introduced for health and safety reasons.

Speaking this morning on Good Morning Britain, Mr Smith said:

‘The problem is it only takes one student, one piece of grit, one stone in a snowball in an eye with an injury and we change our view.

The rules are don’t touch the snow. If you don’t touch the snow you’re not going to throw it.’

He added that the snow also makes the children wet and cold.

Childhood fun and games (which are a method by which children learn to take bumps and knocks and interact with each other) are banned by Nanny and replaced by cotton wool.

This is neither safe nor wise!

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Nanny Bans Sausage Rolls

My thanks to a loyal reader who has advised me that Nanny's school lunchbox Gestapo are now searching for forbidden sausage rolls.

The BBC reports that the new policy at Shirley Manor Primary Academy in Bradford states parents will be called if banned foods are found in packed lunches.

Steve Fryer, whose son's sausage roll was confiscated, said the school should "stick to teaching kids".

The policy says pupils are encouraged to show their packed lunches to staff before and after they have eaten.

It states pork pies, sausage rolls and pepperoni sticks should not be included and neither should fruit squash or flavoured water.

Not Nanny's business!

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Nanny Hates Rugby

I see that Nanny has decreed that tackling should be banned from school rugby, lest there be an injury.

That somewhat undermines the entire game!

Anyhoo, given that Nanny is so worried about injuries arising from contact, what about those sustained playing football, hockey, cricket etc?

Surely these sports need to be "tamed" by Nanny as well?

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How Far Is Too Far For A School To Be?

One on TV turned a flat down because it was too far from the kids school a mile away. Kids where I live do a 10 mile round trip from age 5

— Sian Rodgers (@sianrodgers) July 5, 2017

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Nanny's Genital Inspectors

UKIP has said schools should check girls from ‘high risk’ groups once a year and after they have been on holiday.

The party wrote in their Integration Agenda:

"Implement school-based medical checks on girls from groups at high risk of suffering FGM. These should take place annually and whenever they return from trips overseas."

FFS!

Such "inspections" would constitute abuse!

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Happy "Er" Day!

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The Duke of Westminster Nails It - The Secret of His Success!

The Duke of Westminster's key to success. Priceless. https://t.co/mkPfwwttO3 pic.twitter.com/ydGupCD59H

— Katie Martin (@katie_martin_fx) August 10, 2016

Forget Nanny's exhortations to study in failing schools for meaningless qualifications from fake "universities" in degrees that have no value, in order to acquire a minding numbing job in which to bust your arse to pay her taxes.

It's who you know, not what you know that will help you through your life!

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Nanny To Monitor Kids' Internet

As per Jen Persson on Schools Week:

"While the compulsory retention of every website visit for every person in the UK was recently debated and passed in the House of Commons in the Investigatory Powers Bill, the plans for statutory surveillance of every child’s Internet use, in schools and at home, has gone unnoticed.

Without Parliamentary or public discussion, children’s internet use will be monitored by third parties from September. This is despite widespread associated concerns – including choking off free speech, religious freedom, and staff feeling vulnerable – presented to the Joint Select Committee for Human Rights by experts in education and security legislation.

The brief paragraph 75 in The Department for Education (DfE) “New measures to keep children safe online at school and at home” statutory guidance Safeguarding in Schools, will impose a change from a duty ‘to consider’ web monitoring to one that ‘should ensure’ it for educational establishments, excluding 16-19 academies and free schools.

The supporting advice to which the Government response points, suggests actively monitoring all screen activity during a lesson from a central console using appropriate technology as a solution, even in circumstances that suggest low risk. And that logfile information should be able to identify an individual user, and be reviewed regularly. Pro-active monitoring is suggested where alerts are managed by a third-party provider.

The Department for Education’s summary response and advice however offers little practical support to school leaders how to concretely take these things into account, while still meeting human rights legislation.

Without explicit clarity on the practice of monitoring personal electronic devices not owned by the school, we risk a slippery descent into schools made complicit in a privacy invasion of family life."

Thus the stage is set for kids to become tools of the state, from childhood onwards until they die of old age.

"Give me a child for the first 5 years of his life and he will be mine forever."

— Vladimir Lenin

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Nanny Bans Whistles

My thanks to a loyal reader for pointing me to a Nanny story of such utter absurdity, that I first thought it was a late April Fool!

St Monica's Catholic Primary School in Milton Keynes has banned whistles to signal the end of playtime.

For why?

It seems that, according to staff, whistles produce an “aggressive” noise that will scare the children.

The solution?

Staff must instead raise a hand in the air to get the attention of pupils at the end of break time.

Does this mean that whistles are also banned during sporting event such as football?

This is so absolutely farking stupid that I am lost for words!!!

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