The Pope Touched My Thigh

I am "gemused" to see that the tireless campaigner for women's rights and equality for all, Harriet Harperson, has watered down her "Equality Bill" following divine intervention from Pope Ratzinger.

Seemingly Harperson and ZaNuLabour don't want to go to war with "holy mother church", most especially when the Pope is coming to Britain during an election year.

I realise that Blair believes that the Pope is inflammable etc but, given that he has gone and was responsible for a disastrous fanatical holy war in the Middle East, I would have thought that ZaNuLabour would have shaken free of the shackles of religious fundamentalism by now.

Evidently not!

Politics and religion should be kept separate at all times.

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Blair's Fanaticism

Sadly fanaticism occurs in "democracies", not just dictatorships.

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Educashun - Nanny Bans Schools

Well the New Year has started with something of a "bang", thanks to Nanny's latest pronouncement wrt educashun.

Those of you with long memories may well recall our "beloved" ex PM, Tony Bliar, stating that "educashun, educashun, educashun" was ZaNuLabour's top priority.

Well folks, Nanny has finally lived up to her promise. Fearful that the word "school" alienates pupils and prevents them from learning, Nanny has banned it and instead wants "schools" to be called "learning centres" or some other pc bollocks name.

FYI, the rot started when Nanny decreed that all polytechnics were in fact "universities".....we all believe that, don't we children???

Anyhoo, I digress, Watercliffe Meadow Primary in Sheffield has adopted the new phraseology.

Linda Kingdon, the head teacher, said that the change would bring the school (sorry "place of learning") closer to real life.

Pah!

I guess on the planet where she lives that may be true, but here on earth that is complete BS.

Here are the words of "wisdom" from Kingdon (who Nanny would have us believe is an "educator"):

"This is Watercliffe Meadow, a place for learning. One reason was many of the parents of the children here had very negative connotations of school.

Instead, we want this to a be a place for family learning, where anyone can come. We were able to start from scratch and create a new type of learning experience. There are no whistles or bells or locked doors. We wanted to deinstitutionalise the place and bring the school closer to real life."

Dear oh dear, are people like this really allowed to be near children?

Quite how a laissez faire "learning centre" will prepare children for the adult working world of punch cards, monotony, commuting timetables (I know they don't reflect reality) and drudgery I don't know.

I wonder when Nanny will tell the poor little sods in her educashunal system that many of them ain't got no future, and that Nanny won't be able to afford to wipe their bottoms in the future?

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Scuttlebutt

Here is a little piece of rather old scuttlebutt that I have only just been told about, by an ex forces bloke I was chatting to yesterday.

I have no way of knowing how true it is, and would be happy to hear opinions from any serving members of the armed forces as to its veracity.

Seemingly when Bliar was still PM and he made his last visit to Iraq, to meet the troops, special security measures were taken.

No surprises there then?

Ermmm...well yes actually...here is the unusual added security measures taken..

Those British troops who were due to see him when he spoke in some hall had their weapons removed.

For why?

It seems that some of those serving in Iraq consider Bliar and Nu Labour to be traitors, for the shambles of Iraq, and that there were very real concerns that one of them would shoot him.

As noted I have no idea how true this is, and would welcome input from anyone who was actually present during Bliar's last visit to Iraq as PM.

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Crapita

I see that our old chums in Crapita are mentioned in the cash for honours reports.

"Rod Aldridge, former executive chairman of Capita

..were all on an internal Downing Street peerages list".

Source The Times

The New Nanny Store

Here we go folks, come and buy the new range of T shirts, coffee mugs, dog coats, mouse mats, badges etc all featuring the new Nanny Knows Best logo.

These wonderful products make the ideal gift for friends, family and Gordon himself.

Buy them here Nanny

Classic Nanny items, featuring Bliary Poppins, can still be bought here Nanny Classic

Happy shopping!

Utter Bollocks!

Nanny seems to be really losing the plot at the moment, maybe it's because Bliary is about to retire and there is a certain lightheadedness in the bunker at number 10.

