Nanny's Child Spies

Nanny has decided to censor what children say to each other in schools, lest it be deemed by Nanny to be "sexist".

How will Nanny enforce her censorship I hear you ask?

Easy peasey.....

She will recruit volunteer squads of girls to police what kids are saying in school, and then grass them up to teachers!

A nice little lesson in Nazi style spying to teach kids I must say!

The censorship will be applied from five years old onwards, and amongst the list of banned words and phrases are:

- "man up"
- "go make me a sandwich"
- "cissy"
- "don't be a girl"
- "man up cupcake"

Who has come up with all of this bollocks?

Rather bizarrely it is the brainchild of the Institute of Physics, which has issued a report outlining what it wants done.

What the hell has it got to do with them??

Apparently lots, and as such the Institute has also decreed that schools should appoint senior teachers as 'gender champions'.

Haven't teachers got enough crap to deal with?

This will end in tears, and will be used by kids and the girl spies as a means of bullying each other.

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Big Brother - By Any Means Necessary

Channel 4's Dispatches, scheduled for tonight at 20:00, may prove to be rather interesting:

"Dispatches exposes the shocking story of Britain's secret police and how undercover officers reportedly used sex and lies to spy on members of the public. 

The programme reveals the names of high-profile targets spied on by the police.

Through the personal testimony of a whistleblower who operated deep undercover for four years, the film examines the ethically dubious tactics of a clandestine unit within the Metropolitan police. 

Tasked with infiltrating political campaigns and protest groups, it operated under the unofficial motto 'By any means necessary'. 

The programme speaks exclusively to the women who say their lives have been wrecked after being spied upon; and who reveal how they were duped into sexual relationships with men they didn't even know were cops. 

One of the women reveals the heart-wrenching story of how she was also deceived into having a child with a police spy."

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Big Brother - Beware Nanny's Back Passage

As internet companies fall over themselves to claim that Nanny USA doesn't have direct access to their networks, I would advise you to look very carefully at how they phrase their statements; who is to say that there is not a "back passage"?

As per the Wall Street Journal:

"One former government official and cybersecurity legal expert said the companies are likely carefully parsing their words. This person said it is likely that the government is able to get copies of data in real-time or near real-time without accessing the Internet companies' central servers. 

The Internet companies didn't answer questions about these potential side doors into their data."

Meanwhile on this side of the Atlantic, Nanny UK is scrambling to assure us that GCHQ has not been accessing Nanny USA's data trawled from people's electronic communications.

Such is the modern world of technology, it gives us immense freedom to communicate but also has the power to enslave us!

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HMRC's Spy School

Be warned, HMRC are now training schoolchildren to report to the state people whom the children suspect of not paying their "fair share" of tax.

How can a child or adult know what someone else's "fair share" of tax is meant to be?

This will have terrible consequences for democracy and the structure of sociaety, if it is not stopped now.

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Big Brother - A Nation of Suspects

Remember in May 2008 when I wrote this?

"I see that Nanny's much "respected" and "efficient" Home Orifice is considering plans to build a humongous database to store the details of every phone call made, every email sent and every web page visited by British citizens in the previous year."

At the time the Conservatives campaigned against such a move.

Move forward some four years and oddly enough, on the same day that Cameron is appearing before Leveson, the Home Orifice and Theresa May have chosen to announce that Nanny intends to go forward with plans to monitor our electronic and online activities.

Nanny intends to track everything we do electronically, in a way that no other democratic country does.

Nanny uses the convenient "it will catch paedophiles" excuse.

Ms May claims that Nanny's laws would only be used to access "crucial bits of information" and would not invade people's privacy. She denied that there was a lack of control over the laws despite admitting that there were more than 500,000 requests for such information.

Pathetic!

The Telegraph quotes Dominic Raab, a Tory MP:

"Mass indiscriminate surveillance risks turning Britain into a nation of suspects. 

The security case for extra powers has not been made out, and the technical risks of fraud and data loss are huge.”

David Davis sums up the issue succinctly by noting that it would only catch the innocent and incompetent. He went on to say (as per the Guardian):

"This is exactly the same thing that Labour proposed in 2009. They went from a central database to this and we attacked it fiercely. In fact, David Cameron attacked it.

It's not content, but it's incredibly intrusive.

If they really want to do things like this – and we all accept they use data to catch criminals – get a warrant. Get a judge to sign a warrant, not the guy at the next desk, not somebody else in the same organisation."

