Nanny's Toilet Training

Those of you who think that Nanny is a tad anally retentive may well be right.

She has become somewhat vexed over our use of toilets; specifically she is worried that we don't know how to use them. Nanny's trolls in Tayside NHS trust have decided that we need a bit of toilet training; they have issued an instruction book on how to use the toilet.

Nanny's trolls have issued a four page leaflet entitled Good Defecation Dynamics, complete with a diagram.

Can you believe it!

The book reminds you to breathe when sitting upon the throne. Wise words indeed Nanny!

Posture is also important:

"Do not slump down but keep the normal curve in your back.

Keep your mouth open as you bulge and widen.

You should aim to do this every time you open your bowels."

The book adds:

"When you sit on the toilet make sure your feet are well supported;

you may need to use a small footstool."

Money well spent!