Anyhoo, Nanny has decided yet again to come up with another ludicrous "initiative" wrt educashun.

This time she has decided that the centuries old practice of children sticking their paws in the air, when answering a question, needs to be abolished.

For why?

Seemingly it doesn't give the children who are quiet the chance to answer!

Dear God what utter bollocks!

Life in the adult world is tough, no one is going to blow your trumpet for you; you have to blow your own trumpet, and make your own success.

Nanny, by not imparting this lesson early on to the future adults of this country is doing them a major disservice and stunting their intellectual and personality development.

Hey, that's what she does though isn't it?

Anyhoo, Nanny has become concerned about "invisible children", who often try to avoid drawing attention to themselves in lessons.

Their work is neat and they are generally well behaved, but they need a different approach from teachers to help them make progress, Nanny's report found.

Nanny's chum Alan Johnson, the Education Secretary, said:

"We need to make sure that no-one is left behind at any point

from the most gifted and talented children at the top

of the class, to the quiet child who is well-practised

at hiding from the teacher's gaze at the back of the class."

As an aside, I was always rather reticent at school to stick my paw in the air; but look at me now!...

Oh s**t...maybe Nanny has a point then?

Anyhoo, I digress, Nanny has recommended a range of strategies which teachers could use in the classroom to help these children.

The methods included choosing which child to question in class, instead of inviting all the pupils to put up their hands if they know the answer....wouldn't that humiliate the poor kid if he/she didn't know the answer?

Children could also be given 30 seconds "thinking time" before being asked to answer, or told to discuss, questions in pairs before answering.

Nanny doesn't get it, it's the competitive edge that pushes the children to maximise their performance push their boundaries.

Holding the class back to keep up with the slowest will do neither the brightest nor the slowest any good whatsoever.

Hey, what the fark, let's ban teaching altogether and let pupils "discover" educashun by themselves!

Cheney Organising Coup

Sorry folks, totally off topic and not at all satirical today.

However, I read this piece (see below) - yes..I am even going to link directly on this - with horror.

It would seem, that in all but name, Cheney is attempting to organise a coup against Bush and start his own private little war.

Maybe Bliar, in his last few weeks in orifice could "tip W the wink" on this?

Quote:

"Cheney believes that Bush can not be counted on to make the "right decision" when it comes to dealing with Iran and thus Cheney believes that he must tie the President's hands.

On Tuesday evening, I spoke with a former top national intelligence official in this Bush administration who told me that what I was investigating and planned to report on regarding Cheney and the commentary of his aide was 'potentially criminal insubordination' against the President."

Source:

http://www.thewashingtonnote.com/archives/002145.php

Plus Ca Change

There we have it ladies and gentlemen, it is now official, both Bliary Poppins and the Smooth Talking Bar Steward are leaving office.

The end of an era?

Yes.

The end of the Nanny state?

No.

The design team here at Nanny Knows Best are already working hard on the new logo for the site, to take account of of Smiler Brown's ascendancy to orifice.

In the meantime I would like to remind you that classic editions of Nanny Knows Best and Bollocks To The Bar Steward products (T shirts, thongs, coffee cups, pillows, hoodies etc) are still available for sale.

They will doubtless become collectors' items, get them before they are banned!

- Nanny Knows Best Shop

- Bollocks To The Bar Steward Shop

A Nice Little Legacy

As our "beloved" Prime Minister gears up to leave office, you can see how happy he looks these days, he is planning to leave us with a nice little something to remember him by.

Bliary said the other day that he had "got it wrong" when he first came to office thinking that all you had to do was to throw money (our money not his) at social problems, to sort them out. He claims to have had a revelation that some people, no matter how much you "invest" (he means spend, but can't bring himself to use that "unword"), will still behave like animals. Therefore his "solution" is to apply the stick as well as the carrot.

A nice idea, unfortunately as with all of Bliary's "ideas" they are not thought through; and usually negatively impact the decent law abiding citizen, rather than the detritus of society.