He has hit the nail on the head, as with all of Nanny's plans for introducing new laws on this that and the other, she always conveniently fails to remember that we already have laws and procedures (eg relating to warrants) that can (if used properly) deal with issues such as "online criminality".

However, even if we manage to stop this, I am afraid far worse is coming.

Ladies and Gentlemen I present project Stellar Wind (due to go live in 2013):

"Its purpose: to intercept, decipher, analyze, and store vast swaths of the world’s communications as they zap down from satellites and zip through the underground and undersea cables of international, foreign, and domestic networks. The heavily fortified $2 billion center should be up and running in September 2013.

Flowing through its servers and routers and stored in near-bottomless databases will be all forms of communication, including the complete contents of private emails, cell phone calls, and Google searches, as well as all sorts of personal data trails—parking receipts, travel itineraries, bookstore purchases, and other digital “pocket litter.”....

Everybody’s a target; everybody with communication is a target.”

Good luck everyone, we are entering an era where will be watched, monitored and manipulated by the state as never before!


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Big Brother - Here Comes The Wind!

In May 2008 I wrote:

"I see that Nanny's much "respected" and "efficient" Home Orifice is considering plans to build a humongous database to store the details of every phone call made, every email sent and every web page visited by British citizens in the previous year.

Oh yes, this will work!

Nanny says that this will help her in her fight against terrorism and crime. Well, she always says that.

From what I recall the invasion of Iraq was meant to make the world a safer place from terrorism too, but that plan was a complete load of old bollocks as well.

The Home Orifice has already approached telecoms firms and internet service providers (ISPs), they would be the ones providing Nanny with their customer records if the plans go ahead."

At the time we were ruled by Labour Nanny, and both the Tories and Liberals opposed the plans for email and call monitoring.

Well here we are in 2012, under a Tory/Liberal coalition government and guess what?

Yes, they now want to do the very same thing!

Terrorism is used as Nanny's catch all excuse to cover all of her rapidly expanding surveillance requirements. In truth, our lives are not being blighted on a daily basis by terrorism but by "low level" crime (yobbery, thuggery, robbery, scummy behaviour etc). These are the issues that need to be addressed.

In this volte face, we see politicians revealing their true nature; dishonest, power hungry snoopers.

There are some Tories, such as David Davis, who oppose this nonsense:

 “What this does is make (existing problems) 60 million times worse. The simple truth is that this is not necessary. What’s proposed here is completely unfettered access to every single communication you make.

It’s a very, very big widening of powers which will be very much resented by many citizens who do not like the idea. It’s going to cause enormous resentment."

However, even if we manage to stop this, I am afraid far worse is coming.

Ladies and Gentlemen I present project Stellar Wind (due to go live in 2013):

"Its purpose: to intercept, decipher, analyze, and store vast swaths of the world’s communications as they zap down from satellites and zip through the underground and undersea cables of international, foreign, and domestic networks. The heavily fortified $2 billion center should be up and running in September 2013.

Flowing through its servers and routers and stored in near-bottomless databases will be all forms of communication, including the complete contents of private emails, cell phone calls, and Google searches, as well as all sorts of personal data trails—parking receipts, travel itineraries, bookstore purchases, and other digital “pocket litter.”....

Everybody’s a target; everybody with communication is a target.”

Good luck everyone, we are entering an era where will be watched, monitored and manipulated by the state as never before!

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Nanny Bans Jolly Roger

Poor old Roger, what harm has he ever done anyone apart from being "Jolly"?

Sadly Nanny doesn't see it that way, and has decided to ban him.

Anthony Steele (7 years old) has been targeted by Nanny's chums from East Lindsey Council.

For why?

He was flying a toy Jolly Roger flag (on a fishing pole) in his parent's garden.

What's wrong with that?

Well me hearties, Nanny believes that the skull and crossbones breaches advertising laws (what?), and have banned him from flying it!

Excuse me, how the hell does the skull and crossbones breach advertising laws?

It's not as though he is a real pirate advertising his pirating skills is he?

Anyhoo, notwithstanding that bleedin' obvious point, Nanny has told Anthony's parents that they face legal action unless they take it down.

How did the council find out about the flag?

They have spies everywhere.

Some sad git reported it!

Why?

