You know how some people are worried about the NHS?
Waiting lists, hospital infections, staffing shortages, drug shortages, funding etc?
Well, the good news is that Nanny is not worried about these issues at all!
She is instead worried about boxes of chocolate given to nurses and hospital staff.
Pardon?, I hear you ejaculate (can I say ejaculate on this site?).
Yes that's right, chocolates!
Nanny's chums in the Royal Cornwall Hospital Trust, which is £8M in debt and have imposed 300 job cuts, have announced a chocolate audit.
A what? I hear you ejaculate.
A chocolate audit, whereby staff have been instructed to count the boxes of chocolates left by grateful patients.
Seemingly Nanny believes that this is a good way of measuring patient satisfaction.
Needless to say, some people think that this idea is...
How shall I put it?...
One unnamed employee of the trust, is quoted in the media as saying:
"It's an unbelievable distraction from the main tasks in hand.
Surely the measure of satisfied patients is that they have been successfully treated, not how generous they are?"
Figures for the Royal Cornwall Trust showed that last year there were 8,000 gestures of gratitude, including boxes of chocolates and thank-you cards and letters, compared with 316 letters of complaint.
A Royal Cornwall Trust spokesman said:
"Like many hospitals, the trust informally records expressions of thanks as a small element of gauging levels of satisfaction.
This is not a compulsory audit and records are not expected to be completed at the expense of time spent on patient care."
Anytime spent doing things that are not involved with patient care is, by definition, at the expense of patient care.
How do they think staff will be able to perform this audit, if they do not do it at the expense of their main work?
I also guarantee, as sure as eggs are eggs, that once Nanny's bureaucrats have got hold of it will become compulsory.