Breaking news...In a breathtaking display of double standards, Nanny's police will not be investigating Prescott's sexual misconduct in a public office (despite the fact that two police officers were prosecuted earlier this year for having sex whilst on duty).In other news, it seems that the Tories (if last night's Newsnight is anything to go by) are having a tough time thinking up questions for Mr Prescott when he appears before the Commons next week.
Their problem is that the questions have to be based on what he does.
Frankly no one has a clue as to what he does.
Please can you help the Tories come up with some sensible, probing questions?
They have to be related to what Prescott does, Newsnight managed to identify a few things:
-He will chair a few committees, but we have not been told which ones
-He is part of the UK Kyoto team
-He has responsibility for developing relations with China
The mind boggles!
The best submission might win the Prescott Memorial Thong, the decision will depend on my mood at the time and the weather etc. Please state your size.
"Their problem is that the questions have to be based on what he does"...
ReplyDeleteDoes "Two Shags" not creep off whilst supposedly at work and have extra marital relationships??
Does he not feel "punchy" sometimes??
"would the right (dis) houhourable gentleman inform the house how many secretaries he has knocked up in the last week?"
ReplyDeleteSurely, in this case, the most appropriate question would be "WTF are you doing that you should be paid for from the 'public purse'?"
ReplyDeleteShame the dome's been sold off really. Minister for vacuous nonentity would have suited JP down to the ground!
ReplyDelete"Would the right honourable gentleman inform the house how stiff his resolve is before the next election?"
ReplyDeleteWill the Humberside Humper be interfacing with Rosie Winterton on the health services committee?
ReplyDelete(Thong: cocktail sausage size.)
Pity his bit on the side wasn't Welsh, then the idiotic Chief Plod of North Wales could have felt his collar while he was around at number 10 questioning Tone about being nasty to the leek-munchers.
ReplyDelete(PS: Congratulations on throwing the sleazy NuLab mob out of Croydon)
John Maples, MP, suggested in Parliament on Wednesday that it was a good idea to pay Prescott to do nothing. On the grounds, presumably, that he cost the country much, much more than his £250,000 p.a. pay + perks package (e.g. concreting over the whole of Hertfordshire).
ReplyDeleteIn turn I would suggest that we pay the entire government to do nothing. Make them "setaside".
In the 1960s a possibly apocryphal study of the London tube system concluded that it would be cheaper to sack all the ticket-collectors and inspectors and do away with all the other ticket-issuing paraphernalia, in favour of letting passengers use the Tube for nothing.
Whenever traffic lights break down the traffic moves more smoothly and safely.
Whenever councils (or government in any of its 1001 guises) do ANYTHING, anything at all, they always make the situation WORSE.
So my question to the Right Honourable JP and his member would be this:
"Mr Speaker, as the Deputy Prime Minister now does Nothing, while the Prime Minister himself is supposed to do Something, will the Deputy Prime Minister taken it upon himself to, in his words, rectumfy this anomaly, and persuade the rest of the Cabinet, of which he is not a part although he attends its regular Thursday meeting (while pretending not to be there, like the elephant in the kitchen, as 'twere), to follow his example and become ministers without portfolio? By which I mean ministers who do Nothing rather than Something, because the Something they do is always wrong, for they are a bunch of incompetent loons."
FO said:
ReplyDelete"In turn I would suggest that we pay the entire government to do nothing. Make them "setaside"."
Now that plan has enormous merit and would certainly get my vote.
It fits in quite well with the age old military and civil service concept of promoting incompetents into admin roles so they do less harm. (Providing they are never accidentally released back into the wild and gain a senior and important position based on their assumed job grade.)