On the subject of pirate flags, now that we are approaching the anniversary of the Falklands war, I wonder if East Lindsey Council would have dared to tell the guys on HMS Conqueror that their flying of the skull and crossbones constituted a breach in advertising laws?

No, I thought not!

Councils are the enemies of the people!

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Nanny's New Database

Joy Oh Joy!

Nanny, possibly relieved at the avalanche of data being spewed forth about the Murdoch empire's "moral lapses", recently and rather quietly launched "The Police National Database".

Another day, another database!

This particular database will hold the records up to 6 million apparently innocent people, including every victim of sexual assault and domestic violence.

All 43 police forces in England and Wales and other law enforcement agencies will be able to access the database...along with members of News International and their hired stooges (topical "joke" their folks!).

Jennie Cronin, a director at the National Police Improvement Agency (NPIA), the body in charge of the database, estimated that the records of between 10 and 15 million people would be held (that's between 16% to 24% of the entire population).

Given that approximately 9.2 million people in the UK have criminal records, that leaves up to almost 6 million on the database who are we assume innocent.

Approximately 12,000 approved police officers and staff will be able to access the database.

Would these be of the same quality and high ethical standards as those who allegedly sold information and contact details of all and sundry (including the Queen) to News International?

David Davis, the former Conservative shadow home secretary, said in a matter of fact manner and without any apparent irony:

"Historically police databases have sometimes been made available to people outside of law enforcement agencies. This cannot be afforded for the PND to work properly."

Errmmm...quite!

Given that databases are notoriously leaky, and given the ongoing furore over police receiving payments for selling details of ordinary citizens to News International; does anyone trust the database and indeed the police not to leak information?

Seriously, does anyone trust the police any more?

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The End of The World

Subscribe to "The End of The World" to receive a daily update on the ongoing scandal involving the News of The World, News International and the Murdochs.

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The News of The World - A Sick Society

The ongoing News of The World scandal (each day brings fresh headlines of outrageous intrusions and spying) has caused an explosion of indignation and outrage from those spied on (quite rightly so) and the "establishment".

Unsurprisingly, there are calls for news laws to champion privacy and to stop the media from getting up to this sort of nonsense ever again.

However, before an angry mob lights their torches and marches towards the News of The World's HQ with the intention of administering "justice", let us step back and consider what has happened here and what might happen if new laws are hastily rushed through.

Innocent families have had their lives turned upside down by unscrupulous tabloid journalists and paid lackeys in the world of private detection.

However, the purpose of these actions was to harvest data and information used in news stories.

Who buys these papers to read these stories?

Errmm..that would be the British public.

The monster of intrusive and sick journalism has been of our own creation.

Moving on to the methods used by these media organs, aside from using private detectives who else helped them?

Errrmm..that would be the police, who have been receiving kickbacks for tips offs and passing on details etc.

Ever wondered how it was that the media got hold of the details of Chris Jefferies (the innocent man arrested by police, because he had "funny" hair, in the Joanna Yeates murder case)?

Is it not "odd" that the police have had (apparently for several years now) details of these hacking attempts, yet only now are they conducting a "proactive" investigation?

There is something seriously wrong with our police, and it needs to be sorted out now.

Moving on to the politicians who are screaming for blood and strict privacy laws.

Errmm..who is it who would have most to gain if their corrupt business practices and hypocritical sex lives were kept hidden?

What the News of The World (and other media organisations) have done (and continue to do) is without doubt repellent. These people should crawl under a stone and shrivel up and die.

However, do not forget they have done this because there is a demand to read trash, and because the police and others have happily been helping them and allowing them to get away with it.

Sadly the media are but a reflection and creation of our own personal hypocrisies.

That being said, be careful of siren calls for strict and hastily drafted new privacy laws; our "respected" and corrupt politicians have much to gain by this and we, as a democracy, have everything to lose.

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Big Brother - Shopping Spies?

Now here is an initiative from Nanny that has in theory, I think, a decent motive. However, I am not fully decided as to whether this is intrusive or merely an amateurish attempt to be helpful.

The Department of Health is training supermarket staff (Sainsbury's initially) to "observe" (some say "spy on") customer shopping baskets.

The rationale being that a well trained "observer" will be able to identify if someone is shopping for another person who may be ill or elderly etc.

Nanny wants to find the "hidden carers" in society, in order to offer these people more help.

Apparently the cashiers who have been trained will, once they have identified a "hidden carer", ask customers about their personal circumstances while serving them and then put them in touch with charities that can provide information on financial/practical help etc.

