The Dangers of Roughage

Snort!

How amusing to read that yet another of Nanny's dogmas, about what constitutes a healthy diet, is now being questioned.

It would appear that her long running, hectoring, lecturing about the necessity to eat lots of fibre turns out to be bollocks.

A team of researchers from the Netherlands, led by Rene Bijkerk of the University Medical Centre, claim that wheat bran and other fibrous foods that do not dissolve easily in water not only fail to soothe irritable bowels, but may actually make things worse.

Nanny, aided and abetted by the manufactures of breakfast crap, has been recommending daily doses of fibre in the form of insoluble bran for yonks.

However, and this is kind of key to the notion of recommending something without testing the theory first, there have been very few rigorous studies to see whether boosting intake of this type of fibre actually works.

Quel surprise!

Nanny spouting BS again without checking her facts first!

Blinky, blonkey, blimey, along comes a piece of research that disproves Nanny's old wives' tales.

Quote

"Bran showed no clinically relevant benefits, and many patients seemed not to tolerate bran.

Indeed, bran may worsen symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome and should be advised only with caution."

Wrt to breakfast crap purveyed by certain large manufacturing concerns, given the high sugar/salt content and almost zero nutritional value, I recommend that people eat the cereal box instead.

I guarantee that the box contains more nutrients and has a higher fibre content (if that's your particular "bag").

Alternatively, if you are constipated, I recommend a sherry (British of course) enema instead!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

The Dangers of Enemas

I came across this rather odd little tale of woe on the newswires yesterday, and I feel that it may well have implications for us in the UK.

Negligent homicide charges have been dropped against Tammy Jean Warner, of Texas City (in the USA), who had been accused of killing her husband with a sherry enema that led to alcohol poisoning.

Yes, you did read that correctly!

Michael Warner, 58, died on May 21 2004. The autopsy showed that the poor chap had been given an enema with enough sherry to have a blood alcohol level of 0.47 percent, almost six times the legal limit of .08 percent in Texas.

Seemingly Mr Warner was addicted to enemas, and often used alcohol in them to get drunk; as one does.

It seems that on the fateful night in question, Mrs Warner gave him at least two large bottles of sherry (each being 1.5 litres...that's a big bottle), which is stronger than wine, in the enema.

You couldn't make this up could you?

Anyhoo, I rushed to check my Harveys Bristol Cream, and was horrified not to find any warning label on the bottle advising me not to use it as an enema or to put it up my bottom.

Nanny has seriously let us down by not issuing an edict forcing sherry makers to put such a warning on bottles. However, I can only assume that we will soon see them on sherry bottles.

In keeping with the spirit of the occasion here is a small video:)

Nanny Bans Christmas Decorations

'Tis the season to be jolly, tra lah lah lah lah tra lah lah lah...etc.

In keeping with the season Nanny has decided to play Scrooge this year, and recently banned Christmas decorations in a South London Job Centre.

In Nanny's view Christmas decorations are offensive to the unemployed!

Where on earth does Nanny get these strange ideas from?

Chris Nicol, the area manager of South London, is of the belief that benefit claimants who can't afford tinsel may be upset by the sight of decorations; therefore he has banned them.

A somewhat prissy overreaction wouldn't you say?

Given that the British winter is miserable enough already, and Job Centres aren't exactly brimming with comfort and joy even in mid summer, a few cheerful decorations might at least provide a nano second or two of cheer to those people who are struggling to make ends meet.

Evidently the staff of the South London Job Centre are none too happy either.

One worker said:

"All the shops and offices around us are happily putting up their Christmas decorations but ours are in the cupboard.

Most people have complained about the lack of decorations.

The twinkling lights and tinsel always seemed to lift people's spirits.

Now we are all glumly sitting in the dark in case someone takes offence."

Mr Nicol doggegdly stuck to his role as Scrooge, saying:

"It's about considering the feelings of people

who might not to be able to afford Christmas.

Because of their circumstances they might not have decorations at home.

I don't think they should have their noses rubbed in it

by walking into a Job Centre.

I haven't heard that staff are unhappy

but it is impossible to please everyone."

Unless the those on benefit shut their eyes whenever they go to the Job Centre, it is highly likely that they will see Christmas decorations elsewhere; in shops, houses, offices etc.

Does Mr Nicol keep his eyes shut when he goes to work?

Does Mr Nicol in fact never leave the Job Centre?

Does it not occur to Mr Nicol that by not decorating the Job Centre, he makes claimants feel more miserable than they already are for walking in there?

Nanny does seem a tad anally retentive doesn't she?

Is it one "l" or two "l's" in "anally" (my spell check doesn't seem to cover that word)?

Maybe a good strong enema will sort Nanny out in time for Christmas.