Coming soon to your town, here are a few of Bliary's new "initiatives":

• Tesco jails, short-term "jails" are planned for supermarkets in order to ease the burden on police. Seemingly Nanny is already discussing the construction of a jail inside Selfridges. I wonder if they will allow you to take a Selfridges bag with you when you leave jail? The Metropolitan Police is interested in placing units in other stores, and is planning custody units in every London borough.



• Nanny intends to expand police powers to take fingerprints, DNA and other samples from offenders and store them on national databases. The list of crimes that will give the police the right to take DNA etc will include; speeding, failing to wear a seat belt, allowing dogs to foul the footpath and dropping litter.
  
  Nice eh?
  
  Fortunately we have 100% confidence in the integrity/security of Nanny's databases. We do, don't we?



• Police will be allowed to question suspects after they have been charged. Isn't this kind of back to front? After all, if the police charge you, surely they have obtained enough evidence already?



• Nanny also wants to fingerprint people over 10 accused of nonrecordable offences, crimes for which an offender cannot be imprisoned.

A nice little legacy wouldn't you agree?

Nanny's Special Little Friend

"Even the most glittering and glorious of reigns must come to an end."

So it will soon be for Bliary Poppins, as she shuffles off into the sunset; leaving "Smiler" Brown in charge of the country.

Bliary insists though that she leaves a strong legacy, she cites her "achievements" re; anti social behaviour, the "respect" agenda, educashun and the health service.

Errrmmmmmm...run those by me again????

Poor old Bliary, it happens to all leaders past their sell by date, her memory seems to have failed her; surely the above issues haven't quite been "addressed" to everyone's satisfaction?

Oh, and by the way, aren't there a few other things that she will be associated with (she's far too modest in not mentioning those items)...what were they now???

Oooh ooh, I remember; cash for honours and the Iraq war.

How could she forget those two "legacies"?

Whilst we are on the subject of legacies, I would be remiss not to mention Bliary's special friend across the pond.

W is leaving office next year, and part of his legacy seems to be tad intertwined with out own "beloved" Prime Minister. Now W is working hard to try to fix one part of his legacy, namely Iraq.

The troop surge has, so he says, improved the security situation there; despite the fact that around 200 people were blown to bits in a Baghdad market the other day, and despite the fact that the "surge" will not reach its "climax" (can I say climax on this site?) until June/July (surely "surge" is a misnomer?).

Anyhoo, one teeny piece of information that W and Bliary haven't quite told the world relates to troop numbers.

Now, we know that British troops are being pulled out as fast as Smiler Brown can get them out (so that he doesn't have to face the issue when he is PM), and we know that the Iraqi leadership has said that security will be handed over within the year etc etc.

We also know how many US and British troops are in Iraq, don't we?

Post "surge" there will be 170,000 US troops and several thousand UK troops, right?

Right?

Wrong!

For you see dear reader, there are other US troops there as well; these troops are not included in the official reporting or body count figures when they are killed.

Why is that?

Easy, they are working for Balckwater and other private US companies (including one run by Halliburton, Dick Cheney's old company).

So how many private mercenaries are in Iraq then, on top of the 170,000 official US troops?

100,000!

That is the figure according to Jeremy Scahill in his book Blackwater: The Rise of the World's Most Powerful Mercenary Army.

Scahill says that private contract companies take up to 40% of all of US money spent in occupying Iraq. These armies are expensive partly because the mercenaries who work for them earn around $100K, far more than the ordinary GI Joe.

Despite the costs, there are several advantages to using these private armies:

• The body count figures, reported by the media and Pentagon, exclude the 770 mercenary deaths.



• The mercenaries are unaccountable to public oversight by Congress, re their actions and their costs.



• When W announces in the future with great flourish that the US is pulling out of Iraq, the mercenaries will be left there continuing the war.

