Scottish Nanny's Money Making Scam

Scottish Nanny is becoming increasingly worried about her future finances, what with the possibility of independence etc.

As such, she has been looking around for ways and means to boost her revenues; having had a go at booze, by setting minimum prices, she is now looking at that other wonderful cash cow smoking.

She has come up with a cunning plan to fine people for smoking outside of hospitals. Not just a wee fine, but a bloody stonking huge fine.

Doctors have backed plans to enforce no-smoking zones around hospitals with fines of up to £1,000 for breaking the rules.

The Royal College of Physicians of Edinburgh (RCPE) said they were supporting the Scottish government’s fines for smoking near hospitals.

Under the proposed system those caught smoking within 15 metres of a hospital building face financial penalties of up to £1,000, while staff who failed to enforce the ban could have to pay more than twice as much.

Easy money!

 

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Nanny's Sausage Roll Fine

As loyal readers know, Nanny never misses an opportunity to screw us for money, as Sally-Ann Fricker has found to her cost when Nanny fined her £150.

Ms Fricker's crime?

She fed a bit of sausage roll to a pigeon!

Ms Fricker said she was out shopping in Bath with her daughter and her two young boys when a pigeon landed in front of them. 

She broke off a corner of the snack and threw it to the bird which immediately flew off with the morsel. 

Ms Fricker's daughter, Toni Bradley, said her mother was approached "seconds later" by the enforcement officer after throwing the food. 

He told her she would be fined £150, but this would be reduced to £100 if she paid it within 14 days.

Now, following the publicity, Nanny is now reviewing the fine!

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Big Brother Is Watching You Smoke

BirminghamLive reports that new "yellow vulture" speed cameras are being rolled out in the UK.

They are thought to be more discreet than the speed-tracking technology currently used on our roads.

Motorists pictured eating or smoking behind the wheel, or using their mobile phone, will be slapped with a £200 fine and 6 penalty points.

All very well and intrusive maybe, except for one wee point..it's not illegal to smoke or eat when driving!

As per the RAC:

1. Is it illegal to eat and drive?

No. It’s not illegal to eat and drive at the same time. However, if you present a significant danger while snacking on the move, the police could prosecute you for careless driving if they consider you not in proper control of the vehicle.

2. Is it illegal to drink when driving?

Similar to eating, drinking at the wheel is not illegal, but it can carry the same careless driving penalty.

3. Is smoking while driving illegal?

Smoking at the wheel is not an offence in itself, but if it leads to careless driving it could land you in trouble with the law.

Put that in your pipe Nanny and smoke it!

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Nanny Doubles Down - Death and a Fine!

This seems a bit harsh. pic.twitter.com/ANFAFHltKf

— James Melville (@JamesMelville) August 22, 2018

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Holy Shit Nanny Ireland

Jesus fucking CHRIST!! BBC News - Ireland to hold referendum on blasphemy law https://t.co/nm8kRB2LsS

— Old Holborn✘ (@Holbornlolz) June 13, 2018

Nanny Ireland proves that the state can fine you even for things that don't exist!

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Nanny Fines Blind Person For Recycling Error

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Advice To Cash Strapped Councils

Viz Top Tips.
Cash strapped councils - send out preemptive parking fines to all your residents. Any mistakes can be appealed in court!

— HMRC Victim (@HMRCVictim) August 2, 2017

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Nanny Bans Free Air

Rather bizarrely, Nanny's chums in Tower Hamlets have banned the good people of Isambard's Cycles from offering customers free air via a pump.

@TowerHamletsNow are fining us for having this free pump outside for cyclists to use. As of next week it will no longer be available #RT pic.twitter.com/SdLB1CN9JN

— ISAMBARD'S CYCLES (@isambardscycles) July 30, 2017

For why?

It seems that the pump is an "obstruction".

However, if the bicycle shop paid Nanny for providing free air the pump would then no longer be an obstruction!

Obstruction of the highway (which oddly ceases to become an obstruction, providing we pay @TowerHamletsNow for the privilege)

— ISAMBARD'S CYCLES (@isambardscycles) July 30, 2017

Councils are the enemies of the people!

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Nanny Fines Five Year Old - #LemonadeGate

Nanny and her councils can be nasty pieces of work, as Andre Spicer's five year old daughter found to her cost.

My thanks to a loyal reader who pointed me to a summary of what occurred.

The girl was fined £150 by Nanny's gestapo from Tower Hamlets for trying to sell lemonade in the street.

Andre Spicer said his daughter burst into tears and told him “I’ve done a bad thing” after enforcement officers read out a lengthy legal letter before issuing him the notice.