Now I do recognise that many people who care for someone else need help. I can also see that this scheme appears to be very well intentioned.

However, there is something nagging at the back of my mind that makes me feel uncomfortable about training up "civilians" to "observe" ("spy on") other civilians.

I would also like to know in which supermarket Nanny does her shopping, where she thinks a cashier has the time to chat with a customer (as a queue patiently waits and grows behind the "hidden carer"). I have never come across a supermarket where the staff, or customers, have the time to chat beyond a few pleasantries about the weather.

What are your views about this scheme?

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A Nation of Spies

Nanny has managed to turn us into a nation of snoopers and spies, if the story about Pauline Palmer is anything to go by.

Mrs Palmer, a Neighbourhood Watch co-ordinator, for reasons best known to her decided to keep a close watch on her neighbour Brian Collins for the last 3 years.

By the phrase "close watch", I really mean "close watch". Mrs Palmer kept a diary of Mr Collins's activities details included:

- his garden hot tub sessions with women
- when he had sex in his bedroom
- Mr Collins telling two lady friends to "get your tits out"
- details of women who stayed overnight
- the fact that male visitors wore baseball caps
- registration numbers of visitors' vehicles
- listening to conversations and noting them down etc.

The result of her actions?

She managed to persuade Colchester Council, her local council, to serve a noise abatement order on Mr Collins, even though his other neighbour said she had never heard any noise.

Mr Collins was fined £100 for breaching the noise abatement order, and faces a further bill of £365 in legal costs after failing in an appeal.

Most of us would conclude that Mrs Palmer was "taking things a bit far". Essex Police, on the other hand, think that she is great and awarded her "Neighbourhood Watch Co-ordinator of the Year" in January.

Welcome to Nanny Britain, where neighbours are encouraged by the police and state to spy on each other.

Ghastly!

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Don't Be Evil

Naughty Google, the company whose motto is "Don't be evil", seems to have committed something of a security "faux pas".

You may recall back in 2008 that it started sending vehicles around the world, collecting data for its worldwide street view product?

Well, some of the data it collected included household computer passwords and emails.

Oops!

All a terrible mistake of course, the VP of Engineering and Research (Alan Eustace) is mortified and promises that the data will be deleted asap.

This provides a pertinent reminder to all of us that our electronic communications are subject, and open, to monitoring.

I would also like to remind you all that your mobile phone, when switched on, provides those who are interested with a physical fix on your location and can also be used to eavesdrop on your conversations.

By the way, did you also know that mobile phones that are switched off can be turned on remotely by third parties (if they have the right equipment)? The only way to prevent this happening is for the battery to be removed.

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Big Brother - Internet Eyes

Almost a year ago, last October, I wrote about "Internet Eyes":

"Internet Eyes (a private company) will offer up to £1,000 if viewers spot shoplifting or other crimes in progress, on the dubious pretext of combining crime prevention with the incentive of winning money.

The scheme is due to go live in Stratford-upon-Avon in November, and will stream live footage to subscribers' home computers from CCTV cameras installed in shops and other businesses.

If viewers see a crime in progress, they can press a button to alert store detectives and collect points worth up to £1,000."

A loyal reader has kindly advised me that Internet Eyes has been set up (according to "Get Wokingham") to monitor the store feed from Alworths, a shop in Wokingham.

Seemingly an investigation into the town's existing CCTV network had shown the camera feed was going back to a monitoring station in Reading, but no-one was watching it permanently.

CCTV, in theory, sounds great as a "crime prevention" tool.

However, it does not prevent crime, it merely observes the crime taking place. Unless someone in the monitoring station is alert enough, and the police quick enough, the criminals have already done their dirty deed and scarpered before the tapes are reviewed.

Allowing members of the public to access/use the feed as a form of "game show" is positively dangerous wrt privacy issues, and will bring out the very worst aspects of human nature (wrt snooping and nosiness).

This is a snoopers charter, there are more than enough saddos who have nothing better to do than watch other people doing "very little" (eg the "reality" show Big Brother).

We will become a nation of snoopers!

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The Dangers of Paying With Cash

Do you pay for things (eg your newspaper) with cash?

Do you draw your curtains in the evening?

Do you consider yourself to be a "quiet person", who doesn't necessarily talk to many people everyday?

You do?

In that case you might be a terrorist!