Quote:

"Blackwater has secured a position of remarkable power
and protection within the US military apparatus.
This company's success represents the realisation
of the life's work of the conservative officials,
including Rumsfeld, who formed the core of the Bush
Administration's war team. While initial inquiries
have focused on the complex labyrinth of secretive
subcontracts under which it operates in Iraq,
a thorough investigation into the company reveals
a frightening picture of a politically connected
private army that has become the Bush Administration's
praetorian guard.

Blackwater was founded in 1996 by conservative
Christian multimillionaire and ex-Navy SEAL Erik Prince,
the scion of a wealthy Michigan family whose generous
political donations helped fuel the rise of the religious
right and the Republican revolution of 1994..."

As the old saying goes:

"Judge a man by the company he keeps"

Bliary's legacy will be judged on his choice of friends, most notably his special little friend across the pond.

What a legacy to be proud of!

Nanny's Child Catchers

In Nanny's ceaseless quest to tag, categorise and record every aspect of our lives and ourselves, she is now getting her teeth into children.

Bliary Poppins herself has decreed that children could face compulsory checks, to discover if they are at risk of turning into criminals.

I guess someone will be reading bumps on their heads, or slaughtering a goat and checking the entrails to see who is the criminal then?

Nanny intends to check at important stages in a child's life, such as the move from primary to secondary school.

Nanny said that she wants to:

"Establish universal checks throughout a child's development

to help service providers to identify those most at risk of offending.

These checks should piggyback on existing

contact points such as the transition to secondary schools."

Nanny did not specify as to whether police or probation officers would be involved in the process.

Nanny also intends to expand her DNA database, to include:

"all suspected offenders who come into contact with the police".

That means that all Nanny has to do is to "suspect" you, then she can add you to her database.

Happy about that?

I'm not.

Do you trust her not to abuse the data that she gathers?

I don't.

Wasting Your Money

The regulars amongst you will know that I am an FCA and auditor, with a few years' experience of working in multi nationals around the world.

One of the many things that I have learned, aside from always going to the loo before a meeting and drying my hands afterwards, is that bonuses should be used to reward good results and exceptional performance.

Bonuses should not be used to reward failure.

Therefore I have to ask the question, why the hell have the staff at the Child Support Agency Staff (CSA) been paid over £25M in bonuses; given that the CSA is a total load of old bollocks!

Even Bliary Poppins herself has said that the organ is not "fit for purpose".

In 2002-03 £11M was paid in the form of bonuses, and £4M was paid last year (when John Hutton the Work and Pensions Secretary announced that the CSA was to be scrapped).

The CSA has a backlog of nearly 240,000 cases, and more than £3.5 billion of uncollected debts on its books.

Around one in five calculations or assessments are inaccurate, and it currently takes around 36 weeks to deal with new applications.

CSA staff admitted entering inaccurate information about families into the agency's computer system, and redirecting calls to answer phones.

Well done lads!

Needless to say Nanny's Department for Work and Pensions think the bonuses are great.

Quote:

"The bonus scheme, agreed by the unions, rewards the hard work of individuals.

CSA staff are, of course, eligible to be recognised in this way.

The CSA's well documented problems stem from the design of the system

introduced in 1993, but staff should not be punished for them."

Sorry, but have I totally misunderstood my last 20 years in business, aren't salaries meant to reward people for their work?

Money well spent!

There you go folks, in Nanny's world lousy work gets rewarded, especially when it's you and I that are paying for it!

Educashun

It is commendable that ever since winning orifice, Bliary Poppins has placed educashun at the very heart of the Nanny state.

Indeed his children, and the children of his ministers, have always been well catered for when it comes to their schooling.

As for the rest of the population, well Nanny has thought of them too. She decided that £50M should be spent on removing the ordinary whiteboards from schools, and replacing them with interactive ones.

These things, so it was claimed, would enhance the educashunal experience and enable pupils to learn at their own pace.

Tut tut, Nanny doesn't get it does she?

Pupils learn best in a competitive environment, where the effort is forced out of them to keep up with the best and brightest.

Anyhoo, needless to say it turns out that these interactive boards have been a waste of money. Research indicates that educashunal standards may in fact have fallen, as pupils struggle to keep pace with the fancy graphics and video images.

As with all things Nu Labour, this idea has been very much "form over substance". One of the marked failings, there are so many, of Nu labour has been their reliance on gimmicks and "presentation".

Much like a third rate management presentation, where facts are reduced to bullet points and coloured charts, educashun has followed suit. However, just like a third rate management presentation the pupils have learned nothing new.

A report from London's Institute of Education said:

"Although the newness of the technology was initially

welcomed by pupils any boost in motivation seems short-lived.

Statistical analysis showed no impact on pupil performance

in the first year departments were fully equipped."

The report also noted:

"The focus on interactivity as a technical process

can lead to some relatively mundane activities being over-valued.

Such an emphasis on interactivity was particularly prevalent

in classes with lower-ability students

In lower-ability groups it could actually slow the pace

of whole class learning as individual pupils took turns at the board."

Another failed Nanny "initiative"!

VOO Halloo II

Yesterday I wrote about Nanny's great new "initiative", VOO's.

Violent Offender Orders (VOO's) are designed to stop criminality and violence, before the criminal has even thought of committing the crime. All the police have to do is identify someone with a dodgy background, or extremist views, then the court slaps a VOO on them; hey presto problem solved!

Ho hum, all a bit of a fantasy really in my view.

However, if Nanny really is serious about identifying people who have yet to commit a violent crime but are nonetheless at risk of doing so; may I suggest that she directs her gimlet eye to the people identified in yesterday's Channel 4 Dispatches documentary "Undercover in The Mosque"

(Note Channel 4 have some sort of gizmo that you can download to enable you to watch their stuff, so in theory you can watch it on line)

The documentary identified a veritable hotbed of extremism and unpleasantness being pumped into people's minds in some mosques in Britain, by certain highly unpleasant individuals.

In brief, if you are:

-A woman
-A Christian
-A moderate Muslim
-A Muslim who helps non Muslims
-A Jew
-An atheist
-A homosexual
-A believer in democracy etc etc

Then tough luck, these guys think that you will go to hell and have every intention of speeding you on your way.

Quote:

"'An army of Muslims will arise' announces one preacher.

Another preacher said British Muslims must 'dismantle' British democracy

- they must 'live like a state within a state'

until they are 'strong enough to take over.'"

I would say that these characters are well deserving of a VOO or two. The trouble is that I doubt very much that Nanny will be handing out many VOO's to them.

Why is that then Ken? I hear you ejaculate...please stop this constant ejaculation at the keyboard, semen is such a persistent stain and clogs up the keys.

I digress...the reasons that Nanny won't impose VOO's on these people are two fold:

• Labour politicians are desperate to ingratiate themselves into the Muslim community. They need their votes, and can't be bothered to differentiate between mainstream Muslims and extremists (in fact they don't even take time to understand the difference). A such, any hint of a VOO which might upset their voters won't be popular with Labour.



• The extremists are followers of Wahabism, an extreme version of Islam practiced by Saudi Arabia. Much of the finance and support for the extremist preachers is in fact coming from Saudi Arabia. BTW, you may recall that the perpetrators of 9/11 had Saudi connections.

What is the significance of the Saudi connection?

Saudi is our ally in the forthcoming attack on Iran, and as such we trust them implicitly.

Bliary Poppins in fact recently blocked an investigation into bribery charges relating to Saudi Arabia and BAE, on the grounds of "national security".

Why was this?

1 There is a multi billion pound defence contract with Saudi Arabia in the offing.

2 Bliary Poppins recently spoke of an "alliance of moderation" to take on Iran as part of battle against extremism.

Guess who forms part of this alliance of moderation?

Yes, that's right, Saudi Arabia and Pakistan (a country riddled with extremist madrass's exporting extremist preachers to Britain, also not a democracy).

Why do we need an "alliance of moderation"?

Ah, simple, because we are going to attack Iran this year.

Don't believe me?

• The US is deploying another strike group in the Gulf



• Israel is practicing (and of course has denied this) attacking nuclear facilities with low yield nuclear weapons



• The US detained six Iranians inside Iraq last week. The Iraqis claim that they are diplomats, the US says they are not



• The US has appointed an experienced admiral to be head of Central Command (this you see will be mainly a sea borne air assault, rather thand a land assault)

Saudi Arabia is cosying up to Britain and the US, as they being Sunnis do not want to see the Shias take control of key areas of the Middle East (the Shias in Iran are now very chummy with the Shias who now are in charge of Iraq, thanks to the "regime change" enforced on Iraq by Blair and Bush).

Taking the above into account, there is no way on earth that VOO's will be used on the extremists identified in the documentary (as they are supported and financed by our "allies of moderation").

Haras Rafiq of the Sufi Muslim Council summed it up well:

"We are losing our children to extremists".

Note and understand very clearly, that mainstream Islam is a religion of tolerance and understanding. The rise of the extremists, if not checked, poses as much of a threat to the average Muslim living in Britain as it does to the non Muslims living here.

Something in this country really stinks.

Voo Halloo

Nanny really loves her ASBO's, in her view they have really improved the quality of life in the UK. Yet, she knows that they are not the total solution to social and criminal problems.

Nanny has been working hard to find the final solution. She feels that she needs something that will not just punish a criminal, and keep him away from decent people, but something that will stop a crime being committed even before the criminal (or potential criminal) has thought of committing that crime.

Ah, if only Nanny had the gift of second sight; she could lock all those nasty people away, who have yet to commit a crime, and at the stroke of a pen zeroise the crime statistics.

An impossible dream?

No, for now we have VOO's!

What the fark is a VOO then Ken?

Well, dear reader, a VOO is a Violent Offender Order designed to be served on people who might commit a violent offence.

Bliary Poppins wants to introduce VOO's, which will be targeted at those whom police believe are likely to commit violence.

They will be aimed not only at people who have a history of violent behaviour, or who have just left prison, but also at those who may not yet have committed an offence.

Brilliant isn't it?

The Home Orifice will publish a plan next month which proposes that potential trouble makers will be banned from certain areas, or mixing with certain people. Police will be alerted when the potential criminal moves house and possibly force him to live in a named hostel, the potential trouble makers' vehicle details will be given to police and curfews imposed on them.

The orders will last for at least two years, with no upper limit. Any breach could lead to up to five years in jail. Ministers believe police will apply for 300 to 450 Voos each year.

Oh this is so brilliant, why has no one ever thought of doing this before?

Well you see folks, there is one small fly in Nanny's oinkment.

Can you see that fly?

Yes, that's right, Nanny doesn't have the gift of second sight!

In order for the police to identify future criminals they will be using rather unscientific, and error prone, key performance indicators (KPI's), viz:

-The person's formative years and upbringing

-"cognitive deficiencies"

-"entrenched pro-criminal or antisocial attitudes"

-"a history of substance abuse or mental health issues"

-The person's domestic situation

-The person's relationship with their partner or family

-"possession of paraphernalia related to violent offending (eg balaclava)"

-"possession of extremist material"

Even better, just like ASBO's, when the police apply for a VOO all they have to do is apply via a magistrate's court, where the threshold for burden of proof is lower than a criminal court.

Brilliant!

I see no flaws whatsoever in this master plan of Nanny's; for if I did, I might be classed as a potential VOO recipient, as this site could be classified as "extremist".

Nanny Hates Smacking

Funny how Nanny, at times, can be a tad hypocritical isn't it?

Last month Nanny's Children's Commissioner for England, Prof Sir Al Aynsley-Green, announced that he had begun preparing a dossier for the United Nations, to back his case that parents who smack their children are abusing their human rights.

Prof Sir Al Aynsley-Green says that parents must be banned outright from smacking. In his view existing laws fail to protect children from harm, and he intends to submit a report to the UN by this autumn.

Prof Sir Al Aynsley-Green wants to ban parents completely from smacking.

Quite how this will be enforced, is beyond me. Child's word against parents perhaps?

All rather embarassing for Bliary Poppins, who admitted in an interview in 2006 that he had smacked both his elder sons.

As Bliary rightly said:

"I think everybody knows the difference

between smacking a kid and abusing a child."

In other words, exercise common sense and trust the judgement of the parent.

Nanny Bans Emigration

Like all third rate dictatorships, Nanny does not like it when people emigrate. Emigration sends a clear signal to the world that all is not quite as it should be in Nanny's Britain.

As such Nanny was especially displeased when one of her own Home Orifice staff tried to emigrate in November 2006.

Nicholas Faulkner, a Home Orifice security consultant, made the rather bold move of sending an email to Bliary Poppins herself.

Unfortunately he has now been sacked, for having the temerity to write to Nanny.

Mr Faulkner said in the mail that he had waited years for a visa to the US, so that he could leave Britain. Seemingly Mr F was not happy with high house prices, taxes and mass immigration.

He said that he felt disenfranchised.

Surely not in Nanny's Britain!

In the mail he noted that given the close relationship Mr Blair enjoyed with President Bush, could he help?

Mr Faulkner didn't think he was putting his job at risk, because he shared his office with Abid Javaid. Abid was the immigration official who kept his job, despite being exposed earlier as a leading member of an extremist Islamic group which Nanny wanted to ban.

Unfortunately Mr Faulkner was wrong.

A few days later he was fired for gross misconduct. Mr Faulkner had his contract terminated at the Immigration and Nationality Directorate in Croydon, where he had been aiding the national identity cards project.

Quote:

"I am flabbergasted.

My treatment compared to that of Abid

says an awful lot about what is wrong with this country

and what is happening to democracy."

Rather oddly though, after being fired, he then received a note from No 10 thanking him for his letter and saying that it was being referred to the Foreign Office.

Don't you just love this country?

Nanny's Segregated Swimming Pool

I wonder sometimes if Nanny really understands what she stands for. On the one hand she pushes her pet subjects of "diversity awareness", "tolerance" and "quotas". However, then she comes along and does something like this which flies in the face of tolerance and equality.

Rather "surprisingly" (look closely folks, you will find I am being a tad "ironic" with my use of that word), my own local borough of Croydon (see www.croydoniscrap.com for all about Croydon) have put their two left feet firmly in the sh*t on this one.

It seems that Croydon Council have decided that the local Muslim community are not being treated fairly, when it comes to swimming facilities. As such Nanny's chums on the council have decreed that Thornton Heath (a part of Croydon) swimming pool should hold Muslim only sessions on a Sunday afternoon.

As if that were not bad enough, the sessions are for men only.

A triple whammy!

Racist, religioust and sexist, to boot!

Nice going Nanny.

The men only swimming sessions are held for two hours every week in Thornton Heath swimming pool, in fact they have been doing so for a year now.

I should point out that non Muslim men may swim during this time. However, they must follow a dress code akin to bathing in the Victorian age; swimming shorts must hide the navel and extend below the knee.

Daniel Foley, a regular at Thornton Heath, said:

"I turned up and saw a sign saying it was closing early for Muslim afternoon

I couldn't believe it."

Croydon Mosque says:

"Muslims are not allowed to show intimate parts of their body.

This is non-negotiable.

Muslims have as much right to go swimming as anyone else."

A spokesman for Croydon Council said:

"We are keen to ensure sporting facilities in the borough

are accessible to the whole community.

We appreciate that certain religious groups,

such as Muslims, have strict rules on segregation

for activities including sports,

so in response to requests from the local community,

we have been running these sessions at Thornton Heath Leisure Centre

for the past year,

with a women-only session on Saturday evening and a male-only session on Sunday evening.

These have been successful and well attended.

Croydon is not unique in offering such sessions

to minority communities, many local authorities do the same.

We are not giving preference to any one group

but simply taking practical steps to create access to all."

A few facts here:

• Local authorities collect council taxes from all residents, in order to provide services and facilities for all residents without fear or favour to any one group. The segregation is clearly discriminatory, as it denies many people access to the facility on a Sunday afternoon.



• Many people in South Africa and America fought and died for the right to sit in the front of the bus, to attend the same schools and to swim in the same pools as everyone else. Croydon's policy is segregation, pure and simple; it is a retrograde step which will alienate the Muslim and non Muslim communities.



• It has taken centuries for Britain to develop the freedom and civil liberties, that we should be rightly proud of. We will not throw those centuries of toil and sacrifice away simply to placate those who are intolerant and bigoted.

Those who will not accept mixing with their fellow British citizens in a communal facility (funded by the community), and who seek to commandeer that facility, should consider their future in this country.

Period!

Division and segregation lead to suspicion and intolerance.

Intolerance and bigotry are not welcome.

This is non-negotiable.

Feel free to write to Croydon Council here Croydon Council

Here is a list of councillors, and their email addresses Councillors

Give them my love:)

I would write to them myself, but they have steadfastly ignored very single communication that I have ever sent to them. So much for local democracy!

Whilst you are about it, why not drop Bliary Poppins a note too? He has been banging on about Muslims needing to integrate more, this segregation is surely a contradiction of his stated policy is it not?

Write to the PM here Bliary Poppins.

Nanny is Mother, Nanny is Father

Nanny has an almost messianic belief that she would make a better parent to people's children, rather than the parents themselves.

As such it should come as no surprise to learn that Nanny's special little friend, Children's Minister Beverley Hughes, wants to force parents to go to special classes to learn to sing their children nursery rhymes.

For farks sake!

In Nanny's view, those who fail to read stories or sing to their youngsters threaten their children's future and the state must therefore "correct" their inadequate parenting.

Now, I fully agree that interacting with children by reading stories etc is a good thing. However, how precisely will the state determine if a parent is interacting enough?

Cameras in people's homes maybe?

Encouraging children to nark on their own parents, as they did in Nazi Germany and in Orwell's "1984"?

Nanny Hughes said in November that the state would train a new "parenting workforce" (who the fark thinks these phrases up?). This "parenting workforce" would ensure that parents who fail to do their duty with nursery rhymes are found and "supported".

How will Nanny "find" these non singing parents?

What constitutes "support"?

Bliary Poppins, the man who invaded Iraq and caused countless deaths of women and children, says that he believes strongly in family values. He is now backing a variation on the ASBO, the FASBO.

A FASBO is a pre-emptive ASBO, designed to "correct" (whenever the state uses the word "correct" I immediately wretch) the lives of children who are likely to fail even before they are born.

How can you possibly identify a failure before they are born?

In Victorian times there were those who believed that criminal behaviour could be identified, by reading the bumps of people's heads. It seems that we have a new breed of "bump readers".

Parenting orders are now likely to be directed against parents whose children have committed no criminal offence.

Nanny Hughes gave details of the new Nursery Rhyme directive, when she outlined details of Bliary's "national parenting academy" in November. This is the body that will train teachers, psychologists and social workers to intervene in the lives of families and become the "parenting workforce".

Quote:

"Some parents already know that reading

and singing nursery rhymes with their young children

will get them off to a flying start

often because this is how they themselves were brought up.

For other parents without this inheritance

these simple techniques are a mystery

and are likely to remain so

unless we act and draw them to their attention."

Nanny Hughes condemned the way governments before 1997 (ie she took a cheap swipe at the Tories) thought they had no role in the upbringing of children, which it "regarded as the entirely private arrangements families make."

The reason that governments pre 1997 thought that it was a private matter, is because it is!

Herein we see the fundamental problem with Labour, they believe that they know better than the individual as to what is best for the individual.

When the state thinks that it knows better than the people who elect it, then we really are in trouble.

Nanny Hughes then said that without Labour's policies:

"We would be on the road to ruin..."

Hah!

The arrogance of the woman!

Pass me the sick bag someone.