Nanny Bans Poles

As you are well aware there is something of an hysterical media campaign going on at the moment concerning the 1 billion immigrants that have entered the UK since the beginning of the year, mainly from East Europe.

Therefore it should come as no surprise to learn that Nanny has banned poles.

Aha, not that sort of pole though!

Nanny has in fact banned firemens' poles, seemingly they are a health and safety hazard.

Nanny's architectural chums who designed and built a £2.4M new fire station in Greenbank, Plymouth, have excluded the pole; they say that they are following safety guidelines.

Needless to say, the firecrews are a tad pissed off; they now have to run down the stairs instead.

However, Nanny is of the opinion that firefighters could suffer repetitive stress injuries, bad backs, sprained ankles and even chaffing to their hands and thighs if the pole (used to enable a quick response) is used.

Designers of the building in Greenbank, Plymouth, say they are following safety guidelines. But crews are furious.

Station officer Ken Mulville said:

"In 30 years in the brigade, I've seen one or two accidents on poles

compared to tens of accidents with people on stairs.

It takes about a second and a half to slide down a pole

as opposed to 15 or 20 seconds to run down two flights of stairs.

Seconds could be critical when responding to a 999 call."

One firefighter at Greenbank said:

"It's crazy they pay you to plunge into burning buildings but won't risk you on a pole."

Bernard Hughes, chairman of Devon Fire and Rescue Authority, is having none of it:

"There have been a number of injuries to firefighters on poles.

A risk assessment was taken and the decision has been made not to put poles in."

Utter Bollocks!