Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Best Before Dates - Pah!

Best Before Dates - Pah!Last night I ate a fine plate of roast beef and Yorkshire pudding, accompanied by some excellent grated horseradish.

The horseradish came from a jar marked "best before January 1993".

I am suffering no ill effects.

Is this a record?

10 comments:

  1. The best is honey, a best before date is required completely ignoring the minor detail that honey, if properly stored, will remain in a good condition for thousands of years.

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  2. Sadly I will be unable to compete on age dates since my wife has been complete indoctrinated by the concpet of the dates and the larder is regularly cleared of anything past the date on the container.

    However I do recall an incident at school when a pupil was having some difficulty squeezing some cheap ketchup from one of those plastic tomato shaped containers that were at the time beloved of caterers. Removing the screw top we observed the reason for the problem - a few hundred maggots - at which point the offending container was removed by the kitchen staff and the incident hushed up. My guess is that the bottle had been refilled within the previous day or so - but that would be just a guess.

    What would realy like to see is not some sort of marketing information like the current system (too short for many products, too long for pre-packed salads) but something more robust and provable.

    A 'Will kill after: ' date would be good. The efficacy of the date could then be tested either by the consumer, at their own risk, or in a lab by ascertaining the level of danger that has been reached during the aging process.

    Anyone badly underestimating the date to suit their marketing targets could then be chastised.

    I have a tiny jar of Devil's Breath mustard - a present from last Christmas - with a best before date of last March. This stuff is so wonderfully powerful that a really small jar has been enough to last all year. I very much doubt that anything noxious could survive within meters of the contents. The 'Best Before: ' date was added, I assume, simply becauuse regulations say it must be there. I dobt that that is an isolated example.

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  3. Artela1:32 PM

    You could try this page for other examples:
    http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/cat_steve_dont_eat_it.php

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  4. Good for you.
    I make a point of ignoring sell by dates and see it as a challenge to my metabolism.
    Everybody knows (except the missus) sell by dates are there to protect the producer and not the punter.

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  5. Well, you haven't updated today so the only conclusion is that you have been poisoned. RIP Ken, proof that Nanny really does know best ;)

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  6. Fear not Mark, I am still alive and well:)

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  7. You may be well now Ken but such matters are not well understood and there could be a sudden and rapid change in your health at some future point.

    I have created a small computer simulation of the possible negative health effects of long aged Horseradish and the resilts clearly show the risks for a man of your age group.

    Taking all variables into account, including the confounding factor that you linve in Croydon, my prediction is that you are very likely to have succumbed to a life threatening condition with the next 50 years and that MAY have been connected to things that you have consumed whilst alive. (P=.001 to 1.001)

    There is compelling evidence to suggest that, in the light of this research, you should forget about Global Warming as it will not affect you at all but should immediately contact your GP and the Food Standards Agency to discuss the implications of your ill advised action and identify and select the most positive way forward by selecting the best option for obtaining compensation for being misled and making the error in the first place.

    (Note: Please let me know if this activity is successful. If it is I would like to make reference to the success in my application for a job with Nanny's team, probably in the 'New ways to hand out other people's money' Agency.)

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  8. My late grandmother was an acknowledged expert in keeping things way beyond their best before date. Trawls through her pantry would regularly turn up goods that had been canned, bottled or preserved when much of the map was pink and Mr Heinz was still adulterating his baked beans with chunks of meaty goodness. Most were still edible and we suffered few ill effects barring a slight desire to go and give Johnny Foreigner a sound thrashing with cold British steel.

    However, if anyone can tell me what to do with fourteen tins of Ackees and a Christmas pud of Crimean war vintage I would be most grateful.

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  9. Grant2:11 PM

    FFF - you could start planning now for a small celebration of the winter holiday next december and invite a food Nazi and a Minister of Health (if not one and the same) to join you. Announce the age of the comestibles served a few days after the celebration when you are certain they have survived and all materials that might otherwise be tested to ascertain the veracity of your claims have been disposed of.

    Should produce a nice Urban Legend opportunity.


    Grant

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  10. SammysDad5:22 PM

    For traditional Christmas (Sherry of course!)trifle lovers the missus has just informed me that 100's and '000s take some beating with a use by date of '89 and still going on beautifully for each year's festivity.

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