Mr Spicer said four officers stormed up to the table just 30 minutes after the pair had set up the stand, where they were selling one large cup of the fizzy drink for £1 and a small glass for 50p.

The five-year-old and Mr Spicer, a professor at City University, were given the fine for "trading without a permit" after they set up the make-shift stall near their home in Mile End.

After it was contacted by the Standard, Tower Hamlets Council promised to cancel the fine "immediately" and said it would contact the family to apologise.

No surprises there then, when Nanny is confronted she backs down!

A spokeswoman for the council said:

“We are very sorry that this has happened. We expect our enforcement officers to show common sense, and to use their powers sensibly. This clearly did not happen.   

The fine will be cancelled immediately and we will be contacting Professor Spicer and his daughter to apologise.”

As I have repeatedly said, councils are the enemies of the people!

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Nanny's Nice Little Earner - The Litter Police

The BBC's Panorama has exposed one of Nanny's nice little earners, namely finin g people fro dropping litter.

A private company acting as the "litter police" for dozens of councils pays officers a bonus for issuing fines.

One officer from Kingdom Services, a leading enforcement company, claimed that his bonus one month was £987.

Other officers were filmed handing out £75 fines for tiny pieces of dropped orange peel and poured-away coffee.

Kingdom told Panorama that its competency allowance was not a paid incentive for officers to issue fines.

Councils are increasingly using private companies such as Kingdom, based in Cheshire, to enforce the Environmental Protection Act.

Kingdom currently has about 28 contracts with local authorities and last year saw its profits jump 30% to £9m.

Guess what?

The company frequently splits the proceeds of the fines with the councils!

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Happy Speeding Fine Day!

Happy speeding fine day folks!

The BBC reports that today speeding fines have gone up.

Under new guidelines, fines for drivers caught doing 51mph in a 30mph zone or 101mph on a motorway will start from 150% of weekly income, rather than the previous level of 100%.
The Sentencing Council said it wanted a "clear increase in penalty" as the seriousness of offending increases.

The new Band C fines will allow the worst offenders to face fines of between 125 and 175% of their weekly income - with the starting point for magistrates in most cases set at 150%.

The maximum fine, however, remains the same, meaning a speeding driver cannot be fined more than £1,000 unless the offence takes place on a motorway, where the limit is £2,500.

A nice little earner for Nanny!

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Stick and Flick Shit

Dog owners should adopt a "stick and flick" method instead of using shit bags, according to advice from the Forestry Commission.

Discarded plastic dog waste bags are an eyesore, the organisation says, and the best approach should a pet foul on a footpath is to find a stick and flick it into the undergrowth.

The guidance was highlighted by Conservative MP Anne Main.

Now this is all very well and good, so long as Nanny can now advise as to what constitutes the "countryside", lest Nanny's greedy councils start fining dog walkers for not bagging it!

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Nanny's Nice Little Earner - Bus Lane CCTV

As loyal readers know, Nanny is strapped for cash. As such she is always looking for ways to tap her minions for more money.

One such mechanism is that of bus lane cameras being used to fine motorists.

The Telegraph reports that Nanny's bus lane cameras in England took 31m from motorists in 2015-16, fining almost 4,000 motorists per day.

The most lucrative camera in the country makes £6,000 every day.

The worst 10 cameras for catching drivers are centred in Newcastle-upon-Tyne, Manchester and London.
England's most lucrative bus lane is on the northbound section of John Dobson Street. It is based in Newcastle-upon-Tyne, a council that made over £1m from bus lane fines in 2015/16.

A nice little earner!

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Those Whom The Gods Wish To Destroy...

Jobless father of three fined with €5,000 for selling donuts without license https://t.co/ELhczxwqco

— Keep Talking Greece (@keeptalkingGR) October 7, 2016

A very sad example of a state where Nanny (in this case Greek Nanny at the behest of the Quadriga) loses her mind completely in her lust for tithes!

The situation in Greece cannot continue like this, something will inevitably break.

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More Tithes For Our EU Overlords

I am ungemused to read that our EU overlords are telling Nanny's local councils to look for ways to increase taxes (allegedly to help cut pollution).

Motorists could be charged for driving through British towns and cities, and households could face a "bin tax" under EU plans to meet emissions targets.
 

The Telegraph reports that the European Commission has issued a new set of guidelines for councils on how to which sets how to meet targets to reduce emissions by 20 per cent by 2020.
 

It said that councils should send a "clear economic signal to polluters" to reduce vehicle emissions and encourage recycling.

Unless I am very much mistaken, council tax includes the costs of refuse collection (and councils happily fine people who besmirch the recycling and dumping rules). Additionally, councils charge for parking and fine motorists hither and thither for all manner of rule infringements.

How many more taxes are we to endure before we tell Nanny and our EU overlords to fuck off?
 

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Ker Farking Ching - Speed Awareness Courses Fund The Police

Following on from yesterday's article about Bedfordshire's Police and Crime Commissioner (Olly Martins) wanting all drivers who travel at more than 70 miles per hour to be fined in order to raise money for the police, the Telegraph reports that police have more than doubled the amount they collect from running speed awareness courses since 2010, despite a warning from ministers to stop raising revenue from speeding offences.

While the money collected from speeding fines goes to the Treasury, police forces are able to keep what they charge for running speed awareness courses, around £100 a time.

The vast majority of motorists prefer this option over a fine, because they avoid having points added to their licence and thereby keep their insurance premiums down.

In recent years, there has been a huge increase in the number of people attending such courses, as forces across the country recognise the financial benefits. In 2010 the number of people attending National Speed Awareness courses was 447,724, but by last year that figure had more than doubled to 1.19 million.

Ker Farking Ching!

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Ker Farking Ching - Speeding Fines Used To Raise Revenue

As loyal readers know, Nanny and her chums love to use fines as means of raising revenues.

Hence it should come as no surprise at all to learn that Nanny's chum, in the form of Bedfordshire's Police and Crime Commissioner (Olly Martins), wants all drivers who travel at more than 70 miles per hour to be fined.

Olly proposes turning on speed cameras permanently across stretches of the M1 motorway network, catching everyone who exceeded the limit.

Motorists would then be forced to pay a £100 fine as well as having points added to their licence, or could opt instead to attend a speed awareness course, costing £90.

Is this concern about speeding driven (pardon the pun) by a desire to improve road safety?

Is it fark! 

It is in fact being used as a means of raising millions of pounds in revenue for the police.

Olly is quoted by the Telegraph: 

“If motorists do not like it then they can always stick to the speed limit.”

The catch all phrase of those who are blind to reality, and who use the law to drive their own personal agendas.

Olly claims that he had been forced into suggesting the scheme, because his force was at financial breaking point and fining speeding drivers could help Bedfordshire retain 25 officers it would otherwise be forced to lose.

It will raise £1M!

When the police, council or government use fines as a means of raising revenue to pay for themselves the concept of impartial law enforcement, innocent until proven guilty and commonsense fairness is thrown out of the window.

The police will now be incentivised to use other means of raising revenue, and for new laws to to be passed that people can break and be fined for!

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The £8K Orange Peel

Kudos to Broxbourne Borough Council for making utter knobheads of themselves (and costing taxpayers £8K), over a farcical dispute regarding a dropped orange peel.

Luke Gutteridge accidentally dropped an orange peel (which is biodegradable), then binned it immediately and apologised to the Broxbourne Borough Council-contracted officer.

Can you guess what happened next children?

Yes, that's right, Mr Gutteridge was fined £75.

Instead of bending over and taking it, Mr Gutteridge went to court.

Suffice to say the case was dismissed, and the council claimed that lessons would be learnt.

Pah!

Tim Hutchins, Broxbourne council member for environmental protection, is quoted by the BBC:

"Clearly we thought we had sufficient evidence to bring this case. The costs were not awarded against us and I think that's a fair indication the court believed the case had been properly brought."

Bollocks, they lost and the costs of Mr Guterridge's defence will be met by the taxpayer.

As the Budget is delivered today (see live tweets here), many councils will bleat and snivel about the cuts they will have to bear. However, do not forget that councils are very wasteful of our money and cannot be trusted to run a piss up brewery!

Councils are very good at spending other people's money!

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Lancashire County Council's Nice Little Earner

My thanks to a loyal reader who pointed me to the absurd nonsense perpetrated by Lancashire County Council, wrt newly painted double yellow lines.

James Callan and his partner Lauren live in a 1995 built house with a driveway, that does not have a dropped pavement outside.

For reasons that are unfathomable, council workers decided to paint some double yellow lines outside their driveway recently.

Problem?

Yes!

Apparently everytime the couple park their car in their own driveway they now face a fine of £1,000.

They have been told they are breaking the law by using the driveway as it is inside the yellow lines, and by attempting to drive on or off their own land they will be making an illegal "vehicle crossing".

 

Ker Farking Ching!

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Fines For Tardiness

I see that Nanny has come up with a wizard wheeze for raising money, namely fining parents of kids who are persistently late for school up to £60.

Ker Farking Ching!

Easy money!

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