Nanny has started the New Year as she means to go on, by getting a little bit above herself.
NHS patients in the Ashfield and Mansfield districts of Nottinghamshire are to be banned from smoking in their own homes, if they are due a visit from a careworker.
Nanny has ruled that when a patient refuses to obey her instructions, the visit will have to take place on neutral premises.
Under Nanny's new rules, healthcare workers can ask a patient to stop smoking when they enter their home. Failure to comply will mean that the patient will have to go to an alternative venue for treatment.
Barbara Brady, Nanny's senior public health manager who produced the policy, said:
"If a patient or a family member is smoking during a home visit, NHS staff may be subjected to environmental tobacco smoke through passive smoking or secondhand smoking.
Tobacco smoke contains over 4,000 chemicals
in the form of particles and gases and some of the immediate effects of passive smoking include eye irritation, headache, cough, sore throat, dizziness and nausea."
Nanny also plans to ban healthworkers from smoking in their cars, if they use the vehicle during their work.
How the hell will Nanny enforce that one then?
In Scotland Nanny will send smokers a letter asking them not to light up for one hour before a council worker or health worker calls round.
In Scotland, Nanny will produce a map identifying where smokers live.
Doesn't this all sound rather Orwellian?
The instructions that Nanny has produced, covering the creation of this list, are a work of art in themselves:
"Does your organisation know which of the homes visited by its staff are occupied by smokers?
If not, it would be advisable to develop such a list.
Once the situation relating to individual properties is ascertained, steps can be taken to reduce the exposure the staff might face."
The smokers on Nanny's map would then be sent letters asking them not to smoke for one hour before a council worker or health worker called round.
Public bodies have also been advised to use the map to ensure that any workers who suffer from breathing problems are kept away from the homes of smokers.
This is going to cost a hell of a lot of money.
What about Nanny compiling other lists and maps?
-Those who eat too much fat?
-Those who drink?
The possibilities are endless!