As such, given that we live in the Nanny state, your neighbours are duty bound to report you to the authorities.

That at least was the message being pumped out, until recently, by an advertising campaign put together by the Association of Chief Police Officers (Acpo) on Talksport radio.

However, having received a handful (18 I think) of complaints, the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) ruled that it could cause "serious offence" and banned it.

In the advert, a man says:

"The man at the end of the street doesn't talk to his neighbours much, because he likes to keep himself to himself.

He pays with cash because he doesn't have a bank card, and he keeps his curtains closed because his house is on a bus route.

If you suspect it, report it."

Why not do what they do in all other petty dictatorships, get the kids to snitch on the parents?

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The Grim RIPA

My compliments to Jenny Paton who took Poole Borough Council (a Conservative council!) to a tribunal, after it admitted using the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act (Ripa) to spy on her family 21 times (see an article on thsis ite from 2008).

For why was Poole council spying on Miss Poole?

Did they suspect her of being a terrorist?

No!

Did they suspect her dog of fouling the pavement?

No!

They wanted to check to see if she and her family lived in the right school catchment area.

She does live in the right area by the way!

Anyhoo, Poole lost the case and the Investigatory Powers Tribunal ruled that it was not a proper purpose and not necessary to use surveillance powers.

The tribunal also found that the surveillance breached the family's right to privacy, under Article 8 of the Human Rights Act.

Miss Paton and her family were tailed round the clock, spied on at home and their movements were recorded in detailed surveillance forms. Their car was also described as a "target vehicle".

As ever with councils and jumped up jobsworths, if you give them a smattering of power they misuse use it and abuse it.

Councils, whatever political party they claim to represent, are not to be trusted and are the enemy of the people.

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Prats of The Week - Gloucestershire County Council

Tis time once again loyal readers to award my prestigious, and internationally renowned, "Prats of The Week" Award.

This week it goes to Gloucestershire county council, who have been conducting a very bizarre surveillance exercise on children's school lunch boxes.

For reasons that only would make sense to Nanny and her minions, staff from Gloucestershire county council have been secretly opening the contents of a sample of children's lunchboxes, photographing the contents, awarding marks according to nutritional value then offering parents advice on how to prepare "better" packed lunches.

Ermmm...to my simple mind this just sounds completely loony!

Anyhoo, the scheme was started six months ago and was the diseased brainchild of officials from Gloucestershire county council, NHS Gloucestershire and the local schools.

Quite barking mad to my view.

When I was a young lad my packed lunches tended to be spam or banana sandwiches, a chocolate cup cake, a packet of crisps and a thermos of soup or homemade lemonade.

Nothing untoward ever happened to me from eating this mixture, aside from the unfortunate incident when I dropped the thermos (shattering the inside) and drank the contents (pondering why my lemonade had silver bits floating in it). The doctor advised my worried mum that as I had not consumed any glass, the silver bits would come out in due course.

Health and safety warning: do not do this at home children and drink the shattered contents of a thermos.

Anyhoo, Jackie Hall, the council's cabinet member for schools, has now been made aware of this snooping (she claims that this was "news" to her) and has banned it.

Gloucestershire county council, well deserving Prats of The Week!

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Bin Brother - Mobiles 'R Us

I see that employees of Biffa (wasn't he a regular on the front of the Beano, or was it Biffo?) will be given £1.75M worth of Vodafone BlackBerrys.

Biffa, aside from being a stalwart of the Beano, is also a waste disposal company (ie it employs many of the country's binmen).

The phones will be used to snoop on both householders (eg photographing "environmental crimes", such as an overfull bin) and the binmen themselves (mobiles have tracking devices etc).

At least this time everyone (binmen and householders) are being treated equally.

That at least is progress!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Bin Brother - A Nation of Informers

I see that Hull City Council is adopting tactics used by rather odious regimes (past and present), to keep their citizens under control, by encouraging residents to report neighbours for 'environmental crimes'.

What is an environmental crime?

Putting bins out too early or late!

The Gestapo from Hull wants householders to fill in 'diary sheets' to log bin incidents.

Bin criminals could face a £100 fixed penalty notice or be fined up to £1,000 in court for leaving rubbish next to a bin or blocking a path with a bin.

And so it begins!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Power Corrupts - HMRC

HMRC are to be given powers to secretly open people's private mail.

Read more here HMRC Is Shite.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries