Nanny's paranoia and hysteria over paedophiles knows no bounds. I am more than sure something unpleasant must have happened to Nanny when she was young, the trouble is she is now making everyone else pay for that trauma.Anyhoo, a grandmother encountered Nanny's paranoia last month when she went to pick up her granddaughter from Boredom Busters play scheme in Bournemouth.
Unfortunately, she inadvertently took hold of the wrong child's hand because the girl was wearing the same yellow and pink hat as her own grandchild.
The grandmother quickly realised her mistake, only walking 10 yards with the girl not leaving the building, and apologised to the child and to the supervisors.
Needless to say, Nanny went into a fit of hysteria over this mistake. The local council received a complaint from another parent, and called in Ofsted. As a further precaution the council asked every parent in the scheme give a password before collecting their children.
The boundary of the scheme had now been roped off, and families now have to give a password and sign in and out.
Crazy, paranoia at its worst!
What kind of an impression does that give children about adults?
Seems a silly way to do it to me. They will run out of passwords.
ReplyDeleteNow here are my ideas which, being my ideas, I wholeheartedly recommend!
Idea one.
Don't let the child's minder/keeper leave the premises or area. A simple cell or pen could be used to ensure they stay and that therefore the person who delivered is clearly identifiable at time of departure. They could be tagged as well.
Idea 2.
If penning facilities are not available simply hold an identity parade when the child is claimed and let the child select from the collection of people presented to it.
This has the added advantage of conditioning the child to ID parades from an early age, something that they will be more and more likely to experience regularly as Nanny's ridiculous Law Generation Machine gets into full swing.
I can only assume that creative people who would otherwise have been writing scripts for TV and Film have elected to follow a career in public service (for the guaranteed pensions no doubt) but still wish to make use of their creative talents.
I had a very interesting chat with some people about Health and Safety demands at a preservation society open day yesterday.
Quite how the human race has survived for as long as it has without the H&SE is simply a miracle.
Given the lack of real world experience future generations of kids will be experiencing in their formative years I think steps should be taken immediately to ban any overseas travel, especially during gap years, and to disband the armed services which are clearly life threatening organisations preying on naive youth with their recruitment policies.
Ah, c'mon, Mini, you're getting a bit extremist here. The poor kiddies will be traumatised.
ReplyDeleteThere's a simple, easy method, no fuss, no muss. Just chain all the kids to the floor with a different padlock on each (short) chain. The "authorised adult" has the matching key.
This has the added bonus that the dear little imps won't leave the care centre open to lawsuits due to the children engaging in potentially lethal activities like running and jumping, another Nanny hobby horse. They'll also be able to empathise with poor, poor criminals whose only fault is a liking for other people's property...
Oh, scratch that - they won't be jailing thieves any more, will they, and they couldn't chain them up if they did.
Still, it's win/win all the way!
Having read about nannies “password” idea for collecting children
ReplyDeleteFrom playschools, I’m reminded of something I witnessed some time
Ago in Swindon. ( Now’s there’s a place that nanny has wrecked on
a regular basis.) The playgroup my daughter was attending ( age 3
at he time ) was experiencing a surge of pedophile paranoia – long before it was popular – and parents were given a password
( btw. It was the same word for all, this is Swindon we are talking about..) to be
given on collection of said offspring. I’d just collected my daughter when there occurred a bit of an “altercation” between the play-worker in sensible shoes and zany waistcoat ( draw own conclusions ), and a shaven headed quarter witted dad ( no conclusion to be drawn ). The father had no knowledge of the password, the play-worker had never seen him before. As the exchange heated up and the play-worker threatened the calling of the police, the little girl at the centre of the dispute piped up “ no, no, that’s my f*cking Dad ! “….
This happen nearly fifteen years ago. I’ m hearted to see that Nanny
Is recycling her tired and pointless ideas. sadly, it’s probably the fact That she has (a) forgotten it didn’t work, and (b) lacks the wit or Imagination to think up something new.
( ps. Friends ask me why I don’t live in Swindon anymore .. )
What a wonderfully told story Anonymous.
ReplyDeleteFortunately for health of my keyboard I had just finished my coffee when I read it ...
How about simply tatooing an ID number on the arm?
ReplyDeleteIt's such a simple idea, I'm suprised nobody has thought of it before...