When I first heard about this particular Nanny daftness I assumed that I was in fact in some form of parallel universe, or altered state of consciousness.Yes, maybe I have been watching too much Dr Who!
Anyhoo, I soon realised that I was still on planet earth and in Croydon.
Nanny's chums in the Gloucestershire police take the health and safety of their officers very seriously, quite rightly so.
However, I would suggest that they may be taking their concerns over health and safety a little too far in the case of one of their community support officers Ian Yeomans.
Mr Yeomans was supposed to cover the Gloucestershire village of South Cerney from a police station three miles away, but the job did not come with a car.
The parish council quite reasonably suggested that Mr Yeomans could use the hourly bus services.
Fair enough?
Not in Nanny's world!
Gloucestershire police said he would not be allowed to use the buses, until the health and safety implications had been examined!
Er what precisely do they think will happen to him on a bus, that doesn't happen to the rest of us that use them?
Maybe they had read of the dangers of cans of paint brought on by pensioners?
Inspector Steve Williams said a health and safety check was needed for "all police activity".
Cretins!
Mike Stuart, council chairman, said:
"This over-cautious attitude has really gone beyond the realms of reality."
Have no fear, Nanny has found a solution that will cost her nothing (but will of course cost the taxpayer more money), Gloucestershire police will pay for Mr Yeomans to have access to a car.
Ahha.. so much for this Government's green credentials!!
ReplyDeleteThought they were trying to encourage we great unwashed to use public transport. Nanny, of course, always excepts herself from these policies.
What a pity. All policemen should patrol by bus, using the normal bus-routes & timetables. This would save a great deal of money, especially if the police authority could negotiate some sort of deal on All-Day Rovers (or whatever they're called). In return, criminals could sign an agreement that they will only make their getaways in accordance with the official routes and timetables, preferably in slow-moving vehicles no more powerful than, say, a Robin Reliant.
ReplyDeleteThis arrangement will allow bank managers to schedule appropriate times for bank-raids, and to rest easy in the periods between buses.
Since bus-drivers are not policemen and are subject to the same motoring laws as everyone else, such an initiative would end at a stroke the unfortunate propensity the police have of pretending to be Starsky (or is it Hutch) whenever they get behind the wheel; of mowing down pedestrians willynilly during high-speed pursuits; and of paying huge sums of taxpayers' money in compensation to the relatives, heirs and assigns of aforesaid mown-down pedestrians.
The exhortation, from a police officer on a Number 43 to the driver thereof: "Quick! Follow that Porsche!" will be met with a surly and very British non-compliance, to the relief of all passengers, and of course to the criminals also.
I commend this plan to the House.
Whilst I am sure the Honourable Gentleman (deceased) has the best off intentions I fear his plan is unsound, for twwo primary reasons, though there are no doubt about a thousand more, perhaps.
ReplyDeleteFirstly I think many Porsche drivers would have problems keeping up with the majority of the buses I see, even if the driver is lighting up as he leaves the stop, a sight I witnessed today.
Secondly the costs of providding the part time plad with a car may not in fact be an overhead too far. After all how many bus routes are there where you can travel to a small and obscure place - like Guildford or Gloucester - and stay for more than 10 minutes with any realistic expectation of catching a later return omnibus on the same day? Or even the same week?
You could propbably arrange the daily hire of Liz Taylor's new Maybach at a lower cost than encamping him or her at the local Hovotel for three nights whilst awaiting news of the next charabanc to civilisation. Walking would clearly be unacceptable due to the cost of shoes/danger of being a pedestrian/risk to health through over exertion.
No, a little open topped two seater, flourescent yellow body and big red wings would be just perfect for the role.