Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Friday, August 25, 2006

Nanny Bans Tug of War

Nanny Bans Tug of War

Now as we all know Ladies and Gentlemen, Nanny tends to get bees in her bonnet about certain aspects of our lifestyle and culture eg; chavs, smoking, fat people, hoodies etc.

These bees cause her to go on and on about her pet hate of the day. However, rarely does her obsessional hatred extend to a particular town or region; until now that is.

Poor old Lyme Regis in Dorset seems to have offended Nanny in same way or another, and is now under her gimlet eye (Bagpuss..subtle Mr Quelch reference there:)).

You will recall that Lyme Regis recently offended Nanny by holding a conger eel cuddling contest, needless to say she banned it.

Unfortunately, Lyme Regis has found this month that yet another of their traditions has been banned by the interfering busybody we have come to "love" and "respect" known as Nanny.

This time it is their historic torchlight procession and children's tug-of-war that has offended Nanny.

Every August since 1948, hundreds of people in Lyme Regis have paraded metre high flaming torches through the town to open its carnival, with the tug of war contest taking place on the beach.

Needless to say no one has ever been injured in either event. However, Nanny's friends in the insurance company that cover the event say that they can no longer provide cover.

Nanny says that the naked flames are a fire hazard, and that the tug-of-war could lead to injury.

Organisers were told they could still go ahead, but would be liable for any claims made if there was an accident.

The result?

The tug-of-war has been ditched, and the torches replaced by small lanterns on the end of a metal pole.

These events, together with the now banned conger cuddling were held to raise money for charity and to provide some harmless fun.

Nanny hates fun!

Festival committee secretary Alan Vian said:

"We are all very sad that things have come to this.

We seem to be living in a world where you simply can't take any risks

Without risk, life is meaningless and dead.


  1. Anonymous2:31 PM

    Surely the real reason is that Nanny has applied pressure because only she is allowed to use the word "War"? Or indeed instigate it?

  2. Anonymous3:30 PM

    I give this a Nanniosity Rating of 42%; the conger-cuddling ban rated higher at 45%. (As a reference, the war in Iraq rates 100%, and Euan Blair's hangover rates 0%.)

    P.S. Thanks for the reference, Ken. Fame for Bagpuss at last!

    P.P.S. May I propose a new verb?

    nannify to meddle officiously and needlessly; to interfere with innocent enjoyment or pleasure; also to waste astronomical sums of money on schemes inspired by dogma or plain idiocy; and to justify one's otherwise unjustifiable employment at public expense.

  3. Perhaps the real reason that Nany has seen fit to meddle in this case is that in any tug of war there has to be a losing team. Thus to fit in with the whole "We can't have the little darlings growing up in a competitive environment and must shelter them from all the terrible trauma that 'losing' would bring." ethos that Nanny promotes the tug of war must be banned by whatever means. Health and safety is simply the means to that end despite the recent words from the head of the HSE about taking risks.

  4. Anonymous7:02 PM

    Nanny pointless and officious bans only work because of the spineless wimps who are now in positions of power in almost every charity and community organisation in the land. The moment any organisation registers as a charity or seeks any kind of official funding it has become part of the Nanny State.

  5. Anonymous7:18 PM

    The bans also work because of the morons who want to sue for anything they can at the drop of a hat (the loud noise resulting from such an action pops eardrums don't you know). The sooner we get away from the prats who believe that there's free money from anything which happens the better.