You know how some people are worried about the NHS?Waiting lists, hospital infections, staffing shortages, drug shortages, funding etc?
Well, the good news is that Nanny is not worried about these issues at all!
She is instead worried about boxes of chocolate given to nurses and hospital staff.
Pardon?, I hear you ejaculate (can I say ejaculate on this site?).
Yes that's right, chocolates!
Nanny's chums in the Royal Cornwall Hospital Trust, which is £8M in debt and have imposed 300 job cuts, have announced a chocolate audit.
A what? I hear you ejaculate.
A chocolate audit, whereby staff have been instructed to count the boxes of chocolates left by grateful patients.
Seemingly Nanny believes that this is a good way of measuring patient satisfaction.
Needless to say, some people think that this idea is...
How shall I put it?...
Bollocks!
One unnamed employee of the trust, is quoted in the media as saying:
"It's an unbelievable distraction from the main tasks in hand.
Surely the measure of satisfied patients is that they have been successfully treated, not how generous they are?"
Figures for the Royal Cornwall Trust showed that last year there were 8,000 gestures of gratitude, including boxes of chocolates and thank-you cards and letters, compared with 316 letters of complaint.
A Royal Cornwall Trust spokesman said:
"Like many hospitals, the trust informally records expressions of thanks as a small element of gauging levels of satisfaction.
This is not a compulsory audit and records are not expected to be completed at the expense of time spent on patient care."
Anytime spent doing things that are not involved with patient care is, by definition, at the expense of patient care.
How do they think staff will be able to perform this audit, if they do not do it at the expense of their main work?
I also guarantee, as sure as eggs are eggs, that once Nanny's bureaucrats have got hold of it will become compulsory.
Absolutely pathetic!
Ken,
ReplyDeleteIf Nannys bureaucrats get hold of it the next stage will be that anyone visiting a friend or relative in hospital will have to submit a 64 page form detailing what chocolates they intend to take that has to sent to the newly created department of 'Governmental inspectorate of cocoa based products' at least six months in advance. Then once Nanny realises chocolate is involved there will be a multi-million pound review of the health implications, a white paper entitled 'Impact of chocolate based products on healthcare within the NHS structure and its implications for social welfare reform due to increased obesity levels in nursing staff', an immediate ban and a heavily subsidised campaign to extol the virtues of taking crispbreads to your nearest and dearest on their deathbed.
Heaven help you if you dare take a bag of Mint Imperials in to great Aunt Agatha. The paperwork will be crippling.
Good Afternoon, Ken;
ReplyDeleteWhat I find most disturbing is the unstated conclusion the Royal Cornwall Hospital Trust is drawing from thier "statistics". It would appear that the jobsworths at the RCHT are trying to find some way of minimizing or negating those the 316 letters of complaint. What better way of doing that than finding a far greater number of "compliments" and using this number as an offset.
Never mind that a box of chocolates might be given by a patient enamoured of the student nurse who smiled at him every morning, whilst a letter of complaint may detail a series of egregious behaviour or medical errors by multiple staff members -- 8,000 boxes of chocolate clearly trump 316 letters from disgruntled patients...
George P.
I fear you are all missing the point..Nanny is surely looking to see if she can tax the poor staff who receive these gifts!!!
ReplyDeleteI am disgusted, DISGUSTED at the pornographic image used on this post. Please mark further posts NSFW.
ReplyDeleteYou can actually see her nipples if you look closely, turn the contrast on your monitor up, squint a bit.
Actually, I believe she's the new appointee in charge of inventoring boxes of chocolate.
ReplyDeleteShe will also be in charge of a 5-year plant to improve chocolate inventories.
"But," you ask, "why not station her on the floor attending to patients?"
Ah, that would cause too many coronaries among eldery males.
Sorry, Ken, but I must once again complain (no box of chocolates for you this time around!)
ReplyDeleteYou have forgotten the essential paragraph:
Twats.
Why, they'll use private healthcare, of course!
ReplyDelete