Nanny's Unsuitable Species

My thanks to a loyal reader who alerted me to the demise of a beloved 50 year old cherry tree in Flixton (Greater Manchester).

For why?

Nanny's local authority inspectors had deemed that it had 'outgrown' its location and was an 'unsuitable species for the highway'.

Fearing health and safety issues, if the tree fell over because of its fungal infection, Trafford council chopped the tree down (without giving the residents any notice) at a cost of £1,500.

Trafford Council is unmoved by the complaints and is currently undertaking a major felling programme of mature trees located on main roads, and has identified 1,500 trees that could be removed from 80 roads.

Lisa Higginbottom from the council is quoted by the Mail:

"The reason for the works to the cherry tree were that after inspection there was evidence of a number of root decay fungi brackets at its base. 'The fungi in the tree would have rotted the roots leaving it unstable and eventually falling over without any warning, this risk is greater when it is in full leaf as the tree has a larger sail. 'Therefore the tree was felled on safety grounds.'"

The tree was replaced with an unsightly bollard!

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Auntie's Views On Cleavage

I understand that a particularly popular show on Auntie's network is The Voice (something that I have never watched, nor ever intend to watch).

Apparently this show attracts an audience of around 7-8 million.

The final, shown last Saturday, attracted a grand total of 139 complaints about the plunging cleavage of someone called Holly Willoughby (who?).

Roughly speaking 139 as a percentage of 7.5 million is less than 0.002%, yet Auntie kowtowed to the "pressure" and (after spending time, effort and licence payers' money on meetings and discussions) issued an apology:

"We're sorry if some viewers found Holly's dress to be unsuitable.

Holly enjoys fashion and we felt the dress she wore for the live final of The Voice UK was glamorous and wholly appropriate for the occasion."

May I ask why people who choose to watch shite are in the slightest bit surprised when they end up being "offended" by something within the programme?

 
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Bin Brother - Bin Bag Rationing

My commiserations to the good people of Monmouthshire, who are to be limited to putting out two bin bags of rubbish a fortnight in an attempt to make them recycle more.

For why?

The council's non-recyclables limit is the strictest in Wales; as it aims for recycling rates of 58% by 2015/16. Unsurprisingly, according to the BBC, more than 1,000 people have signed an online petition against the limit.

However, if the council is to be believed (who actually believes what their local council tells them?) they are in something of a bind; for they cannot afford to keep paying millions of pounds in landfill tax, nor fines for missing recycling targets.

Q: Why do the government/EU fine councils for not hitting recycling targets?

A: Because governments need money to function, and fining councils (which then pass on the fines to us) is an easy way to raise revenue.

The council believes up to 70% of what is thrown away is recyclable or food waste.

Belief is one thing, but facts are more often than not another.

That being said frankly speaking (to mount my hobby horse....can I say "mount" at this hour?) wasting food is a disgrace, most especially as there are so many people in the UK who are clearly eating too much anyway compared with the millions who starve elsewhere.

Has no one heard of bubble and squeak??

At some stage the profligacy of food in this country will be brought to a juddering halt. We are an island and cannot grow enough to feed ourselves; ie we rely on imports, which are becoming ruinously expensive as staple food prices (rice, grains etc) rise in response to lower yields and rising demand from a wealthier Asia Pacific.

Anyhoo, disregarding the fact that market forces will correct what Nanny's interference won't wrt food waste, the simple fact is that an average household (wasteful or not) will generally produce more than two bin bags of waste in a fortnight.

Monmouthshire has form for being bin fascists, in April, plans for clear bin bags that would have allowed the council to check on what people throw away were scrapped following opposition.

Whatever happens, one thing can be certain the good people of Monmouthshire will be fined for every "breach" of Nanny's rules.

Ker Farking Ching!

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The Dangers of Wendy Houses

My thanks to a loyal reader who alerted me to a particularly daft piece of Nanny nonsense concerning a trampoline and a Wendy House.

Scarlett Cox, five years old (far too young to have to encounter Nanny nonsense) has been "evicted" from her Wendy House by Tandridge District Council.

Scarlett was given the house for her last birthday. However, local planning officers have decreed that she can no longer use it.

For why?

Her home is in Auckland Road, Caterham, which is communal and owned by Tandridge District Council.

Her mother Nicola received a letter from the council last month saying that the Wendy House and a trampoline must be removed from the garden by July 10 on health and safety grounds.

Ms Cox is quoted by This Is Surrey Today:

"It just seems so pathetic and petty. We bought it as a surprise present for Scarlett's fifth birthday last year.

We fitted it out with carpets and curtains, and painted it in bright colours.

Scarlett was so excited when she first saw it – she almost cried with joy.

She would sit with her friends in her new house after school, and have her dinner in there."

She said her neighbours' kids used to love playing in the garden too.

"We're all being told we should get kids active and out in the fresh air, yet their play equipment is being taken away.

We four neighbours suggested to the council we could draw up a legal document saying we would exclude the council from any responsibility if there were any injuries, but they don't seem to want to know."

A spokeswoman for Tandridge District Council said:

"The trampoline and Wendy House have been placed on land which is owned by the council and should be available to all leaseholders to use.

We have not given permission for the land to be used in this way and we cannot risk anyone being injured on the land.

We would not consider a joint waiver because it would still be our land and our responsibility and open to anyone to use, which means we would be liable for any health and safety issues."

What a prison we have built for ourselves under the "benign rule" of Nanny!

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Ou Est Edward Snowden?

Track the 12 hour flight of the posse of journalists on their way from Moscow to Havana, sans Edward Snowden and sans alcohol!

They seek him here, they seek him there
Those journos seek him everywhere
Is he in heaven or is he in hell?
That damned elusive Snowden

Flight tracker courtesy of Flightradar24.com


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Big Brother - By Any Means Necessary

Channel 4's Dispatches, scheduled for tonight at 20:00, may prove to be rather interesting:

"Dispatches exposes the shocking story of Britain's secret police and how undercover officers reportedly used sex and lies to spy on members of the public. 

The programme reveals the names of high-profile targets spied on by the police.

Through the personal testimony of a whistleblower who operated deep undercover for four years, the film examines the ethically dubious tactics of a clandestine unit within the Metropolitan police. 

Tasked with infiltrating political campaigns and protest groups, it operated under the unofficial motto 'By any means necessary'. 

The programme speaks exclusively to the women who say their lives have been wrecked after being spied upon; and who reveal how they were duped into sexual relationships with men they didn't even know were cops. 

One of the women reveals the heart-wrenching story of how she was also deceived into having a child with a police spy."

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

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Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries